Do non-americans realize that the United States is literally just a bunch of countries in a trench coat that agreed to be semi-nice to each other in order to sneak into the Big Boy Club? Because let’s be honest that’s just what the USA is
The rest of the world: So… you’re a big country?
The states, standing on each other’s shoulders: Y- yes,,,
I love how everyone who’s reblogged this hasn’t added anything on or tagged anything on it. They’re all just like “Yeah. That’s it. That’s the entire United States summed up in one post-”
#oh my god is THAT why you guys are so weird
Yeah 100%
Don’t let these tags die omfg
10/10 can confirm
absolutely bonkers that my own tags have crossed my dash like this more than fifteen reblogs after i wrote them
I moved to another state. 30 minutes away. My family acts like I betrayed them and can’t understand my life choices. It’s completely different way of life, especially during covid. Completely different country.
every single fucking time one of those articles of “things europeans find weird about america” complains that sales tax isn’t included
states set the sales tax!!! it’s literally different across state lines!!! american retailers can’t add it bc they’d have to account for 50 different prices!!!!!!!
It gets even more insane! California’s clean air standards for cars and other such things are so much higher than everyone else’s! So if a car manufacturer in Detroit wants to sell their damn cars in California, they need to build their cars to California clean air standards. But retooling an assembly line and car design to have some cars meet California clean air standards, while building others to other clean air standards is a lot of work, so car manufacturers all over the country have to build all their cars to California clean air standards.
Which is why California went into an uproar earlier this year when the Federal Government tried to argue that states can’t set their own environmental guidelines! “Fuck you!” says California, “we remember Los Angeles in the 80s, how bad the smog gets, go pollute your own damn air over in your own damn state where there isn’t a thermal inversion layer to trap all the smog down near ground level!”
“But you’re making it soooo haaaaaard to sell our cars everywhere else!” they whine.
“Fuck you!” California shouts. “And while we’re at it, we don’t give a shit what you say, Mister President, we’re gonna open our damn states when we’re good and ready, and our friends Nevada, Oregon, Colorado, and Washington State agree! Also, we’ve decided to legalize weed!”
“But the Federal Government says it’s illegal!” shouts the other states.
“Fuck you, we make the drug laws in our state, and we say toke up!”
“Now, hang on!” shouts the Federal government. “You can legalize weed in your state, but all banks are federal agencies, so if your weed dispensaries set up bank accounts, those accounts have money from illegal practices in it and are subject to seizure by the federal government!”
“FINE!” shouts California. “Hey, weed guys, you can keep selling weed, but you can only deal in cash!”
“How the fuck is that supposed to work!?”
“I DON’T FUCKING KNOW, TAKE IT UP WITH DC!”
“By the way, if you’re gay married elsewhere, we won’t recognize it,” mutters Texas.
“OH FUCK YOUUUUUUU!”
And so it goes and so it goes…
“What’s sales tax?” says Montana. “What’s road maintainence?” “also what’s a speed limit?”
@evertree123 I’m European I went to Ohio once for a summer job worst experience ever in my life they deserve to be the crackstate along with Florida
#someone: implies that oregon and washington are basically the same state #me: oh well guess i have to MURDER today
ha haaaaaaa hahahahahahaha but for real
Every time someone asks me anything about living in oregon i gave to preface it with a very loud “I AM FROM PENNSYLVANIA”
I have lived in oregon for over 25 years now.
You see where this is going
I live right on the border between Washington and Oregon, across the river from Portland, and there is a bizarre amount of tension between our cities. Portland’s unofficial motto is “Keep Portland Weird”, so in protest my city decided on a counter-motto of “Keep Vancouver Normal” which is the funniest and most suburban thing ever imo
Also everyone has an irrational hatred for Californians
Irrational is a strong word…
We also band together in loose federations. I’m from New Hampshire and we hate everyone from Massachusetts on principle and call them Massholes, but if someone from New York even THINKS about trash talking Boston sports, I am culturally obligated to throw down because New Englanders hate each other but we hate the rest of the country more.
This is why I’m trying to leave this country.
Rhode Island.
Dredged up from deep in my sordid history:
An Iowa house and a Wisconsin house share a sewer line. How do you tell which one is the Wisconsin house?
.
.
.
It’s the one with the diving board.
I’m from Colorado, but moved to Florida some 15-ish years ago now (after living in other states, too). For YEARS the man-thing and his family have made comments about how weird I am, and how differently I do things, and think, and act, and bla bla bla… I took the man-thing back home for a week like a year and a half ago now. Lived out of Colorado for over 20 years. We land at the airport, get out of the plane, and within 20 minutes he’s staring at me all wide-eyed because “they ALL act like you!” and “they ALL talk like you!” and within a couple of days it was “They all EAT like you and DRIVE like you and and and…” It’s a different world.
Everyone in the Midwest would strangle every other state in the Midwest, but if someone starts talking shit about the Midwest we all turn on them at once as one united front.
As a “native” Californian (in that I was born here and have lived here my whole life but am not indigenous), I can fairly state that the hate for Californians is not completely irrational. Also - California itself is, at minimum, two countries.
I’m from Maryland and we’re basically all cryptids to people from every other state except Virginia where we’re like a nuisance level invasive insect. Everyone in Maryland is kinda like some fucked up Batman villain outside of Maryland but in Maryland we’re all just kinda like that. I don’t think anyone except Virginia has a real beef with Maryland unless they go there at which point they either flee as quickly as possible or become one of us forever.
Ok, I’ll give you the confusion on sales tax, but not until someone can explain VAT in a way I can freakin understand.
Also 100% on state vs state and regionalism. I’ve lived in Illinois for 47 years, but dammit, I’m fom IOWA. (Hubs is from Michigan and no decades of having to live in this hellstate will change his position)
Also as far as I can tell, every state has always had some form of secessionist movement, whether wanting to truly go it alone (Texas, Hawaii, etc), or be part of a conglomerate (western states, also the Confederacy, which ACTUALLY tried to secede at one point, causing a horrifically violent war), or, and this part always kills me, INTRA-state secessionist movements like how here in Washington a lot of Seattlites want to split off from Eastern Washington, although near as I can tell this faction’s actual goals would only be met by having Seattle-Bellevue become a city-state.
(Seattleites basically do think of Washington the way ancient Athenians thought of the rest of Greece, thanks for asking.)
I used to live in Maryland (Baltimore specifically) and when I moved down south I can’t tell you how badly I freaked out when I saw how wide the parking spaces are. I don’t know why you need such big parking spaces down south. Also the fact that no one backs up into a parking space still confuses me.
