I’m The Problem, It’s Me

Dani. 30. She/they. side blogs @hollanovonov and @mlh-imagines Multi-fandom mess. Late diagnosed autistic. Mentally and physically disabled but trying to survive and enjoy life. OpheliasFate on ao3, nothing posted as of late (old Witcher fics orphaned, inquire for titles).

[dani-dandelino]

Hi, I’m Dani! Long-time tumblrina starting fresh with a new blog, same name as before though (used to be a Witcher-dedicated blog). See below for all of my old @‘s. Who knows where this one will take us. I’m currently into hockey, music, film, and reading. I’m in many fandoms, predominantly Dan and Phil, Supernatural, Heated Rivalry, and Twilight. I’m getting more into horror movies and shows lately (used to be a scaredy cat!) so feel free to give me recs! I also have side blogs for the Game Changers books series/Heated Rivalry show @hollanovonov & @mlh-imagines

This is a friendly blog so feel free to interact! Reblogs with replies, asks on or off anon, headcanon requests, I’ll eventually take microfic prompts to get me back into writing.

Current album(s) I’m listening to: obsessed with the Seeking Persephone score by James Schafer

Current read(s): Just finished The Long Game by Rachel Reid (reread for comfort)

Current show(s): The Vampire Lestat aka Interview with the Vampire s3 (2022 - present), House of the Dragon (2022 - present), constantly reheating (aka watching Heated Rivalry over and over again)

Most recent movie: Heartstopper Forever (2026)

A movie rec: National Treasure (2004), everyone’s gotta watch it at least once imo

A show rec: The Haunting of Bly Manor (2020) on Netflix or DVD (your local library might have the DVD)

A book rec: A Court of Frost and Starlight by Sarah J Maas (its book 4 of 5 tho so you’d have to read the others first so I guess I’m recommending the whole ACOTAR series)

A song rec: Downfall by Noah Kahan

Previously Used Blog Titles

the-millennium-tardis

waterinthewind

pure-reylo-trash

suddenly-a-twilight-blog

geraskier-trashh

dani-dandelino (current)

Previously Used AO3 Names

ShieldSnitch2938

K5C8

Dani_Dandelino

OpheliasFate (current)

[pseudophan]

dan and phil stun at opening night of death note the musical

[going2hell4everythingbutbeingbi]

getting lost in boston is fun because I turned around on a street corner three times and some guy yelled "hey stupid! the bus is that way!" very helpful interaction and accurate insult, 10/10 no notes

[going2hell4everythingbutbeingbi]

one time I walked around a building a couple times looking for a bathroom and this guy went "this bitch thinks she's on a merrygoround, where the fuck are you tryna go? bathroom? one floor down to the right behind the door that says bathroom."

[mentohol-blog]

My very first time in Boston. I was absolutely miserable, trying to drag my giant suitcase up a lengthy set of stairs in the pouring rain. This guy who had already reached the top looked back at me with the most pure expression of disgust I’ve ever seen in anyone’s eyes, marched back down the stairs, grabbed my suitcase, carried it to the top, left it there for me, and walked away without ever saying a word. I think about him often.

[just7frogsinapeoplesuit]

For the people in the notes going "why is Boston like this": a) the insults are a way to show you have no ulterior motives when helping someone (and don't need to be thanked or repaid), and b) Boston was settled by the Irish

[direhydroid]

also the Italians. mixing Irish and Italian sociocultural attitudes had the effect of multiplying the Sass Levels by the power of infinity, in the sense that you get all of the clever dry wit of the Irish and all of the bitchy gossipy condensation of the Italians rolled into one very stereotypically overly-friendly American package.

also worth noting that who you are to them doesn’t matter. they’ll talk to strangers like that and will also talk to their best friends like that. they’re just Like That.

[just7frogsinapeoplesuit]

More from the notes:

[orcarriagesthatwork]

I think about this cake every day

[tizzymcwizzy]

sorry for exposing your tags but this is hilarious

[microsuedemouse]

OP, I hope you don’t mind me making an addition:

When I turned 17, we ordered a cake at the grocery store for my party, as we’d done many times before. If you wanted something written on the cake you’d write it into a section of the order form. We requested, very simply, “Happy Birthday Courtney”. When we went to pick it up the day of the party, this is what we got.

The bakery employees had absolutely no explanation for this. The order form, attached to the box, very clearly did not contain any of those extra names. Whomever had done the writing was no longer in, so there was no one to ask how this had happened. The fact that the name ‘Juan’ is misspelled bewilders me to this day. (I’ve never seen ‘Miley’ without the E, either, but it’s believable that someone might spell it that way.) Did this cake slip in from an alternate universe where I’m one quarter of a set of Hispanic quadruplets? Dyslexic Hispanic quadruplets, maybe?

This cake became the focal point of my party. At least two of my friends regularly called me ‘Courtney Mily Jaun Pablo’ for years to come. My siblings and I still reference it sometimes, eleven years later. It is probably the funniest thing ever to occur at any birthday celebration of my life, and may well remain so for the rest of my days.

I love a botched cake.

[helenarth]

one time me and some pals spotted one of those big cookie cakes in a store. it was done up with red icing and little X's for kisses and in the middle it said

No One Like You

now, it took us a while to realise it meant "(there is) no one like you". at first, we all parsed it as a botched "no one like(s) you"

for ages after when we'd wind each other up we'd declare "NO ONE LIKE YOU ☹️👎"

[itseasytoremember]

I just feel like it's important to post the Sacred Texts

[shofarsogood]

[ekjohnston]

The Cake Wrecks blog is one that I miss.

[shadowen]

This is an anti-despair checkpoint! You must share something you're looking forward to before scrolling on.

[humptymp3]

Peeta: (has eyelashes and is nice)

Katniss: he is so diabolical it’s unreal. He’s trying to KILL me.

[humptymp3]

Imagine being 16 and being so sure you’re going to die like you’re closing your eyes to fall asleep forever in the child death arena you’re in and when you open them next the most beautiful girl you’ve ever seen who you’ve been head over heels for since you were like seven at least and she’s talking so sweetly to you that maybe the birds have stopped singing to listen to her now too, and she is kissing your face and she is feeding you warm soup and she is so good at acting like she loves you that you realize that the first time you’ve been treated this gently and handled this preciously is here in this cave with this beautiful girl in the child death arena and you think to yourself that you have to keep fighting off death itself if only it keeps that sweet smile on her face.

[theswisscheeserag]

You gotta be really publicly passionate about things if you want your friends to text you. Bc people will forget to text you because they’re human. But if you’re really openly the friend who loves identifying ants your friends will think of you when they see ants. And they’ll text you “what ant is this [blurry photo]”. And then they’ll ask you how you’ve been and we should get coffee sometime. But if they don’t know what you love they’ll never know what you like

[theswisscheeserag]

And then when the ant convention is in town they’ll be like dude… we should go to the ant convention. But they would never think to go if they didn’t know u loved ants

[theswisscheeserag]

And sometimes you need to ask them to go to the ant convention. But you Will not get anywhere hiding your passions

[goodgirlcoded]

i know this is tumblr and we’re all playing perverts but i just think some of you would be excellent company for a late night walk and a four hour conversation about absolutely nothing

[bunnyycocaine]

ill do a whole lot more than just bite the bullet ill fuck the gun too

[viralfrog]

[melancholygirls]

I passed a flower shop next to a tattoo shop and at first I laughed because I thought it was ironic and then i freaked because IMAGINE YOUR OTP IN A FLORIST/TATTOO ARTIST AU

[stillalittlekid]

OMG I COULD TOTALLY IMAGINE THEM LIKE THAT IT WOULD BE SO PERFECT

[christ-with-a-why]

[melancholygirls]

I cannot BELIEVE a post I made when I was 13 is circulating! And also apparently started this trope? I thought somebody had the idea separately and it blew up that way😭

[bosspigeon]

so bc i am a Gross Dude my friends i and sometimes rate our burps and my coworker (who is a teen girl) burped in front of me once and i instinctively rated it

so now every time she burps she looks to me hopefully for a rating and bc she has delicate little baby burps i now have to create an entirely new Burp Rating System unique to her bc i rate anything below a 5 and she looks at me like this

[jaesawalth]

HAPPY MOOSE DAY !!!

[dani-dandelino]

I work with small children and today I have Ram Sam Sam stuck in my head 😭

[knownqueerbaiter]

SEPARATE CHURCH (AO3) AND STATE (TRADPUB)

[girldickdotcom]

they should invent a job that doesn't affect your schedule or energy level that you don't have to go to if you don't want but you still get paid