Salty Is My Default @capnsaltsmcgee - Tumblr Blog

I'm playing through the Ace Attorney games for the first time and I think that Wright and Edgeworth should fuck nasty. Not for shipping reasons I just feel like it would fix them

anachronic-cobra

I'm begging you two to at least angry-fuck before you end up in the middle of court with raging hate-boners

sherlck-deactivated20140622

wear a different perfume when you commit murder fuckin amateurs

feathery-soul-deactivated201408

also wear shoes that aren’t your actual size and use gloves if you have to touch anything

agnosticwitch

what the hell is this here? A how-to-commit-the-perfect-crime??

moontideempress

vimbia

Wear a wig. Contact lenses . Change your accent . Change Hand when writing . Layer up to make you look big if your small n vice versa . Contour the hell outta your face.

jazmynedrakeford

Get your car interior thoroughly washed, then purposely dirty it up again.

youhavearighttoyourwrongopinion

Also use an icicle for the weapon because it melts away Buy a ticket to a show and tell as many people / post it on social media that u went to the show

caribe-bby

Y'all suspect af😂

dookiediamonds-deactivated20200

*adds 363,462 more people to list of that I will fuck never with*

electricocelot

Make sure you set up a solid alibi Pay for everything in cash

Or, for those of you who’ve read Roald Dahl’s Lamb to the Slaughter, feed the murder weapon to the police

prismatic-bell

Bodies should be buried vertically, not horizontally, to avoid the appearance of a grave. If you choose to dismember the body instead of bury it whole don’t forget to take a lighter or bottle of lye to the fingertips until charred or melted away, and use bleach on every surface that may have come in contact with blood splatter.

Also, don’t fucking brag about it later Jesus wept.

harmonysama-deactivated20190724

all this info is good for writing

but for actual real life, no one on tumblr has enough energy to get out of bed

ain’t no body on this website is gonna murder anyone

thewelterschallenge

Make friends with a pig farmer. A full grown nursing sow can eat an entire human body, bones and all, in about 6 hours.

bloodforbones

Shit that last one is more helpful than I wanted it to be, I’ll never look at pigs the same

sweetgirlfriend

Reblogging for *educational* purposes :)

fluidityandgiggles

This post is legendary and I’m so glad I found it. I love all the advice. Except the icicle. That’s technically impossible. Use a disposable knife instead and break the handle.

nintendhoe-switchblade-deactiva

use a glass knife with wooden handle for ultimate wounding. its gonna leave a severe fucking wound and u can burn the wood and melt down the glass if it doesnt shatter inside the victim.

emilyelizabethfowl

Thomas what did i tell you about making suspiious posts?

ferntastic-m

I love learning.

srazars-main-blog-deactivated20

IT’S ON MY DASH I REPEAT IT’S ON MY DASH.

ratherinterestingmilkshake

ON MY DASH

dickplinko

WHAT THE FUCK IT’S ON MY DASH. ALSO JEVER TRUST ANYONE WITH MORE THEN 3 pigs

louder-thangodsrevolver-deactiv

Always reblog

law-the-lewd

“Never trust anyone with more than 3 pigs” is the best thing I’ve ever read

goodoldpanicattheeverywhere

on another note, I just remembered Roald Dahl wrote Lamb to the Slaughter (I read it in sophomore year)

wind-the-music-box

Dummies.

Bury one (1) oyster in the yard for two weeks. Put it on the plate with a bunch of others, serve to victim.

There’s plenty of health risks when it comes to eating raw seafood- No one will bat an eye.

worldheritagepostorganization

World Heritage Post

guerrillatech

silly-slacker-person

There are political newspaper comics that aren't this succinct

soberscientistlife

whatbigotspost

Always nice when math helps make it all the more clear how ridiculously reasonable the worker demands are.

This is what the studios have brought everything to a grinding halt for.

argentumconfidimus

halles-comet

why is this so fucking funny

nerokei

ijustwannagobacktosleep

thank you kirby

nonbinarycryptic

Oh thank god for kirby

sanguinewolves

ty kirby

cyborgrhodey

THE BANANAS ARE GAY

THESE BANANAS

THE BANANAS IN PAJAMAS ARE GAY

BELATED HAPPY PRIDE MONTH EVERYONE

yesterdaysprint

The Daily Times, New Philadelphia, Ohio, July 9, 1924

thank-you-everyone-deactivated2

whoever wrote this paper has the funniest phrasing possible

the-wave-finally-broke

happy turtle bit off a cop’s toe in the hudson river day for those who celebrate

tonysopranobignaturals-deactiva

love that this caused so much controversy the thread needed to be locked. over chicken sandwich

boundingfeather

gang this does not even scratch the surface

Someone posted a picture of a piece of chicken between two hamburger buns titled “Chicken Burger” to /r/food. Another user commented “Chicken Sandwich” on the post, and was slapped with a 30 day ban by the mods. When they responded to ask why, the mod said

“Correcting someone in public is public shaming, on top of being incorrect, it’s a pretty shitty comment to leave.”

So now /r/food is on lockdown after being spammed with posts titled “Chicken Sandwich” and other variations. The mod that handed the ban down pinned a post doubling down, comparing the situation to “Pride posts that always fill up with bigots” and “removing racists from posts featuring POC”, and including a link on “how to correctly, correct someone.”

because someone commented “Chicken Sandwich” on a post titled “Chicken Burger”.

catbureau

Okay but this also does not scratch the surface either It all started when the sandwich guy posted about what happened to him on r/TIFU, which led to a lot of outrage including someone in the comments saying they were also banned from r/food just for saying they had diabetes (this was later confirmed by a mod). All this anger turned into a brigade which resulted in the entire sub being flooded with almost nothing but posts about Chicken Sandwiches, now known as burgergate. The mod who initially instituted the ban then went on to compare fending off spammers to defending the capitol building during the January 6 riot. You can see in the post that this made it into r/subredditdrama, a community which discusses ongoing drama across reddit. This particular thread in the screenshot is locked, an interesting detail for reasons that come into play later.

Someone else then goes and posts about burgergate on another sub, r/iamveryculinary , which is dedicated to making fun of food related snobbery and drama. This does not go over well, as it turns out that one of the mods of r/food is also a mod of r/iamveryculinary. This mod then proceeds to get slapfights in the comments, which notably includes her saying she would “rain fiery hell upon” anyone who posts chicken sandwiches in r/food, and complaining that she’s so focused on moderating burgergate that she has no time to spend with her kids. People then beg her to forget the chicken sandwich drama and take care of her children. I would love to give you some more details about this incident or tell you the other side, but I can’t since she deleted all the comments of the people she was arguing with so most of what we have left is just the things she herself said. Someone then goes on to post about the r/iamveryculinary drama on r/subredditdrama again. This post immediately gets deleted completely, because it turns out that the r/food mod who also moderates r/iamveryculinary also moderates r/subredditdrama. More people beg the mod to stop caring about the drama and spend time with her kids. The whole thing eventually gets posted to r/subredditdramadrama , a meta sub where people discuss drama that goes down in r/subredditdrama. Another post is then made to r/subredditdramadrama, where the sandwich guy who was initially banned posts his conversation with the mod that banned him. Up until this point, the original mod had been arguing that the permanent ban wasn’t because of the chicken sandwich comment (which was only a 30 day ban), but because he had been rude to the mods when asking why. Screenshots show sandwich guy simply asking why he was banned and then apologizing for the chicken sandwich comment, only to be smugly told by the mod that he needs to “educate himself”, who also insinuates that he’s a weirdo and calls his comment shitty. Don’t miss this mod showing up in the comments of these screenshots and arguing with everyone else over them. So basically the whole thing was one innocuous comment about a chicken sandwich which quickly spiralled into a multi-sub meltdown that has lasted for about two days now. Chicken sandwich guy has not, as far as I know, been unbanned as of yet.