"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
NASA
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Cosmic Funnies
Monterey Bay Aquarium
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Sade Olutola
Claire Keane

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cherry valley forever
Game of Thrones Daily
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

blake kathryn

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let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
hello vonnie

⁂
d e v o n

JVL

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@capnsaltsmcgee
I'm playing through the Ace Attorney games for the first time and I think that Wright and Edgeworth should fuck nasty. Not for shipping reasons I just feel like it would fix them
I'm begging you two to at least angry-fuck before you end up in the middle of court with raging hate-boners
wear a different perfume when you commit murder fuckin amateurs
also wear shoes that aren’t your actual size and use gloves if you have to touch anything
what the hell is this here? A how-to-commit-the-perfect-crime??
Wear a wig. Contact lenses . Change your accent . Change Hand when writing . Layer up to make you look big if your small n vice versa . Contour the hell outta your face.
Get your car interior thoroughly washed, then purposely dirty it up again.
Also use an icicle for the weapon because it melts away Buy a ticket to a show and tell as many people / post it on social media that u went to the show
Y'all suspect af😂
*adds 363,462 more people to list of that I will fuck never with*
Make sure you set up a solid alibi Pay for everything in cash
Or, for those of you who’ve read Roald Dahl’s Lamb to the Slaughter, feed the murder weapon to the police
Bodies should be buried vertically, not horizontally, to avoid the appearance of a grave. If you choose to dismember the body instead of bury it whole don’t forget to take a lighter or bottle of lye to the fingertips until charred or melted away, and use bleach on every surface that may have come in contact with blood splatter.
Also, don’t fucking brag about it later Jesus wept.
all this info is good for writing
but for actual real life, no one on tumblr has enough energy to get out of bed
ain’t no body on this website is gonna murder anyone
Make friends with a pig farmer. A full grown nursing sow can eat an entire human body, bones and all, in about 6 hours.
Shit that last one is more helpful than I wanted it to be, I’ll never look at pigs the same
Reblogging for *educational* purposes :)
This post is legendary and I’m so glad I found it. I love all the advice. Except the icicle. That’s technically impossible. Use a disposable knife instead and break the handle.
use a glass knife with wooden handle for ultimate wounding. its gonna leave a severe fucking wound and u can burn the wood and melt down the glass if it doesnt shatter inside the victim.
Thomas what did i tell you about making suspiious posts?
I love learning.
IT’S ON MY DASH I REPEAT IT’S ON MY DASH.
ON MY DASH
WHAT THE FUCK IT’S ON MY DASH. ALSO JEVER TRUST ANYONE WITH MORE THEN 3 pigs
Always reblog
“Never trust anyone with more than 3 pigs” is the best thing I’ve ever read
on another note, I just remembered Roald Dahl wrote Lamb to the Slaughter (I read it in sophomore year)
Dummies.
Bury one (1) oyster in the yard for two weeks. Put it on the plate with a bunch of others, serve to victim.
There’s plenty of health risks when it comes to eating raw seafood- No one will bat an eye.
World Heritage Post
There are political newspaper comics that aren't this succinct
Always nice when math helps make it all the more clear how ridiculously reasonable the worker demands are.
This is what the studios have brought everything to a grinding halt for.
why is this so fucking funny
thank you kirby
Oh thank god for kirby
ty kirby
THE BANANAS ARE GAY
THESE BANANAS
THE BANANAS IN PAJAMAS ARE GAY
BELATED HAPPY PRIDE MONTH EVERYONE
The Daily Times, New Philadelphia, Ohio, July 9, 1924
whoever wrote this paper has the funniest phrasing possible
happy turtle bit off a cop’s toe in the hudson river day for those who celebrate
love that this caused so much controversy the thread needed to be locked. over chicken sandwich
gang this does not even scratch the surface
Someone posted a picture of a piece of chicken between two hamburger buns titled “Chicken Burger” to /r/food. Another user commented “Chicken Sandwich” on the post, and was slapped with a 30 day ban by the mods. When they responded to ask why, the mod said
“Correcting someone in public is public shaming, on top of being incorrect, it’s a pretty shitty comment to leave.”
So now /r/food is on lockdown after being spammed with posts titled “Chicken Sandwich” and other variations. The mod that handed the ban down pinned a post doubling down, comparing the situation to “Pride posts that always fill up with bigots” and “removing racists from posts featuring POC”, and including a link on “how to correctly, correct someone.”
because someone commented “Chicken Sandwich” on a post titled “Chicken Burger”.
Okay but this also does not scratch the surface either It all started when the sandwich guy posted about what happened to him on r/TIFU, which led to a lot of outrage including someone in the comments saying they were also banned from r/food just for saying they had diabetes (this was later confirmed by a mod). All this anger turned into a brigade which resulted in the entire sub being flooded with almost nothing but posts about Chicken Sandwiches, now known as burgergate. The mod who initially instituted the ban then went on to compare fending off spammers to defending the capitol building during the January 6 riot. You can see in the post that this made it into r/subredditdrama, a community which discusses ongoing drama across reddit. This particular thread in the screenshot is locked, an interesting detail for reasons that come into play later.
Someone else then goes and posts about burgergate on another sub, r/iamveryculinary , which is dedicated to making fun of food related snobbery and drama. This does not go over well, as it turns out that one of the mods of r/food is also a mod of r/iamveryculinary. This mod then proceeds to get slapfights in the comments, which notably includes her saying she would “rain fiery hell upon” anyone who posts chicken sandwiches in r/food, and complaining that she’s so focused on moderating burgergate that she has no time to spend with her kids. People then beg her to forget the chicken sandwich drama and take care of her children. I would love to give you some more details about this incident or tell you the other side, but I can’t since she deleted all the comments of the people she was arguing with so most of what we have left is just the things she herself said. Someone then goes on to post about the r/iamveryculinary drama on r/subredditdrama again. This post immediately gets deleted completely, because it turns out that the r/food mod who also moderates r/iamveryculinary also moderates r/subredditdrama. More people beg the mod to stop caring about the drama and spend time with her kids. The whole thing eventually gets posted to r/subredditdramadrama , a meta sub where people discuss drama that goes down in r/subredditdrama. Another post is then made to r/subredditdramadrama, where the sandwich guy who was initially banned posts his conversation with the mod that banned him. Up until this point, the original mod had been arguing that the permanent ban wasn’t because of the chicken sandwich comment (which was only a 30 day ban), but because he had been rude to the mods when asking why. Screenshots show sandwich guy simply asking why he was banned and then apologizing for the chicken sandwich comment, only to be smugly told by the mod that he needs to “educate himself”, who also insinuates that he’s a weirdo and calls his comment shitty. Don’t miss this mod showing up in the comments of these screenshots and arguing with everyone else over them. So basically the whole thing was one innocuous comment about a chicken sandwich which quickly spiralled into a multi-sub meltdown that has lasted for about two days now. Chicken sandwich guy has not, as far as I know, been unbanned as of yet.
All of us on Tumblr that never get on Reddit:
I hope hobie says this in the next film
This is why I always recommend having an emergency cheese. Mine is parmesan.
wonder woman out here still saving lives
ayo edebiri: the movie reviewer we deserve
lansia viva