The Dankest Of Memes @captain-fluffy-cat - Tumblr Blog

“average day on Tumblr includes 60 stabbings” factoid is actualy just a statistical error. average day on tumblr includes 0 stabbings. The Ides of March, which comes every March 15th and includes 23,000 stabbings of one guy is an outlier adn should not have been counted

pukicho

Is ignorance truly bliss? Because a lot of dumb fucking idiots are racist and angry ALL the time.

chocogummigoodness

I think it only applies to dogs and lizards

pukicho

Racism???

dogpuppy

boomer-mythology-destroyer

actuallyjuststealingmemes

pukicho

are you fat and rub your belly irl kinda guy or are you larp choid mustard kinda girl

Is there a third option

bogleech

Not only is JK rowling (along with Elon Musk) officially being sued by Khelif, Rowling hasn't tweeted once in almost a whole week since all this made headlines, which is APPARENTLY significant because six days is the longest she has ever shut the fuck up

pusheen

queenwhiskey

*cocks sub machine gun like its a shotgun*

queenwhiskey

moontouched-moogle

hunter-rodrigez

not to ruin the joke but that might be a Troy 223, which is a Pump-Action “assault looking” Rifle

happys-hall-of-horrible-things

THE SHADOW THE HEDGEHOG GUN IS REAL?!

anarcho-dykeism

they modeled a gun after shadow the hedgehog???

sonic-wildfire

solavei

today at work a coworker warned me that my patient’s owner let us know her cat is homophobic, meaning he tends to attack gay people violently on sight, which I thought was a joke. but that cat saw me and may have been the angriest cat I’ve ever worked with and DID in fact bite me through Kevlar gloves because he hated me so much

solavei

I want to emphasize that the cat was wearing a pride flag collar, which the owner gave him as exposure therapy

solavei

@butwhyduh I can confidently say this is not an issue that we’ve had before! He got a special sign made just for him.

Listen here kiddo

Pokemon Heritage Post

writing-prompt-s

What are some chronic illnesses that can only occur in a fantasy setting?

beleester

Partial transformation - mummy rot is slowly turning you to sand, a near miss from a medusa left you with partially stoned body parts, etc.

Hypnotic suggestions from being mind controlled persist after the controller’s death, causing the victim to occasionally take actions to support the cause of a mind flayer cult that no longer exists.

Repeated demonic possession has left the patient with permanent gaps in their soul’s defenses, causing them to immediately get re-possessed if they go outside a consecrated area.

Post-resurrection trauma as the revived soul remembers an unpleasant afterlife.

Magical healing can get very weird if something is stuck in the wound. It’ll get you back on your feet, but you can get outcomes like “there’s a chunk of wood fused into your chest because the magic couldn’t figure out how to get the arrow out of your chest and just healed it in place,” and this can cause mobility issues or infection vectors down the line.

ihasafandom

SHealth tied to something else - the health of a tree, the amount of frost on the ground, the inverse of another person’s, the political power of whoever cursed you

Curse of bad luck - makes any small illness or injury potentially fatal if not treated with anti-curse in addition to anti-infection procedures

Magical reliance on a magical or nonmagical substance - can have any number of side effects

Repeatedly being drunk by vampires can cause an increase in blood production and therefore high blood pressure and related ailments. Can be treated by blood letting.

There’s a lot of hybridization happening in a lot of fantasy settings, and that’s just asking for a lot of people with weird half-dragon genetic disorders. Works out fine for some people, not so much for others.

Parasitized by (insert creature here). If you don’t take the correct precautions to keep it dormant it will continue to spread and eventually hatch out/transform you.

Repeated contact with the undead has left you open to their influence - leading to hearing or seeing things that other mortals can’t, which can distort or distract from more mundane concerns.

Alternately to being more vulnerable to intrusion, one’s soul can form a scar that makes helpful magic more difficult to take in.

Sleep disorders that make one fall into an impenetrable sleep at a specific trigger, or to do so for years at a time.

Out of phase with 4D space, one’s body not connected to itself or anchored in place/time in the usual way. There could be a consistent two hour gap between the things you hear and what has happened, you might clip into the floor as if it was in a different place for you, or you might slide through the material plane in cross section.

Intermittent intangibility.

Split into two people, each with only half your traits.

Stuck in a mirror.

ihasafandom

Sensitivity to ambient magic - like the thing where peoples’ joints ache before a storm but for being near ley lines or people with a lot of magic built up or other magic reservoirs. - The potential for magic, but where the magic has not yet begun.

knives-in-the-dishwater

Heal spell dependency: years of repeated serious injuries being healed by magic causes the body to stop healing naturally. seen often in professional fighters and those with a long career in hazardous occupations.

the forgotten dread: memory modification magic has caused the subject’s conscious mind to forget some past trauma, but their subconscious still remembers, causing them emotions that they cannot explain or justify ranging from mild discomfort to blind panic when presented with triggers related to the aforementioned trauma. often encountered in cases where the subject has paid an unscrupulous mage to make them forget their past as an ill-advised alternative to therapy.

Psychically Transmitted Memories: the subject’s mind has been linked to another person’s and, although the bond has since been severed, they have retained memories or thought patterns from the other person that are difficult to distinguish from their own.

Negative Life Syndrome (previously “False Life Syndrome”): seen most often in cases when the subject is exposed to dark magic while in the womb, Negative Life Syndrome leaves the subject’s life energies tainted by undeath without making them truly undead. common symptoms include intolerance of radiant magic, aversion to sunlight, and the inability to set foot on hallowed ground; rare symptoms include healing from negative energies, sudden necrosis, and the desire to eat flesh or drink blood of living beings.

lycanthropy

Early Life Possessions: the subject was possessed by a spirit or demon during early childhood or infancy, and the possessing presence was in control of them when they learned important milestones, such as how to walk or speak. The subject is now dependant upon the possessing presence to help them perform these tasks or, in cases where the presence has since been exorcised, performs the relevant tasks at a level appropriate for an infant or small child.

kiragecko

Body requires nutrients not found in human food, and you must eat rocks, or gems, or some other alternative. You may or may not have the ability to actually digest these without magical assistance

Awareness of too many dimensions makes it difficult to interact with just this one - either to keep track of conversations, or walk to specific locations without ending up on another planet instead

Telekinetic psychosis - delusions tend to physically affect those around you (but HIGH chance for ableism in this one!)

you have flare-ups where your skin tends to slough off and be replaced by some other substance

After sharing life energy with a dying loved one, you’re now both trying to survive off one person’s supply. Like chronic fatigue, but if your loved one gets too big of a bruise you won’t have the energy to get up until it heals

living in reverse

stuck at a certain age

supersenses lead to constant overstimulation

you’re a changeling, and if you don’t have someone who loves you close by, you’ll turn back into sticks and mud

cheeto-flavoured-pasta

You will not use AI to get ideas for your story. You will lie on the floor and have wretched visions like god intended

prophetic-writer

"How do you write such realistic dialogue-" I TALK TO MYSELF. I TALK TO MYSELF AND I PRETEND I AM THE ONE SAYING THE LINE. LIKE SANITY IS SLOWLY SLIPPING FROM BETWEEN MY FINGERS WITH EVERY MEASLY WORD THEY TYPE OUT. THAT IS HOW.