How to insult everyone in a traffic jam
Cosimo Galluzzi
noise dept.
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
Misplaced Lens Cap
will byers stan first human second
DEAR READER

ellievsbear
$LAYYYTER

Love Begins
Cosmic Funnies
Three Goblin Art

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@theartofmadeline
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸

izzy's playlists!

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Andulka
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@captsirknight
How to insult everyone in a traffic jam
A master to his action-hero trainee says, "Your movements are sloppy. You lack awareness of your body when you fight. Your hands move and yet you do not hold them in your mind's eye. Come. We will remedy this."
And then the master paints his trainee's fingernails and orders the trainee to complete a series of complicated tasks without smudging the nail polish.
Trainee grumbles that this is stupid when the first set of tasks is just cleaning the dojo. Within two minutes he reaches for the dustpan and knocks the edge of his pinky nail against it in a way he's never noticed before. He's staring at the baby blue smudge and suddenly he understands things differently.
There's a montage of days passing as he fetches water, chops wood, hoes crops, washes clothes. His nails are a different color during each cut. He's sprinting up the mountain with a fresh wet pedicure and the master is nodding in approval. The master's nails are flawless tech art.
He's reached his final assessment and it's a sparing match against his master. The air smells of acetone. His and the master's nails are all freshly painted. He must land a blow on the master with his mani and pedi fully intact.
Suns and moons pass. Streak in the ring finger. Smudge on the pinky. A full-handed block at the cost of three nails of paint. A hit on his master, and he hoots in delight until the master points out the unguarded toe whose polish is now streaked across the master's robe.
Days pass in frustration and exhaustion. By day 40, he has every digit of his acutely in his mind's eye. He senses the master's attack, ducks, dodges, all fingers all toes all himself, aware, and he strikes with his wooden sword.
It connects with the master. The master pauses. The trainee raises his left hand into view--5 digits of flawless sunflower yellow. His left foot. His right foot. And finally his right hand, raised in triumph.
The master smiles. "You have passed. I have just one more technique to teach you."
The technique is how to draw little flowers into the nail art. So really this one is optional.
These posts contain 146 horses (49.1% of the post)
🍎 @phantomrose96
A master to his action-hero trainee says, "Your movements are sloppy. You lack awareness of your body when you fight. Your hands move and yet you do not hold them in your mind's eye. Come. We will remedy this."
And then the master paints his trainee's fingernails and orders the trainee to complete a series of complicated tasks without smudging the nail polish.
🍎 @phantomrose96
Trainee grumbles that this is stupid when the first set of tasks is just cleaning the dojo. Within two minutes he reaches for the dustpan and knocks the edge of his pinky nail against it in a way he's never noticed before. He's staring at the baby blue smudge and suddenly he understands things differently.
🍎 @phantomrose96
There's a montage of days passing as he fetches water, chops wood, hoes crops, washes clothes. His nails are a different color during each cut. He's sprinting up the mountain with a fresh wet pedicure and the master is nodding in approval. The master's nails are flawless tech art.
🍎 @phantomrose96
He's reached his final assessment and it's a sparing match against his master. The air smells of acetone. His and the master's nails are all freshly painted. He must land a blow on the master with his mani and pedi fully intact.
Suns and moons pass. Streak in the ring finger. Smudge on the pinky. A full-handed block at the cost of three nails of paint. A hit on his master, and he hoots in delight until the master points out the unguarded toe whose polish is now streaked across the master's robe.
Days pass in frustration and exhaustion. By day 40, he has every digit of his acutely in his mind's eye. He senses the master's attack, ducks, dodges, all fingers all toes all himself, aware, and he strikes with his wooden sword.
It connects with the master. The master pauses. The trainee raises his left hand into view--5 digits of flawless sunflower yellow. His left foot. His right foot. And finally his right hand, raised in triumph.
The master smiles. "You have passed. I have just one more technique to teach you."
The technique is how to draw little flowers into the nail art. So really this one is optional.
Posts are selected by humans, processed automatically and queued to post. Click the link for more information about each horse. You can send a link or text to be counted to my ask box.
oh my god........................ the hornses.......... 🐴
apparently its yugi’s birthday today. happy pride month king
Be yourself so ppl looking for u can find u
Pokémon Legends: Arceus (2022) - Commemorative Artwork Illustrator: HYOGONOSUKE
There’s a college in my city that has a rumor that there’s a secret basement below the known basement that can only be accessed via some hidden stairs scattered around the school or by pressing a secret number sequence in some of the elevators. The staff at the school are super annoyed by this and have no idea where this rumor started.
But I know. I think it was me.
In my defense I never intended to start a rumor. Many years ago I worked as a cleaner at the school and one evening I had to transport one of those big floor washing machines from the basement to the second level via the elevator. When the doors opened a very confused looking man stood inside. He was one of those slicked back gym-bro IT guys and made no movement to get out. The elevator wouldn’t fit him, me and the machine so I asked “Where are you going? Up or down?”
He gave me a smug shit-eating grin and said “Down?” in a mocking tone.
It took me a second to realize that of course he wasn’t going down, we were in the basement, but his look and tone annoyed me so much I refused to admit I misspoke and instead said “Yeah, down. I don’t know if you’re going to the second basement”
His smile disappeared “There’s a second basement?”
“Yeah but it sounds like you don’t have access to it so I guess you’re going up? I’ll just wait”
I never thought of it as anything other than a funny story to tell about that time I got so annoyed with a guy that I invented an entire second basement, but it turns out he probably refused to believe a cleaner fooled him and the story spread.
june has arrived
Was curious how far Ithaca was from troy today while listening to epic the musical and rereading the illiad and I found this map
I think odysseus would have been better just to walk😭
Knight Lineages / Professions +
Cropped version for those who want to see it better
Biggest fuck-up ever is that people have to pay to become doctors
Like unironically we should be subsidising at least 50% of their educations. What do you mean we have a shortage of doctors we should have surplus. What do you mean they’re being overworked they should be treated like royalty, they can fix human bodies
I don’t care if some of them are only doing it for the money. I don’t care if all of them are only doing it for the money. Intentions don’t matter to the stitches in my nana’s leg or the ten billion other lifesaving treatments we all get at a detriment to their finances and mental wellbeing. Entire cities are kept alive by just a couple thousand of them what are we DOINGGGGG
Happy (Belated) Birthday to @crazylittlejester
THE GUY!! thank you so much :3
Have seen a whole lot of this talked about but I've been playing a lot of Hyrule Warriors lately and it got me thinking about the short amount of time Warriors was on skyloft. Just like his own soldiers and everyone else in the War, Warriors probably spent a lot of time with the current knights of Skyloft. He probably got really close to some of them too while he was there.
And ya know who was probably one of those knights?
Sky's dad
Cue my new headcannon that Warriors actually knew Sky's dad from the war. And after it's all over, PapaSky goes back home to his pregnant wife, deciding to name his child after the Hero he just fought alongside in hopes that his kid will grow up to be just as kind and courageous as that Captain.
(or the tragic route in which PapaSky dies in battle and Warriors has to be the one to tell his pregnant wife the news. Eitherway, Sky is named after Warriors and no one knows)
well now I'm obsessed!
imagine the boys end up in Skyview village at some point in their adventure, and yeah, of course, it's cool and the younger ones are exploring (and dragging around Legend) and the older ones are kinda just looking around because this isn't THAT far in their past
And then someone stops them, calls out "Captain Link?" and it's just some skyloftian knight who's since retired, who's settled down now that they've come to the surface and who maybe Sky grew up around, knowing the guy worked with his dad
And of course Warriors responds, because he's a soldier and anyone addressing him by rank usually means he ought to respond. It take a second, of course it does, because the man's twenty-some-odd years older than he was, but then it clicks and Warriors' face is breaking into a smile and he calls the man by name, greet him, asks how he's doing?
And before they know it, all the old guard is gathered around, some with their own kids, some with grandchildren, all wanting them to meet the man who led them in combat against a demon and a dragon all those years ago, who became their captain too, if only for a while, because Skyloft wasn't prepared for war at the time.
There's questions, wonder too; how is he still so young? Did the war end? Who won? What brings him back here? And on it goes.
And Wars is thrilled. Sure, yes, this era was arguably one of the more traumatizing ones he went to, the first time he realized his own men could and would turn on him, but the knights of Skyloft never did, and there's a comradely between them that he didn't get in his own era, in a world where he's Helen of Troy rather than the Achilles that the Skyloftians see him as. So yeah, he's loosening up and bateringa ND answering questions
And then it comes up.
That one fallen soldier, the guy Warriors couldn't save, the one who he personally sought out the family of because he knew in his heart of hearts that he had to do it. How's the guy's wife? She was expecting, right? What became of the kid, how's he getting along?
And thats when one of them notices Sky standing there wit the rest of the heroes, maybe grabs him and tugs him over- he's an old student to many of them, and again, he grew up around them, so no one thinks anything of it. except then they're crowing about how "she named him after you, Cap! And he's the hero now, saved the goddess and everything!" And they've got stories, do they ever have stories! They're eager to share the work of their own hero with the one who fought beside them and saved them all those years ago.
And all the while, Sky and Wars are just sort of staring at each other, realization sinking in that Wars knew Sky's dad, a man that the chosen hero never met. They were friends even, brothers in arms maybe.
And Sky is named after Wars.
Sky wouldn't be alive today if Wars and his soldiers hadn't arrived on Skyloft when they did to fight of Ghirahim and Volga before the islands could be destroyed.
Neither says anything about it, not then, but there's a sort of wonder stirring up inside them every time they think about it, every time they realize how much of an impact their lives have directly had on one another, and how, in a crazy twist of fate, neither one of them would exist without the other.
It's a powerful sort of thing to think about, really.
This is exactly what I was thinking!!
I can just imagine the conversation they would have later on. Cause ya, Sky knew Warriors had been to his era before and deep down he knew logically that he might have mingled with people that he had grown up with. The same people that had raised him after both his parents had passed on. The same people that for some people or another could never bring themselves to talk about his parents. Not with him anyway.
But Warriors knew his Dad too?
The name thing is...its messing with Sky's head. Time travel is complicated enough and he's giving himself a headache trying to process that aspect of it. So instead, he asks "What was he like"?
And suddenly it's the dead of night, Warriors is answered as many questions as he possibly can about his Dad. What he was like, the way Sky looks so much like him now that he thinks about it, but his knack for sleeping every and anywhere definitely comes from his mom.
But then he asks about how his dad died, and Warriors can't seem to find the words.
Cause it's his fault.
Sky isn't named after a hero, he's named after the person who got his father killed.
Lesbian knights ⚔️ - Prints
Was messing around with different ways of coloring and somehow ended up drawing Tim from "The Drakes Spoiled Brat (im sorry dad)" by Yellow_prouts
(With Whisp vibing in the corner ofc)
Faces are complicated i am struggling TvT
The authors tumblr is @batfambrainrotbeloved
I will have you know the chaos when I saw this- I accidently threw my phone, hit my cats toy, which then activated and started playing disco music and throwing its arms everywhere- and trying to grab my phone while battling string arms and cat claws was worth it for this masterpiece
The LIGHTING?? And oh my god the color choices from the soft periwinkle/baby blue to vivid red contrasting- and "I struggle with faces :(" Bitch you are lying to my face LOOK AT THAT?? And the contrast with the EYES- not to mention the actual red- the half mask perfection or the strings like "strings of fate" or detective clue board strings
AND BEST OF ALL- LIL WISP LOOMING IN THE SHADOWS LIKE SHE SHOULD
Purse dog...
Putting this here too I guess lmao
Thank you fern for sending that pose ref ✊😔
208 SPOILERS