[cannibalchicken]

[seventhpaw]

[caramellcreme]

[softgrlfriend]

that’s enough emotions for a whole year. ciao

[insertchaoticenbyname]

The earlier in the year you reblog this the better it gets

[thenatsdorf]

Black cats are lucky. (via leahweissmuller)

[immaplatypus]

MAN [IN THICK ACCENT]: Black cat bring good luck.  Not bad luck.  I have black cat - See, him face - And I am not dead today: Good luck!

[official-mugi]

“See him face”

I sure fucking do see him face

[just-things-i-enjoy]

Him face

[luccorvus]

Reblog him face for good luck in 2021

[catsbeaversandducks]

Reblog him face for good luck in 2021 (2)

[bakarilennox]

Reblog him face for good luck in 2022

[pluralwizard]

Reblog him face for good luck in 2023

[erindizmo]

Reblog him face for good luck in 2024

[thedoorthatopensonitsown]

Reblog him face for good luck in 2025

[flootzavut]

Reblog him face for good luck in 2026

[reallyreallyreallytrying]

“average person eats 3 spiders a year” factoid actualy just statistical error. average person eats 0 spiders per year. Spiders Georg, who lives in cave & eats over 10,000 each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted

[laerugo]

#tapping the reblog button with utmost care because i’m handling a historical artifact (via @malarkiness)

[mortimermcmirestinks]

holy shit OP is not only still active but is still making absolutely banger posts in this exact style 11 years later

[ittybittytatertot]

Every day my joints are shocked and disgusted that I would use them for their intended purpose.

[infectiouspiss]

they should invent joints that don’t hurt

[infectiouspiss]

[inber]

Writing period dramas in the discord, lads

[elodieunderglass]

@inber you have tapped a deep vein here

[aubrey-plaza]

[ariminiria]

I CAN’T BREATHE

[mystic-merc]

You also locked me out of the fecking car

[shadeslayer]

its so fucked that not only did they erase our languages and beat and kill our people for using them but they stole the words of important tribes and important people and used them for the military and for trees and for food and for summer camps. average native american name is seen by non ntvs as a joke or something to use or consume, not a human being

[shadeslayer]

i like that ppl r thinking abt town names and things thats very good to be aware of but just to be clear this is actually specifically about other things actually, the things everyone but those looking up their nation forget about

sequoyah was the man who created the tsalagi syllabary before it was ever a tree

if i try to look for apparel or crafts to show off my chickasaw pride, i get results for chickasaw plums which is just a specific species of plum before i get results about human beings

others have mentioned if they google their nations name they get boot companies before their nations website!

theres a tweet that still haunts me that was about a Quirky Quasi American Restaurant in europe or somewhere that was being funny by being cowboy themed and their steaks were named after native american nations. even outside the usa we are nothing but literal dead meat for others consumption

"blackhawk" "apache" - fuck theres a whole wikipedia page for the way weve had our names used for weapons used to colonize and kill us and others!

yes talk about town and location names but you need to look farther than that. it gets so much worse, i promise

[wackom]

Bothering the beast

[kleefkruid]

My cats have this meow that means "please come with me to fix this" after which they'll lead me to the problem in question, usually a empty (or 'empty') food bowl or a closed door they want open. They look at the 'problem', they look back at me, clear message.

What fascinates me is how this illustrates what they percieve as being in the realm of my 'power.' I control the food, I control the door, sure, but my cats love to sit on the balcony in the sun, and it has happened plenty of times that on a rainy day they come get me, go to the balcony and show me... the rain. "Please fix this" they say. "Please get rid of the wet"

"Silly kitty," I say, "I can't control the rain." I then walk into the shower and turn on the rain.

[adverbian]

My cat absolutely does this. What’s more, she has learned that she can demand that one human fix the behavior of another human.

I was in the bathroom one day. The door was closed, which is of course a Crime Against Felinity. The cat had been complaining about this for several minutes. I told her I would be out in a few.

I then heard the “follow me” meow from down the hall, and my husband saying “what?”

The next thing I heard was my husband’s voice at the bathroom door. “The cat just led me right here, and now she’s looking at me like, ‘Here. You talk to her. She seems to listen to you.’”

Yes. My cat has learned to speak to the manager.

[beaft]

my cat hates taking his pills. the only way we can get him to eat them is to turn it into an elaborate pantomime - we take the packet out of the cupboard slowly and hold it up, saying “oh!! what’s this? what’s this? a TREAT? a TREAT for louis????” while making surprised faces. we offer him a pill… then, before he has a chance to sniff it, we wag our fingers at him and replace it in the packet so it becomes a Tantalising Forbidden Mystery. we continue doing this until he’s so confused and excited that he will eat the pill as fast as possible, just so he can find out what it is before we can take it away from him again. as soon as he’s eaten it he looks utterly disappointed and betrayed, like a child who just ate a delicious sweet only to find it was a chocolate-coated brussels sprout. it never gets old

[autumngracy]

Op this is the funniest thing I’ve ever read

[fucktheflagandfuckyou]

op how could you just hide this from me in the tag this makes this objectively 10000000% funnier

[stalling]

50 First Doses

[skyline-sunset-in-my-veins]

You trick Louis? You trick Louis like a common fool? Oh jail, jail for owners ONE MILLION YE-oh what’s this? A treat?

[homunculus-argument]

Another worldbuilding application of the "two layer rule": To create a culture while avoiding The Planet Of Hats (the thing where a people only have one thing going for them, like "everyone wears a silly hat"): You only need two hats.

Try picking two random flat culture ideas and combine them, see how they interact. Let's say taking the Proud Warrior Race - people who are all about glory in battle and feats of strength, whose songs and ballads are about heroes in battle and whose education consists of combat and military tactics. Throw in another element: Living in diaspora. Suddenly you've got a whole more interesting dynamic going on - how did a people like this end up cast out of their old native land? How do they feel about it? How do they make a living now - as guards, mercenaries? How do their non-combatants live? Were they always warrior people, or did they become fighters out of necessity to fend for themselves in the lands of strangers? How do the peoples of these lands regard them?

Like I'm not shitting, it's literally that easy. You can avoid writing an one-dimensional culture just by adding another equally flat element, and the third dimension appears on its own just like that. And while one of the features can be location/climate, you can also combine two of those with each other.

Let's take a pretty standard Fantasy Race Biome: The forest people. Their job is the forest. They live there, hunt there, forage there, they have an obnoxious amount of sayings that somehow refer to trees, woods, or forests. Very high chance of being elves. And then a second common stock Fantasy Biome People: The Grim Cold North. Everything is bleak and grim up there. People are hardy and harsh, "frostbite because the climate hates you" and "being stabbed because your neighbour hates you" are the most common causes of death. People are either completely humourless or have a horrifyingly dark, morbid sense of humour. They might find it funny that you genuinely can't tell which one.

Now combine them: Grim Cold Bleak Forest People. The summer lasts about 15 minutes and these people know every single type of berry, mushroom and herb that's edible in any fathomable way. You're not sure if they're joking about occasionally resorting to eating tree bark to survive the long dark winter. Not a warrior people, but very skilled in disappearing into the forest and picking off would-be invaders one by one. Once they fuck off into the woods you won't find them unless they want to be found.

You know, Finland.

[hollyoakhill]

do you ever think about how little Michelangelo cared

[dandraco]

All right, everyone, grab a chair and sit back because I’m going to share with you what I learned about Michelangelo and the Sistine Chapel in my Art History Class.

The man NEVER wanted to paint the damn thing. But the pope at the time “forced him to” According to my teacher. Michelangelo hated this man, I MEAN REALLY HATED HIM. So did a majority of people. The pope’s nickname translated literally means “Terrible pope”.

And the working conditions were awful. He had to work on his back with all that paint, which is filled with some toxic shit that gave Michelangelo a limp for the rest of his life. (Also, our teacher made us get on our backs and try drawing with both hands JUST to prove how bad and uncomfortable it is.)

At the time, the ceiling was so high, you could barely see it. You need binoculars to get a good look at what’s up there, by the time people could see the paintings, there was a lot of weird symbolism that Michelangelo hid up there.

This one? The creation of the sun and moon? God is mooning you. And the pope and all others after him prayed under that without knowing.

This one? At the time, dissecting was sacrilegious and everyone found out how behind God was what looked like half a brain. blah blah, science, science, that pissed everyone off.

And also, ALLLLLLL the men and women in the Sistine Chapel are all on fucking steroids. My teacher described the women’s bodies as “Men bodies with boobs slapped on.”

And then there is this:

Now this is the back wall. Michelangelo actually wanted to paint this one after he finished the ceiling. (and there was a different pope too, I believe.) However, originally, EVERYONE in that painting was naked. And they didn’t like it. Adam and Eve naked? That’s cool. But Jesus? Now you crossed the line. So the pope at the time hired someone else to censor it and give the important figures clothes. He worked on it for 6 or 9 months before he died.

And then the symbolism in this one is great. Somewhere in the right, there are homosexuals in heaven. (No matter what, the Vatican will say “Those straight men are happy” I’ll get to that in a second), Michelangelo painted himself near Jesus, and the terrible pope is in hell with a snake biting his balls.

And if you were to point ANY of this out to the Vatican, they will deny all of it and claim Michelangelo was a catholic hero. In fact, when they discovered the symbolism around the 60s or 70s, the guy who told the Vatican was kicked out of the Vatican for life.

TL;DR: Michelangelo hated the pope and made the best “fuck you” of all time.

[frontmansdefender]

[everythingfox]

Hiking partner

(via)

[fuckyeahdavidandyonatan]

Its so sad there isnt a jorking it equivilent for food

[fuckyeahdavidandyonatan]

Like when youre horny but you have no one to sleep with you can just jork it. I can't do anything if I want sushi

[oddbookreport]