the first time Esme was triggered by something Carlisle did in bed?
It was the third night of their honeymoon.
It had been everything they wanted and more. The fears and apprehension seemed silly after hours and hours of careful, loving exploration.
The world around them faded away as they fell more and more in love with one another in their cabin located deep in the Alaskan wilderness.
Esme giggled at him, wrapping her legs around his bare hips and tugging him to her. Her newborn strength that had yet to completely fade had him tumbling onto the bed.
She smiled up at him, watching as he settled over her. His hands pressed into the pillows on either side of her head as he leaned down to kiss along her jaw.
She tightened her legs and lifted her lower body up toward his until she could feel him against her.
They each let out a soft sigh, Carlisle’s mouth moving over the scar on her neck.
When she tugged him even closer, Carlisle stumbled just a bit but caught himself. When he did so, his hand’s pressed onto her hair on the pillow, pulling the strands.
It didn’t hurt- it was impossible for something like that to hurt her now. That didn’t stop the painful memories, though. The feel of her hair being pulled triggered violent memories of Charles dragging her by her hair, him using it to guide her where he wanted her.
“Stop!” Esme choked out, squeezing her eyes shut and pushing at Carlisle’s chest. “Stop, stop- please!”
Carlisle was off of her in less than a second.
A dry sob escaped her as she sat up, burying her face in her palms. She knew it was impossible but it felt as though her heart was racing, as if she couldn’t breathe.
Carlisle stood painfully still on the other side of the room. The sight of her so afraid, the sound of her sobs, knowing that he caused it- it was too much.
“Carlisle,” She murmured, his name coming out in what sounded like a whimper. “I’m sorry.”
He rushed to her side. “You have nothing to apologize for, love.”
“I’m sorry.” She choked out again. “I just- I’m sorry.”
Carlisle carefully took her hair, pressing a kiss against her knuckles. “Everything’s okay.”
Esme used her free hand to wipe at her nonexistent tears. “I don’t want to mess this us.”
“You could never, my love.”
She was quiet, dropping his hand and pulling the soft comforter up around her naked body.
Esme looked up and met his eyes, hesitating a moment before nodding. She expected him to crawl back into bed with her, to start their lovemaking over but was instead surprised by Carlisle lifting her into his arms.
The next thing she knew, they were cuddled up on the sofa near the fireplace. He pressed a kiss against her shoulder as the two of them faced the open window.
“It’s snowing.” He murmured. “You love the snow.”
She smiled softly, relaxing against him as she watched the snowflakes fall.
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