cas

20 - they/them

[godbastian-deactivated20201108]

pictures from the area 51 raid are honestly poetic cinema and we should all be happy that we are witnessing such a historic moment

[hyrude]

you fuckinng dumbasses are wearing glasses during sex?

am i expected to find the g spot by echolocation? 

[newtgeiszler]

you looking inside the pussy with your eyes? you crawling in there like antman?

[cctinsleybaxter]

WHAT is wheat jesus pleasE

:-)

wheat jesus is a privately owned billboard in Colby, Kansas. We used to drive past it every summer when I was a kid and there’s no explanation other than this is America.

[rararasputinloveroftherussi]

wheres his mcdonalds

[cctinsleybaxter]

This is the funniest possible comment on this post

And this is the funniest possible tag

[neonmanatee]

this one time I ran a red light on mistake and I didn’t notice it was red until it was too late so I just ran the light screeching like an angry pterodactyl the entire time

a cop was at the intersection so he pulled me over and when he came up to my window he was wheezing cause he was laughing so hard and he said

“ok so i know you ran a red light and that’s really bad and you should never do it again but i’m not gonna give you a ticket cause that was the funniest thing i’ve ever seen and my partner can’t get out of the car cause he’s laughing so hard he’s about to pee himself”

i forgot that i’d had my window open when i ran the red light and the cop told me that all he heard from my car was this really high-pitched “screeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEAAAHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhh”

and that’s how i got out of getting a ticket for running a red light

[khe1]

looking for an expert on babys out there

[mikkeumera-deactivated20210802]

im a baby myself… what do u need

[khe1]

hey

[khe1]

what are your weaknesses

[iamlittleamz]

No titty milk, diaper rash and shark lasers

[onegianthand]

New York Zoo

[badjokesbyjeff]

The Lion King ripped off Kimba

[badjokesbyjeff]

The disgusting thing is that Disney advertised The Lion King as ‘unique,’ and ‘an extraordinary original story.’

The Lion King went into production the same year,  Osamu Tezuka, the creator of Kimba, passed away!

Tezuka productions didn’t have the funds to file a lawsuit.

“We’re a small, weak company. It wouldn’t be worth it anyway … Dinsey’s lawyers are among the top twenty in the world!“ - Yoshihiro Shimizu, Tezuka Productions.

[theawkwardqueerturtle]

the disney company is absolutely disgusting and a prime example of how capitalism is corrupt

[perks-of-being-chinese]

[powerfulwizard]

high school teachers: if you don’t show up with a dress and full makeup or a fitted tuxedo to class everyday to college your professors will execute you

college professors: 

[celebrity-pharmacist]

I once had a professor SLAM a thermos down on his desk and say to us “there’s more pressure in my sinuses right now than there is at the bottom of the sea. This thing’s full of NyQuil. I’m going to drink it while I teach, and when your heads are replaced by swirling rainbows, I will cancel the rest of class.” The class ended up being 17 minutes long.

[writersarea]

Your professor was trying to fight God

[besweetbyjapanesebreakfast]

today i hung out w my 15 y/o brothers girlfriend and i jokingly was like “tell me embarrassing stuff about him” and she was like “ok. he has a piss kink” and was 100% serious and i almost crashed the fucking car

[catchymemes]

[prsephonies-deactivated20200815]

im too much of a baby for tinder i wanna meet people the old fashioned way where we’re both on either side of a fish tank and notice each other thru the water… 

[cosmicrew]

me

[wizardnaturalist]

When you get a random spike of intense pain that fades away after a few seconds

[wahtdahel-blog]

Such an inspiration.

[itshardtoactnormal-blog]

[autumnslesbian]

[what-even-is-thiss]

[skepticalqueen]

This is wildly accurate.

[images-that-are-only-cursed]

Cursed school presentations? Thank you!

I hate presentations 😂but who doesn’t?

[images-that-are-only-cursed]

[blu3-skyy]

[w0wls]

That shrek one is threatening

[chuck-e-cheese-anime-faces]

How’d y'all leave out this one?

[peter-my-parkers]

[isspeeedyy]

[orchidvioletindigo]

Brothers in arms