a.h.h.

britain's number one suspect for murder and unrelated orphanage arson

[celestiasra]

greek god spotify playlists

zeus

hades

poseidon

ares

hestia

hephaestus

demeter

tyche

athena

dionysus

artemis

apollo

peresphone

aphrodite

hermes

hera

follow my spotify for other playlists too

[swaglexander-the-great]

Pictures I have of Gordon Ramsay lurking ominously, from my very specific Ominous Gordon folder

[weepingchoir]

having to internalize the gender binary again so I can learn a new Romance language

[weepingchoir]

Mfw the Duolingo owl reminds me carrots are female

[c3rvida3]

Every time my roommate open mouth coughs loud as hell and doesn't cover it, I fantasize about getting diagnosed with a terminal illness and, because I am so handsome, the Make-A-Wish program makes an exception and lets me have a wish even though I'm 29, and I use my wish to have a horse fucking kick her in the head, and then it turns out that there was a mix-up at the hospital with my paperwork and I actually don't even have a terminal illness. They made a mistake. What they meant to say was I have a beautiful singing voice and a fat ass and a heart of gold.

[c3rvida3]

I moved 750 miles away. She can't hurt me anymore.

[stumbling-buzz]

[humphul-deactivated20241215]

funny story i know this guy who at the adventurous age of 12 and fruitfully in more ways than one tried sucking his own dick until he at a terminal moment got a sudden sharp and excruciating pain in his back that caused him to flop violently horizontal on his bed and conclude that he couldn't move. he then spent the next half an hour crying about his impending lifetime of quadraplegia and trying to concoct a plausible story for how he broke his back naked in bed and covered in cum. then i calmed down and realized i could in fact move

[humphul-deactivated20241215]

i mean he

[another-one-bites-the-chipaguasu]

[unpretty]

there was a chicken loose on the golf course so they just. brought it in. to the office.

[unpretty]

you can't argue with her work ethic

[godstiel]

(flight intercom) this is the pilot speaking. yeah we expect todays flight to be normal. um if you look out your window you shouldnt see the skull

[evilwizard]

(wizard intercom) good evening passengers. this is the wizard speaking. boy do i have a treat for you

[grelliam]

Visit Original Link

Posts that make you drop everything you're doing and open Audacity

[kaijuno]

This is what happens when you date men they con you into playing Diplomacy

[kaijuno]

Mittens won Diplomacy

[partlysmith]

"Funny you should say that, Mr. Frog, but those coffee grounds we found at the murder... Well, they were Wilkins Coffee. Now see, the thing that bothers me, is that the victim... Well, he didn't drink Wilkins."

[guooey]

Uni's magical Mario Galaxy adventure..

[were--ralph]

this genuinely made me so happy

[catasters]

[drtanner]

Teaching the baby ADVANCED TECHNIQUES

[notsoheadless]

[hotdrinks]

I wish I could make cats understand the concept of fairness. Of hypocrisy. I wish next time Beatrice was eating I could stick my hand in her bowl and dig around and say "see? Not very nice is it?" And she would say "I understand now father you're right". But instead? Big fat paw in my soup

[classycookiexo]

[capricorn-born]

Oddly specific. Got a deposit for 6,837 today

[weaselle]

fuck it, i never ever do those “reblog for X, this one really works!” posts, but this one doesn’t have any of that BS, this is just straight up wishing us good things; and then the comment doesn’t even say any of that either. Zero claims on this post, all positive vibes

May you end this week feeling ever more certain of a future you’ll love

[vmohlere]

May you end this week feeling ever more certain of a future you’ll love

[rainey-day-whispers]

He lived. He served cunt. He got shot by a child. He died. He served cunt again

[puppetsexchange]

autistic mfrs when the new puppet history episode is on something they're obsessed with

[the-guy-who-asked-333-deactivat]

[ismellpestilence]

Shane leaving the studio after delivering the lamp and refusing to help Ryan escape.