Mysterious Sea Creature

Adult||he/him||autistic system||shitposts and memes ✨a.k.a. chaoticrodent, NebulousKale✨

[phlebasthebroenician]

[were--ralph]

Splatoon but its werewolves

[were--ralph]

They uhhhhhhhh spray cum idk. Whatever.

[were--ralph]

I can make the same joke 100 times and you will all enjoy it.

[the-haiku-bot]

I can make the same

joke 100 times and you

will all enjoy it.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[were--ralph]

One of these days yall will see me and haiku-bot fuckin tbh

[were--ralph]

i feel like a lot of people dislike my vibe but they just don't understand my vibe

[were--ralph]

my vibe isn't really "be horny and annoying" its more like "dude just be yourself unapologetically " and however that manifests for you

[were--ralph]

like i could just post the same thing everyone else does and be another plain blogger no one pays attention to, but who wants to do that when i can say shit like "she had an AMD Cock and he had an Intel Pussy" and no one knows what it means but it does make you stop and go "huh" for a moment before forgetting about it entirely but that split second is why im here

[disgustinggf]

you aren't gonna believe who is getting laid soon, read the first two words <3

[beargirl2-deactivated20240116]

[darkestcinema]

renaissance in the 21st century

[blogitalianissimo]

[tinyphantomsalad]

some more

[kitsunebattleboxer]

the WHAT??

[personification-of-anxiety]

okay, found her

[whenstarsfall]

[whenstarsfall]

some more good replies from the notes

[whenstarsfall]

[camellianswer]

i didnt expect these to hit so hard but then they kept going and going….my god

[were--ralph]

shitposting aside, horniness aside, full honest to god opinion

a monster fucker movie with full frontal would do fucking numbers right now. like regardless of genre (please no fucking horror) it would pop the fuck off in theaters

[were--ralph]

even if its straight like this big muscular werewolf is in love with this woman etc etc but you see his dick furries would go insane like you have no idea

[were--ralph]

like there would be so much controversy if its gay but oh my god it would set the world ablaze. i need to win the fucking lottery and talk to guillermo del toro

[byjove]

ages 0-7: slowly gain sentience

ages 7-12: be an ‘old soul’

ages 12-16: allow the darkness to consume you

ages 16-19: be a kid for the first time ever

ages 19-30: develop dad lore

ages 30-35: court a beautiful lady

ages 35-40: get married, start a family

ages 40-55: promise to clean out the gutters and never do it again

ages 55-60: allow the darkness to consume you once more

ages 60-75: swinger cruises with your beautiful wife

ages 75-86: be an eccentric grandfather

age 86: mysteriously disappear

[fromthemouthofkings]

age 111: Bilbo Baggins themed birthday party

[hiveswap]

Everyone go look up the song nasa banned from space

[hiveswap]

Don't forget to play it loud as fuck

[kowai-kabuki-tanuki]

please….listen to the whole thing. And imagine that you are IN SPACE in 1973 and you JUST woke up. Every time you adjust…it escalates somehow.

This song had to be designed in a lab for the sole purpose of fucking with astronauts. whoever added it to the NASA playlist was a genius.

[snorlaxatives]

i think one of the best parts about being a teenager in the early to mid 2010s was that cigarettes were definitely not cool anymore and vapes hadn’t popularized yet so my lungs made it out of my peak impressionable years relatively unscathed

[kaiyves-backup]

[afurioushawk]

[deathsmallcaps]

I have such a vivid memory of being like 13, and seeing this ad on YouTube saying that they had gotten childhood smoking down to 7% in America. I was so happy for all my fellow American children. Then the following year, vaping came out.

[lifeafterpsychiatry]

If you're comfortable accusing anyone of faking disability, you're not a real ally to disabled people

[teaboot]

One time when I was a kid a group of girls and I had to treat another student for hypothermia by ourselves because she had so many invisible health issues that the adults we asked for help didn't believe us. The student in question was actively hallucinating. When I finally ran for help the people I grabbed were slow as shit to respond, casually joking about how "dramatic" the person in question was.

The kid was picked up by an ambulance 30 minutes later.

Now as an adult working in security I get SO MANY folks- upper-middle aged mostly- coming to me to 'rat out' people they think are faking it.

I was once sent into a bathroom because a client demanded that the "fucker won't get out, so go drag them out"- I was NEVER going to do that, so I did a wellness check instead. You know who it was? A person recently released from the hospital after a car accident. They had a hole in their skull and major hearing loss. They couldn't answer the owner because they couldn't HEAR the owner.

Another time about a homeless man who got around town by kicking the ground from his wheelchair. "You know he doesn't actually need that thing, his legs work fine, it's just for pity points"- Oh, so he's not paralyzed, his wheelchair is performative? Funny story Dale, I actually know that guy, he was backed over by a truck and has chronic pain from his shattered pelvis. But sure, let's make him stand up and walk everywhere so nobody feels too bad for him and tries to help him or something.

"She doesn't need that scooter, I've seen her get out of it."

"Look how fat he is, because he just rides around and refuses to get up."

"She doesn't really need that cane- she comes here without it all the time"

Sincerely, truly, from the bottom of my heart- as someone who isn't physically disabled but hears this shit all the time- fuck off

[probuccalfat]

i cannot emphasize enough how important it is that you should ideally give birth in a fully equipped and staffed medical facility or if you insist on giving birth through an alternative method you should be within minutes of a hospital and i mean under 5 minutes if you’d like me to be really fucking frank

[probuccalfat]

like i can get on board with so much feminist theory and stuff, truly, and i do acknowledge that obstetrics and gynaecology as a field holds blind spots that are egregious (e.g. infant and maternal mortality in the black community) but there is no empowerment in risky birthing practices that our foremothers, and i’m not mincing words, often suffered through. birthing is natural, but it is not “easy” or even “innate”, it is best practiced guided and witnessed by those that know what to do in an emergency. you are not reconnecting to any innate feminine nature by practicing dangerous birthing practices—you are recreating a time when the bodies and lives of women barely mattered and it was expected that death would/could occur at insane and tragic rates.

[probuccalfat]

this is a hill i will spend the rest of my days fighting on because while i am not interested in birthing children myself, i have an incredible passion and interest in the field of labour and delivery. it’s been one of my greatest joys to play even a small part in delivering neonates. i do not want anyone to risk their babies over a deeply, deeply misguided idea of free birth being “the natural way” when natural is not always synonymous with the safest way.

[anarchohellenism]

So many people think it's either midwife or doctor. It's not. Have your midwife or doula in the hospital room with you, I promise the doctors don't give a shit. Hell, you can have her do the delivery itself and just have the doctors there as emergency backup! But for the love of your baby, go to the fucking hospital.

[kdinjenzen]

12 years ago I made a vine that went viral on social media with my then 1 year old cat… and after many requests over the years, it's time to do a follow up!

So here we are! Yama the cat and Kdin the human 12 years later. Yama is still the same, and I've uh… changed a lot!

[decepticonsensual]

Not to be all "the children have forgotten the sacred texts!" but I just saw someone refer to a ship between two people who are good friends in canon as a crackship.

Hon. No. Crackship doesn't just mean "not canon". It's difficult to imagine two people who spend significant canon time together as a crackship. Crackship is when you write Galactus getting fucked by Tony the Tiger.

[decepticonsensual]

Gotta say, my absolute favourite notes on this so far have been the number of people congratulating Tony on his rebound from the Grinch.

[samcormac]

what’s the rush?

[jabberding0]

Wei Weaving is a Chinese artist

[allthingswhumpyandangsty]

[sarazanmai]

[byrdiboo]

Imagine losing a game you rigged