find the schism between self-confidence and false bravado
squeeze through that unholy crack
all the doubt you’ve squirreled away, all the self-hatred you thought you’d cast out has but retreated to the great stores of your loneliness and remission
face the hideous truth of your pasts…the millions of pasts you’ve lived
and when you’re there in that space
between true self-confidence, self-love and the pretension of who you say you are who you want to be
in that space where all your hatred seethes
when you’re there aswarm with the countless past demons you thought you’d vanquished with a lie
a lie of being biggger, better
a lie of uncaring, indifference
when you face that horrible storm of truth
in knowing you’re there at all…
time and time and time again
of knowing the storm somehow will pass
of knowing how if you summoned this much hate and this must evil in torment of YOURSELF and no one else, then you must even still be capable of change
so too you will change again
and just imagine all the blessed bits of you you’ll shine
all the good spirits you’ll welcome into your life
all the new places you’ll go and
all the new people you’ll meet
live on everafter, live on evermore