Honey and Vanilla Crème Brûlée with Sautéed Apples
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One Nice Bug Per Day

if i look back, i am lost
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

祝日 / Permanent Vacation

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ojovivo
trying on a metaphor
dirt enthusiast
noise dept.
YOU ARE THE REASON

Andulka

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@chartreuseflamethrowers
Honey and Vanilla Crème Brûlée with Sautéed Apples
it’s time to abandon the responsibilities of school and jobs and move into a Scottish castle to live as hermit witches.
“It’s my fucking highway.” - Dr. Judy Melinek, Forensic pathologist
My secret dream in life is transcend mortal reality and become a good fairy who descends from heaven and electrocutes people who can’t tell the difference between "using emotion instead of evidence and/or logic” and “having emotions while discussing a subject”.
I met Dr. Melinek at a book signing once! She wrote Working Stiff and let me tell you it’s an amazing book. She is awesome, fighting the good fight.
Boy ain’t that the truth
The biggest of moods
salt & vinegar chips are snacks for fucking masochists. literally the entire flavour of the goddamn chip is “acetic acid, which will hurt your tongue, and then just salt on top of that to hurt it worse”. it’s brutal. this chip is designed to hurt you
some of you are acting like i hate salt and vinegar chips and i need to clarify: i do not hate them. old dutch baked salt & vinegar chips is my favourite flavour of chips and one time i ate two bags of them in two days and my tongue started bleeding. i love the goddamn things. but why did humanity make them. to what end. my tongue literally bled from eating them. the flavour of them is just acid and salt. their gimmick is pain. and yet……. Chips Good…….
Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa on Michelle Gomez and her epic hair:
“When we auditioned Michelle, she had to do two scenes. She had to do Miss Wardwell and then she had to do Madam Satan and she came in, wearing glasses, and her hair was pulled back and she auditioned for Mary Wardwell and she was amazing, and then she just said to everyone…it was a room of executives…She just stepped off, took off her glasses, undid her hair, and just appeared as this lioness and I’ve never seen an audition like that. Everyone was sitting forward. No special effects. Hair. Just hair.”
Some memes transcend sexuality
i just saw a fb post where a man was arguing with a woman about the best way to make macarons and he kept insisting that she was wrong, and then eventually he was like “I’ve never personally made macarons, but if you think about it what I’m saying makes sense, i’m simply stating the obvious. i’m sure there are plenty of youtube tutorials that would show you the same thing.” and the woman replied by linking him to her instagram business page and she makes fuckin macaron towers for parties for a living and i’ve been laughing about it for a solid 5 minutes.
Men automatically assume they’re more of an expert on something than any woman on account of their dicks. I’ve never met such an ignorant and narcissistic creature as a male
I’ll never forget a time when a fb friend of mine posted that she’s on her way to hospital to give birth. Women commented with “good luck” and other encouraging messages. A man’s comment was advice on how to give birth.
You have got to be kidding me
So I was talking about Jekyll & Hyde (the book) at a writer’s museum while we were looking at an Robert Louis Stevenson exhibit. I was giving my take on Jekyll, and my brother tried to counter it. I countered back easily, and then he said “well I’ve never read the book”
My dude………..stop
my ex, whose baking experience was pretty much limited to frying premade biscuit dough in boy scouts to make ‘donuts’, would constantly try to correct me or give me advice on baking
i’m a fucking pastry chef
met a dude at a party who was talking about physics and asked if i’d ever listened to any online physics lectures bc he listened to all of this one series and they were so helpful and maybe i could learn some physics too
i have a degree in physics
and am a published coauthor in astrophysics
the best part is that the woman who invented the term ‘mansplaining’ (her name is Rebecca Solnit and i highly recommend her collection of essays) came up with it when she was at a party one night and a man tried to explain a book to her, and wouldn’t let her speak long enough for her to tell him that
she wrote the bloody book he was mansplaining to her
You know I have plenty examples of this but that last one takes the cake so imma just let it be.
do you ever feel yourself slowly losing your current hyperfixation but you’re not particularly interested in anything else rn so you have nothing to fill that void and ur just bored and ready for death
This is uncomfortably accurate
i feel so called out rn
Chilling Adventures of Sabrina, “Chapter Seven: Feast of Feasts” (S01E07)
And as our fallen foes retreat I hear the drinking song they’re singing…
Stop. Normalizing. Bath Bombs. they’re training people not to recognize the inherent dangers of magical vortexes
thousands of years of evolutionary instincts gone just like that. you dumbasses are gonna stick your feet in the first glowing portal you stumble across and get kidnapped by the fucking fae
listen, buddy
the way this world is going, i will happily jump into a glowing portal and get abducted by the fae
you know what that’s fair
May the 10 of Pentacles bless your account with more money than you can spend. 💵✨
10 of Pentz came thruuu
Omg this actually works!!! Thank you 10 of Pentacles!!!
I could seriously use this money right now….
Please give me my refund of 400$ soon…
Alan Rickman behind the scenes of Sense and Sensibility [1995]
not that i’d actually wanna live in a different time period, thanks very much, but also lately im vibing the idea of being born hundreds years ago when an army trudges through my city and kills all my loved ones and i must assume a male disguise in order to seek revenge in this male-dominated society so i cut my hair short and slick it back and join the army and learn how to use a big heavy broadsword and i soon have a reputation as a great swordsman which is only overpowered by my reputation as a great lover despite the fact i never take all my clothes off but i still manage to get all the women and the other guys in my regiment can’t figure out how i’m so good with them but i just gotta shrug and play up the ladies man thing until one day i meet a princess of the blood and im charged with protecting her on a journey out of the capital but we get separated from the rest of the regiment and i start developing feelings for her because she’s spunky but i know It Can Never Be for a number of reasons and then one night she catches me bathing in the moonlight and i instinctively draw my sword because No One Can Know My Womanly Secret but also she’s the princess and also also now i’m in love with her so i simply hand the sword over but she throws it aside with a clatter and throws herself at me and we make love by the lakeside and the next day i put on my soldiers gear and we keep moving wondering what the future will hold when the enemy horde comes upon us and i defend her but am outnumbered when suddenly our separated guards catch up and we fight the invaders and i kill the man who slaughtered my family because he is conveniently part of this regiment and we’re all happy for our victory but i still look sadly at the princess because It Can Still Never Be and i must take her to the capital to meet her betrothed and we kiss and make love sadly in a tent one last time but then we finally reach the city it turns out her fiance is a huge Gay too and has a huge entourage of gays following him around and brushing lint out of his fur coats and he hires me to be the queen’s bodyguard wink wink nudge nudge and i meet her nightly using a secret passageway under the castle and also i get a really cool new sword and history doesnt remember me as anything more than a friend to the queen until centuries later when a bunch of love letters are found in a secret compartment under the castle by a lesbian librarian who was researching the local history and she falls in love with the lady castle tour guide as they bond over an interest in our love story the end
From @veggiedayz: “Blackberry has a song he wants to sing for you.” #cutepetclub [source: http://ift.tt/28SdMmN ]
Kitten: *small mew* Cameraperson: *soft “ohhh”* Kitten: *BIG LONG MEOW* Cameraperson: *soft laughter* “What was that?” Kitten: *tiny mew*
the caption did not prepare me
the highest ratio of meow to cat that i’ve ever encountered
The smallest kittehs have the biggest meows, I’ve found.