Always hungry @chickewl - Tumblr Blog

A series of greatest hits from possibly one of my favorite parody accounts on anything ever.

Chat, is it considered “abusive roommate behavior” to release a raccoon into the living space after you have asked your roommate for months to please clean up their messes (they do not pay any of the mortgage)

raccoonmilf

For context, when I used to live alone I would do something called “Princess Time” where I would do an initial sweep (to remove any significant hazards) and then I would release a raccoon into the living area and clean. This helped because I would 1) feel like a princess and 2) the raccoon would bring attention to things my ADHD brain had decided to ignore and I’d quickly clean that stuff up.

So like, if I’m expected to clean the house now, I will be doing it in the way that is most effective for me. And anything that has not been cleaned up after months of having sit-down talks and sending reminders and being promised things will change, might be deemed “trash” by the trash panda and thrown away.

raccoonmilf

We haven’t done since we moved into the house, because I didn’t want to cause my roommate or their cats destress or have their things destroyed by a raccoon

raccoonmilf

I am a raccoon biologist and one of the few people in the state allowed to take in captive bred raccoons that had been possessed illegally. The raccoon in the photos is Moonshine, but she is currently at the animal sanctuary where I work as I had been quarantining multiple new intakes from an abuse case. I still have two males (Rum Tum Tugger and Electra) left in my home enclosure as we are getting them neutered and then hopefully sending them to an AZA accredited zoo.

I wanna make things very clear that underneath all the whimsy, I am a trained professional.

raccoonmilf

Those vibes are likely because I’m the original creator of Dashcon and my personality has not changed since 2012 lmao

fipindustries

byjove

limping away from the battlefield all by yourself, handsome?

sreegs

gonna start making snopes-style responses to urban legends about tumblr

sreegs

"this how we lost post editing and it was still worth it"

❌ False

The John Green Cock Monologue, while one of the most egregious examples of post editing, was not why the ability to edit posts was taken away. This feature was removed because scammers would edit posts with huge note counts to try to make their scams look legit.

sreegs

"those are his hooves, bitch."

✅ True

Those are his hooves, bitch.

depsidase

warheads-r-us-deactivated202301

Yes, that’s a gun in my pants. No, I’m not happy to see you.

xanaxfarts

A tiny insect clinging to the head of a horned viper

nattousan

#ratatouille

blackwatersinkingship

When I finish this whale shark lamp all 4 of you are gonna be So I'm pressed

blackwatersinkingship

She glows now, just so you know, and she's full of string deliciöusee string

god-sent-gender-bent

Are you gonna show us the lamp? 👀

blackwatersinkingship

Good news! Whäle shark lämp 🥰

hollyevolving

A lot more than 4 of us are impressed

fuskida

Red Glass Goldfish Jar 清 (Qing Period)

thewindowofthesummerhouse

Svetoslav Petrov - svetoslavi

animentality

dragon-in-a-fez

actually I think you should be normal about ordinary citizens of authoritarian countries and yes that applies even to that country you're thinking of right now

glorious-spoon

spent forty-five minutes today helping an 87yo woman who does not own a computer or a cell phone try to set up an email account so that she could then set up a second account in order to access benefits. went with protonmail, because they don't require 2fa, but it turns out that while you can still make a protonmail account without authentication you can no longer use it to create OTHER accounts without it, and the benefits page she needed to get to required both an email and a cell phone to create an account anyway. asked if she wanted to try going in person to see if someone there could help her, and she said that she had, and they'd directed her to the website. she tried signing up with her landline, but of course that didn't work because you can't do SMS authentication that way. finally ended up writing up detailed instructions for how to log in and authenticate her account so she can drive to her severely disabled daughter's house forty minutes away because that's the only person she knows and trusts who has both a cell phone and a computer.

anyway i fucking hate mandatory 2fa and i think the people responsible for it should have to spend a year navigating their lives with no cell phone and no internet access beyond the public library pcs. fuck.

depsidase

awakefor48hours

Every once in a while, I wish the friendship meter from the Sims was real so that way when people tell me "I used Chat-GPT" they can visually see just how much respect I just lost for them in that moment.

berkelbites

One time an acquaintance told me she entered Snape's star chart into chatgpt and I could physically feel that meter dropping three separate times over the course of her sentence