rankings of 4 white chrises sometimes

all rankings verified consensually by nate silver. rankings not subject to dispute. "you're really mean and that makes me anxious" read the rankings: most recent first; or in chronological order

[dailyflicks]

Christine Baranski as Martha May Whovier HOW THE GRINCH STOLE CHRISTMAS (2000), dir. Ron Howard

[evilvillain123456789]

I'm sorry that you apparently felt "tortured" by my behavior. I personally love experimental research chemicals and would enjoy being force fed them while locked in a windowless cell but I can see how someone with a less positive additude might not enjoy that. Anyway sorry I guess. I hope you can get over your close mindedness since it's clearly a source of pain in your life.

[gayrandalgraves]

in order to combat the homophobia "allegations" I think chris pratt should come out as bi and fabricate an entire fake narrative about him and chris hemsworth being lovers (chris hemsworth starts going by hemmy so that they aren't a chris4chris couple). pratt says that they wanted to tongue kiss on the set of the new thor movie but big marvel silenced them, and #ShowtheKiss starts trending on twitter in support of their brave statement. the two of them get so caught up in this lie that it persists for several years, culminating in them getting married as a publicity stunt before chris pratt ultimately breaks down and comes out as homophobic, divorcing chris hemsworth and posting several angry twitter threads insulting him. instead of coming clean though, chris hemsworth doubles down on the lie and releases a very emotional notes app tweet about how chris pratt shattered his heart during this stressful and complicated divorce. he says that he can no longer go by "chris" or "hemmy" because both of those names remind him too much of his lost love, so he starts going by "sworth" exclusively to cope. of course, the internet collectively loses their shit over the situation and chris pratt's name is permanently ruined as a result, since he has now been labelled the man that made it so sworth can never love again.

[taterpie]

WELL, today I fuckin LEARNED

[tiny-increments]

[wrathofthestag]

In which Chris Pine becomes my Favorite Chris…

[tiffranosaurusrex]

@lesbianchrispine

[bbcsherlock]

imagining if we were still in the age of newspaper hawkers and there were kids up and down the streets screaming out this news to the public trying to sell the paper

[spockothy]

chris evans is so fucking rank in snowpiercer. like he hasn’t showered in 17 years and he’s covered in blood and he ate babies but i am like. yeah. yeah dude. after u fuck up that frozen capitalist death train u gotta call me. he looks fucking disgusting but he is so On

[oakttree-deactivated20221126]

#on a dick scale of ONE to WORTH THE UTI #curtis’s filthy monster dong is a solid Pop Ten Cranberry Pills Beforehand And Hope For The Best [killerville]

dear god

[bitchevans]

one of the most iconic pieces of literature of our time

[virgomoon-deactivated20240514]

[charlotteslabouff-deactivated20]

Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again (2018) dir. Ol Parker

[femalemanlet-deactivated2021092]

just remembered that i won't be having gay sex on valentine's day

[sunfortune]

the way twitter finally clowned chris evans for the lukewarm centrist political tweets after YEARS last week and hes in talks to rejoin the mcu this week. one has to chuckle 

[mirdania]

there is not a single role chris pratt does that jack black couldn’t do better

[tonysopranobignaturals-deactiva]

would you ever run for office?

yeah

the office of sexy bitches with good opinions

[chrisrankings]

So, about Christ Pratt.

> Yes

> I have zero defects of character and also, no 

[kinklock]

why are you right about everything ever.. how do i gain this power

just start being correct . hope this helps 

[chrisrankings]

If one more person messages me about the events of the last 24 hours I will execute every last one of you 

[chrisrankings]

Gruel recipe please? I made the best gruel from a medieval recipe 3 months ago, it slipped right down my throat like slime. If you can do better..,

I will not be baited I simply will not 

[chrisrankings]

Hi what is the effect of the Chris Evans ad currently plaguing tumblr mobile?

usually I'm able to pronounce judgement in the absence of hard fact and with the sole aid of my mind's eye but...I cannot begin to fathom what a "Chris Evans ad" would look like so please send screenshot. xx