An Uninteresting Event

Don't live for today, but live your life like it's a story you would want to tell someone.

[christianjacob]

10-4-20

Came to the beach to have a nice weekend with my friends

I should have known better by now but whatever

So I get invited to an all couples weekend getaway. But like WHY

We got Matt and Crissy in a bed. Because they been fucking for a while which is a whole story on its own

Brando and Miranda in a bed

Alondra who originally invited before me. Who then said she was bringing someone BUT SAID IT WAS COOL FOR ME TO RIDE WITH HER

So she shows up and has her guy but identifies as single. And is making out with him the whole time.

I essentially have to hype everyone up to keep the energy going because I tried to be my chill self but everyone is SUPER FUCKING BORING IF NOT ATIMULATED OR TRYING TO FUCK EACH OTHER

So now Crissy is crying because she has a fever or whatever and Matt doesn’t know how to console her so it makes her even more upset and is currently in the bathroom crying and I’m just here like bro I should go out to the beach and just fucking chill or go home

But I’m the rock holding everyone together

And I’m so tired of it all. Like I’m tired of these friends. I’m tired of pointless people that have no fulfillment in my life.

I feel like this whole pandemic has made me realize I only got like 3 or 4 friends and that’s all I need

Everyone in my life is temporary. But I need validation. So I torture myself because this is my hell. Being alive and having so many people want me but no one ever that wants just me.

And THAT has been the biggest mind fuck of my entire life

And I’m exhausted and just want to run away from everything. One day I just might.

P.S. ALSO I ALWAYS HAVE TO SLEPT ON THE FLOOR OR COUCH LIKE FUCK THIS IF YOU CANT GIVE ME DECENT BEDDING LEGIT DONT FUCKING INVITE ME PERIOD

We are fucking adult. Dish out the money like we are god damn proper adult I’ll pay my share. Don’t give me fucking high school no job having experience so you all can get your dicks wet

[polniaczek]

[catsofinstagram]

[kallistoi]

[video description: various short clips of a toddler walking up to a grumpy looking orange cat and snuggling their face gently against the cat’s side.]

[swolleneyeball-deactivated20170]

i fukcing hate this show

[sugarkillsall]

This is the best scene in the entirety of IZ imo it’s literally perfect

[partlysmith]

according to the staff commentary for this episode, the script actually called for heavy traffic to be rushing past Dib and Zim in this scene, which is why they’re shouting at each other, and you can even still sort of hear the sound effects but then, for whatever reason, in the finished episode they just forgot the cars

[2002-honda-crv]

[roliepolie]

@arr-jim-lad I’m CRYING is that actually a thing that happened, I can’t believe I’ve never heard this

[arr-jim-lad]

YES

[matronofthevoid]

I REMEMBER WATCHING THIS AS A LITTLE KID AND THINKING IT WAS SO FUCKING FUNNY, ME AND MY BROTHER WERE DYING.

[christianjacob]

I’m not sorry

You made a shit choice. I called you out for it. I’m not in the wrong. If you let this break us then I’m still right at the end. And that is all that really matters. You have always been wildfire since the first day I met you.

[whitepeopletwitter]

[unit04-archive-blog]

[woke-but-wild-problematic]

I’m sayin’

[foxthebeekeeper]

A neighbor called and said she saw a swarm on a fire hydrant so I grabbed my bucket and ran there as fast as I could. I dabbed some lemongrass oil on the bottom of it and they walked in. After about 5 minutes I just scooped the rest in and bam! Free bees!

I got the queen on the first scoop too though. Apparently she was a new one because she was piping in there really loudly. This is my first personal swarm catch so honestly I’m not sure if that was supposed to happen or not.

[droct0]

What other website am i going to see posts where the op talks about “bam! Free bees!”

[kitbulls]

[bitchwhoyoukiddin]

I feel this is an appropriate post to retell the time my dad got free bees (found an extra thrown swarm) but didn’t have any equipment to transport them, so he just grabbed the queen in a pint jar, let the other swarm into his Ford Escort, and drove down the highway to home with a swarm of bees loose in the car.

I would honestly die of delight to find someone who watched my dad (~72 white guy) driving down a major Illinois highway with a swarm of bees loose in the car just chillin.

I’m sorry, he’s just like that.

[jonklassen2]

[gentlemanbones]

[dreadpiratecherry-deactivated20]

[was-fleur-prince-deactivated201]

I have no idea what’s going on

[pewterkat]

Congrats, we have reached a period of time where there is a generation that does not remember the first memes.

[ryanthedemiguy]

Look, i’ve been on tumblr for nine fucking years and I don’t get this meme. I remember seeing it at some point, but have no clue what it means.

[nerdfighterwhatevernumbers]

because this meme is pre tumblr and pre-youtube and is about 17 years old, almost twice as long as you’ve been on tumblr the ancient depths of albinoblacksheep will never die

[stability]

I wish i would’ve thought of this when I was in school

[theequeerstrian]

That’s the most Chaotic Neutral Parent thing I’ve ever heard

[ink-the-artist]

Grocery shopping

[anxietyproblem]

[glumshoe]

Are crabs and spiders in the same family? Are spiders just smaller, scarier, land crabs?

No–they’re both arthropods, but so are insects. They share a phylum, but Arthropoda is HUGE. There IS a subphylum Chelicerata which includes spiders and horseshoe crabs, and potentially “sea spiders”, but the crabs we eat and the spiders you see in your garden are not closely related.

HOWEVER. Isopods are a type of crustacean–you might know them by the names “roly-poly”, “sowbug”, “woodlouse”, “armadillo bug”, or pillbug. Some species live at the bottom of the sea and grow to the size of lapdogs, but some terrestrial species live under rocks in your back yard (probably). They’re related to crabs!

[thedurvin]

Chelicerata also includes the extinct Sea Scorpions, including the largest known arthropod to have ever lived, Jaekelopterus

Technically Japanese spider-crabs’ limbs are long enough to beat that, but I think Jaekelopterus wins because it’s a full unit while the crabs are the size of a toaster with long skinny appendages.

[thedurvin]

The Council of Eurypterids stands in judgment

[randomencounters]

Encounter: the Council of Eurypterids, a group of ancient arthropods that stands in judgment against those that derail threads/conversations with bizarre tangents that don’t make any damn sense

[randomitemdrop]

Item: Tunic of the Judgmental Eurypterids, grants protection against conversations being derailed; if characters are trying to have a totally sensible conversation about, say, arthropod trivia, but someone drifts the subject with irrelevant asides, aesthetic posts, and plugs for bizarre merchandise, the wearer may summon ghostly chitinous beasts from beyond to force the target to shut up for a minute and let everyone get back to what they were trying to talk about. (Hopefully the appearance of ghostly chitinous beasts from beyond doesn’t distract everyone further.)

(Link to new design on TeePublic)

[glumshoe]

fuck this entire post

[theflashisgone]

I read this as “the Council of Euripides” and thought the post was going to have prehistoric arthropods discussing Greek tragedies

[glumshoe]

hmm….

[animals-addiction]

[sirfrogsworth]

Sometimes you just need to stand on a rock and howl. 

[everythingfox]

Please support his business

[glumshoe]

Mice chewed a hole in the side of my bottle of canola oil, crawled inside, and drowned....?

[glumshoe]

What I do not understand about this is that I have bread, chips, pasta, peanut butter, crackers, apples, trail mix, lentils, and jelly beans RIGHT THERE. There’s a whole bowl full of apples on the counter.

I set a trap with peanut butter before I left and left it beside the oil in my cabinet. And yet multiple mice decided to... chew through the hard plastic bottle of OIL.... and die?!?! There’s a fucking mass grave of mice in my OIL and the fully-accessible peanut butter is untouched.

What the HELL kind of mice am I dealing with?! This is cursed.

[glumshoe]

I should probably stop using this oil, huh? This is the opposite of a Hanukkah miracle.

[creekfiend]

FULL OF MICE FULL OF MICE