Batman's Parable of the Cave

Local queer author and human disaster finally

[inber]

BUDDY you're a BOY you're a BIG BIG BOY you're a BIG BIG BIG BIG BIG BIG BOY you got mud on your face you BIG BIG BOY kicking your can all over the place singing WEE wee WEE wee WEE wee WEE wee

[theunsubtleknife]

[chromaticjester]

It would be fucking hillarious if the Mitch Mcconnell gag was just to distract from Lindsey Graham. However. The alternative

Two for the price of one

[fishing-princess]

I Defeated the Demon Lord but it Turns Out the Demon Army was Largely Unaffected and I Fell Victim to a Flawed Belief in Great Man Theory

[leftcosine]

I Executed The Demon Lord With One Flawless Strike And After A Brief Power Struggle The New Demon Government Is Substantially More Committed To The War Because Of Some Reason I Don't Know

[humanfist]

I Successfully Overthrew The Demon Lord And Instituted Demon Democracy But They Voted For A Commie So The CIA Not Some Fantasy Equivalent The Actual CIA Who Have Known About Magic And Alternate Realms The Whole Damn Time But Won't Just Unisekai Me Launched A Counter Coup And That's When Things Really Went To Shit

[prokopetz]

The writer's barely plausible alibi.

[prokopetz]

#i think this is that thing where 19th century authors had to contrive a series of events for the manuscript to “appear” in their possession #complete with justifiable narrator and with total disregard for the rest of ways the rest of the text break reality #“yes it is entirely possible that a guy was briefly in another world and made it back here to give me his journal before leaving entirely” #“don't think too hard about it” (via @flameintheblacknight)

Say what you will about 19th Century literary critics' inexplicable hate-boner for the third-person omniscient perspective, but the lengths that 19th Century authors often went to in order to avoid getting CinemaSins dinged for failing to adequately contextualise how the narrator could possibly know all this are frequently the funniest stuff I've ever read.

[dizzyhslightlyvoided]

Victorian-style story with two narrators who appear to be physically present but nobody else acknowledges them, nor do they appear to be aware of each other, and then they're eventually revealed to be an angel and a demon who were trying to invisibly watch and/or interfere with the events of the story. When they finally do notice each other, their ensuing scuffles as they try to sabotage each other nearly cause them to miss important plot points.

[chromaticjester]

It's older than that! The found manuscript was a genre for as long as the novel has been around, easily 18th century in English. The Monk, iirc, and definitely the first edition of Robinson Crusoe. That one actually pretended Crusoe was the author and Defoe was just his good friend to whom he entrusted publication

And then if you wanna get funky about it you could argue it also existes in early modern lit? The Burning World by Margaret Cavendish was all about the beautiful utopia of a great empress who beamed herself directly into her brain and had, along with hers and Mary's husband, a platonic soul polycule set up to invade France (dont ask). Actual Utopia by Moore straight up just invented guys who wrote down their fictional adventures.

[robinbanksss]

Please please PLEASE let him win

[chromaticjester]

It would be so fucking funny

[chromaticjester]

I know we all take the weirdness of tumblr ads for grantes but...

WHAT DOES THIS MEAN ????

[dogpuppy]

[chromaticjester]

Why is your father a spoiled persian cat named Donut

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

Liver Detox Using One Weird Trick!!! Doctors HATE Him—Greek Man Discovers Secret To Regenerate Entire Liver In 24 Hours!!!

[theoutcastrogue]

Art presented without further comment:

artists (the OP is by Theodoor Rombouts, 17th c) : F. Gordeev 1769, Cornelius Cort 1566, Bernard Picart 1733, Enrico Barberi 1893, Luca Giordano 1660, Grigorij Mihajlov 1819, Jacob Jordaens 1640, Jean-Louis-Cesar Lair 1819, Johann Heinrich Fuseli 1781-1785, John Singer Sargent c. 1921, John Singer Sargent 1921, Kaspar von Zumbusch 1880, Josep Campeny i Santamaria, Juan Manuel Ferrari 1952, Peter Paul Rubens 1610s, Nicolas-Sébastien Adam 1762, unknown (Prometheus Vase) 1867, Pavel Wenig 1892

Aaand switch bonus: "Prometheus Strangling the Vulture" by Jacques Lipchitz (1943)

[chromaticjester]

I... I can't help but notice that a good few of these sculptors do not appear to know where a liver is

[autistobrat]

scientists are experimenting on cross-breeding a crab and a cheetah; things could go sideways real fast

[ellaandtheocean]

Humpback whales breaching: gorgeous, majestic, graceful, embodies all the strength and beauty of the ocean

Minke whales breaching: I will launch myself out of this ocean like a f***ing surface-to-air missile to seek and destroy my enemies

[gallusrostromegalus]

I remember an interview with a guy that did the camera work for nature documentaries and he said that baleen whales like these guys were the scariest things to shoot because “They’re the size of a train, they can suddenly appear out of nowhere in dark or murky water and they don’t make a goddamn sound. I was absolutely sure that one of them was going to hit me and well, ‘that’s all folks!’. Gave me a lot of perspective on how I handle myself when filming smaller animals now.”

[a-book-of-creatures]

Fin whales breaching: sea serpent

[fleshdyke]

levitating minke whale

[plaguedocboi]

Sperm whale breaching: wjaht the fuck

[necronatron]

I have a feeling I have already shared this, but please, take the contribution of the northern right whale dolphin.

The humble eyebrow

[milksockets]

'one way system' by teresa milheiro

[belostomatidaekisser]

[chromaticjester]

Plot of fate stay night

[dunmertitty]

i get that’s it’s not always obvious when i’m on my lunch but you’d think people would notice not to bother me when i’m hunched over eating a vegetarian burger like that bitch eating his son

hold on what is this gif

[pmamtraveller]

Woman Warms Herself at the Fireplace by C Williams, 1801

[chromaticjester]

Hey so cool detail about this painting. You can't really see it on this pic,but the book she is using is The Monk by Matthew Lewis, one of the early first gen gothic novels. It was considered really scandalous at the time, with multiple explicit (again for the time. At one point he sensually describes a woman's singular breast as a perfect round fleshy globe, and that's really as sexy as it gets)

But. But. It was not just the sex scenes that got it censored. There was also the fact that at the start one of the main couples (a monk and a nun who later turns out to be a demon) seem to be gay! She is living as a man, fellow monk, and he is under the impression she is a guy. She confesses his love to him as a dude!

So our girlie here is not just jorking it off to porn. She is straight up fujoshing it. To demon porn

Truly, some things never change

[blessyouhawkeye]

huh? what? yeah okay sure whatever-

HUH!! WHAT!!!!! HELLO!!!!!

[chromaticjester]

@chucktingleofficial how is this not yours

[chromaticjester]

I need it

[heedra]

if you really want to fuck a vampire then i’d say you’re down for the count

[heedra]

damn thats a lot of notes and a lot of vampire fuckers, i guess its time to raise the stakes