Marriage is no longer bound to antiquated gender roles. And when those gender roles are removed, the case for marriage discrimination breaks down.
â[Same-sex couples] wouldnât be asking for this relief if the law of marriage was what it was a millennium ago. I mean, it wasnât possible. Same-sex unions would not have opted into the pattern of marriage, which was a relationship, a dominant and a subordinate relationship. Yes, it was marriage between a man and a woman, but the man decided where the couple would be domiciled; it was her obligation to follow him.
There was a change in the institution of marriage to make it egalitarian when it wasnât egalitarian. And same-sex unions wouldnât â wouldnât fit into what marriage was once.â
I got a little less sleep this weekend than I normally do because I woke up early on Saturday to attend APO Section 49 Sectionals hosted by WashUâs Alpha Phi Chapter and then stayed up all 12 hours for Relay for Life 2015. Iâm currently supposed to be catching up on some work to get ready for Monday, but I canât help but keep thinking about how this weekend reminded me of how fortunate I am to know the people I know in my life and to have had the experiences I had at WashU.Â
Both APO and Relay has such a big impact on my time at WashU. APO was the first place I really started to think about the impact and path of long term change, of the difference between service and charity, of the importance of understanding the Why. Itâs how I met some of my closest friends. Itâs the place I was able to grow my leadership skill sand think about what leadership meant. Relay for the Life was an event I went to for the first time my first semester at school. I had no idea what to expect, but I spent the night getting to know my new APO brothers, experiencing Relay for the first time, and I left that event at 6am knowing I had just been a part of something special.Â
I canât speak for every school, but one of the things I loved about my WashU experience was being exposed to so much passion. Passion for wanting to understand the world, for wanting to change the world, for wanting to get messages out there and connect with people. I think I appreciate this aspect even more now than when I was a student.Â
Alpha Phi Omega is a national organization and this weekend was such a wonderful reminder of that fact and a celebration of how the fraternity has left a mark on all our lives. Alpha Phi did a wonderful job of putting together a weekend that allowed everyone to explore new topics, appreciate the history of the fraternity and encourage a love for APO. The VIP Panel was a fun way to hear some stories from some truly magnificent people and it reminded me that APO doesnât stop with one campus or when you receive your diploma. Being in a room with people that want to prove this by being more involved in our alumni network. To instantly have a connection with so many people from all over because of your belief in service and the importance of leadership and friendship. Maybe Iâm geeking out, but thatâs just so cool. The Alpha Phi chapter has changed a lot in the last few years, to the point where Iâm not entirely sure how the exec structure works anymore. But while eating lunch and waiting for the business meeting to start, I talked to some newly elected board members about their plans and dreams for their position and seeing that passion was really awesome. Meeting recent pledges from other schools and sharing our APO origin stories was just something that honestly caught me off-guard. I forgot how interconnected we all were and easy conversation with almost-strangers could be.Â
I wasnât able to go to the Sectionals banquet because I spent the next 12 hours at Relay. I had a few people ask me throughout the night why I still go to Relay as an alum. I donât have a really good defined answer. I Relay because cancer still touches me life and the lives of people I love. I still go to Relay because I want to support my friends on Exec and Steering. In a very selfish way, I go to Relay to feel connected. Sitting there at opening ceremonies on the bleachers with everyone else that is there for the same purpose, watching Professor Bob Hansman speak, walking the track all together to open up the event, gathering again later for the Luminaria ceremony, and finally coming together for the fundraising reveal...thereâs just something really special and unique about an event like that. I still participate in Dance Marathon for similar reasons. Iâm very passionate about the causes these two events support and will continue to give my time and money to the American Cancer Society (and Childrenâs Miracle Network). However, there is also something intangible about actually being at the event surrounded by others. People that have such a deep love for the cause, people that are honest, frank, and so incredibly strong about their relationship with cancer, new underclassmen that might be at the event for the first time. To see it click for people. That this is something bigger. That there is something extremely powerful and unique about doing an event all together just because you can. I hope people can continue to discover this for themselves as they stay up late, bundled in coats, walking the track, dancing to keep warm, celebrating, remembering and fighting back.Â
This weekend was just such a nice reminder of what is important to me and all that WashU and the people that make up that community mean to me. Itâs funny the things that catch you off guard and make you pause and think. Itâs never the things you expect. Itâs things like getting my pizza at lunch and just taking a second to look around at everyone that was at Sectionals. Or walking the track and looking at all the Luminaria remembering people that have left us and celebrating people that survived their fight. Recognizing more names than I expected to. Seeing people come together to support people they love, even if I donât know who they are or the person theyâre missing. I guess I just wanted to remember these thoughts and reflect on them a little.
Iâm thankful for weekends like these and thankful to see two events touch so many lives.Â
Recently, Iâve had more one-on-one conversations and I think Iâve forgotten how much I value thoughtful conversation. I went on vacation with one friend for several days and being removed from our desks and daily worries allowed us to talk about topics we hadnât reflected on in awhile and some new topics we had never discussed or talked about. I also had a dinner conversation recently that was so refreshing because we talked about our futures and dreams and ideal worlds and removed ourselves from the day-to-day for a little bit. It was nice.Â
Iâve also been taking more time away from the computer, phone, tv, even books and just let my mind wander and think. I think this article is right to point out that sometimes that leads to rumination, but I think itâs also healthy to just âbe a personâ every once in awhile.Â
Iâve grown up with group chatting and constant conversation being the norm. I hop from iMessage to GChat to Messenger to Snap Chat without even thinking about it (and sometimes even with the same person). I juggle conversations all day long and sometimes have side bar conversations with a person Iâm chatting in a larger group with. I know Iâm not alone in these habits. I just find it interesting to observe and realize that I do these things. I chat about everything from clothing decisions for a night out to pondering what to eat for dinner to sending links and pictures and telling someone about my day. I fire back texts of encouragement, advice, agreement and celebration. Conversations have become so fluid. I think itâs really great to have a constant support system but Iâm also trying to maintain the balance between always-on communication and self-reflection time.Â
If anyone knows me, they know that I turn to cooking or baking when I'm stressed. It allows me to channel my stress into something methodical and productive. The Patriots were in the Super Bowl and I was once again watching a Boston team from afar in St. Louis... A little homesick and very stressed about the outcome of the game, I decided to do some recipe searching for the big game. A few friends were planning to come over to watch (some Pats fan, and some forced "to root for the Pats or be banished" by yours truly). It gave me a chance to make more food and try some new things.Â
I wanted to keep things (relatively) simple and also wanted to keep things on the lighter side. I love potato skins and wings...but didn't want to feel super heavy when the game was over. I also didn't want to be tending to anything during the game because I tend to scream and swear and curl up into a ball...anything in the oven would have definitely burned. Taco salad was good because everyone could customize and refill on their own as needed. I ended up doing a mix of semi-homemade and made-from-scratch recipes. I started with appetizers and then added some items to the table for a taco salad spread at half time.Â
The Menu
GuacamoleÂ
Pico de Gallo
Turkey Meatballs in BBQ Sauce Glaze
Pretzel Bites and Cheese Sauce
BrowniesÂ
Cilantro Lime Chicken
SautĂŠed Mushrooms
Taco Salad Fixings
Guacamole
I followed my usual recipe except this time I added a clove of garlic finely minced and cilantro since I had them on hand. I ended up using 5 large avocados and it probably made about 3.5 cups total. Since the ingredients are so similar, I made the guacamole and pico de gallo at the same time, just putting ingredients into different bowls.
Pico de Gallo
Took this recipe from Serious Eats but used red onion instead. I forgot to buy a white onion at the store... you always forget something! I also used a regular colander to drain the tomatoes. Roma tomatoes were on sale so that's what I used. Since they're not in season I had to cut away a lot of white but this was all gone by the end of the night so I assume it was hit!Â
Turkey Meatballs in BBQ GlazeÂ
I have no idea who showed me this but if you add grape jelly to bbq sauce it makes a kind of glaze (you don't taste the grape at all) and goes great with meatballs. 1 bag of turkey meatballs (around 25), half a bottle of 18 oz grape jelly, half a bottle of 18 oz bbq sauce all go into a slow cooker on high for 3 hours. Set it and forget it. The turkey meatballs did release a lot of water so the sauce wasn't as thick as usual but still very tasty.Â
Pretzel Bites and Cheese Sauce
So far, everything had been pretty simple. Guac and pico were easy and mellowing out in the fridge and the meatballs were doing their thing. I've never made pretzels before but they sounded like the perfect salty carb for the occasion. I was up for the challenge! I found this recipe really easy to follow. I also made the cheese sauce but omitted the hot sauce. It was yummy but congealed quickly. Not sure if I would make it again? Or maybe I would cut the recipe in half.
Some notes:Â
I had to add almost the whole extra cup of flour for the dough not to be sticky
I "kneaded" it with my dough hook on the electric stand mixer for about 5 minutes
I let the dough rest for 30 minutes instead of 10 since I was prepping the chicken and the brownies
Given my counter space, I found it easier to do twelve 10 inch ropes and I kind of just stretched the dough into a rope (rolling wasn't really happening)
It was cool to see the pieces transform from dough to puffed up dough balls after the baking soda bath and then all golden from the egg wash! I will definitely be making pretzels again :)
BrowniesÂ
I'm not going to lie. There are some really great better-than-box brownies out there. I have made several of them. However, Ghirardelli Double Chocolate has my heart and it's just so easy and everyone likes it. Two boxes of that mix into a 9x13 and I called it a day :) Gotta give yourself some breaks.Â
Cilantro Lime Chicken
I 100% ad-libbed this. I had 4 chicken breasts that I marinated with lime juice, cilantro, some honey and soy sauce. I let it sit in the fridge for about an hour and a half and stuck it in the oven at 350 degrees for 25 minutes at the start of half time. Â Cut these up into tiny cubes. Snuck a taste...not bad!Â
SautĂŠed MushroomsÂ
(For the vegetarians in attendance) sautĂŠed some mushrooms in a pan with a little oil, salt and pepper for a non-chicken taco salad option while the chicken was cooking. Thankfully, I timed this so I was half-distracted for Katy Perry's performance but fully able to appreciate Missy Elliott.
Taco Salad Fixings
To complete the taco salad options, I took out sour cream, cotija cheese, a head of chopped iceberg lettuce and some corn salsa from Eckert's Farm and regular salsa.Â
Loaded up my bowl with blue corn tortilla chips, lettuce, chicken, pico, guac, cheese, corn salsa and sat down to enjoy the (crazy, minutes-off-my-life, shocking) second half!Â
Clean up was a lot of dishes, but overall this menu made for very low-key prep. The only real time-consuming thing was the pretzels. I was able to fully enjoy the game, drink some beer, hang out with friends...and most importantly, CELEBRATE A PATRIOTS WIN!!Â
I read in a psych book once that new habits are best started on a Monday. I'm not very good at keeping "New Year Resolutions", so my hope is that by framing this as a "new habit" (and blogging about it) I will be able to keep myself accountable!Â
A friend and I have always talked about keeping gratitude journals, but I never actually started one. She shared about starting a gratitude jar and I have decided to do the same! I will keep it simple, just one or two things per day on a slip of (recycled) paper. I will write the date and a sentence about something I was grateful for that day.Â
A jar seems more fun and visual to me than a journal. I will be able to see it fill up as the days past and won't be able to flip through old entries until I empty it out.Â
Despite being not so keen on resolutions, I did think about what initiative/habit I could start in the new year. I had a few rolling around in my mind: regular exercise, at least a book a month, relearning Spanish, and sticking to my budget... These are all still on the list, but I wanted to start with something that would effect more of my life. So I chose a gratitude jar hoping it will infuse more positivity into my life and outlook on things. It's so easy to get bogged down in the small, unhappy occurrences of the day. In fact, it's really easy for me to feed off the negative energy of others. I'm not saying venting sessions are bad - I think it's still important to vent from time to time - but I think it's easy to get very caught up in the negativity. Sometimes at my office, I feel like all anyone does is vent (about a client, a project, a co-worker) and not much other conversation happens.Â
I also happen to have a really good memory for small things (events, conversations, etc.) so I look forward to going back through my jar whenever it gets full and remember the events that occurred as I reread the slips :)Â
I can support your right to publish something, and still condemn what you publish. I can defend what you say, and still say itâs wrong
An insightful perspective on Charlie Hedbo, the media response, and the idea of solidarity. To me, this is similar to how I can condemn the murders of the two NYPD policemen in Brooklyn, be appreciative of the hard work and dedication of the NYPD in general, but still question and ask for reform in regards to police brutality and insist on change in the system.Â
"The problem with ["race-neutral" ideology], though, is that despite race having no actual root in biology, race as a social construct and the subsequent racism are very real. Thus, ârace-neutralâ ideology is problematic for a few reasons.
First, it erases people of Colorâs cultural experiences and the reality of their lives and the oppression they face. This canât be stressed enough."
The author points out why she titles it with "white people" but it really applies to anyone that has experienced race-related privilege in our society or thinks that racism is "a problem of the past"
Best view of the arch by far thanks to Officer Lovelace letting us in after hours. Loved showing @skaraa a small part of my city đŻ! #stl #arch #bestfriend #adventuring (at Malcolm W Martin Memorial Park)
I feel like this bias also exists for anyone with a non-angelicized name. We make assumptions based on just the name, without having ever met the person themselves.
One of the old mgmt 100 professors did a lot of research on non-anglicized names - particularly with job applications. Studies show that this bias also appears with gender and other systems like prison sentencing and even babysitting.
The phrase âwhite privilegeâ is one that rubs a lot of white people the wrong way. It can trigger something in them that shuts down conversation or at least makes them very defensive. (Especially t...
Article that uses bike riding to explain what privilege is (and isn't)!Â
"We donât like pictures like this. It is not good to deduce an entire country to the image of a person reaching out for food. It is not good for people to see us like this, and it is not good for us to see ourselves like this. This gives us no dignity. We donât want to be shown as a country of people waiting for someone to bring us food. Congo has an incredible amount of farmland. An incredible amount of resources. Yes, we have a lot of problems. But food is not what we are reaching for. We need investment. We need the means to develop ourselves."Â
