#1 Stuart Little Hater

🖤 Don't really know what I'm doing | not as gay as I should be | ♡Pisces♡ | I like to yearn | pretty boy simp | goblin girl | constantly feeling like a deer in headlights | 23 | she/ her 🖤

[pears-palette]

An important PSA to remember!

[ID in Alt]

[suzieloveships]

Girls literally only want one thing

[peconella27]

"Eyes are the mirrors of our souls"

[i-write-shakespeare-not-disney]

I found a video of my embroidery for anon!!!!! For a better look at the details ♡

[tlirsgender]

Having parents who aren't as bad as they used to be is crazy cause they'll be sitting there doing some normal shit and you're like kubrick staring at them

[rainedravens]

"holy shit they finally confessed, what comes next--"

[dostoyevsky-official]

the worst part of "you'll understand when you're older" is that you really do understand when you're older

[aqueerkettleofish]

The second worst part is, once you get older, you find yourself saying "you'll understand when you're older" with Full Comprehension of how fucking annoying you're being right now, but also knowing that it's all you can say.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

more people with the same first name should date. i want to study the linguistical influence

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

more people with the same first name should date, marry, and then share the same surname. give more couples the same legal first and last name, i want to hear about the consequences

[hound-of-heaven]

oh! Oh! I have data for this! We recently got a pair of clients that share a first name - when I was entering it into the system the husband (he was by himself) gave me his information and then I asked if he had a spouse, and he said yes, his wife’s name is [sigh] also [first name].

Oh, I said. That’s unusual. Do you…..have middle names?

He looked back at me, and I swear to god I have never seen this level of resignation in a person - no, he said, and yes, it makes it worse. I made my sympathetic noises and sent him on to the next office, where my boss got to hear all about this as well - apparently the husband when they first met had thought his future wife was giving him the brush off, because he introduced himself and she responded “oh I’m [name], too” and then once he figured out she was telling the truth it was a little icebreaker, and that’s the last time it was beneficial for them.

It’s apparently hell trying to tell their paperwork apart. I can vouch personally in our business we actually got a memo from another department saying hey I think one of these names is misspelled, to which I composed the following memo: no :/

[hollowboobtheory]

if you are a game designer and you force me to kill wolves AND you have them make sad puppy noises I'm killing you

[choicelessflope]

see this never happens in spider solitaire for windows

[clowngirlpony]

Think again

[ofmermaidstories]

“i wouldn’t do that” “i wouldn’t say that” “i wouldn’t wear that” “i wouldn’t kiss them” too bad you pedantic dorks, you’re not the one in control here.

[kaidabakugou]

i’m back 🙂‍↕️🤏🏼 (a threat)

[mooseonahunt]

“Oh but she’s toxic!” Idgaf pass me the damn hazmat suit I need her

[i-am-a-fish]

it's 11:53, did you know you are so handsome

[leaderofthechildrenofthecreature]

Erm acshully itshs 8:53

[i-am-a-fish]

I have sent an unfathomable amount of locusts to your home

[yesterdaysprint]

The Richmond Independent, August 24, 1942

[icaruspendragon]

diagnoses character with whatever the fuck it is that i got

[jasmineintheforest]

I miss my best babygirl cult leader violent dad suguru geto with the best ass and best hair and gayest funnest followers and prettiest facecard sooooooooo much today.

[uwuplasmiusuwu]

I just remembered my second Pride, where I made different flag themed daisy chain bracelets/necklaces to hand out. I need folks to understand something:

They were free.

They were fucking free.

They were maybe ¢60 of acrylic yarn each at the most, and the whole ziploc bag of them took 2 hours max.

Three people gave me sad eyes until I took their money.

Someone who was clearly the mom friend of their group made me take a $5 and gave a 10 minute pep talk.

At least four more people insisted on getting change to pay for the, once again, free bracelets.

In spite of all these shenanigans, the absolute best was this one person who I can only describe as, “queer surfer dude who looks like a boyfriend who looks like a girlfriend.” I can remember nothing of the outfit, only the impeccable vibes. I did the same thing I did with everyone else, explaining the bracelets were free, and they nodded along as they took the last 6 strand rainbow bracelet. As soon as they had it on their wrist, they pointed at something over my shoulder and, like a fool, I looked.

Next thing I know, they’re running off cackling, yelling, “YOU’LL NEVER CATCH ME!” and I’m holding a fucking $20. I had to stop at least two people from chasing them, cause they thought the person stole something, and then they tried to give me money cause they thought it was funny seeing me flail over people being Too Nice.

That was the year I got reverse-robbed at Pride. I hope everyone out there is having a good time and, in particular, that queer surfer dude is out there still causing benevolent chaos.

[leebrontide]

The gay agenda