ceo of divorce

world’s 2nd sluttiest absent father

[cidnero]

pinned post more like penis post. no… pussy post. i’m a feminist.

[clownboybebop]

*street shot of zohran mamdani clad in nasty lil suit and hard hat* five months ago i was elected mayor of new york city. in that time, we have managed to COMPLETELY defeat the Staten Island Minotaur at no additional cost to the new york taxpayer

[scorebug]

i still don’t understand what the difference is between a strike and a ball ❤️

[scorebug]

this is making me cry

[segamascott]

[eviethekiwi]

disappears into the fog with a gay little run that pisses you off

[ectoimp]

[holythefirm]

“God’s favorite little darling” as your bio when you’re 30…. It should be “if the lord lets me see another day”

[salieri-antonio]

@wolfi-amadeus-mozart

[wolfi-amadeus-mozart]

Hm...I may steal that for my own bio

Danke schön, Herr Salieri!

[salieri-antonio]

... my pleasure. Wolfgang.

[holythefirm]

everyday on here it’s like okay well sure

[willgrahamscock]

some of you need to internalize this concept

[forestdeity]

everything is divine punishment if youre delusional enough

[guiltfactory-moved]

straight men fujo out all the time they just don't know it

[hylianane]

functionally suicidal character saying “I would die for you” to their significant other and its like. I get the sentiment, honey, but if a hot dog vendor told me he’d sell hot dogs for me, I wouldn’t feel very moved now would I

[maseratus]

Now a functionally suicidal character saying “I will live for you”. Now that’s a dynamic I can sink my teeth into.

[mousidy]

now how about a functionally suicidal character saying "I will sell hot dogs for you"

[mousidy]

[bisthefairy]

Hotdog vender lays down their life to protect their suicidal partner, who then takes over the hotdog stand to carry on their memory...

[maightymai]

[can-i-make-image-descriptions]

[Image IDs: Image #1: Tumblr tag reading: and the hotdog vendor that says 'i would die for you'

Image #2: now imagine a suicidal hot dog vendor. that's right. you should be picturing sans undertale now /End ID]

[lustcannibalism]

they should invent a way for me to do tasks without the mind torture

[lustcannibalism]

there is a world out there I can’t comprehend

[typecasto]

behold, context

[toweringclam]

[mothcub]

It's crazy that social media broadly never adopted the queue, an iconically great Tumblr feature. I love the feeling of hurling posts into a void through which they will later emerge in an orderly fashion.

[dogpuppy]

[irish-american-chan]

Its Nice Out So Today I Will Develop My Theory Of Playing Outside

[cheeso]

shower gel label:  immerse your self in this new   “Me Time” luxury   fruity tooty.    abandon all sense of identity and dissolve  Your memories into this   soothing chemical broth    One billion melons are in this tube… use them wisely

[ludicrouslybad]

guys why is it lowkey thursday today 😭😅

[peelingmandarins]

[ask-crammaster-ham]

[basement-deer]

Oh mein gott its the original fucking post

[marz-galacticrocks]

it feels like im looking at the mona lisa