☆.。:*

abby | 24 | Capricorn blog navigation

[dogpuppy]

[valtsv]

if i could only shrimp like a cat, i feel like i would unlock the secret to inner peace

[valtsv]

shrimp heaven now

[dankmemeuniversity]

[unclefather]

[trevenanl-deactivated20200913]

not even Burt and all of his Bees could save me this time

[sinnamonghoul]

Self care is going into a corn field at night to get abducted by aliens

[kuromilesbian-deactivated202205]

these?? 💕💖💞💖💕💘💘💗💞💘💞💖💖💞💖🌸💕💖💞💖💞💖🌸💕💖💘💕💖💞💕💖💕💖💕🌸💕💖💞💖💞💘💖💗💞💖🌸💗💖💘💗 for u

[weirdlandtv]

Publicity photos of Marilyn Monroe from GENTLEMEN PREFER BLONDES (1953).

[slightmood]

no offense but I’ve been learning how to have fun in dumb circumstances

[slightmood]

I was showering during the storm tonight and the light started flickering violently so I peeked out from the curtain and looked at my cat sitting on the counter and said to her “mrs obama it’s been an honor” and then the power went out

[nyctosaurid]

actually, [animal that isnt a dog] is bad and evil because [behavior that nearly every animal does]

[birdyke-deactivated20191122]

actually, [horse] is bad and evil because [eats flesh]

[oblivionkeeper23]

What diversity actually is:

How Hollywood sees diversity:

[nightmareooze]

I can’t believe people can get the point across with crackers.

[digitalpoltergeist]

Another way Hollywood sees diversity

[taken-for-pomegranted]

I fixed it.

[brie-cheeze]

BITCH HAJXSJJ S.A. NSJSJALAHAJNSJSKANXSNSN

[lilpieceoflilpeep]

[hotboyproblems]

all of these have the same energy

[raitoburasuto-deactivated201904]

Tag yourself, im Skoogeth

[penicillium-pusher]

Naomi loves laying in boxes, but she was sad because this one was too tall for her to lay down AND see us at the same time

So we got creative, and I think she likes the solution

[penicillium-pusher]

Good news everyone!!

Princess baby got an upgrade!!!

She says thank you for all the love 💕

[guy]

this is the type of content i wanna see when i sign onto tumblr dot com

[mjalti]

why does using someone’s name in conversation feel so intimate, like the way a touch feels gentle as someone is fixing ur hair or brushing out a stray strand

[mjalti]

someone: *uses my name to address me* me: oh my God, i am a physical entity… …..

[kimreesesdaughter]

On some real shit, I do not fuck with people who ride those boat things at the carnival. People who get on those do not give a fuck about life, they don’t care about you, ya mama or your kids. They literally have nothing to lose. You don’t care about life so there’s no need for me to fight you because you’re not going to give a damn about my face. 

[kimreesesdaughter]

THIS JOINT!!!!

BITCHHHHHHH. I got on this shit when I was 12. Wasn’t no bar, no protection, nothing in that shit. I didn’t realize until it was too late. You couldn’t pay me to ever get on this shit ever again in my life. We were in Landover, this shit almost smooth flipped my ass to Baltimore. No. Never again. 

[nappyhurrdontcare-deactivated20]

12? I got on this bitch when I was 21 and had my head in my ex’s shoulder the ENTIRE time. Screaming like a bih too. Nope. Never again. I was praying to the gravity gods the entire time.

[neonghostz-deactivated20220823]

?????? All it does is swing back and forth???? I don’t understand the concern??????

[kimreesesdaughter]

[vandigo-deactivated20180131]

centrifugal force keeps you in your seat.

[retired3625ww-deactivated202305]

Centrifugal force isn’t keeping me from crying tho

[sexycraisinthanos]

why is this so funny

[sparreauxchirps]

I just learned the origin of pink lemonade and I need you all to hear this.

So this dude selling concessions at a circus back in like 1857 ran out of lemonade and he needed water to make more, but there wasn’t a stream or water pump, BUT the BAREBACK HORSE RIDER had just washed her pink tights in a bucket of water, staining the water pink. So, being the enterprising fella he was, dude just threw in the lemons and sugar and told everyone it was special strawberry lemonade. Well, the circus patrons saw pink lemonade and thought, “That’s fucking amazing!” and he ended up selling twice as much lemonade than usual.

To reiterate.

This dude sold people sweaty horse crotch water and it was so popular it became an Actual Fucking Thing.

DELICIOUS.

[ct-7567]

Thats pussy babe!