“How are you right there but still so far out of my reach?”
Category: soft angst, no romantic ending
Word count: no clue!
Requested by: myself
Trigger warnings: none
Premise: Zanka Nijiku adores you, and to him? You're like the sphere. Just a beautiful figment of his imagination that can only be reached in his dreams. And so he pushes you away in reality.
No matter how hard he tried, he wasn't good enough.
That's the simple truth of it. Atleast in his eyes. When he joined the Cleaners — when he saw you, he loved you from the start. A cruel sense of yearning that tormented him from the inside out.
You were kind.
You were too fucking kind to trash like him.
When he first came to HQ and stumbled, clutching his assistaff like the only good thing he had in this world and you approached with your hand outstretched and willing to get to know him? He knew from that moment alone he was hooked. But you were a natural talent, you were everything he wasn't and existed on an entirely different plane than him.
Nothing could change that.
The boy stared at his ceiling late in the night, seeing you in every groove the ceiling had to offer; you haunted him.
He grimaced as he thought of the earlier encounters of that day, knowing he pushed you away. Why? Why did he do that?? He wanted nothing more than to just love you and make it known but -
...
Right. This is Zanka we're talking about. Communication has never been his thing, not like anything was his thing.
“Zanka?”
You had approached him, seeing him chewing on his thumbnail deep in thought. He worried you sometimes. He never meant to. God, your eyes were softer than any stupid silk he got to sleep on growing up.
He was thinking about you. He always was. Thinking about the ways to confess to you, about how to make himself known to you. You were always so kind despite him always being so rude.
When you reached out, he internally shivered when your hand breached his personal bubble and found solace on his shoulder. “Zanka, is everything alright? Me and Enjin were starting to get a bit worried, y'know-?”
“Everything is fine. You don't have to butt into everyone's business, y'know." Zanka defensively responded, blue eyes sharp as a huff escaped from his nose.
The way you flinched back hurt more than anything else.
He wanted to apologize, he really did — but he stayed silent. He always did.
So why did you always look at him like that?
Why did you always look at him like he was more than just some stray Enjin brought in?
You cleared your throat, offering a nervous smile as you stood and prepared to leave. “Alright, alright. Chill out Mr. Blues. I'm going.”
Please stay.
But you left, leaving him in the dining hall.
Despite being in a room full of people, he felt so alone.
The memories of just today make him scoff, bringing his large hands to his face while gritting his teeth. “You're such an idiot, Zanka.. why do you always have to go and screw things up??”
He sighed, arms going slack as they fell to his slender sides. Most people on the ground were thin, due to malnutrition. Hardly any soil to grow food on or foster livestock.
You were as perfect as what he imagined the sphere to be.
With blossoming flowers.
And non polluted streets.
You were right there.
“Every damn time I get closer to you, somehow you feel further away.” Zanka murmured to no one in particular, glancing over at his assistaff — beside him like always.
The Nijiku sat up, gently taking the large stick into his hands as he spoke to it softly. It was like the one thing that could understand him.
It felt like he was right back in that well again. An endless, deep well that carried the scent of your perfume with you nowhere in sight.
Maybe tomorrow he could talk to you and apologize, tell you how he really feels.
Do you have any words you read in a fic or book, that were pronounced a certain way in your mind, only to find out it sounds nothing like you envisioned it?
I just learned "chitin" is pronounced with a "k" sound at the begging... I've been saying "shee-teen" my whole life
.
Chitin is pronounced kitin?
I was gonna say "archetype" because for a long time I pronounced it as "ar-ch-uh-type"
Is that... Transformers I spot? Gasp. Bumble has infected you with the automobile autism
- citrus lullabies
omg hi Citrus!!!
and Transformers actually used to be a fandom I was in when I was a kid! My friends being into it made me into it again ehehehehe. It’s been fun to explore this fandom again as an adult!
Trigger warnings: ... Shidou. Also, none of the numbers in this are real
Premise: Shidou Ryusei, your boyfriend, got a hold of a cellphone while in blue lock. Luckily for you, he remembered your number!! (Or unlucky, depending on how you see it)
Things are.. boring, to say the least. Without Shidou constantly nagging you to play soccer with him or do anything exciting, you didn't really feel much motivation to do anything that could possibly cure your boredom.
Ever since he joined that Blue Lock program, you haven't heard from him. The peace and quiet was nice at first – but things just feel off without Ryusei. You hoped he would get out soon, or at least get into some form of contact with you.
Same old boring routine since he left.
Wake up.
Brush your teeth.
Shower.
Eat.
Go about your day.
Eat.
Brush your teeth.
Sleep.
And repeat.
At least you had some of his clothes left behind to sleep in, even if they were stained with bleach and pink hair dye. Anything was better than nothing.. atleast his cologne isn't there to practically make you gag. And with him being gone, you had the opportunity to replace it! Good things can come out of situations like this.
Your eyes began to drift, and you were about to repeat the cycle until —
Mrow!
.. right. Your boyfriend changed your notification noise to a cat meowing before he left. Whatever the message was, it could wait until morning.
Mrow!
Mrow!
Mrow!
Or maybe not. With an irritated sigh, you pick up your phone – squinting at the bright contrast to your dark bedroom. An unknown number?
+03-1234-5677
“yoo-hoooooo!!"
"u up sleepyhead?"
"it's Shidou bbbyyyy I got a phone"
"ignoring me? Rude"
Huh?
Shidou? Actually messaging??
You rub your eyes, sitting up as his oversized shirt fell over your shoulder a bit in the process. You messaged back, fingers tapping against the screen as you brought your knees to your chest.
+03-4567-8911
"? Shidou???"
"where on earth have you been??"
Without much delay, he immediately responded with a picture of himself with his tongue out and that huge cocky grin on his face. Yep. Definitely Shidou. You add his contact, watching him respond again.
Shidou 2.0
"hell yeas it's me sugar!"
"I found a phone just laying around, finders keepers"
Yep. Definitely Shidou. Adjusting your shirt, you reach over and turn your light on – rubbing the sleep out of your eyes as you smiled down at your screen.
You
"someone's probably looking for that, y'know"
"you can't just claim finders keepers on everything"
As much as you loved him, he really was a devil. You waited for him to say something else, and he sent back an angel emoji. Typical.
Shidou 2.0
"too late!"
"babes, it's so fun here"
"soooo many talented soccer players.."
"kind of turns me on ngl"
Andddd, there it was. Not a single normal interaction can be had with your boyfriend, can it? You shake your head and reach back out, immediately turning your light back off.
You
"and that's my cue to go to bed"
"goodnight you freak"
Shidou 2.0
"NOOOOOO"
"CME BACK"
"you're so cruel to me :("
"keep being cruel tho hehe"
You quickly muted your phone, groaning as you prepared to see all the spam he was surely going to give you first thing in the morning. Sleep first. Spam later.
why don't you write for Poppy Playtime anymore??/genq
Good morning!
I don't write for Poppy Playtime anymore for a couple reasons
1. I.. am not caught up in the fandom. Haven't watched any of the new chapters, not even the frowning critters
2. Interest changes!! Don't get me wrong, I still love The Smiling Critters and Kissy Missy and galore with my heart - but it's not my hugest interest anymore.
3. The fandom was? So toxic when I was writing for it?? For no reason whatsoever, at that.. it was like the fnaf fandom all over again 💔
Maybe in the future I'll be down to write for it again?
