Abusive parents will often attempt (and succeed) to hold their adult children hostage. This is done by a line of sabotage, destruction of confidence, destroying chances for independence, demanding adults to live in the environment of child-like surveillance, isolation from support, catastrophizing, denying access to survival skills, money, healthcare, and generally keeping the person so badly traumatized they will be physically and psychologically unable to support themselves. This is even done to disabled and mentally ill individuals.
These are the signs it’s happening to you:
I’m told I’m incompetent, ill, useless, nobody will want to hire me or help me survive
I’m told to be grateful I’m allowed to eat and sleep
I’m blamed for my mental illness/sickness and berated for it
I’m being monitored and all privacy is denied to me; I have to keep a report of my activities, or I am gps tracked by parents
I’m disabled but heavily discouraged or denied to ask for gvt assistance to gain independence
Any independent action from my side that could lead to me gaining support, stability, new skills or connections, is being used to ridicule and humiliate me, so I feel stupid for even trying
I’m not allowed proper clothing for public appearances
My appearance/habits are being criticized to the point I always feel anxiety over what other people must think of me
They’re refusing me transport to wherever I need to be in order to find work/educate, or use it as blackmail if they do end up letting me go
I’m denied or heavily discouraged from getting medical assistance or tools that would help me function, or I was so neglected I learned to ignore all my medical needs until it’s life or death
I’m not allowed to make food when I want to, and they refuse to teach me how to cook
There’s always reasons why I’m not allowed to learn to drive or have a vehicle at my disposal
I’m not allowed to own any big amount of money or carry money with me
Some of my property/papers are locked and I can’t get to them
I get berated for putting a toe out of line and am expected to exist for my family’s convenience only; I’m accused of being selfish if I do anything for myself
My siblings or pets are being held hostage if I leave, I feel responsible for them
I’m being told terrifying scenarios that would happen to me if I left
I’m not allowed to have a job, or I’m heavily discouraged from working for anyone but parents
I was stopped by parents from finishing my education
Whenever I’m on the brink of gaining a skill or a job, or support, inevitably some drama happens to prevent it
My accomplishments are treated as trash and not considered accomplishments. I am not celebrated or encouraged to grow beyond what is convenient to keep me home
If you’re going thru any of these, know that it is not your fault you’re still being held at home; it was made impossible for you to live your life freely. This is not your failure, not a proof of your incompetence or stupidity, or your lack of ability to survive, you are being held hostage, and to do this to you is in fact, inhumane.
There is a person hidden inside you perfectly capable of independence, who could thrive and live a happy, free life without these people standing in your way. If you were in any way incapable, they wouldn’t have to do any of the above to keep you hostage, they wouldn’t have to sabotage anything. The reason they do all this is they know you’d be able to escape otherwise, and they fear it. Stay strong and bide your time, gather support and don’t lose faith.
You were failed by your family, and your society, you were not nurtured or raised for freedom and happiness, but for servitude and hostility; it is not right. You are a valuable and important part of society, whether you’re allowed to feel that way or not. Your worth will never be less than any other human on this planet.
hi! carey means needs help still - he's the voice actor for frylock in aqua teen hunger force! adult swim screwed him badly and pays no residuals and barely paid him during the show's run. he has heart failure and survives on con earnings, plushie sales, and donations while waiting for disability to get back to him. posts used to make the rounds for him, but haven't in a while, so i wanted to make a new post!
if you'd rather buy a plushie - here's the shop he and his wife run!
based on your rising sign (but you can also read for sun & moon for secondary info)
On April 25th 2026, Uranus shifts back into Gemini. This will shift our perspectives, the way we think, process, relate, and connect with others. Because this is Gemini energy, we can expect mental disruption, intellectual rebellion, information overload, rapidly building new skills or technology, etc. This time period will shape the way we address fractured narratives, stories, and morals to finally see/expose the truth.
Gemini rules the way that we think, speak, write, learn, and how we get along with or communicate with our siblings, neighbors, and local environment. Gemini also rules our daily movement, so a lot of us will develop new work out routines, routes to school/work, or generally becoming more aware of the safe and how our bodies feel. Gemini also rules the media, so you can generally expect to see a lot of gossip, “tea”, scandals, and even slander, on a grand scale.
When Uranus is in the mix, we have to remember that Uranus isn’t exactly here to “improve” the conditions of the house it lands in gracefully. Uranus isn’t the planet of “let me hold your hand through the fire” — it’s more like the “here’s the gasoline. Either you light the terrible situation on fire and FIX it, or I WILL.” Uranus is going to electrify and destabilize whatever is not working in your life. Uranus will speed this change up by completely interjecting (sometimes in unfavorable ways) to liberate you from whatever old pattern that’s been holding you back. Uranus makes the conditions so unbearable that change is a must.
Uranus in Gemini is going to make people feel more restless, and bored with the way things have always been. A lot of people might want to do things on a whim, and others might try to seek moments of virality online. People are going to be less willing to “obey” old systems, and may want to tear them down instead. Expect more chaos and less obedience. More mental stimulation and less inauthentic conversations. More innovation and less aspiring to follow the status quo. Fashion will change and what we find “beautiful” will change on a societal scale. One of the biggest themes for this transit will be that people will stop following one set of narrow and restrictive rules. They will begin to live through their curiosities, principals, interests, and identities all at once.
Let’s take a look at how this transit will affect you, based on your rising sign.
🕷️✨LONG POST AHEAD✨🕷️
Gemini Rising — Uranus transiting 1H
Oh y’all could expect to glow up major during this time. With Uranus here, you can expect to undergo changes to your identity, body / body image, self-expression, and general direction in your life. Usually under this transit, people often become visibly different, harder to really “pin” or figure out, and generally feel more of sense to chase authenticity. You might notice a change in your demeanor or personality. If you were more of a shy person before, this transit could make you more social and the opposite can be true too. Your voice may change as well, or the way you emphasize certain words. This transit is important for you as a Gemini rising because you are being pushed into a whole identity makeover. You might realize that a lot of your identity has been intertwined with being in survival mode to be understood, liked, and accepted by others so you might find that working on yourself is also very healing. Uranus here is asking you, “what can really go wrong if you stop watering yourself down?” and you can want to address this question by challenging your limited fashion sense by trying new looks, new haircuts/styles, or by mindfully working on your nervous system and body healing. You might just generally feel like you’re outgrowing your old ways, tone, social circles, and the version of you that you created to be accepted. Watch out for doing too much during this time, though. You can’t grow a six pack over night and you will not become a new person in a month, it is not plausible. Be cautious of taking on too many self-improvement projects, otherwise your efforts and work will not be rooted and will not last.
Cancer rising — Uranus transiting 12H
This is going to be a time of a total reconstruction of your mental health and well-being (or the opportunity to). Uranus transiting the 12th house is sort of gonna cause your brain to go rogue for a bit until you friggin’ fix it. If you have been repressing thoughts, feelings, emotions, and trauma, these things will start resurfacing and in all kinds of ways. You will start dreaming about these things, you will feel a nervous or unsettling energy stored in your body due to these things, and you might just speak your mind more boldly. This transit is not super hard, but it’s not like a walk in the park either. Just watch out because with this transit, you can catch yourself switching your belief systems, thoughts, and logic over night, or you might catch yourself saying, thinking, or feeling stuff you didn’t even know you believed. These are all of the things that are bubbling up from your subconscious, waiting to be processed. Uranus here will rewire your dialogue, and with gemini ruling the ways we think and make meaning, uranus will also rewire your internal dialogue and how you speak to yourself. You might stop over explaining, or anxiously reacting. You could also experience a change to your spiritual & metaphysical beliefs entirely. Some will discover a passion for the occult, esoteric arts, astrology, etc., and others will heal their relationship with God, Gaia, etc. These events will shape your new core values. Be wary of substance abuse as it relates to unconscious impulsivity — Uranus in 12H deals with substance abuse that’s driven by impulsive behavior. Also be aware that you will notice people disparaging you, judging you, and “becoming” enemies out of the blue. 12H is about hidden enemies, and with gemini & uranus in the mix, these people are closer (and sooo random) to you than you think.
Leo Rising — Uranus transiting 11H
This is going to be a time of growth pertaining to your friends, groups, and social circles. With Uranus transiting your 11H, you may become more aware of the desire you have to make more meaningful connections. This transit is not just about you making a new group of friends, or getting on with new people. You will also finally be able to process the trauma, hurt, and pain from past friendships and close connections, and alchemize that pain to bring in healthier relationships. This is also going to be a really great time to work on philanthropic work, or to push out projects that have been on your mind for a very long time. The 11H also talks about dreams/manifestations / the future, so a lot of you can really experience your wildest dreams coming to life. I find that having this transit can bring spurts of random luck into your life so it's always a good idea to chase your goals or an idea the second it pops up in your head rather than letting it dissipate, and letting somebody else catch it out there in the ethers. Stepping into leadership roles is very highly likely with this transit but it's also just as important to collaborate with others. You might find yourself in hard situations where collaboration feels limited or restricted somehow, but the point and goal of those situations essentially involves breaking through the need to be independent and accepting help from others. Prior to this transit, you could have felt like you had to do everything to keep the production going so to say. You don't have to do that anymore and you can't. Uranus will make it so that you need to embrace community and collaboration. The 11th house deals with the masses yes but on a smaller scale, this transit is going to bring some tension between coworkers, close friends and the people who genuinely know you the most. During this time you might also make lifelong friendships with your co-workers or with new people that come into your life with the intention of bettering your life. If you let yourself be open to meeting new people and stepping into some extroverted situations, you can totally transform your social power and social standing. If at the beginning of the transit you don't have any friends and would consider yourself a loner, you have the capability of being somebody who has a rich, fulfilling, loving and trusting friend group or support system. Be aware of overextending yourself and trying to be a “yes” man/woman/person just for the sake of having friends or community. Your energy will be a lot more sensitive during this time so it's important to keep up with spiritual hygiene as well as meditating frequently to release others’ energy.
Virgo rising — Uranus transiting 10H
This transit is going to completely change your reputation. This could be for the better or for the worst and I think that your natal chart as it aspects the transit chart would really show you how that plays out, but your social status might not be the same as it was at the beginning of this transit. You could undergo a major career change as expected with the 10th house but this could also just be that you become more “in charge” of your own professional path and maybe you decide to take all that you've learned from working for other people and build a solo practice. On top of your social status/career reputation being changed, you also have to consider your public image will change with that as well. Your public opinion will change. If you are an honest person with no murky moral standing, you should find this transit to be very empowering and it should really help build your confidence, self-image, and business. However, if you are the kind of person to find yourself in controversy or to do things that might be underminded, these things will come to the surface during this transit. You will not be allowed to hide from your past if you have one because everything in the 10th house sort of feels like it is under a microscope and magnetized for the masses to watch. Consider this as a warning if need be: if you don't want people judging you or talking about it, then don't do it. If you happen to find yourself growing or becoming more successful during this transit, there will be more people looking to oppose your success. The 10H is also about legacy and even the parental energy that we give off. On a smaller scale, this could be a time where you really become the parent you have always wanted to become through discipline and structure. But this could also mean that something that you do or create during this transit will set a foundation for a stable future.
Libra rising — Uranus transiting 9H
There is going to be a sudden change in your belief system, Libra risings. I feel like certain events, and history will propel you to want to make a major change in the way that you relate to others, and your belief systems in terms of if you are a religious or spiritual person, etc. because this is the 9th house, you could possibly travel a lot during this transit and this is when you'll have these spiritual Awakenings or epiphanies that will make you realize that you want to just be different. Prior to this transit, you might have felt very isolated and stuff so during this transit you will probably feel compelled to get out there and explore. Travel is highly favorable for both your emotional well-being and your spiritual / religious evolution. But more info on spiritual awakenings. You will become more sensitive to energy, will feel more connected to god, and will even receive spiritual messages, downloads, and whispers from beyond. It is important to remain grounded because if you don't have anything in your natal chart that suggests you are spiritually sensitive, this could be really scary. Because of this, your old belief systems are going to start feeling really fake and you are going to want to find your own path to truth. You are going to want to completely deconstruct your religious trauma or your complicated relationship with religion and your morals. It's also a great time to strengthen your education so you might find yourself going back to college or pursuing a higher level degree. You might find it difficult to stick with college if you are already in college, or you might find yourself extending your time spent in college due to life's circumstances. For instance, you could be a forever student during this time… spending multiple years in college rather than the four traditional years because you have a family, or multiple jobs and obligations, etc. You will be craving the desire to learn something different and to grow with the knowledge that you learned. Essentially it's almost like there's going to be a need to get out of your skin and be somebody else but not because you don't love yourself, it's because you do. You want better and life will propel you to want to move forward in the direction where you are your most evolved, healed and spiritually enlightened self. You're not bypassing anything and you definitely should not as that is a warning with this transit. But you are trying to change during this time, which includes letting go of all dissociating vices (drinking, smoking, partying, etc). While this time can feel very somber and sobering, I think you will also prefer the version that you become when you nurture the person you actually want to be and let go of the person that you never want to be.
Scorpio rising — Uranus transiting 8H
Expect some serious or sudden emotion shifts. With Uranus transiting your 8th house, your concept of control is being disrupted in every way possible. This is only a possibility, but you could come across situations that will leave you feeling completely out of control and Uranus wants you to sit with that discomfort and figure out how to work with the energy you're given, rather than being combative. As a Scorpio rising, it's not really in your nature to just give up control so this is not going to be easy. The issue is that Uranus is coming into this house and not caring about what you are comfortable with or not, Uranus will make things change unexpectedly and you will notice how your environment is affected from those changes. For instance, people might start acting funny towards you, or weird, or unpredictable, unstable etc. you might find that a lot of these people have ill will or secret animosity towards you as well and because Uranus is at play, it's usually coming from somewhere completely unexpected. Because it is landing in eighth house, it is usually people that you are the most intimate with or trust the most. You should expect sudden changes in your relationships, your business partnerships, and your financial situation. You might also be presented with a lot of opportunities to sign contracts or you might be put in situations where faulty or wonky opportunities come in your path. During this transit you'll experience a lot of karma that's tied to your money, finances or shared finances, business opportunities and deals, and savings. There's definitely a need to be more mindful and aware of your signatures and the things you are signing or agreeing to. You can definitely fall victim of a money scheme or could make a poor investment on a whim if you are acting impulsively during this time. This transit for you could just feel like a lot of ups and downs if I'm honest with you. You could go through very good financial periods in your life, and you can go through hardships. It does always feel like an extreme of one or the other if you aren't actively trying to balance these areas out in your life. One final note: your faith in people will likely be tested, and you will need to use discernment more than before.
Sagittarius rising — Uranus transiting 7H
Your relationships are definitely going to change during this transit. When Uranus transits the 7H, Uranus is going to make relationships feel unpredictable by randomly making people leave your life are bringing new people in your life, testing your boundaries in interpersonal relationships, or people acting boldly, etc. this can look like ending a long-term relationship that you thought would be lifelong and deciding to be single for a while. It could be backing out of contracts with business partners that you are unsure of, or signing on to business partnerships. This is going to be a important time of agreements and a lot of your decision making is going to feel very karmic in nature. This could be a favorable time for you if you are open and willing to redefine what commitment looks like to you. You might go through a breakup that stung so bad that it led to a spiritual awakening and you might develop stronger boundaries from it. You might spend a lot of time alone or single thinking about the kind of relationships and people you want in your life. The bottom line though, is that you know that your relationships can't be the same or like it was prior to this transit. It wasn't satisfying. On the subject of relationships, you can have a plethora during this time. A lot of them could be very short lived like fast flings or hookups, some of them could be summer romances, or could last for a season or two. These relationships are all really bent to teach you a thing or two about yourself as they act as mirrors. It's not that it is impossible to have a serious relationship because nothing is impossible but the conditions of this transit make it a bit difficult connections to stick right away because there are lessons that need to be learned regarding commitments, communication, and balance within a dynamic. The truth is that you might just realize that you were never good at relationships and that you need a break. Outside of relationships, you can expect more controversy surrounding your name and even more adversaries on any more public level. The seventh house is the house of open enemies so these people could be very upfront about their disdain for you and they could attack you about your differences, including your looks & accomplishments. Don't let them steer you off of your path.
Capricorn Rising — Uranus transiting 6H
Oh, this is just gonna shake up your daily life entirely. When Uranus is in the 6th house, we typically see a disruption in our day-to-day routines and what we are comfortable with. Sometimes there could be disruptions with our health, our pets, our regimes etc. Uranus is disrupting these routines to break toxic / bad habits that are keeping you stuck. Something that you are doing on a regular basis is not for your greatest good and Uranus is going to remove that vise and make you address whatever it is that you are avoiding. Especially if it is getting something done. Throughout this transit, you might just feel like something that you are doing on a regular basis is not stable or reliable. You might find that you are physically weaker or tired and this might propel you to make a sudden change in your health Journey or work out more. What once felt comfortable — a consistent and reliable daily routine — will start feeling like a punishment or consequence and this is because Gemini does not like to have a consistent type of schedule. This transit is wanting to make you more flexible because when you're more flexible you become indispensable. You can take on more and have the ability to preserve more energy. Now because this is in your sixth house, you might not have the clarity to get yourself out of a rut right away but when you get that clarity, you're going to move fast and you're going to make those changes immediately. Sometimes it takes us a little bit of time to realize that things really aren't okay and that we need to make changes, but my bit of advice is to not wait too long so that it doesn't manifest into physical ailments, sickness, autoimmune diseases etc. Be more flexible so that you can give yourself a break, but don't avoid the things that are hard to deal with.
Aquarius Rising — Uranus transiting 5H
I think that you guys are probably the luckiest of the bunch because this transit could be really fun for you. When Uranus is in the 5th house, Uranus is disrupting your joy, creativity, fun, and dating life. This of course can play out in a lot of different ways so take this as it resonates with your specific chart and situation, but if you find that you are more introverted and suppress these aspects of your life, this transit is going to bring in scenarios in which you will have to combat your fears and try to enjoy yourself lol. You're going to want to stop hiding from yourself and put yourself out there and date the kinds of people you want to date, go to the places you want to go to, do things on your own without feeling like you have to surround yourself with people just to have a good time, etc. If you feel like you have been suppressed or kept away from having a good time in life, this transit is wanting you to indulge in a little Joy. Now of course on the flip side, those who struggle with having too much fun might find this time to be a bit somber. You will be pulled away from scenarios and situations in which you “do too much” or have too much fun / come irresponsible. For you, this could be a time to withdraw from getting attention externally and pouring back into yourself through creativity and focusing on projects. Nonetheless, your identity will definitely shift during this time and you're going to value more of what is important to you. You are going to spend more time thinking about your childhood as well, and how your childhood has shaped you into the person that you are now. I also see that a good portion of this transit could be spent taking care of children or building strong bonds with children, having children, trying to morph your child's childhood into something that was nothing like yours, etc. This is why I say that this is a very favorable transit because there's not too much going on that could go wrong but that will depend on your chart of course.
Pisces Rising — Uranus transiting 4H
This one is tricky, and here is why. When Uranus is close to or crosses your IC, it can cause sudden, unpredictable, and often disruptive changes to your home or family life. Your IC represents your roots, home, family and even your emotional security. I will not fear monger here, but situations that will make you have to quickly make difficult decisions can come up with this transit specifically regarding security in terms of stability, your home and family. Some scenarios I have seen for people were that they felt disconnected or detached from their family during this time, somewhat estranged, somewhat no contact, etc. You can experience situations that prompt you to move out of your family home and sometimes these things can be out of your control. Think freak accidents, think sudden loss of income, etc. But this is not going to be true for everybody, on a smaller scale a lot of people with this transit could really focus on creating the home and domestic life of their dreams, one that is completely different from the one that they inherited. This is also a very spooky time if you ask me as you will feel very connected to your ancestry or ancestors. You might also develop an interest in the occult or occult practices, or ancestral magic, etc. but to be clear, decided and unpredictable changes mostly come around whenever Uranus is conjuncting your IC or very close to your IC so it'll depend on what your chart looks like which will determine when you will experience these changes. For some, you might just decide that you're tired of the same old environment and you want to move. You might decide that the traditional ways of purchasing a home it's just not for you and you'd rather rent houses or apartments and travel, etc. A lot of You will choose a path that feels out of the ordinary for you or for what is expected for you. And that's okay. Just expect a lot of change, expect to not look at your parents or close family members the same way, expect to have emotional upheavals and shifts throughout this transit, and just expect to feel differently by the end of it!
Aries Rising — Uranus transiting 3H
The way that you think and communicate is getting a major upgrade right now. When Uranus transits the 3H, you can expect a shift in your mindset, communication style, thought processes, etc. You can also expect to deal with minor issues with people in your neighborhood, family members as in siblings and cousins, etc. you could have said in realizations or things just “clicking” when it comes to toxic or harmful dynamics with your siblings or your cousins etc. your mind is going to change about what was once really important to you. Suddenly, you might not feel the need to hold back or bite your tongue when you want to tell the truth. You might embody a boldness to you that others are a little thrown off by but it's important for you to speak confidently and to speak your Truth at this time. It's almost like a filter will be pulled off of your tongue and you I going to say what you have needed to say for a very long time! Think of your mind on steroids for the Long haul of this transit. You might struggle with impulse control especially when it comes to saying what's on your mind and you might really need to learn when it's time to speak up and when it's time to shut up because there is an art to communicating effectively and throughout this transit, you will learn how to do just that. It's also going to be a very creative time for you so you might be really into creative writing, which could lead you to writing a book or producing music etc. This is because your mind is going to become very lit up with different ideas throughout this whole transit! Truth telling is going to be very important to you as well especially if this is something that you have been suppressing within yourself. You are going to remove the filter and the need to bite your tongue about things that once harmed you but again it's very important that you do so in a healthy way or in a way that doesn't jeopardize yourself. On top of your thinking changing, your voice is just going to change as well, I mean you might literally sound different by the end of this transit! Or people are just going to be listening to you more, this is a good time to put yourself out there as you can gain a lot of social media attention. Just be careful though especially regarding travel, and be careful if you are accident prone because I feel like clumsiness is huge with this transit. But no matter what, trust your intuition and remember that the only thing you can consistently rely on is change itself.
Taurus Rising — Uranus transiting 2H
This transit is going to definitely bring some sudden disruptions regarding your finances, assets and other personal belongings or resources. Now Taurus rising, don't freak out, this doesn't necessarily mean that you're going to lose everything remember that we all have free will. But what I am saying is that Uranus is going to change whatever isn't working even if you think it is. For a little while throughout this transit, you might notice or realize that your money feels a bit unstable. Sometimes you have a lot of it, sometimes you don't have enough. This could happen more often than not and it'll keep happening until you realize that something has to change within the ways that you accumulate wealth. If you are somebody with multiple incomes, during this transit you might notice that those things aren't very fruitful or that you're just not enjoying that work anymore. I've noticed that people feel very out of alignment during this transit especially at work and especially regarding their career, and this is because something is not right and needs to be changed. You might ask yourself, “why am I even doing this work? Does it even make me happy?what am I ACTUALLY working for?” and while asking yourself these questions can be very uncomfortable, it is the first step to take to bring in changes and to get back in alignment with your real career goals. The 2H is all about self-worth as well, so you might be realizing that your self-worth or concept of self in general is too tied to material gain and wealth and it is causing you a lot of friction in your life. Sometimes it's not the job that is the problem, it's our approach to the job. It's our expectations from the job. It's the attitudes that we bring to the job. It's working the wrong job because WE ourselves don't have the confidence to go after the jobs that we actually want to go after! So this transit is going to really show you the ways in which you have been standing in your own way and as a Taurus Rising you might not love this reality check, but it's important for you to realize that what you are doing is not working so that you can go and do the right things and actually get what you want! This transit is not a punishment, it is set to put you back on your path but to be realistic and detach yourself from the things that you accumulate. Yes, our valuables are important but we are not our money, we are not what our money buys us, and we are not what we own. You can expect to find a new way of making money, expand your current way of making money and just get more serious about handling business without attaching too many personal feelings two things.
i love my mutuals because we never talk but we still… like… follow each other……….. and i admire that we stick together even tho there is no communication in the slightest………u kno what i mean… hello…
the fact that everyone has distanced themselves from me now that i’m speaking out about how i was raised by nazis who almost murdered me is a really bad sign of what’s to come
people should be rallying around and denouncing fascism/abuse alongside me, but they’re not. they’re pretending they can’t fucking hear me just like they’re pretending fascism isn’t a big deal
there’s a special word for people who go along with fascism, act like it’s no big deal, and distance themselves from antifascists. can you guess what it is? it starts with an F
the fact that everyone has distanced themselves from me now that i’m speaking out about how i was raised by nazis who almost murdered me is a really bad sign of what’s to come
people should be rallying around and denouncing fascism/abuse alongside me, but they’re not. they’re pretending they can’t fucking hear me just like they’re pretending fascism isn’t a big deal
the fact that everyone has distanced themselves from me now that i’m speaking out about how i was raised by nazis who almost murdered me is a really bad sign of what’s to come
“the way other people mistreat you is a reflection of them, so don’t take it personally” well i take it personally that i’m expected to always be the bigger person who swallows disrespect while everyone fucking acts like i’m a demon for holding them accountable. this shit IS personal — not because it’s my responsibility to change people, but because almost everyone knows they can/should do better and still demands me to clean up their messes after they refuse to
and guess what? no one else holds them responsible, either. the other people they come into contact with also let them off the hook 9/10 times. and those same enablers will swing around and insist *i* need to continue to be responsible and calm and mature for no fucking reason aside from how they’re too lazy and cowardly themselves
these types of enablers, who refuse to stand up to shitty/toxic losers and then chide me about “maturity,” will also talk shit on me behind my back. and i’m not allowed to get angry about that, either, or else i’m Not Following Social Rules
it wouldn’t bother me so much if this wasn’t a fucking CONSISTENT PATTERN that always repeats itself. i’m too healed to tolerate it anymore and am better at spotting red flags now, but that doesn’t change the fact that most humans i meet are either shitty/toxic losers or lazy/cowardly enablers. my healing doesn’t help me “let things go” any more easily; it only helps me identify unhealthy behavior faster, which is utterly meaningless in a world where most people would rather die than actively work toward becoming a better person
socially, my only choices are to either mostly self-isolate or brace for gross interactions in group settings (usually just at work now). i have a wonderful partner who’s mature, and a few long-distance friends, but that’s about it. everyone else who “liked me better when i was unhealed” is gone because they never actually liked me at all…and the mutual resentment between us is so intense and pathetic. *i* have reason to resent them because they have the capacity/resources to heal and simply don’t do it. *i* have cause to resent them because my healing revealed their superficially. meanwhile, *they* resent me because they know i’m justifiably disgusted with their avoidance and are simply miffed that i’m shedding light on their immaturity/willful ignorance. this is not an even playing field, so why am i expected to smile and go along with this arrangement the rest of my life in spite of how society won’t fucking treat me with dignity?
it’s one thing when you encounter a misunderstanding one-on-one or in a small group, but it’s another when the pattern repeats itself across the board for decades even after you learn how to set boundaries. it’s one thing to handle a small-scale conflict, which is part of life and normal; it’s another to be typecast and pigeonholed as both The Responsible Burden-Carrier and The Repulsive Truth-Teller by society at large — to be seen as the designated emotional bitchwork receptacle
i thought shit would change for the better once i got away from my abusive family and did intensive therapy, but that process further isolated me from society as much as it improved my physical health. i feel even angrier now than i did pre-escape; the only difference is that i’m now livid with everybody else rather than at myself...and, in a world where mental health discourse is rife with “releasing what you can’t control,” i feel completely stranded knowing i’m STILL quietly expected to accept and metabolize disrespect no matter what that costs me
i’m fucking sick of this rhetoric and how almost nobody questions it. i am not the problem for being livid with a society that left me for dead and continues to ignore/avoid me in order to save face. i’m not the fucking problem for demanding that people should take responsibility for the harm they cause and then getting pissed after they run away and hide from me. why am i still being judged and shamed for being angry over a decade into recovery? why do bystanders balk at me instead of realizing i have a point?
i’m begging you: please stop excusing abuse culture. please stop telling me to calm down. if you’re serious about helping to build a better future, please get angrier at shitty/toxic people and their enablers instead of shutting down truth-tellers and victims like me as a means of evading discomfort
