dead but delicious

•mads, 25•forever a fangirl•

[clemthecustestmonster]

Masterlist

All of these are just my little headcannons and blurbs from my little rat brain

ACOTAR

Cute aggression

Azriel:

The prankster

Cassian:

Bigfoot believer

Bat boys:

How they fly

Hot take 1

Eris:

Know-it-all

Dancing Queen

Schmidty

Tamlin:

He's got that dawg

Scream (1996)

Billy Loomis:

Stu Macher:

Billy and Stu:

Drinking and smoking habits

Driving dynamics

Ted Lasso

Jamie Tartt:

The dancing tart(t)

[daily-daydream]

Non-spicy ways to show Intimacy

Intimacy isn't always just the spicy stuff! Here's a few ways to show it through your characters in a few, simple ways...

Kissing their S/O's hand, knuckles, wrist...bonus points for eye contact!

Speaking of which...eyes. Glances across the room, prolonged eye contact, staring at each other

Tending to the other's wounds/ injuries

Knowing the other's tiny habits

Reaching out to the other when in pain, trouble, ect

Whispering jokes to each other

Carefully wiping off a stain from their clothes or face

Taking care of each other when sick or hurt

Hand over the heart/ ear over the heart just to hear it beat

Pressing their thumb over the pulse point for the same thing

Tracing scars, tattoos, birth marks, freckles

Giving the other something tiny that means a lot, a picture, a shiny rock, a flower

In fantasy settings, helping the other put on/ take off armor...trusting the other to know where daggers, knives, poisons are hidden

Telling each other secrets/ thoughts they've told nobody before

Tucking back the other's hair

Putting a piece of jewelry on the other or letting them borrow clothes

Keeping each other warm in the cold

In cases with chronic illness, letting the other care for/ know symptoms

Brushing, braiding hair, applying skincare, etc.

Nightmare comfort

Wiping away tears

Proximity- sitting near each other, sticking close, standing beside each other while doing a task such as cooking, laundry, painting...

Sharing a book, sitting close enough to read it together

[xanderc-t]

Eris is actively trying to survive.

He can't act soft, he can't act nice, he can't be seen as weak or having a weakness. All the little things he does is because he can't afford to end up getting tortured by Beron. I think Eris is working hard to reach out to his people, and training to stage a coup. Eris has to kill his father, and the more often he gets torture, the more that sets him back. Eris needs the strength to kill Beron. So no I don't think Eris is a bad guy, hes a victim of being related to Beron by blood.

Not only that if he fails, Eris is not the only one whos in danger. HIS MOTHER, HIS BROTHERS, THE AUTUMN COURT FAE ARE IN DANGER. One wrong move and every single person could die. He will die. But only after Beron tortures his brothers and mother in front of him. Let's not forget he never killed Luciens lover. Eris didn't help Mor because if he did, she's bound to the court, and would suffer the same fate as the rest of the Vanserra family. I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL, I REFUSE TO BE DRAGGED OFF OF IT also why tf is there so many important female figures that just remain nameless??? wtf????

[nicnacsnonsense]

I feel so bad for Eris Vanserra; he keeps correctly reading the situation and then having people get mad at him for doing what they wanted him to do.

Mor sleeps with Cassian in the hopes of that ending her engagement with Eris. Eris hears about it and is like, she slept with Cassian? I am ending our engagement. For all we know he gave Mor a fucking wink and thumbs up from across the room as he said it; I doubt she would have noticed or cared regardless.

Mor gets dumped on the Autumn Court border by Keir (and it’s weird that all the blame and anger about this situation seems to be directed at Eris and not Keir, you know the one who actually tortured her). And Eris is like don’t touch her or she’s our responsibility. Hey Mor, checking in, you don’t want to become our responsibility and be forced to live in the Autumn Court, right? And Mor is like I’d rather die, asshole. And Eris is like, got it, roll out boys. And given that we know Eris sent an anonymous tip to Tamlin when Lucien went on the run, it does not seem crazy to assume that after the encounter with Mor, Eris might have secretly sent Azi a note like come get your girl.

And then we have the plan to have Nesta seduce Eris at the ball in order to strengthen his commitment to their alliance. And after he dances with her he goes to Rhysand and is like, hey, I noticed you had Nesta come seduce me and yes, I am in, let’s discuss marriage alliance.

And yet somehow he’s the asshole in these situations. Poor guy.

[mistress-riddle]

some funny/silly headcanons i have for tom since everyone takes him way too seriously…

˖°࿐ he lowkey always looks like he's glaring at someone and it's because a. he has poor eyesight from reading things in really dark settings and b. he stays up way too late which means he gets little hours of sleep so he struggles to stay awake and has to intensely stare at everything in order to focus. (definitely has to wear glasses when he’s older…)

˖°࿐ he's a great ragebaiter but is so easy to ragebait once you get to know him a little better. with that being said, he has soooo many pet peeves that are about very minisicule things. bro is a hater first, a human second.

˖°࿐ a lot of the professors lowkey hate to see tom in their class because he's a know-it-all who will correct them if they say something wrong (it gets to a point where they just look at him after to make sure they're right, it's a great day when he nods)

˖°࿐ tom is a major sweet tooth !! i'm talking there is an unhealthy amount of sugar in his coffee in the mornings, he's always eating some kind of dessert during his meals... he only cuts down on it just so his teeth don't fall out.

˖°࿐ he does not remember peoples names unless they prove to be important to him. he uses descriptors in his head to identify them and it’s usually offensive (for e.g. “boring guy who hasn’t said anything useful probably since he first learned to speak”). honestly, he’s just terrible with names and if you asked him about someone he’d fr go “who?” before his memory gets jogged by a description.

˖°࿐ he thinks he’s very funny and is so tickled by his own jokes. what a corny loser lol, he laughs in his head (and on the outside, he just doesn’t realise it)

˖°࿐ he bruises very easily, please do not bump into him, an elbow to his bicep would make it look like he went to war.

˖°࿐ speaking of war, he’s so good at avoiding and dodging military recruiters. he does “magic” tricks and thinks it’s so funny when they’re baffled at his disappearance. it’s actually a game for him, he’s always thinking of new ways to say “no.”

˖°࿐ he reads every single book in front of him, does not discriminate at all (yes, he’s read jane austen and the brontë sisters, he was bored, give him a break?). could probably cite pages of random things off the top of his head because he’s a fucking loser nerd.

˖°࿐ the first time he smoked, he failed so miserably and ended up choking till his face turned pure red so naturally he had to acquire a whole pack because what do you mean he can’t do something as basic as inhaling? that’s so offensive.

˖°࿐ he’s loathe to admit but he doesn’t like magical hair products, they make his hair look weird so he uses pomade.

˖°࿐ he’s actually pretty good at mimicking people’s accents and voices, he did it at the orphanage to piss the other kids off and it kind of stuck. (guys, he’s sooo mature)

[chartreusevermillion]

Hamlet retelling but it’s Eris trying to kill father to become High Lord

[divenlydecayed-deactivated20260]

Did you hear a new love language just dropped? yeah its crazy. Its called just fuckin biting them.

[i-am-a-lost-girl16]

Eris and his Hounds

I'm not going to lie.. I'm slightly obsessed with Eris and his hounds. @erisweek2023

Eris was given his hounds by his father, though I firmly believe the intent isn’t for comradery or compassion. Beron’s intent in initially giving Eris his hounds as pups is to teach him a lesson in responsibility

Eris, as a young boy initially, is worried about raising the pups. He’s seen his father’s other hunting hounds and how ferocious they could be. The last thing he wants is to be responsible for a number of them. But Beron has made it clear: Either Eris takes care of them or they starve.

The first day in the kennel with them is all about Eris letting the hounds get familiar with him, he starts by just letting his hand hang into the kennel giving each hound the opportunity to sniff him. Once they’ve been exposed to his scent, he takes a small step inside. He braces himself as they swarm him, but his tension quickly drops as various snouts sniff and tickle him. 

That’s how his first few weeks with them go, Eris lets himself get used to each one and lets each dog get used to him. Once he has a feel for their personalities he begins assigning them all their own names (In order: Four females and three males): Roux, Bronwyn, Aster, Gaia, Flint, Jora, and Bruno

Every day he has time set aside to go out and train them, starting with the basic commands of Sit, Stay, Down. Before he advances each of them into more complicated commands.

Eris takes full care of his hounds, he’s up in the morning to take them outside and give them breakfast, he’s back by mid day to run through training with them, and in his free time he will often find himself at their sides. Whether it’s more training or taking them out for longer breaks into the woods. In the evening, before he retires, he makes sure that each dog is alright and in its proper place before he goes to his own room.

Now I think bath time with seven hounds and Eris is a hilarious feat. The exasperated boy will absolutely chase each of them around the bathroom he commandeered for his task, yellow at them and using whatever distraction he possibly can. I think that bath time is the one space that hasn’t changed since the hounds were pups, it has and always will be chaos and Eris loves every single second of it.

By the end of their first year together, he and his hounds had already formed an unbreakable bond. Nobody takes care of Eris’ hounds but him and his hounds are the first thing he allows himself to love fully without fear of hiding it. His hounds answer to nobody but him truly. 

Eris often goes to his hounds for solace, they’re some of the few living creatures that get to see him for who he truly is and each hound has their own special bond with Eris. There are plenty of late nights where he’s snuck to the kennels for comfort and fell asleep alongside them, only to wake up the next morning and have to threaten the nearest servant into silence about it.  

He would never be able to choose a favorite, each hound has their own special spot in his heart and he knows each of their habits.

Roux won’t sleep without burrowing into her blanket several times until it’s up to her standard, Flint and Gaia have been inseparable since birth the only two actual siblings of his hounds and as such they can constantly be found side by side. Brownyn will not share her food and her bowl needs to be several feet from the others at meal times. Bruno hides his treats, Eris once found a stash of several bones hidden in a hole in the wall of his kennel. If it’s raining, Jora will howl and whine in his kennel until he’s given the chance to go out into it (On days like these Eris makes sure Jora gets a few extra minutes outside), and Aster is the kindest heart of them all and absolutely knows she has Eris wrapped around her paw with one sad dog look he can't help but give her an extra treat.

Eris isn’t often found without at least one of the hounds by his side when he’s wandering the Forest House or even other areas of the Autumn Court. There’s no need for a leash amongst them usually, they listen well enough to his commands to stay glued to his side unless otherwise told.

I truly believe that Eris’ hounds are his babies and he spoils them endlessly whenever he can. Wherever Eris goes, his hounds are sure to follow him.

If one of his female hounds got pregnant (or Beron demand that Eris find a stud to breed her with) Eris is the epitome of a mother hen. He’s beside his hound every step of the way threatening every animal physician he can into making sure it goes smoothly. When her pups are set to come, Eris is right by her side helping to deliver them. In the end she has a litter of about four healthy puppies with limited complications but Eris swears that he’s aged another hundred years because of the worry that he went through for his beloved hound and her pups.

I could probably ramble on and on about Eris and his pups but at the end of the day, they are some of the most important things in Eris’ life in my mind.

[clarkslex]

the longer i’m in the smallville fandom as a post superman 2025 watcher the funnier it gets. theres an entire new group of fully grown adults seeing red over a fictional characters treatment when he was literally doomed by the narrative and we knew that going into it. the show started in 2001 and has been over for almost 15 years. and there are new people getting pissed off about it every single day. we’re too old to be doing this to our blood pressure. none of us walked into the movie theater expecting this outcome. how did we get here. and how do we get out of here.

[redstonedust]

normalize being dogshit amateur at your special interests and hyperfocuses. no more autistic savants. yes i am very into that topic no i am not good at it. we exist <3

[butchdogs-md]

you need to understand that i have two sets of headcanons. there's the set of realistic headcanons based on my genuine reading of the show, and then there's me playing pretend with my dolls.

[clemthecustestmonster]

Eris gives me Schmidt from New Girl vibes. Obviously to the outside world he is cold, and calculating, but i feel like if you actually knew him he’d be such a dramatic little organized, germaphobe, clean freak. He has systems for everything, and when he gets to a point in his life where he starts building a small circle of his own where he can be more himself, I think he will stand there, eye twitching, as a new friend unknowingly messes up one of his systems slightly.

Eris is definitely a man who uses tongs for serving himself food at social functions and dies a little inside when he sees someone just grab food with their hands.

[allthingswhumpyandangsty]

Anyone and everyone CAN write. The world’s most skilled writer didn’t start off skilled. The key is that they practice hard by writing a lot.

As long as you write, you are practicing your craft and you are getting better at writing. But you will never get anywhere if you let AI write for you.

[silver-flames-of-dusk]

Gwyn, Emerie, Az, the Valkyries, Clotho, the priestesses, Eris, Helion, Bryce, Ember, and Randall kinda prove that Nesta's not the problem.

[clemthecustestmonster]

In the car with Billy and Stu

this is for billy x stu x reader. it can be romantic or besties, your choice.

Billy is always the driver. He speeds a bit, but still uses his blinker and can merge properly (and gets incredibly mad if someone else on the road doesn’t).

Billy yells in the car and claims it is "not yelling".

Billy: What a fucking asshole! That was yellow!

You: Billy, it's fine, you're fine. They didn't hit you or anything. Billy: Not the point! They're fucking stupid and I am being punished for their lack of brain cells! *Stu is just Laughing in the back without a care in the world*

Billy also refuses to let anyone else choose music. If he is in a particularly grumpy mood the ride will be in silence. No music. No talking. Just silence.

Stu is a terrible driver. You and Billy are genuinely scared for your life, praying for jesus to take the wheel.

When it is (mostly) clear on the road Stu does something called "party driving" which is where he swerves the car to the music. It is terrifying, but half of the fun for him is you and Billy loosing your shit.

He likes to drive with every window down and the music on the absolute loudest volume. He is just having fun and living life while you and Billy are debating whether you should have worn helmets.

No one wants to let Stu drive. He is the absolute last option. He is only allowed to drive if you and Billy are on the verge of death.

When it is just you and Stu, he will actually drive like a normal, safe(ish), driver. He really just likes Billy driving y'all everywhere (and watching Billy loose his shit). It is very much weaponized incompetence, but that is you and Stu's secret. You would both much rather control freak Billy drive instead of critiquing y'alls driving.

You are not a bad driver, but you avoid driving them at all costs.

You avoid driving purely because Billy is the worlds worst backseat driver.

Billy: You're supposed to signal before you change lanes. You: I did. Stu: Yeah, I heard the blink blink sound like four times. Billy: No. You're supposed to use the signal before you move lanes, not as you change it. *You then imagine in great detail pulling out the ghost face mask and giving him a visit*

Any time in a car with them is eventful and makes you wish Woodsboro was a bit more walk-able or that public transportation was more of a thing. But, you do have to admit it is a little bit fun even if it is a little scary, and rage filled (which to be honest, is definitely a regular part of y'alls dynamic)

[clemthecustestmonster]

Dancing Queen

Pairing: Eris Vanserra x gn!reader

Eris has always been an amazing dancer. His talent absolutely shined at every ball making females momentarily interested in him for something other than his name or title. He loved dancing, the way two partners worked to create such an elegant expression, fluid grace. He also was someone raised on rules and expectation, with formal dancing he always knew what the next step was supposed to be, what the guidelines were. He liked that, the known outcome of it all. This is why he so adamantly refused when you brought up this idiotic idea of "free dancing" as you called it. You said it would be "freeing" to just put on music and let your body move whatever way it wants, just feel. Naturally, Eris scoffed at this ridiculous idea.

After your initial conversation about making Eris try this "free dancing" thing, you did not push him to do it again. You have danced like this in front of him. He always found it fascinating, was entranced by it really. You went through a whole range of motions: awkward, goofy, fluid and free, just spinning, leaping, completely lost in the moment without shame. There were no rules, it was just carefree, and Eris wouldn't admit it out loud, but the idea of that had grown on him, and one he was determined to try it.

One night you had a secret rendezvous deep in the woods, far away from the prying eyes of his father and the court. He brought out his small collection of symphonias he had collected over the centuries as usual. After a while of just sitting together, and talking you decided to play one and set to dance with or without him, because this was simply something you liked to do. Tonight was different though, Eris was going to try this "free dancing" you were so found of.

Eris was awkward at first, grumbling that this is stupid despite still trying. You have never seen Eris this grumbly or uncomfortable before, but he was still trying and you couldn't help but find it admirable. You knew Eris, how tightly wound he kept himself, his stress over perception, so seeing him try to shed that even for a second was a beautiful thing to see. You watched for a bit as he fumbled his way through movements.

"Eris, just let the music move you...just like when you're in a ballroom...just this time you don't have a set next step...just relax, feel"

"Doesn't that look like what I'm doing?" He snaps.

You can't help but giggle a little, "Sure, you're doing great, just keep feeling"

He scoffs and kept moving a bit like a foal, seemingly angry at his own bodies stiffness. But soon enough you could see him starting to feel it. Now attentive to the sound of the instruments softly humming from the synomphonia, the way the autumn leaves crinkled underfoot and the wind brushed through the trees.

Soon enough, you see it. He was lost in it. For once giving in to the simplicity of the moment, completely uninhibited, and gods was it a beautiful thing to see. He closes his eyes and watch him move with that grace you see when he's on a dance floor, but now there is a newfound openness in his movements. He looked ethereal, he looked like nature, dancing flame.

He seemed to loose track of time, place, and company for a while, just moving as one song faded into the next. You two always had limited time like this. Rare stolen moments without the threat of Beron hovering over your heads. In general Eris had little time without the weight of his father and expectation, so you were more than happy to spend your time together like this. Sitting, watching as Eris finally let go for a moment.

As soon as the symphonia stopped, so did Eris. He paused, coming back to himself slowly, his eyes swimming with a million different emotions, that cold and calculating mask he seems to live in nowhere to be seen.

"I see why you enjoy this so much...Next time we can dance together" He says fully aware you sat and watched him for most of it.

"Well I don't want to do it now...You looked all magical, and I look like a clumsy child learning to walk" You respond with a jovial smile.

He laughs and suddenly the moment is over, but even still, Eris appears lighter than before like those moments lost in the notes had relieved some of the chronic tension he carries.

That night you left determined to find time for more moments like this. You would not settle for only seeing something that beautiful only once. Your living flame, dancing free.

Authors Note: (If that's what we're calling me. This is my first time writing something like this) I was listening to some Florence and the Machine today and it was such a good fall vibe. It was a tiny bit chilly outside and I imagined our sweet baby Eris letting loose for one second.

I would also like to note this is also inspired by childhood memories. As kids, my sister and I would watch Practical Magical magic a lot with our grandma and we loved the "And I don't want them dancing naked under the full moon!" line. Of course it made us really wanted to dance like little witches in the moonlight. My grandma didn't give a fuck and just put some Stevie Nicks on and let us loose in the yard. It was fun being a half feral witchy kid.

[clemthecustestmonster]

Eris the all knowing

He is an insufferable know-it-all, and bless his heart, he tries to reign it in on your account, but it is so difficult for him.

You say something trivial he knows is incorrect and he is actively using all his willpower to not correct you. The man is there practically twitching, eyes wide open, foaming at the mouth trying not to say anything. "It's no big deal", he tells himself. "It's not like this is a life or death matter, I don't need to correct them". But despite him trying to remain rational, his stubborn know-it-all powers are activating and it is a loosing fight.

y/n: "I just read that newest Draken novel, "The Wandering Widower", and I loved it! I couldn't put it down!"

Eris: (trying to keep his composer despite knowing that "The Wandering Widower" is in fact NOT the authors most recent work. He has gone suspiciously silent and his eye looks like it is twitching) "That's nice. yeah, that was a good book."

y/n: "Eris...just say it"

Eris: (sighs like he has been holding his breath for ages and not immediately correcting you was the most taxing thing he has ever experienced) "Oh, thank Mother! So actually Draken went on hiatus for three decades and in that time wrote a number of novels. Now she has decided to release them, and the publishing house thought it'd be best to release a new one every six months until they have released all the novels she made while on hiatus. So, actually, "The Wandering Widower" was released last January, while the most recent release was "Den of Deception" which was released two months ago" (he looks very pleased with himself afterwards and is winded from the speed in which he shared that)

Eris is self aware enough to know this is an annoying trait. He doesn't want to make you feel stupid, he just happens to know the correct information and needs to share it. It is pretty comical to see him try to hold back though, poor male is trying to be respectful and kind, but he has a deep need to be right even in trivial matters.

You would be surprised by the amount of things Eris knows. A rare creature only found in winter court? A weird magic epidemic with no known cause? A romance novelist? He knows about it. Not just a general idea of what it is, for some reason he knows the novelists publishing company, this creatures mating habits, and what the suspected causes to this weird magic epidemic. If he hears about something he isn't familiar with, he has to learn about it. It's probably from his need to be perfect in his father's eyes, and never look foolish, but it has resulted in his brain being a treasure trove of obscure knowledge and a need to share it.