Free Ass Eats @cocaine-straws - Tumblr Blog

loulooser

Can’t wait to not sleep at all on September 11th

spinostarz

i know ur from the uk(?) but reading this as an american is really really funny

loulooser

why 😭 it’s about twenty one pilots???? Their new album is out sep 12th????

jarsjam

THERE'S TWENTY ONE THIS TIME???

depsidase

pjharvey

there needs to be some kind of tumblr feature for when you see a post and don’t immediately reblog it but then think about it like days or weeks later and want to find it again. some kind of search function maybe

post-dragonifier

🐉💖Get dragonified!💖🐉

drere dreeds to be drome drind of drumblr dreature for dren you dree a drost and don’t drimmediately dreblog it but dren drink drabout it drike drays or dreeks drater and drant to drind it dragain. drome drind of drearch drunction draybe

pjharvey

not to be rude but i think you guys are running out of ideas for gimmick blogs

swamplevel

keep thinking of this tweet and trying to not crack up in front of women

recaged

Dolls to Watch Out For by Tess Scilipoti

virtualgirladvance

fatfemme-inist

If you have a friend that wants to vent to you but doesn't want solutions but you are a solutions-oriented person, may I suggest Silly Solutions (TM)? For instance, whenever my friend complains about the people at her job being dumb, I remind her that if only one of us had studied engineering, we could create a giant hippo robot with laser eyes to destroy them. It fulfills my need to offer a solution, doesn't violate her boundary of not wanting to problem solve, AND it cheers us both up!

demonprincex

my version of this is fucked up solutions..mostly i offer to kill and or call in bomb threats

sophie-frm-mars

My ex would always calm me down when I was feeling horrible about someone by saying stuff like "we should dip them in acid I think", "just chuck em right in the blender" and it always helped

ruinedchildhood

feaftlikeabeaft

I wish depression were an emergency. I wish someone could take one look at how sick I am and go “oh my god, we need to get you to a hospital!” and then when we get there I get rushed into surgery and the surgeons say “it’s a good thing you brought her here when you did, this is a seriously advanced case” and then they put me under and spend the next ten hours pulling metres of long, sticky black strands of gunk out of my body, throwing it immediately into an incinerator so that it can’t infect anyone else. And then they could stitch me back up and I could rest a few days, and when I leave the hospital everyone can see how much better I am and they congratulate me saying “well done, you’ve been so brave, I’m so glad you’re ok. I love you.”

the-uncanny-dag

Sister post to The Vitamin

pukicho

ohg

professionalchaoticdumbass

i was looking up synonyms for tired and seeing these two next to each other gave me whiplash

professionalchaoticdumbass

happy pride month. reblog if you are also fagged out and bushed

pukicho

You're so cool, please never get cancer.

I’ll try

lockhotel

Cancer beam

i-am-a-fish

WHY lS LOWERCASE L THE SAME AS UPPERCASE I

THERE ARE SO MANY POSSlBLE SHAPES AND SYMBOLS WHY DlDN'T THEY JUST COME UP WITH A NEW ONE

bustedlestatdoll

my mom just had a 7cm brain tumor removed and since she's woken up she's been talking nonstop about this dream she had about going to an art gallery full of colourful paintings by a 'homosexual artist' named klimsdorf who was ethereal and wise, both young and old... at first she was convinced he was a real person but after failing to find him online she's accepted he was a figment of her subconscious mind and is now determined to bring him to life via painting his portrait herself. she's 67 and has never drawn in her life. and now this. blorbo from her tumor