Something Witty. Will Figure it out Later. @coffeeshopdragons - Tumblr Blog

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heylsgowt

musthavebeenthecombat

I'm sorry.???

reject-tiefling

@acarefreewind

Okey

willgrahamscock

awesome that you can form a bond through gay sex which neither of you are engaging in, you're just both thinking about it really hard

willgrahamscock

one day you just wake up to 30 dms from your mutual across the world and they're like imagine if these characters were trapped in bikini bottom and they had to fuck or die and you're like, yeah tell me more

aforest2006remaster

concept

a beaded curtain, but instead of beads they’re worms on strings

aforest2006remaster

you know… these guys

fanotastic

Hi op I hope this satisfies your needs.

citrineghost

Needs more worms

I wanna make one of these that is like a literal curtain of worms

No clear strings available to get caught and tangle, I want them nose to ass like some kind of horrible human centipede of worms, covering my doorway

lonevarg

@fanotastic more worms

fanotastic

Aw fuck. Nothing makes you assholes happy.

fanotastic

Fuck you guys.

fanotastic

My fellow fuckers, I present you-

384

fanotastic

Happy Pride Month

The worm curtain is GAY

flootzavut

This commitment to the bit is what tumblr is all about. Happy pride!

thestuffedalligator

I’m going to level with you. I have listened to The Devil Went Down to Georgia for most of my life. We were a country music household, this was a staple of my childhood along with Johnny Cash, Garth Brooks, and that one Chipmunks country album.

I have no idea what “Fire on the mountain run boys run/The Devil's in the house of the rising sun/Chicken in the bread pan picking out dough/Granny does your dog bite no child no” means and at this point I’m too scared to ask.

dementian

For once I can be of assistance.

Each of the lyrics comes from an old-time hickory song for fiddles, and is a lyric from that corresponding song.

"Fire on the Mountain" --> "Fire on the Mountain, run boys run"

Fire On The Mountain - Fiddle Player POV

"The House of the Rising Sun" --> "The Devil's in the house of the rising sun"

House of the Rising Sun

"Ida Red" --> "Chicken in the bread pan peckin' out dough"

Ida Red - Bob Wills & His Texas Playboys

"Granny Will Your Dog Bite" --> "Granny does your dog bite? 'No child, no'."

FTC #149 Granny Will Your Dog Bite

And for your furthered education, The Mountain Whipporwill.

Mountain Whippoorwill (aka How Hillbilly Jim Won the Great Fiddler's Prize)

impossiblepackage

this is the key part of the song, that a lot of people miss. people have this misconception that the contest between Johnny and The Devil is about who is the better fiddle player. but it isn't. its about who is the better fiddler.

in a time before things like radios and record players, every time you heard music was because there was somebody in the room with you playing an instrument. and many, many, many social events involved dancing, which requires music. so, if you're planning any kind of gathering in the american south or appalachia, you need to find a fiddler. and the fiddler's job is to play music that everybody knows and likes and can dance to.

the mistake The Devil makes in his bet with Johnny is that he misinterprets the contest as being about technical ability, so he has this big flashy song. he plays fast and impressively with a band of demons playing unfamiliar instruments in unfamiliar rhythms. he's definitely more skilled at playing than Johnny, and thinks he has it in the bag.

but Johnny wins because the contest is about being the best fiddler. the song uses these lines mentioned above as a shorthand for saying that Johnny is playing these songs. Johnny launches into a set of the most popular songs, played well, and that's what gives him his big win. A good fiddler knows all the hits, and can read the room to know what to play next. The Devil loses because he completely fails to read the room, and doesn't know the right songs.

powerbottombrucespringsteen

butimnotasexyrussian

Reading the replies is giving me anxiety. Listen to me, children, if you are in the US and your company offers a 401k or some other sort of retirement benefit, get in on that shit. I believe most companies will do some sort of match, so for example, if you put in 3% of your paycheck into the 401k, the company will also put in 3% on their end, which means you're getting 6% a year in your retirement fund (not including any stock market gains or losses, which historically has been an average of about +7% a year, even factoring in the years it crashed). Even my grocery store job (ily unions) and the shitty temp agency I worked for for 2 weeks without a college degree offered a 401k. However, if you do not work for a place that offers a 401k, you can sign up for an IRA (individual retirement account) or Roth IRA through a brokerage firm. Mine is through Fidelity.

I didn't think I'd make it past my 20s either, but you know what? Maybe one day you'll wake up and realize damn, I'm 30/40/50. It's easier to put away even $5 a month now and leave it alone to compound interest than it is to wake up one day realizing you're in your 60s and have saved nothing for the future. (Obviously if you can put away more, do.)

And if you do die young, you can name a beneficiary (family, friends, a nonprofit, etc.) for the money you've accumulated in that 401k. This is a good primer. (Shout out to investopedia, which saved my ass more times than I can count in college.)

I also recommend @bitchesgetriches, who are great at explaining financial advice in an easy to understand way.

It's not too late. Better late than never.

bitchesgetriches

Thanks for the shoutout, baby. You're absolutely right: it's never too late to start saving for the future. Even if you think that future is an apocalyptic nightmare landscape, I promise you'll still be better off going into that shitstorm with money. When bad stuff happens, it is always the poorest, most marginalized people who are hurt the most. So if nothing else, prepping for a wealthy future will put you in a position to help others. We talk about that more here:

Season 5, Episode 1: “Why Save for Retirement When the World Is on Fire?”

ashenmind

“Living weapon” covers a lot and all of it is hot

ashenmind

dying-crying-pining

“stabbing crying killing hot” has a fantastic ring to it

kokica1

We always talk about how Stratt is haunted by Grace's screams and cries at night, but what about Carl?

Carl, the guy Grace built an entire hypothesis around.

Carl, the guy that learned to have fun with Grace while doing science.

Carl, the guy that fueled Grace's addiction to Skittles and Twizzlers.

Carl, the guy that was there every step of the way until the end. And then he was forced to stand by and watch as Grace was pinned to the ground, pleading for help, calling for him of all people.

I'm willing to bet Carl is kept awake just as much as Stratt was if not more so, utterly tortured by what he'd done to Grace.

thethirdromana

Putting the term "Catholic guilt" on a high shelf where fandom can't reach it until everyone learns how to identify characters who are very very clearly coded as Protestant.

sonandheirofnothinginparticular

etirabys

oh my goodness, one of dian fossey’s first close up observations with gorillas happened when she was trying to climb a tree to see them better, but so badly that by the time she’d gotten up the entire group had come out of hiding to look at her: “Nearly all members of the group had totally exposed themselves, forgetting about hiding coyly behind foliage screens because it was obvious to them that the observer had been distracted by tree-climbing problems, an activity they could understand.”

argumate

hello, fellow apes

spitoutthedaisyhoratio

The lead up to that sentence is gold:

consistantly-changing

[Image transcript: porch. The group had been day-nesting and sunbathing when I contacted them, but upon my approach they nervously retreated to obscure themselves behind thick foliage. Frustrated but determined to see them better, I decided to climb a tree, not one of my better talents. The tree was particularly slithery and, try as I might, no amount of puffing, pulling, gripping, or clawing succeeded in getting me more than a few feet aboveground. Disgustedly, I was about to give up when Sanwekwe came to my aid by giving one mighty boost to my protruding rump; tears were running from his eyes as he was convulsed in silent laughter. I felt as inept as a baby taking its first step. Finally able to grab on to a conveniently placed branch, I hauled myself up into a respectful semislouch position in the tree about twenty feet from the ground. By this time I naturally assumed that the combined noises of panting, cursing, and branch-breaking made during the initial climbing attempts must have frightened the group on to the next mountain. I was amazed to look around and find that the entire group had returned and were sitting like front row spectators at a sideshow. All that was needed to make the image complete were a few gorilla-sized bags of popcorn and some cotton candy! This was the first live audience I had ever had in my life and certainly the least expected.]

roach-works

imagine some freakish not-a-human alien THING has shown up out of nowhere and is trying to get into your office building to study you. but it has no idea how to get past a revolving door. it tries for three hours. by the time it finally understands the concept of a revolving door and squeeze into the building everyone in the office is crowded into the lobby to watch and call helpful suggestions. it’s conclusively determined that the alien is definitely not a threat, except maybe to itself.

obeliskthetormentorsfeetpics

Addition approved

alexaloraetheris

I love how the gorillas were initially scared of humans, and with poaching history being what it is, rightfully so, and yet they all collectively decided this one ape was completely harmless because you can’t actually be dangerous if you can’t do something a literal baby could do.

alexseanchai

[image: Tumblr tag: #the simian urge to watch someone else parallel park]

cheaphalloweencostume

my least favorite literary smut turn of phrase is when a guy is like “im gonna ruin this pussy” “im gonna wreck this pussy for anyone else” like stop.. thats not yours…!