not today, satan

i am a human

[colcredglass]

ted lasso sexuality hcs

here’s my brutally honest list of sexuality hcs for the characters in ted lasso. if someone isn’t listed, i don’t really feel strongly enough about their sexuality, or their sexuality is explored in canon. disclaimer: i think all of these characters can be hc’ed in a million different ways, but this is me being as honest as possible with what i think works best in congruence with the canon (i also love to say no one in the show is straight, but statistically speaking, there will probably be straight people)

Ted: straight ally (has experimented before and decided it’s not for him, but is also not entirely opposed to dating a man if something changes in the future)

Rebecca: bisexual (heavily male-leaning; hasn’t ever been with a woman before and probably never will, but has some feelings here and there)

Roy: straight ally (hasn’t ever tried anything, might try it once just to see, but not into men; i can see him dating an afab nonbinary person but then breaking up with them cause he realizes the relationship is invalidating and they deserve better)

Jamie: bisexual (might take some time for him to actually date a guy, but has definitely slept with guys before; his crushes on both Keeley and Roy are so real)

Sam: pansexual (sapiosexual lol; just wants someone sappy that he can have deep conversations with, doesn’t matter their gender; i also think he might be on the ace spectrum, in the “doesn’t really go looking for sex, but loves pleasing his partner” kinda way)

Isaac: straight ally (will go to gay clubs with colin and has no clue how to react when men hit on him; has some mild homophobia that he’s trying very hard to work through; listens to audiobooks about supporting your gay friends)

Richard: bisexual (french)

Barbara: lesbian (i can’t remember if she ever mentioned a boyfriend or husband or anything like that, but she’s so clearly into jack and probably has a crush on keeley)

Beard: pansexual (had a crush on ted early in their friendship that he’s gotten over; his backstory is truly wild and i don’t think someone with a life like that cares about gender; i don’t think he’s fully cis either)

Dani: straight ally (his reaction during colin’s coming out scene gave me huge vibes of someone who is maybe a little uncomfortable with talking about gay stuff but is also trying very hard not to seem uncomfortable talking about gay stuff)

Jan: queer (i know they say “he’s not rude, he’s dutch” but let’s be real, he’s autistic, and i think he’s the type that his experience of sexuality is very different from allistic people; mostly sticks with women cause it’s more socially acceptable, but definitely not opposed to being with others)

Nathan: pansexual (heavily female leaning; probably doesn’t realize he’s pan because he just assumes everyone is attracted to everyone and just chooses to date the more socially acceptable gender; too shy to ever hook up with a guy)

[colcredglass]

i managed to stay entirely away from fandom content for 'the pitt' until i finished the show, and let me tell you, i was not prepared for the overwhelming amount of abbot content. like, i get it, but... wow. y'all love that old man, huh

[aropride]

lovely character. i need him to finally break down sobbing clutching his chest like it'll stop the pain crumpling to the floor begging God to either help him or let him die

[lincolnlogger]

This is the ideal male body. You may not like it, but this is what peak performance looks like

[valeriapryanikova]

choose your (secret) fighter

[xbralis]

clethubs au concept: etho is a widower whos finally opening up to love after several years of will-they-wont-they with bdubs, only for his ex-wife to unexpectably return from the grave. together the three of them go on a journey to solve cleo's mysterious murder and also discovery polyamory along the way.

[sherlockggrian]

life series clethubs has possessed me. based on this iconic photo.

[itstweeds]

Coven.

[arloize]

the void

[nunothekitten]

So... that post huh

[frankencain]

from Demian by Hermann Hesse / I Saw The TV Glow (2024) dir. Jane Schoenbrun

[maxanor]

What if she had been telling the truth? What if I really was someone else? Someone beautiful and powerful. Someone buried alive and suffocating to death. Very far away, on the other side of the television screen.

I SAW THE TV GLOW (2024) dir. Jane Schoenbrun

[karmelarts]

so much of the horror genre is informed by the metaphor of queer/transness as monstrousness. especially emphasizing the amount of horror that depends on the audience's repulsion at seeing a human body changing into a new, other body. I Saw the TV Glow is about the horror of NOT transitioning. the horror of static. the horror of looking into yourself and being terrified of what you see. the horror of seeing who you are and choosing to do nothing about it. the horror of looking away. and by god is it terrifying.

[colcredglass]

they should invent a social media that doesnt make me want to kill myself or someone else every time i go on it

[ef-1]

I often think about how Lewis said he personally called so many drivers in 2020 and personally asked them to kneel for BLM. I think about how he said he personally tried to explain the protest to them and answer all their questions. I think about how he felt when so many of them still declined. I think about how he was fined for wearing shirts for BLM. I think about how F1 stopped him from wearing a shirt that simply said "Justice for Breonna Taylor." because F1 wanted to 'de-politicise' the sport. I think about how when they asked Stefano Domenicali, the CEO of F1, about Lewis' activism, he said F1 is not racist and he does not "Percieve" the racism Lewis is talking about.

I think about how Nelson Piquet, who was fined $1 million for racially abusing Lewis on video was *banned* from the paddock. I think about how he just showed up to the paddock today clearly wearing a paddock pass and hanging out outside of Red Bull, not even hiding inside.

I think how this is all so symptomatic of how rotten to the core F1 is. How Lewis being the most successful driver in the history of the sport did not spare him from this.

[barbiehelmet]

the dutch passport is literally the 3rd strongest in the world. i don't think i need to mention that they're also colonizers. for max verstappen's dumb white ass to say he has the wrong passport at a time in the world when so many countries are anti-immigration and there is an insane amount of discrimination based on one's passport is not only stupid but really fucking gross. to imply he's being discriminated against for it for getting his first penalty in literal years is INSANE. i know it's too much to expect him to give a shit about what's happening in the world, but his stans defending him is disgusting as fuck. a white european man declaring that he got a rightfully given penalty due to having the wrong passport is disgusting i don't care what anyone says.

[colcredglass]

let me get this straight. there's been a genocide ravaging the middle east for the past year with no sign of stopping, climate change is swallowing entire cities whole, and a fascist that wants to criminalize my existence might win this upcoming election. and i'm just supposed to... go to class? eat three meals a day? do my laundry? while the entire world is dying? how tf is zoloft meant to help me deal with this.

[lesbinewren]

we need to make using chatgpt embarrassing bc sorry it really is. what do you mean you can’t write an email