ColdOpenADHDdadjoke @coldopenadhddadjoke - Tumblr Blog

"i'm just nurturing my inner iPad baby," i say in an obnoxiously peaceful and mindful voice, as i lie curled in the cocoon of my bed, desiring nothing more than to return to the womb (with my iPad)

#ipad baby #it me #writing #prose poetry #prose poem #prosem #journaling

contemptible-scoundrel

walking down the street with my 250 year old transgender elf gf and the other elves are glaring at her whispering cradle snatcher... predator... creep... and she grips my hand a little tighter, I wordlessly squeeze her hand back and stretch, revealing the handle of my dark killing blade, and they swiftly scatter and hide in their homes. she smiles, and I swear to you, she's more radiant than the sun, more precious than life itself, and she tells me "you're so widely feared for someone your age,"

#romance #lgbt romance #and they say romance is dead #lgbt fantasy romance

ehbahpu

Aider H à fuir une situation dangereuse

Français

Cette cagnotte est pour notre amie H. qui a été séquestrée par sa famille en raison de transphobie. Elle a besoin de refaire un passport, acheter un billet d'avion et avoir un peu d'argent à son retour en France en attendant de stabiliser sa situation.

On est obligé d'agir assez rapidement, notamment pour acheter le billet. Donc si tu as même 1 euro à mettre, ça nous aidera énormément !

Merci mille fois pour ta solidarité 🙌🏾

-------

English

This fundraiser is for our friend H., who has been held captive by her family due to transphobia. She needs to get a new passport, buy a plane ticket, and have some money when she returns to France until her situation stabilizes.

We need to act quickly, especially to buy the ticket. So if you can donate even just one euro, it will help us enormously!

Thank you so much for your solidarity 🙌🏾

amnhnyc

You won’t find this pigeon on the streets of New York City. Meet the Pink-necked Green Pigeon (Treron vernans)! This colorful bird can be found throughout Southeast Asia, where it inhabits forests. It hangs out in small flocks in the treetops, foraging mainly for fruit. Distinguishing males from females isn’t too difficult: Females lack pink necks and are mostly olive-green in color!

Photo: Yi-Kai Tea, CC BY-SA 4.0, iNaturalist

#pride 2026 fit #happy pride month to this male pink-necked green pigeon

princess-of-phyresis

they're selling anti-ai slogans on sweatshop-produced t-shirts. i don't need to write the poem for you to get it do i

coldopenadhddadjoke

they're selling anti-ai slogans

on sweatshop-producted t-shirts.

i don't need to write the poem for you to get it

do i?

#poem #poetry #irony

mangled-by-disuse

in happier pride news i actually found this deeply heartwarming

that's solidarity baybeeee

lgbtlaughs

Further context: Durham city council (Reform UK) cut funding and support for Pride. The Durham Miner's Association and other trade unions raised enough money for Durham Pride 2026 to go ahead - a direct call back to when Lesbian and Gays Support the Miners (LGSM) raised money for mining communities when Margaret Thatcher seized union funding during the miner strikes of 1984-85.

At the 1985 Labour party meet, the motion to support LGBT rights as a party was passed due to a block vote from mining unions.

Stephen Guy, the chair of the Durham Miners’ Association, said that when it became apparent Durham Pride was under threat, he took it upon himself to “encourage the trade union movement to step up and do the right thing, and stand shoulder to shoulder with the LGBT+ community […] They not only raised funds for us, but came to our communities, uplifted our spirits when they were down, and showed their solidarity.”

#pride 2026 #lgbt pride #miner pride #solidarity #labor power #this is what solidarity looks like #this is what being a gay ally looks like #'allyship' means 'standing arm-in-arm when people attack us or cut off our supply lines'

mousidy

sorry, but you were socialized christian. I just can't trust you in a trans space

mousidy

they literally taught you that trans people were subhuman and that you were better than them. I don't know if you can be trusted around other trans people

mousidy

they scapegoated and abused you for showing signs of transness? uh... no? christianity is the most privileged religion there is. stop whining

mousidy

gotta say I was not expecting people to go to bat for my strawman

mousidy

me: "lol wouldn't it be crazy if trans communities treated ex-christian trans people who survived religious abuse the same way they treat trans women who they call 'male socialized'"

some of you, for some reason: "wait hold on that's a great idea"

mousidy

lotta people on this post going "ok well male socialization is fake and gay but christian socialization is Real and we should discriminate based on it" and I just think it's interesting how badly some people want to exclude others from queer community based on background

a lot of you clearly still believe socialization is an immutably tainting force, and you wanna be able to punish people for things you imagine they'll do because of it. can you at least wait for our hypothetical traumatized ex-christian to do something worthy of the punishment you're eager to inflict? can we wait for them to express a harmful belief instead of assuming they hold them? no? we just gotta bar them entirely? ok

mousidy

I actually don't believe you're normal to trans women if you believe there's such a thing as being eternally tainted by one's upbringing

misspelledwitch

tbh i dont think you're normal to *any* trans person if you think someone can be eternally tainted by how they were raised. sounds like some "oh but what are you REALLY" bullshit.

mousidy

I have never in my life seen anyone treat "female socialization" like a tainting force that makes someone dangerous

#transmisogyny

beanytuesday

What do you guys think of my new OCs (original characters)?

#brooklyn 99 (TV)

dykeferatu

pluto (the celestial body) told me that it’s actually kind of upsetting how much you guys insist on her being a planet. she says it feels like you don’t like her for who she is and you’d prefer an imagined version of her instead. what’s so terrible about being a dwarf planet, she asked me. does she have to be a “real” planet to be worthy of love?

mystery-incorporated-whore

correct.

#pluto #classification #transmisogyny #metaphors

feldfrog

I got into stand-up comedy to reinforce dominant power structures

#so unexpected #comedy #humor

stealingpotatoes

rereading your own fics/wips is a very slippery slope into finding out you actually have to finish your fics if you want them finished

coldopenadhddadjoke

i really wish my fave ao3 author would get off her ass and finish this damn story *glares in mirror*

#ao3 #ao3 fanfic #ao3 author #writing #creative writing

coldopenadhddadjoke

they had to conclude Hacks before June because it didn't end with Deborah and Ava becoming gay lovers

coldopenadhddadjoke

what wasted potential. I don't care about 'representation' or 'fanservice' or even 'Happily Ever After'

(I can't stand the genre expectation of Happy Ending Guaranteed. Makes it sound like a massage biz that is trying to attract a certain kind of customer w/o getting shut down for sex work)

what I care about is the Wasted Potential. There were such rich themes presented when Ava had that first sex dream about Deb. Their emotional connection IS messy fraught and complicated, and it IS awkward for Ava to have a sexual attraction to her domineering, abrasive, emotionally withholding female boss who's like, what, 45-50 years older than her? cowardly not to go there. brushing that spark of attraction aside is the lazy shitty lesbophobic, ageist choice.

(they had queer men in the writing room. they had Cole Escola VERY early on, in the blue-sky stages or whatever. did they have any queer female writers? was there every more than one? because they're either not there or they were shut down. I can feel their absence.)

also feels like they were very afraid of the fans--like it fizzling out or blowing up spectacularly would be a /betrayal/.

I'm sorry, but it's a drama. Imagine how much more messy and tumultuous their relationship would be if you threw in phsyical attraction and romantic complication. maybe after a few years Deborah would begin to develop a soft spot for Ava. Deb would think it's impossible, but that just means it would catch her by surprise.

that first season, everyone was freaking out. "it's the best comedy on tv!"

well you know what? that's not saying much.

i hate the melodrama. characters screaming does not mean 'good acting' to me. but if you ARE doing to be melodramatic and take your characters to their breaking points, DON'T LEAVE ANYTHING ON THE TABLE!

It was on HBO for christsakes! we've SEEN what you can broadcast on that channel! they COULD have done it. if they had ever seen it as anything more than a joke.

coldopenadhddadjoke

Ava, season 1: "oh, I don't /love/ Deborah, I just see her as like a mother figure because she's my boss and she controls so much of my life!

THAT was the logic that was supposed to dismiss any erotic or romantic possibility?

who the FUCK wrote that? someone who's NEVER heard of domination and submission? In the Year of Our Lord 2020 or whenever they were writing Season 1? after the success of the 50 Shades movies. After Secretary (2002).

between this and the Devil Wears Prada sequel, it's a real flop year for lesbian D/S representation

Bound came out in 1996, for christsakes.

that's THIRTY years ago. before Ava Daniel's actress was even born.

but, no. people don't want to go there. and it's not even because of censorship. they just think it's icky, or they're afraid it would be less profitable. it didn't focus-test well, you see.

CONFLICT drives NARRATIVE. you cannot drive a PLOT w/o a CONFLICT. If Ava wants Deborah, and Deborah thinks she's an annoying little weird with sad uncooked chicken-cutlet breasts, THAT IS A NARRATIVELY INTERSTING PLOTLINE TO PURSUE!!!! the generational differences would only be thrown into further contrast if there was some sort of abortive courtship attempt. What if we'd gotten to see Season 2, less-confident, still-worshipful Ava awkwardly ask her boss Deb if there's any HR representation, so that she can confess to Deborah that she has a crush, and that she wants to respectfully discuss the possibility of going on a couple dates and seeing if there's a future there? EVERY SEASON could have ended with a will-they-won't they. Can you IMAGINE how messy it would be, if they were DATING (or exes!) when Deb fired Ava as head writer, and then Ava BLACKMAILED HER to keep her job? And the extra motivation of getting back at an ex (or a cheating partner)?!

IT COULD HAVE BEEN SO MUCH BETTER

IT COULD HAVE BEEN SO MUCH MORE INTERESTING

YES, IT /COULD/ HAVE BEEN MORE DRAMATIC!!!!

and the untapped vein of humor!!! u could have more comedy, too!!!!

#hacks #hacks hbo #hacks spoilers #lesbophobia #ageism #lack of imagination #media criticism #vent post

coldopenadhddadjoke

they had to conclude Hacks before June because it didn't end with Deborah and Ava becoming gay lovers

coldopenadhddadjoke

what wasted potential. I don't care about 'representation' or 'fanservice' or even 'Happily Ever After'

(I can't stand the genre expectation of Happy Ending Guaranteed. Makes it sound like a massage biz that is trying to attract a certain kind of customer w/o getting shut down for sex work)

what I care about is the Wasted Potential. There were such rich themes presented when Ava had that first sex dream about Deb. Their emotional connection IS messy fraught and complicated, and it IS awkward for Ava to have a sexual attraction to her domineering, abrasive, emotionally withholding female boss who's like, what, 45-50 years older than her? cowardly not to go there. brushing that spark of attraction aside is the lazy shitty lesbophobic, ageist choice.

(they had queer men in the writing room. they had Cole Escola VERY early on, in the blue-sky stages or whatever. did they have any queer female writers? was there every more than one? because they're either not there or they were shut down. I can feel their absence.)

also feels like they were very afraid of the fans--like it fizzling out or blowing up spectacularly would be a /betrayal/.

I'm sorry, but it's a drama. Imagine how much more messy and tumultuous their relationship would be if you threw in phsyical attraction and romantic complication. maybe after a few years Deborah would begin to develop a soft spot for Ava. Deb would think it's impossible, but that just means it would catch her by surprise.

that first season, everyone was freaking out. "it's the best comedy on tv!"

well you know what? that's not saying much.

i hate the melodrama. characters screaming does not mean 'good acting' to me. but if you ARE doing to be melodramatic and take your characters to their breaking points, DON'T LEAVE ANYTHING ON THE TABLE!

It was on HBO for christsakes! we've SEEN what you can broadcast on that channel! they COULD have done it. if they had ever seen it as anything more than a joke.

#hacks #hacks hbo #hacks spoilers #lesbophobia #ageism

they had to conclude Hacks before June because it didn't end with Deborah and Ava becoming gay lovers

#hacks #hacks hbo #hacks spoilers #a series with a finale befitting its title

coldopenadhddadjoke

30 Days of Pride (2026)

June 1: Wig (HBO documentary on Wigstock and its 2018 revival)

coldopenadhddadjoke

June 2: played Diablo II instead of watching any queer edutainment.

listen, i'm playing an assassin, and she's hired a female Rogue mercenary, so me bestowing fancy armor and weapons on her and protecting her during battle is Obviously very queer AND more problematic than any of the fictional crap i could find on an online streamer's pathetic little Pride Collection. (HBO's is particularly laughable. is there a minor character who's queer? shove it in the collection baby. Are there 2 queer characters in an ensemble of like the 8 'main' cast? queer.) They scraped together a collection of scraps and told you it was a meal.

(i guess i should have clarified that my goal for this list is going out of my way to get to some queer classics of film & TV, and to learn more about queer history (including recent history)). Turning "oh i should read or watch that sometime" into: "Well, it's Pride Month. If not now, when?" This is a sign I need to order a book tho bc having enough time to watch a doc or other movie a day is not realistic, and being able to FIND the good stuff (Funeral Parade of Roses, My Own Private Idaho) is not something I can take for granted.

#Pride 2026 #30 days of pride #what have you done today to feel proud

horsefriend

putnamspuppeteer

For those who don't know: Ikumi Nakamura is the woman who was senior artist on Bayonetta, and designed the titular character along with Hideki Kamiya. Their greatest moment of bonding was over their insistence that Bayonetta keep her glasses on at all times. Nakamura cannot go to horny jail. She is the warden.