Bedtime Reblogs @colieoli - Tumblr Blog

This is actually such a crucial part of healing from neglect and abuse and I have to add to this.

Because indeed, people who like you will not roll their eyes and sigh at the idea of accommodating your needs, they will value your voice and be upset with you about injustice done to you, not at you for "being difficult". They will be happy when you find a way to live a better life, and help you to get there. If you are struggling, someone who loves you wants to see you smile, not tell you to smile because "you have it so good".

k-wame

brehaaorgana

really tempted to post to r/landlord to ask what we should do about a really problematic and destructive tenant

brehaaorgana

they don't pay any rent or utilities. it's actually a perk of their employment with me, but there's an agreement that they can't make any significant structural changes to the property without permission. recently they told me they were thinking of making some cosmetic updates which would have been allowed, but I checked in on the property recently and they literally hired a full on demolition team.

brehaaorgana

[ Landlord US - DC ]

what the fuck do I do about the damage my tenant caused?? he didn't even have to pay a security deposit and he definitely didn't pass background checks either. he's also broke. fml

smallswingshoes

wait what happened?????

brehaaorgana

// Genuine explanation of the joke, with context:

The White House is the official residence and office of the President of the United States for as long as they are in office. The White House is therefore owned by United States citizens and is stewarded by the U.S. National Parks Service.

The central portico (which includes the residential area) is the oldest section, which is a reconstruction post 1814 fire. It was completed with two expansions by 1829. Later, it gained two additional wings. The West Wing is the home of the actual work office for the president, and was completed in 1901. The East Wing is supposed to include the office of the first lady, the White House social secretary, correspondence office, and the official calligraphers. It's the social wing. It was completed in 1902.

The White House used to look like this:

Donald Trump mentioned wanting to update and renovate the East Wing with a new ballroom. It's very normal for interior redecoration to happen from president to president, and even for renovations for upkeeping the integrity of the building have happened before (with lots of documented evidence of the process! Cf. The Truman renovation).

However, this week, he actually had the entire 123 year old East Wing demolished.

I mean it straight up was fucking levelled.

It doesn't fucking exist anymore.

The American people are the owners of the White House. Americans are Donald Trump's landlord. The home is ON LOAN for the duration of his service as a perk of the job. He doesn't pay rent for it. And he just bulldozed our fucking property. We didn't even get a security deposit out of this idiot.

art-of-mathematics

judgejudyofficial

the only thing you can do. keep moving foerward

kirasecura

CAT EARS AND FAIRIES ARE ILLEGAL IN USA claims payment cloud. FANTASY CANCELLED.

deep-space-netwerk

[Link]

Under the "has cleared its orbital neighborhood" and "fuses hydrogen into helium" definitions, thanks to human activities Earth technically no longer qualifies as a planet but DOES count as a star.

fragranticareviewers

Love your blog it’s so fun ☺️ not sure if I’ll have any luck here but are there any scents you can recommend that Cats like? Famously cat-friendly perfume? Without smelling like catnip of fancy feast. Something that smells good to cats and people? Or a pleasant to people doesn’t bother cats type?

good news: these cats may be larger than what you intended, but:

obsession by calvin klein is so beloved by big cats that some field researchers use it to bait camera traps

tricktster

So like when we bought the new house, right after closing my attorney gave me this checklist of things to do right away, like rekey the locks, check the carbon monoxide and fire alarms, and replace all the toilet seats.

This last one struck us as very funny because, while the toilet seat one is a reasonable reminder for those richie riches out there with new toilet seat money and a fear of lingering butt germs, we do not have that option, because our 125 year old house came equipped with a toilet so technologically advanced that we have a separate toilet adjacent wall panel to control all the options.

This toilet has features I have never even seen before, much less experienced. When you sit down on it, it makes a comforting little beep, as if to say “hello friend, i’ve missed you!” It then begins to run just the tiniest bit of water to ensure that the built in bidet with full independent control over direction, intensity, and temperature will be prepared whether you opt for cold, lukewarm, or hot. Then, there is the air dry button, with its own temperature and intensity controls. It will literally both wash and dry your butt, and you will be in the utmost comfort while doing so. There is an anti-odor button, and I cannot fathom what technology THAT one deploys. There is still more.

We never would have bought this on our own, but we have quickly come to trust and love the Poopstation-9000.

tricktster

I’ll note that when we moved in we immediately discovered that the prior owner had left us toilet paper, moisturizing “flushable” wet wipes, and a toilet brush next to his recently abdicated throne. It was both extremely nice of him and an objectively wild thing for him to concern himself with.

Like, it’s very kind to leave a roll of toilet paper behind. He left six, neatly arranged so we couldn’t miss them. He had it alllllll set up for us. This dude had a PASSION, and he wanted to recruit us to the cause.

I want you all to know that I have never pressed “Auto” because I am scared that it will be his personalized, meticulously calibrated setting and it will blast my butthole directly into the stratosphere.

tricktster

Oh my god. I just looked it up. I had a sense that it was expensive but I had to know. I’m going to throw up.

This is an $899 toilet seat.

This toilet seat cost more than our brand new washing machine.

This toilet seat costs more than many weeklong cruises.

This house has no AC, a furnace that can charitably be described as an antique with four thermostats inexplicably installed to control it given that there’s only one zone, baseboard heating, a crack between the foundation blocks that you can very literally see the backyard through, 1970s wood paneling on the entire second floor with the ugliest (very stained) bright red polyester carpet you’ve ever seen, 1000 outlets so loose that you can’t plug anything into them, 14 spiders per room, and an $899 toilet seat.

I need to sit down.

…Thankfully, I have a spot.

tricktster

Oh yes @kalikatze, I will simply SELL MY PREOWNED INCREDIBLY ELABORATE TOILET SEAT. Like I will just HOP ONTO FACEBOOK MARKETPLACE AND

“Hey Perverts!

Once in a lifetime opportunity for someone who wants this preused, already installed and also somehow fixed into a separate wall toilet seat! Can guarantee that at least seven people I know of have rested their bare buttcheeks upon this multifaceted,multifunctional beauty! Probably way more because they used to run an entire insurance agency out of this house and when we first visited with our realtor the sunroom out front had literally four desks in it and an OSHA poster and then we discovered three more work stations and a wholeass office and there is one (1) bathroom on this floor, so. Will not fit standard toilets. This is so I can afford to kill all these spiders and furnace if I have leftovers. Seeking $898 OBO!

P.S. Must uninstall yourself because I DO NOT UNDERSTAND HOW THEY DID THIS BUT IT IS PART OF THE WALLS AND POSSIBLY LOAD BEARING. Also please leave a functioning toilet in the gaping socket you have extracted my Butt Buddy from.

Local pickup only.”

tricktster

Last thing about this toilet, I swear, it’s just that it’s awesome and it’s absolutely not an intended feature.

So the kids are 6 and 4 right? They’re little. And the toilet features only activate with that friendly little beep when you sit down, which engages I have to imagine like a pressure plate and a 3D butt LIDAR scan to make sure that you’re permitted to sit on such a lofty perch.

But again, they’re little. If they sit alllll the way back it works, but if they lean even a little forward the weight sensor lifts up and it deactivates. But they WANT to use all the insane features of the fun toilet, so they’ll shift back again. But they’re little and it’s probably uncomfortable to be so far back so they’ll immediately get distracted and lean forward

and in practice how this works is there will be a kid abruptly sprinting past me while i’m in the kitchen yelling “GOTTA GO POTTYYYYYYYYY”

and then all i will hear for the next few minutes in the adjacent room is

beep beepbeep beepbeepbeep beep beep beep beepbeep beep

homunculus-argument

Imagine that one day as you're walking on a hot sunny path, your hat jumps off your head and lands into a muddy ditch. And you look at your muddy hat and ask it: "What did you do that for?"

"I don't want to be a burden anymore", your hat answers. "You are always carrying me around, and I can't carry you. That's not fair."

"I don't mind carrying you, little idiot", you tell your hat, "you hardly weight anything at all, and you shelter me from the sun."

"But that's different", your hat protests. "I don't mind the sun scorching on me. That happens anyway. It's literally no trouble for me to shade you too."

"Just the same it's no trouble for me to carry you. But now, because you wanted to stop inconveniencing and bothering me, I am now hatless and you are in the dirt."

acapelladitty

I know it's a hot topic but would you ever think about using AI to finish a fic you're finding hard to write?

Honestly? I'd rather put out an open campfire with my clit than use AI for anything creative.

acapelladitty

an honour

hometoursandotherstuff

depsidase

digg

tenaflyviper

If you can’t find a place on your blog for Patrick Stewart in a bathtub dressed like a lobster, then your blog probably doesn’t deserve such majesty anyway.

revdrfrog

It has returned to my dash and I cannot fight the compulsion to reblog…

dreaming-jaybird

the patrick lobster appears only once in a thousand years, reblog for good luck

sidoniemoon

@hellsite-hall-of-fame

cheshirelibrary

firesidoni

… this is from 1993, when the idea of this last bit happening was genuinely conspiracy theory-level paranoia. now… well.

brain-confetti

Or it’s from 1993, the year after a landmark lawsuit against American Express – for tracking the buying habits of its customers in order to sell their information to other companies – ended with new legislation to make it illegal to do that without disclosing it first