how do you find the motivation. just in general.
MOTIVATION QUEST
(suggest things by commenting. this will continue until i either get sick of this or forget i'm doing it)
You find yourself in a ROOM. You see a SHOVEL on the GROUND. You can also see a TABLE. On the TABLE is a WELCOME MEAL. You know one thing and one thing only: You have got to find the MOTIVATION!!!!
>grab shovel
You procure the SHOVEL.
>hit welcone meal with shovel
You give the WELCOME MEAL a mighty smack using the SHOVEL! It splats against the opposite wall impotently. CURRENT SHOVEL GOLF SCORE: 1
>Look in pockets
You're not wearing any pants! this saddens you deeply. >look outside the window
On closer inspection, this is a painting of clouds.
>turn dat frown upside down ☹️ -> 😃✅
You equip your PRIZED COPY of best selling german novel, DAT FROWN, and flip it on its head. This accomplishes nothing and is a huge waste of time.
>place ear to vent, listen for breeze
You place your ear to the SUSPICIOUS VENT. You hear NO breeze, only a mysterious TICKING NOISE...
>look behind painting for secret safe.
Drat! There's nothing behind this stupid old painting except a useless old NAIL IN THE WALL. How disappointing!
>Dig for victory. What's down there...?
Only a DEAD BODY it turns out! >use painting as makeshift screwdriver to open the vent
You attempt this, but it doesn't accomplish much of anything, as the SUSPICIOUS VENT lacks any SCREWS in its SCREWHOLES.
>take out the nail from the wall
You now have THE NAIL. >Open vent with nail
You try opening the SUSPICIOUS VENT with the NAIL. However you accidentally nail the thing shut! Whoops!
>remove otamatone from back of painting
...You see no otamatone on this painting. wait!
...You still see no otamatone on this painting.
There is only a key, and it's drawn on! The tape is real atleast.
>remove string from painting
You better keep a hold of this in case you need to hang yourself later!
>inspect suspicious orb under table?
...Huh. I thought that was one of the table's back legs but it's so shittily drawn its hard to tell. I guess that could be an orb...?
You got the orb...?
>Use shovel to golf with the mysterious orb.
The ORB(?) sails deftly through the air, CLONKS the DEAD BODY on the SKULL, and lands in the hole. CURRENT SHOVEL GOLF SCORE: 2 PAR FOR HOLE: 3 BIRDIE!
>Pry off the vent with the shovel >Pry open vent with shovel >use the shovel to remove the nail then open the vent
You hear many voices telling you to USE SHOVEL ON VENT.
You pry as hard as you can, but the nail is stuck fast!
You pry harder than you can! Still not coming loose!
SNAP! The SHOVEL has been TRANSMUTED into SHOVELHEAD and STICK WITH HANDLE.
>squawk like an imbecile and shit on the table, >or use SHOVEL EDGE as a MAKESHIFT SCREWDRIVER ON NAIL, your call.
Both of those seem like pretty silly ideas! The SHOVEL HEAD is stuck fast!
>Use the orb to smash open the SUSPICIOUS VENT. >Throw "orb" at suspicious vent
The SUSPICIOUS VENT has been transmuted into the DENTED VENT.
>use MEAL on VENT
You use the WELCOME MEAL on the DENTED VENT. It has become hopelessly ensnared! You think messing with this vent may be a bad idea. Just in general.
>remove bone from ham, insert shovel handle instead
The bone is stuck fast! you remove the ham from the bone instead!
The ENSNARED MEAL has been transmuted into the BONELESS WELCOME MEAL. The BONELESS WELCOME MEAL and STICK WITH HANDLE have been transmuted into the LONG RANGE MEAL.
>use painting as makeshift hammerhead to remove the nail
God damnit.
>the vent has taken everything from you. cut your losses
You shed a single mournful tear, and steel your resolve. >look through the crack in the wall where the nail used to be
It is very hard to see much through such a tiny hole. You think you can make out a second WELCOME MEAL, though you're unsure.
>Feed the long range meal to the corpse in a sanitary hands-off fashion. Yum yum yum!
In spite of how appetising the LONG RANGE MEAL is, the DEAD BODY isn't feeling particularly hungry! CORPSES DISRESPECTED: 1
>Sit your new skeleton friend in the corner. He deserves more dignity than lying in a hole.
Quite right! You lay them down in the corner, how dignified! CORPSES HONORED: 1
>eat welcome meal
I see no WELCOME MEAL for you to eat!
>can you turn the table upside down? maybe something is on the underside.
How curious!
There appears to be a garbled and incomplete CAKE RECIPE stuck to the bottom!
>REMAINING TWO WALLS. INSPECT. NOW.
Got it, you shall scrutinize the two remaining walls with great haste.
I have no idea why you want to see those walls so much. what could possibly be interesting about them?
>Open door
Sorry, I don't know how to "Open" something.
>take tape. combine with string to save inventory space.
How sensible! the STRING and TAPE have been transmuted into the STRING w/ TAPE LOOP.
>Kick down the door.
Now there's a verb you understand!
A mighty blow! The door fails to yield!
Perhaps violence *isn't* the solution...
...
Nuts to that! With one well placed blow, you cleave the DOOR'S skull! Combat Victory!
(tumblr really dislikes long reblog chains full of images like this, so the game shall be continued on this thread!)
im not gonna lie…this post has probably made me laugh more than any other post I’ve ever seen on tumblr
