The Witches of Eastwick Starters
Warning: Dark & Mature Themes. Change whatever you wish!
“You don’t have to come today. I mean, if you don’t want to.”
“No, sweetheart, I want to, it’s just that I have a million things I have to do first.”
“The same boring, sanctimonious speech.”
“I thought he’d go on forever. I was praying something would happen.”
“He’s a liar and a letch and he deserves it.”
“Poor woman my ass. Why does she put up with it?”
“I hope his dick is bigger than his IQ.”
“He said she has to have it once a week or she starts throwing things.”
“At least somebody’s getting something once a week.”
“Today I’m a free woman.”
“It’s a beginning, not an ending. Besides, we still have each other.”
“What I’m saying is, it’s not your fault.”
“What are we doing with ourselves?”
“We’re not relaxing, we’re hiding.”
“A tall, dark prince travelling under a curse. Romantic. A foreign prince on a big black horse.”
“I don’t think men are the answer to everything.”
“How many pianos can one guy have?”
“Don’t you think it’s kind of strange?”
“Honey, it’s only a house. Why are you so upset?”
“I have a feeling. The most terrible feeling.”
“You know how I adore the little creatures.”
“This morning, this man out of absolutely nowhere, this man appeared. So charming. Not really handsome, but… riveting.”
“I was looking into his eyes, and I found myself thinking thoughts that I hadn’t entertained since World War 2!”
“I think I actually blushed. Can you imagine?”
“Yes, of course. His name is… He told me. I wrote it down. It was… Foreign. No, but it sounded… It’s on the tip of my tongue, but I can’t… Well. Isn’t that diabolical?”
“Are you looking for me, or is this just a happy coincidence?”
“Haven’t seen any snowy egrets out here, have you?”
“The local sculptress. The one who makes the little booby dolls.”
“The scale is all wrong. You need to get bigger, you know? Let yourself go. Get some size into it.”
“Do you like fish? We’re having fish for lunch.”
“Women love him. They’re crazy about him. He has a big schlong.”
“I know it’s not a fashionable opinion right now but fuck it. I know what I see.
“I see men running around trying to put their dicks into everything, trying to make something happen. But it’s women who are the source. The only power. Nature. Birth. Rebirth. Cliché? Cliché. But it’s true.”
“That’s the woman for me.”
“Would you like to see my house?”
“The Borgias once owned the bed. Of course, you have to pay for it with your soul, but what the hell? I deserve a little luxury.”
“You have to take care of yourself. No one’s doing to do that for you, are they?”
“What is it that you think you’re doing?”
“I always like a little pussy after lunch.”
“Are you trying to seduce me?”
“I wouldn’t insult your intelligence with anything as trivial as seduction. But I would love to fuck you.”
“Well, you know, I have to admit, that I appreciate your directness. I will try and be as direct and honest with you as I possibly can be.”
“I think… no, I am positive that you are the most unattractive man I have ever met in my entire life.”
“You have demonstrated every loathsome characteristic of the male personality and even discovered a few new ones.”
“You are physically repulsive, intellectually retarded. You’re morally reprehensible, vulgar, insensitive, selfish, stupid. You have no taste, a lousy sense of humor, and you smell.”
“You’re not even interesting enough to make me sick.”
“Would you like to be on the top or the bottom?”
“Well, if that’s the way you feel about it, that’s the way you feel about it. Is that the way you feel about it?”
“Just your average horny little devil.”
“What have you got to go home to? There isn’t anybody there, is there?”
“You clean up the dirt, there’s just more dirt to clean up tomorrow. Make the beds, they just have to be made tomorrow. Wash the dishes, there’s more to wash tomorrow.”
“You’ve done the wife bit, the motherhood bit, the car-pools, the vegetable garden, the needlepoint, the macrame potholders, the cup of coffee with the neighbor in the morning. A couple of drinks, a couple of pills, psychoanalysis, and uh, where are you now?”
“Pretending to be somebody else? Pretending to be half of what you are? How long can you last like that?”
“The world keeps growing. You feed it, but it doesn’t feed you, does it?”
“Woman is a hole – isn’t that what they say? All the futility of the world pouring into her.”
“How much can you take before you snap?”
“Lying on your bed, looking at the ceiling, waiting for something to happen, knowing all the time that you were meant for something better.”
“Use me. Fill me up. I can take it.”
“You sit there in that pathetic excuse of an office reporting gossip while under your very nose evil is doing its worst.”
“You have no spine. Not one ounce of morality.”
“When I open my mouth, the strangest things come out.”
“Somethings inside me. Something’s crawling inside me. I can feel it. Something evil.”
“I’m a sugar junkie. Sugar, chocolate, Coca-Cola. Uncontrollable appetite in every department.”
“It doesn’t bother me. I have a supernatural constitution. It’s… genetic.”
“I don’t hold to all this health-consciousness shit.”
“When I die, I want to be sick, not healthy.”
“We’re going to have a polite conversation.”
“The entire witchcraft scare goes as far back as the 14th century started by the medical profession. They were trying to get midwives out of the child birthing business.”
“Men are such cocksuckers, aren’t they?”
“They’re dicks get limp when confronted by a woman of obvious power. And what do they do about it? Call them witches.”
“Precision is not prissy. Precision is the foundation of passion. Passion without precision… chaos.”
“This hand, this is your failure. Your bowing sucks.”
“These are not just notes that you’re playing. They’re phrases, human outcries.”
“Let it go. What are you afraid of? You have great passion in you.”
“Let it out. I can take it. I want it.”
“He has the most amazing penis. It bends the wrong way.”
“I love interviews. They’re so intimate.”
“Drugs have no effect on me. Neither does alcohol.”
“It’s true. It’s boring, but it’s true.”
“Are you going to seduce me, too?”
“Well, I should warn you, I get pregnant. I could borrow your toothbrush and get pregnant.”
“Men need that, don’t they? They need to feel everything is solid, and the truth is, the world isn’t like that.”
“Women are more natural, aren’t they? And nature is crazy, no matter what the science books say.”
“I don’t mind when peculiar things happen. It’s natural, because the world is a very peculiar place.”
“You’re a very peculiar person.”
“Look what they can do. These are human beings.”
“You know when you’re a kid, everything is confusing and you think when you grow up that it’s all gonna make sense? Do you think it ever happens?”
“It starts when you open your eyes and you finally understand what the future holds for you.”
“What do you see when you open your eyes?”
“Sometimes I look in the mirror and I see everything disintegrating faster and faster.”
“I always see snakes. I do, hundreds of them. They’re crawling all over me and I disappear, and then I’m just not there anymore.”
“I don’t mind that it’s a short life, or growing old or disappearing; that doesn’t bother me. But it’s the pain. It’s the pain that scares me. I don’t know why there has to be so much pain.”
“We don’t deal the deck down here. We just play the percentages.”
“Look around you. You see what’s happening.”
“That is nobody’s business!”
“Would you just stop, please? Just stop. Stop.”
“Somebody has to do something about it.”
“Double-double chocolate. These are fabulous.”
“The whole town is talking about you and your friends.”
“This is unfair and also untrue.”
“We have not done anything wrong. Why should we stop seeing each other?”
“Why is it always women who have visions?”
“This woman is not kidding with her medieval morality.”
“I can’t understand one word you’re saying. Not one!”
“Maybe we can put her out of her misery.”
“All this moaning – they’re lucky to have each other. If they don’t appreciate that I have no sympathy for them.”
“It’s so easy for you to say. You don’t have any kids. You don’t have a family.”
“You’re my family. I don’t want to lose it.”
“I just can’t stand to see you upset. You don’t know what it does to me.”
“I wish she would just go away.”
“He’s trying to get inside me. He’s trying to use me.”
“He wants to get inside us, take our goodness.”
“God made us into the image of goodness and look what we’ve become! Animals gone mad, devouring the earth and each other.”
“He’s going to take their love and continue to destroy the earth with it.”
“They make things happen. WE make things happen.”
“Can’t you stop thinking from between your legs for one minute?”
“I just wanted to see how you were, you know, make sure you were ok, make sure you didn’t have any uncontrollable desire to see me.”
“In case, you know, you were really missing me and you were too embarrassed to call, I thought I’d call first, that way, you could still feel superior and see me at the same time.”
“If we both feel terrible, can’t we do something about it?”
“Yeah, well, people die all the time. What does that have to do with us?”
“Don’t do this! This is not fair!”
“I can’t see you. I can’t talk to you. I’m sorry, but I can’t!”
“Just let it go. Look at me. That’s it. Just let it go.”
“Make him stop, please. Make him stop.”
“All I know is we were friends and the next day I was shut out. That’s all I know.”
“One minute I was the answer to your prayers. Five minutes later, no one would give me the time of day.”
“You deserted me. We had a deal.”
“You pissed me off! What was I supposed to do? Take it like a man? Christ, I gave you everything I got.”
“I want somebody to do these shirts! That’s what I want! I want somebody to pay a little attention to me. I want a little respect. I want somebody to take care of me for a change.”
“Everything I did I did for you.”
“Go ahead. Go on. Go back to your miserable little life. Go on! Fuck me if I care. That’s what you want. That’s what you get.”
“That stuff you did for us was great, but you can’t use your power to hurt people.”
“I want my family back together, that’s all.”
“I could learn. You could teach me. How hard can it be?”
“Let’s not fight. You can’t win. There’s no way you can win. There just isn’t. There’s nothing to go back to if you could win.”
“Can’t we just put this behind us and be friends?”
“You missed me a little bit, didn’t you?”
“Everything’s going to be much better now.”
“Sorry… just having a little trouble. A little trouble at home.”
“Don’t pay any attention. It’s a cheap trick. Anybody can do it. I taught it to them myself.”
“What’s the matter? You don’t think God makes mistakes?”
“When we make mistakes, they call it evil. When God makes mistakes, they call it nature.”
“I can think about him if I want to.”