The Dragon of Deduction @consulting-smaug - Tumblr Blog

My favorite scenes in the LotR books are the ones where Legolas has vital information and just decides it's not important to share.

Like when Gandalf spent literal PAGES trying to figure out why the vibes were off in Moria and Legolas chimes in with just "it's a balrog :) that shit's evil :) we're so fucked :)" like what do you MEAN you knew already and just didn't tell him??

Or at the beginning of Two Towers when Aragorn thinks there's something nearby so he puts his ear to the ground to listen, and then like 10 minutes later is like "hmmm i hear horses" and Legolas is just like "mm yep. there are 105 blond bitches with spears" like you just let your friend put his face in the dirt and you can SEE them??

Legolas please gain a sense of urgency

knives-in-the-dishwater

It's because legolas hasn't spent enough time with non-elves to remember that they don't know what he knows.

gandalf is scratching his head in moria, and legolas is thinking "oh man, the wizard noticed something off *besides* the obvious balrog that we all are aware of??"

"I wonder what aragorn is listening for? must be hard to hear, what with all of the horses. How many horses are there, actually? 1... 2... 3..."

taavicleric

"What do your elvish eyes see?" is Aragorn saying, as politely as possible, "Because the REST OF US are at a significant disadvantage, Prince Dipshit."

#lord of the rings #lotr

penny-anna

hot take:

Gloin is the sexiest dwarf by dwarf standards.

Kili is the sexiest dwarf by elf standards.

Thorin is the sexiest dwarf by human standards

& Bombur is the sexiest dwarf by hobbit standards

penny-anna

#ITS TRUE AND YOU SHOULD SAY IT #(ALSO THORIN AND KILI BEING ‘UGLY’ BY DWARF STANDARDS IS AMUSING CONTENT)

further take: Kili is straight-up ugly by dwarf standards. Thorin is like, the dwarf equivalent of Benedict Cumberbatch. Some dwarves think he’s an absolutely dreamboat, others think he is super weird looking, there’s very little middle ground.

kayla-bird-deactivated20190505

omg now i’m like. what does this make frodo by hobbit standards

penny-anna

by hobbit standards, I’m afraid Frodo is probably. not conventionally attractive at all.

femmefaramir

Frodo is the sexiest hobbit by elf standards

stinkylittlegnome

@femmefaramir this is some fucking galaxy brain level tags and im crying out of sheer horror

headspace-hotel

Every day, against my will, the LOTR fandom makes posts.

cipheramnesia

We getses tagged teamed by the precious hunky orcses boys til we’re wrung out like a soggy dishes rag we does

cipheramnesia

Sorry that was uncalled for

whitmerule

No, no, I’m afraid that was very necessary.

#lord of the rings #lotr

consultingbeekeepers

Sherlock + text posts [9/?]

the-eclectic-penguin

phdstarscream

I have reposted this before but I am always impressed by how well-thought out every spot is. There is no good place to sit. “Oh, Eomer’s cool, I’ll sit with him” but then you will have to listen to Gollum and Bilbo the entire flight. “I’ll sit with Sam!” Pippin and Merry will be turning around the entire flight to talk to him. Sure, you can sit with Elrond, but you’re going to deal with him staring down Aragorn and Arwen. You may love Legolas and Gimli, but will you love sitting BETWEEN them? Just when you see a spot that seems okay, somewhere behind or across the aisle is a terrible option. This is so good. No good seats on the LOTR plane