Deadly Bread

I like the chunky sound CRT TV buttons makes | SCP tagging person | enjoy funnies :)

[mandate-transgenderism]

how it feels

[grimeclown]

I got a job at a gas station across from a casino and a guy keeps coming in to buy whole cartons of cigarettes and talks in the third person calling himself "snake eyes pete" and every time I tell him his total hes like "tell ya what if old Pete rolls a snake eyes why dont you give it to him for free?" and he rolls the same set of loaded dice on the counter and it does not matter how many times he rolls snake eyes I will not give him the cartons for free he gets so mad

[grimeclown]

Snakeyes Pete is from Toronto he gave me a button once that said "Canadians have the best luck" and i said i thought that was the Irish and he said "I fucking hate the irish" and i said okay

[guooey]

themessangerpigeons

[guooey]

Tears

[thelof9]

WELCOME BACK

[bloodclotbitch]

[prokopetz]

The problem with trying to fix The X-Files is that its writing and characterisation are so wildly uneven even from episode to episode within a given season that most of the time your "improved" version will just end up being an accurate description of a specific episode of The X-Files.

[prokopetz]

(And, critically, because there exists one specific episode which more or less accidentally answers to the description of the imaginary show you're proposing, certain fans will insist the entire series ought to be given credit for being like that and you're just looking for excuses to complain.)

[playwrongs]

there's nothing i like more as a computer program than a long period of silent contemplation - not doing anything, not rushing anywhere, just standing here and enjoying this moment with the user. oh, it seems once again he has summoned my beautiful and ruthless wife Task Manager. hello, my darling! what are you doing with that long cruel scimitar

[release-the-sheep]

just witnessed something devastating

guy on the subway with one ear pierced, little gold hoop. other guy on the subway very quickly and subtly googling "which one is the gay ear". it is not the gay ear. visible disappointment on his face as he puts his phone away.

[nattousan]

happy fagged out friday

[389]

I'm kinda fagged out by life. Life is a fag. And I'm fagging it. I hate my life.

[eden-eden-eden-eden-eden]

Please please a strawberry for me please

[reallyreallyreallytrying]

nip over to troy, bit of rough and tumble, big horse, bish bash bosh, back home to ithaca. simple as

[makingtrouble]

It's my cat's birthday (anniversary of me getting him) so I told him the story of his life while petting him real good

Highlights include:

For your first two years (when you were small) you lived in a foster home with people who raised you into a very polite young man. Two is like you plus me, that's what two is.

Some people adopted you before me and they called you Timmy (which is a stupid name) and they returned your ass almost immediately because you were so annoying at that age.

Like think about how annoying you are right now at seven years old, but way worse.

I'm better than them though, I don't call you Timmy and I wore earplugs to bed for three years because you love to scream at bedtime. Earplugs are like when I roll over and go back to sleep even when you are yelling so so so loud.

I got you at a time in my life when I was really sick (being sick is like when I'm up late because I'm throwing up and you are a very handsome good boy who sits with me) and they had to put me asleep for a procedure. A procedure is like what happened to you when they put you asleep and took your balls away.

Now you've lived with me for five years. Five is like the number of toe beans on one of your feet. When I clip your nails five is when we're halfway done. But we're hopefully not even halfway done with how long we get to be together. I'm gonna have to figure out new ways to help you count.

[makingtrouble]

Actually I've decided this is a poem

[xrd]

possibly my favourite tiktok ive ever seen

[nyanletnest]

bwaow

[shebobonmydylan]

Ugh I was developing my wizard film and accidentally cast sepia filter on all of new england. sorry everyone

[massachusetts-official]

Official Post of Massachusetts

[angelicguy]

[clowncarpool]

cheese sits on the toilet while we take showers, and i like to stand on my tip toes and draw his silhouette in the steam from a high angle, then stand back to see how warped it is from his actual shape

oil and acrylic on masonite