I Lived Bitch

Nobue Amos // 23

[capricornpropaganda]

There's no reason for any character to be a cop like was Nancy Drew a cop? Naur she was just nosy as hell and I respect that

[capricornpropaganda]

Was Scooby and the gang ringing up the police?? No bc Fred and Shaggy were dodging the draft

[velvetys]

Nothing worse than a stranger starting a comment by addressing me as op and writing a paragraph

[velvetys]

[bunniope]

full-force slamming my cock into a cliff face that ive painted to resemble a pussy after watching the roadrunner fuck it with ease

[yosaplyop-deactivated20230729]

That enough Tumblr for today

[bunniope]

log back on and read my post you son of a bitch

[this-is-a-podcast-fanblog]

Imagine walking into an Italian restaurant, looking the other customers in their eyes and saying, “wait, this place serves pasta? What’s pasta? I’ve never even heard of pasta, but it’s probably not good.” 

that is what you sound like when you’re a Tumblr user who has never heard of Cecil Palmer

[this-is-a-podcast-fanblog]

[ID: screenshot of two Tumblr tags. The first reads, “well of course they haven’t had pasta”, and the second reads “not since the ban on wheat and wheat byproducts.” End ID.]

dont be funnier than me on my own post

[sacred-portal]

[neverwonderneverremember]

we know about your abortion 🤡🤡🤡

you know i'm actually quite famous as the first trans woman to ever get an abortion. yeah. after my bottom surgery i actually went and got pregnant on purpose JUST so i could abort it. "abort that thang!" - my catchphrase

[euamopipoca-deactivated20120215]

Put a / in the year you were born, so we will have an average age

[sociallyanxiousdragon]

Before 1990: //////

1990:////

1991://////

1992:////////////

1993://///////////////

1994:////////////////////

1995: //////////////////////////////////////

1996: /////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

1997: /////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

1998: ////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

1999: ///////////////////

2000: //

After 2000: /

[sociallyanxiousdragon]

This is what we did before polls, when we could still edit posts

[rincewitch]

stone age tumblr utilizing primitive tools

[coughloop]

[aristotels]

So you like want americans de*d?

bait used to be believable

[spaghettioverdose-deactivated20]

*tiktok tts voice*: I want those y@anks unalived!

[dogmouthhorse]

[thathousekilledmasterchauncy-de]

[doing-90mph-in-central-london]

fun fact: pigs can metabolize alcohol slightly better than humans, and they of course enjoy grains. this means that a pig can drink a beer as a treat. Rufus usually gets one a year, for his birthday. and he won't let the label stop him.

[littleguysdaily]

[d3l3t3d-b10g]

The hunter

[xueyangapologist]

time for an ancient tradition….. how many of these artists have you heard of? miraculously i’m at 42

[panteneprovcommercial]

[toetagsandbowties]

[breebird33]

When visiting and catching up with old friends, be sure to bring plenty of treats to share 🍇✨

[original characters]

[breebird33]

🙏🏻 bless y'all who read the vibes 🙏🏻

[straightboyfriend]

[bogleech]

This is a the funniest fucking post I have seen in a year because first the spelling and backstory makes you think he got a role as one of the beatles, and then after the preposterous reveal she says that isnt actually a problem, and I don't think anything more could be funnier than the actual post cutting it off as she makes it all about the couch. Comedy writers please study this.

[beemovieerotica]

ok but how could they cut off the rest of it

[futurebird]

The "B" is *not* for "buses"

Via mastodon(aka the fediverse)

[captainclickycat]

But what about the Down… the Down wi… Down with Ci…

[patema-introverted]