Yknow it really sucks when your just living your life and some hot redhead has to come in and make you rethink your entire religion cause she’s just thatttt fine.
Friends, I have created a form so you can sign up to be tagged in any work you would like to be tagged in. I had a list before but it's been such a long time I don't feel comfortable tagging those people without consent again. So, you can find it here or you can find it in my pinned master list.
I will tag my current list below so you can then decide if you want to continue being tagged :)
Permanent Tag:
@mapplestrudel @cannedsoupsucks
Kings Pet (Boba Fett):
@promisuoussatan (broken tag) @andweeee
World: Mass Effect
Paring: ShepardxVakarian, previous ShepardxAlenko
Words: 2,484
Rating: M for implied sexual situations and swearing
Summary: Shepard has to face a tough conversation, but the past does matter and so do the people who were always there for her.
Note: This is my first work in the ME world so be aware that the diaglue isn't going to be spot on, but it is very much so based on the game. Basically, Kaiden accused my female Shep and I was like excuse me, sir? And then needed to write this. Cross posted to AO3 just like the rest of my stuff :)
Always There
She walked through the Presidium Commons seemingly not paying attention. To anyone who didn’t know her, it looked like she was leisurely walking just like everyone else. Shepard never wasn’t paying attention though; she was just really good at hiding it. Her team knew this, as it was likely what kept them all alive through all the shit they had been through.
The scorched marks around set her on edge. It made her wonder just how long it was going to take for Cerberus to fuck things up again or the Reapers to show up and make the black marks look like childs play. Such a beautiful place; reduced to nothing in the matter of moments all because of the evil will of evil beings.
She quickly shook the idea from her mind, focusing on the familiar face in front of her. Kaiden had asked to see her the next time they docked and although most of the crew made her smile when they asked to spend time with her, this request set her on edge.
The last time they talked about anything other than the war and military shit, he had asked her about Garrus. Part of her felt terrible for just sighing and putting her face in her hands and lamely brushing off the fact she had been with someone else. In all honesty, Kaidens reaction on Horizon had broken her heart. It’s not that she didn’t understand his fear and pain seeing her wearing that stupid Cerberus crest but..
“Commander.”
“Hey, Kaiden. You wanted to see me?”
“Yeah, I just needed a sanity check, I guess.”
“Have a lot on your mind?”
He chuckled and played with the bottle in his hand, seemingly lost in thought.
“Yeah, I mean other than the end of the galaxy and stuff. I just.. I keep thinking about me and you. We didn’t talk very much in the hospital.”
Shepard sighed and leaned forward in her chair, surprised he brought things up so quickly but glad it was getting over with at least.
“Yeah well, I was just happy to see you alive after seeing your head get smashed in.”
“Are you okay with talking about this? I know we aren’t really alone.”
“Yeah, I guess now is as good a time as any.”
He nodded and sighed.
“Look, I get why you cheated but-“
“Kaiden, I don’t want to cut you off, but that entire implication bothers me if I am being honest.”
“Calling it cheating?”
“Yeah. I’m not saying that what we shared wasn’t special. You were very special to me. You still are. But it’s not like when the galaxy was exploding around us, we had time to sit down and talk about what we were or what we weren’t.”
“I guess that is fair. But you were alive for two years and just didn’t get ahold of me?”
“I was on a table! Any time I woke up and powered through the sedatives they just pumped me full of more. They.. they had to rebuild me after I was killed. I know your life continued for two years but the only thing I remember from that time is pain. I remember fear and unfamiliar faces and burning. Stars everything burned when I would wake up.”
Kaiden frowned and reached over, gently putting his hand over hers. She gave him a tight smile and sat back up, pulling away from him. Talking about that time was painful and she didn’t like thinking about it. Too much was riding on her staying in the right frame of mind.
“I’m sorry, Shepard. I mean I saw.. I saw you die. I spent years dealing with the fact that I couldn’t.. couldn’t save you. It took everything in me to get in that shuttle and I blamed myself for you not making it out. Not that I was the only one who blamed me for it. I guess I just got so caught up in my own feelings that I didn’t take yours into account. Do.. do you want to talk about it?”
“No. Thank you, but no. I don’t have time to deal with that stuff if I am being honest. I have enough wounds being made daily; I don’t need to open old ones.”
“I understand. I’m really sorry.”
“It’s okay.”
An awkward silence fell between the two and he kept playing with the glass in his hands. She finally sighed and leaned forward again, looking at him fully.
“When I ran into you on Horizon, I was so happy to see you. When I first woke up, I wasn’t sure who made it out alive on that ship.”
“So, you knew I was alive?”
“I knew when I landed on Horizon that you were there. I had asked the Illusive Man about my old crew. One of the first things I asked him, actually. He told me that you were on special assignment. So when he told me about Horizon and that you were there.. Joker piloted us there immediately.”
“So seeing me alive was-“
“A huge relief.”
They smiled at each other, and she felt her chest tighten.
“Then once I found you.. I worried Garrus the whole way through looking for you. He kept giving me that look he gives me when he knows I’m not okay but also when he knows I won’t entertain the subject.”
“I barely even noticed that he was there. I was just.. I only saw you.”
“Yeah. When I saw you, I was so fucking relieved, Kaiden. I thought you had been taken with the rest of them. Just another person.. another face to haunt my nightmares every night. Another person I lost because I wasn’t fast enough.”
“Hey, hey I’m right here.”
He put his hand over hers again and this time she let it stay.
“I know. But you were so angry with me. And I get it. I understand. The things we saw Cerberus do.. shit. But it was me. And for a moment you were happy to see me but seeing your face fall and the hatred flash through your eyes.. it broke my heart Kaiden.”
“I’m sorry. Shit, wish there was something else I could say. Maybe that will be my catch phrase.”
Shepard chuckled and shook her head.
“No need for you to be sorry. You were hurt and had every right to be. I left right after we talked, I just couldn’t stand being there anymore. Then I got your email and.. you were carrying on with your life. Which, part of me was really happy for you but the other part.. I felt like I lost you all over again just for doing what was right for the galaxy.”
“You were doing the right thing. You always do.”
She chuckled darkly and sat back up straight, tired.
“Yeah, and it always seems to hurt those I care about.”
“So, Garrus?”
She laughed and felt her cheeks flush slightly.
“Yeah. That wasn’t what I expected. Hell, I bet humans 30 years ago would have me tied to a stake for it right?”
Kaiden sat up and laughed, letting some of the tension fall from his body.
“Yeah, probably. You two work well together though.”
“We do. I didn’t even know it was him when I went to find him. Tricked some mercs into hunting Archangel and when I walked up the stairs to recruit him into a suicide mission, there he was. Almost lost him then too.”
“He’s way too tough to be taken down by a single grenade to the face.”
She smiled fully and nodded.
“Yeah, I guess you’re right. He didn’t even question me. Just saw it was really me, after shooting me once to make sure I was real, and just signed on. He was surprised Cerberus was okay with a Turian on the ship but wherever I was going.. he was there.”
Kaiden let his smile fall from his face and sighed.
“I won’t keep saying I’m sorry because I don’t want to piss you off.. but for what it’s worth I am glad that Garrus was there for you when no one else wanted to be.”
“Me too. He’s been one of my biggest supporters from the very beginning. I don’t think I would have made it out of the collector base without him.”
“Well, this wasn’t exactly the way I wanted this conversation to go, but if you’re happy with him then I am happy for you. You deserve the best. You give up everything all the time just to save the rest of our asses. Happy looks good on you, Commander.”
“Thank you, Kaiden. I appreciate it. And thank you for asking me out here. I don’t know that I would have brought all of this up without you doing so.”
“I always have your back, Commander. No matter what. I won’t make the mistake of second guessing you again.”
---
Garrus stood in the elevator smiling to himself wishing someone else was there to banter with. All the stupid shit he said when he was just a naïve c-sec deserter. It was the good times though. But on this particular lift, he was happy to be alone because it meant another opportunity to spend time alone with his favorite human.
Okay, so maybe she was one of the very few humans he truly knew. In many senses of the word.. but she was definitely his favorite. And he didn’t think that would change even if he met every human in the galaxy.
The door opened and he paused when he saw the reporter walking out of Shepards cabin. She paused for a second and looked him up and down. Normally he would appreciate the sentiment, but he had no interest in her. She walked past and into the lift, which he didn’t even bother to turn around to see it shut. He was too busy looking at the woman in front of him.
“Sorry, Shep, I meant to take longer but you sounded-“
“It’s okay. I don’t think there is anyone on the ship that doesn’t know you come up here on occasion.”
He chuckled and walked into her cabin when she motioned for him to. She locked the door behind them and let out a sigh, letting her shoulders slump. Garrus let his smile fade and walked to her, putting his hands on her shoulders. Without her armor, she was even smaller which always threw him off. Humans were so small yet the one in front of him was so fierce.
“Your mind seems heavy, sweetheart.”
“Yeah. Kaiden asked me to meet him on the Citidel.”
“Ah. I assume you hadn’t spoken to him much since the hospital?”
She shook her head no and leaned forward, letting her head rest on the Turians chest. He put his hand on the back of her head, gently moving his fingers to sooth her. It had taken some time to learn each other’s likes and comforts, but now neither of them believed anyone else could be as comforting to them.
“Let’s sit down, yeah?”
She nodded against him and let him lead her to the couch. He sat down and opened his arms, letting her sit next to him and lean into him. She loved how warm he always was and sighed as the heat hit her always sore muscles.
“You never told me much about your talk with him in the hospital, just that he seemed to be better.”
“How would you know there was much to say then?”
“Because I know you. I don’t even need you to have subvocals to know how you’re feeling most of the time.”
She smiled for a moment before sighing.
“Somehow, he knew about you. Maybe it was the crew talking or he saw us talking.”
“I guess it would be hard to hide just how much you love these scars.”
She chuckled and swatted at his chest playfully.
“Not that I would have hidden you from him.”
“Well, after how he treated you on Horizon, I am honestly surprised that he would even mention it.”
“He told me that there was no one else and that I was always the one for him.”
Garrus rumbled, which she thought may have been a laugh, but not being able to hear his subvocals made it hard to tell.
“Funny way of showing it by not only disrespecting you on Horizon then sending you an email that he was on a date with a doctor.”
“Yeah, I told him all of that earlier today. He accused me of cheating on him.”
She felt him tense, so she put her hand on his leg, running her thumb across him as a soothing gesture.
“I’m sorry, sweetheart, I just don’t like him cheapening what we have. I mean, as long as you still want me.”
She turned to look at him and moved her hand to the side of his face, turning him to look at her gently.
“I told him that you weren’t just some fling. That you were there for me no matter. Always riding into hell and being willing to stay there with me or carry me out. I also told him that after how he acted and the fact we never even talked about what we were or might be.. it wasn’t fair.”
“You’re damn right it wasn’t fair. I would defend your honor, but you seem to have it handled yourself.”
“I do. Though the sentiment is nice.”
He hummed against her and pulled so she could climb into his lap, straddling his waist.
“I mean, I could still walk down there and give him a piece of my mind. Maybe fight with him. I’m sure Vega would be happy to see a sparring match in the cargo bay.”
“Hmm, I don’t know. The last time you talk to someone about a sparring match and blowing off steam you ended up in their bed.”
He chuckled and put his hands on her hips, squeezing slightly.
“Worried, dear?”
“I’m not sure. Maybe you just have a thing for humans and anyone that passes by may steal your attention.”
“I know my scars are irresistible, but you, my dear, are even more so.”
She smiled and kissed him gently, resting her forehead against his. They stayed like that, in silence, just enjoying each other’s presence.
“Thank you for telling me about all of that, sweetheart.”
“Thank you for listening.”
“Always. I am a man of many talents after all.”
“Hmm, maybe it’s time for you to show me some more of those talents.”
“Am I not memorable enough?”
“I think I just need a reminder.”
He smiled as he stood up, easily picking her up with him.
“Hope you’ve been working on that reach and flexibility.”
A reminder that this is what censorship leads to and that it wasn’t all that long ago when purity culture was going after ships that antis would consider to be “normal” today.
Also I thought Fiction Alley was that one archive that Msscribe got shut down with her shitstirring
This is what people tend not to realize when they complain about the Ao3 not havng all the bells and whistles, not offering a way for fic writers to make money, hosting content they don’t like,etc….AO3 just isn’t those things. Their whole existence and purpose is like a preservation site or a museum. Nothing stops you from hosting your content elsewhere and even if you never donate AO3 will be a place where your work will be preserved and protected that is it’s function and it’s a necessary function.
By all means host your work somewhere fancier where you can make money but try and value AO3 for what it is, a place where anyone fan fic writer –for better or for worse– can host there content and you will never be asked to remove your content for censorship reasons no matter what trend is currently rampaging through fandom.
As an aside, AO3 legally cannot offer a way to make money, because they are a non-profit organization. This is part of the reason why they’ve been largely left alone (and also the lawyers they have on retainer to fight those Fair Use issues like the one in the Twitter post) and why they will suspend accounts for mentioning commissions period. AO3 can get in legal trou le if they were allowing people to market themselves.
I can’t stress enough how you should not ever, ever mention, hint at or otherwise infer that a fic was commissioned on AO3. I’ve seen accounts get warnings even without a direct Patreon link.
Even if I felt comfortable with the idea of making money off fanwriting (which I don’t because I Was There, Gandalf and it’s still blowing my mind to have this flexibility) I would still rather have AO3 be my main hosting site than to support Wattpad and their lack of fucks to give about the rampant plagiarism.
There are three pages of tags mentioning commissions if you search “commission” on AO3′s tag search. This is, bluntly, not good. If you have tagged it, delete the tag, delete anything in the fanwork notes that mention commissions, and never do it again. It is flatly against AO3′s Terms of Service because of all of the above.
Nothing wrong with doing fic comms, but they are NOT LEGAL, and you need to keep them on the DOWN LOW. DO NOT even breath a word about them on your AO3 unless you want your account nuked
Frankly, it’s probably wise to just. Never admit to doing commissions, ever.
Instead of “this fic was commissioned by Username,” say “this fic was requested by Username.” People give out fic prompts all the time; people request fics; gift fics:; etc. If you commission fics (which, oh my god, I personally would never) then for the love of God don’t admit to it. Don’t promote it. And certainly don’t ever even allude to it on AO3.
To be clear, commissions for fanworks aren’t illegal either. They just… never went to court.
If you don’t want to be the person who ends up on the other end of a major IP law precedent case (Which! Ao3 doesn’t want to be!! So tread carefully!), then you’re better off staying quiet.
That said, fanworks by commission are exceedingly common, actually, just look at… like… half of art. You’re probably fine taking commissions.
But I’m not your lawyer, so go buy an hour of their time for a consult.
Tags: Light Angst, Fluff, Sorta Fix-It? (my little fic world is not canon-compliant anyway), "Mando'a for Beginners" 'verse,
A/N: A while ago I wrote a little thing where Paz needed some comfort after a bad dream, and then S3E7 happened, and Reader from my little Mando'a for Beginners fic suddenly had the worst dream of her life and Paz had to run and comfort her.
You're gonna have to rip Paz from my cold dead hands before I let this di'kut (affectionate) go.
Translations at the end.
Also available on AO3 (link in the replies).
---
Ch. 1: Paz
"Can I hold you?"
The familiar deep voice sounds sleepy and choked up. Sitting in the space ship's small common room, you look up from the square you're crocheting and see Paz standing in the corridor. He just woke up, it seems, wearing only his PJs and his helmet. His shoulders are slumped, arms hanging on his sides, but his hands are opening and closing nervously.
"Always." You nod and put your yarny project on the table. A few strides take you over to him. He seems glued to his place but his hands reach out and pull you close as soon as you're within his reach.
You wrap your arms around his waist, squeezing lightly. He sighs and holds you tight, fingers digging into your shirt, bunching the fabric.
You start running slow, calming circles on his back with your hands, and after a while he starts to relax a bit.
Minutes pass.
Eventually you retreat just enough to look up to him. The visor is dark, but you can make out a hint of visor-tinted eyes. You always find them.
"What's up?" you whisper.
He sighs, then grumbles "Bad dream."
You hum acknowledgingly.
"You wanna talk about it?"
"No."
"Later?"
"... Mm-hm."
"'Kay."
You stay put where you are, wrapped up in his arms, worried, but also basking in his warmth and closeness.
The helmet hisses and you feel a kiss pressed on to the top of your head.
"Thank you." It's short, quick and unmodulated, and if it weren't for the helmet-closing hiss you would have thought you dreamt it.
You look up again, once you're sure the helmet is in its proper place again, and with tippy-toes reach to the front of his helmet with your own forehead. He returns the keldabe, lowering his head so you're more comfortable.
"Always," you whisper and he groans and holds you tighter, wishing the pictures from the dream to disappear, but they keep playing again and again in his head:
You, falling into endless blackness and he, skydiving behind you, never reaching you, jetpack fuel running out....
---
Ch. 2: You
"Paz!"
The thick door closes shut with a loud clang and then there is silence.
No sound, even as you desparately bang your fists at the ungiving metal.
No sound, even as you scream, and claw at it, willing it open.
Willing Paz to get out of there.
Willing the assaillants to just fall dead and leave him be.
But the door is unyielding and you watch in horror as Paz is slowly overwhelmed and you can't do anything and you scream and scream and scream.
And then he falls. Hits the ground. You can feel the thud. It ripples through the door like an earthquake from its epicenter right through to you and your heart stops.
Shatters into a thousand pieces sifting through your bruised bloodied hands.
---
You jerk awake with a gasp, cold sweat clinging to you like the nightmare's claws.
"Laarika!"
The door of the sleeping compartment that you and Paz share, whirrs open and Paz all but falls in, highly alarmed, blaster drawn.
Your throat is dry and sore, you're desoriented, the light from the corridor burning in your tear-filled eyes. You can't even sit up and so you just lie there, breathing heavily, heart racing.
"What's wrong?"
Paz looks around with practiced but somewhat frantic precision for whoever hurt you, knowing all well that there should be only you and him on this ship.
"Paz...", you choke and he sits down and pulls you gently to his chest. You wrap all fours around him and cling to him, digging into his flightsuit, and he holds you, holds you, holds you tight, as you bury your face into his flak vest and cry.
You cry out the feeling of utter helplessness, of loss and anger, and he sits there solid like a rock amidst the waves of your tears, worried about you and whatever may have caused this sudden onslaught.
It's the last moment of the dream you can't shake off, when he just clonks to the ground like a ragdoll and doesn't move anymore - it plays in your head again and again and again and again.
"But he's here!" you scream at yourself inside through the brainfog, "he's here he's here he's here", and you cling even more and your muscles start to hurt and twitch but he's here, and he's warm and alive and he rubs gentle circles on your back and..
"Laarika. Breathe."
You try to breathe in - and eventually fresh air does reach your lungs, even tough it's through hitched sobs.
He's here, and you can feel him, and smell him and hear him and..
You look up, find his eyes in the visor, locked on to you and worried.
He cups your cheeks and gently wipes away some tears with his thumbs.
"I've never heard you scream like this. It rang through all the way to the cockpit!"
"I saw you die," tears refill your eyes as your lips start to tremble again.
"I saw you die, and i couldn't get through to you. Through the thick door. I couldn't get through, I couldn't .. there was just this thick door and silence and shadows coming for you from everywhere and I couldn't do anything... "
He remembers his own bad dream he had a while ago.
"That's the worst thing about nightmares," he mumbles quietly. "Being helpless. Not able to do anything..."
You nod weakly.
Silence falls around you, as you both hang in your own thoughts, the background hum and beeping of the ship wrapping around you like a safe blanket.
Then Paz's arms tighten around you.
"Couldn't reach you, too," he grumbles. You look up and see his eyebrows knitted together through the tinted visor. "The other night, I mean. You plunged and plunged, always out of reach. And I was too slow. Just.. too slow... " You can hear his grinding teeth even through the helmet.
You sneak a hand under his buy'ce and cup his scruffy cheek.
"You got to me now..."
He nods and leans into your hand, calming down himself now.
"Thank the stars this door opened voluntarily."
He chuckles and you can only imagine what he'd have done to the door had it been less willing to open.
He bows his head and connects his forehead to yours, and, breathing in, you find that you've calmed down, too.
"You okay now?"
"Yeah," you whisper. "You?"
"Hm," he confirms.
"Can we snuggle a bit?"
He doesn't answer, but switches off the light and climbs into the bed, placing the helmet under it.
You curl up, and he curls around you, and soon you fall asleep again, feeling safe and secure between the cool shipwall and the warm wall that is Paz.
---
Translations and pronunciations (if available) from www.mandoa.org, and The Total Guide to Mandalorian Language by Tal'jair Rusk:
dush --- [doosh] --- bad, wrong
nuhoy'sure --- dreams (I made this up xD)
from:
nuhoy -- [noo-HOY] -- sleep (n.)
sur -- [soor] -- sight, picture before the eyes, something the eyes see at the given moment
-e -- plural suffix after consonants
keldabe -- headbutt (in this case, softly bringing each other's foreheads together xD)
Laar'ika -- Little Song, Paz's nickname for Reader, from: laar -- [lar] -- song and -'ika -- diminutive suffix
Explicit (18+)
Zara was unable to fall back asleep. Having nightmares wasn’t new although they always bothered her. The idea of seeing her men dead on the ground and it being her fault.. it was something she always feared.
That was what made her work so hard. They relied on her, and she would never let a stupid mistake lead to their demise. It was bad enough when they died when she did everything right. But knowing they could just be gone because of a misstep?
Her anxiety stared to get the best of her, so she forced herself to move on from the dream. Which left her with the argument with her captor. She wasn’t sure what made her more upset; being trapped or the fact that he kept bring up love.
Zara convinced herself that he had to be wrong. Anakin would have told her if he legitimately loved her, right? All the nights they spent together and missions they completed would leave more than enough time for him to tell her if he had legitimate feelings.
Sure, he let his hand linger on her shoulder just a little too long. And there were times that he snagged her out of danger and held her close as they both realized just how close to death that had been. But didn’t friends do that?
She leaned forward and let her face rest in her hands. No. Anakin would have told her if he loved her. He would have told her, with no joke in his voice, that it was more.
Zara was sure of it.
Maybe.
She could feel when Obi Wan finally succumbed to his own exhaustion and it set her even more on edge. She looked around quietly, keeping tabs on his signature across the building. There had been hope she could find her saber, but he must have stashed it away somewhere.
Zara sat back down, thinking of Anakin more.
“My dear, pull the right strings and anyone could fall to the dark. He has a weakness, and it is you.”
No. He would never fall to the dark. He is dedicated and strong. Anakin had the strength and determination that Zara always strived to have. He would never leave the order.
Her mind flashed to him asking her if she was running away and leaving. He had been quick to ask that but.. no. He was just kidding. She chuckled to herself but could tell, even to her own ears, that it was forced. She decided to meditate, letting her mind relax and find clarity.
She laid on the ground, looking up at the stars feeling peace.
“Hey Zar?”
She hummed and turned her head, looking at a peaceful looking Anakin. His hair was splayed out around his head and she could see the scar above his eye healing. She had wanted to force heal it, but he had resisted, saying he wanted to let it heal on its own.
“Do you ever think what it would be like without the war?”
“Of course I do. All the time.”
“No.. I..”
She watched as Anakin rolled on his side, tucking his arm under his head. She turned as well, mimicking his movements and giving him a soft smile.
“I mean, away from the order.”
“You mean if we weren’t Jedi?”
“Yeah.”
She thinks to herself and blinks a few times.
“I mean, I remember what it was like. Life was okay.”
“I remember what it was like too. I was a slave remember?”
“Yeah, I remember.”
Anakin looked at her and chewed at his bottom lip.
“I guess, do you ever think about what it would be like to just.. leave?”
“Leave the order?”
“Yeah.”
“No.”
“Oh.”
They fell into a silence and Zara felt her eyes start to close, exhaustion from the day setting in.
“I have.”
“Hmm?”
“I’ve wondered what it would be like for us to just.. go.”
“Us?”
“Yeah. I mean.. we are always together. I can’t.. can’t really see my life without you in it.”
Zara chuckled and smiled again.
“I don’t really think of things like that, Ani. Nothing means more to me than the order. Than becoming a Master.”
Zara thought she saw a flash of heartbreak, but Anakin quickly chucked, rolling onto his back.
“Yeah, you’re right. Just a silly passing thought of what if. Not like we would ever leave the Order.”
Zara snapped out of her meditation and started to panic. No. No the Sith had to be messing with her memories. Messing with her thoughts. She jumped up and started pacing, needing to calm herself down. She was always the calm one.
“Think of something else, Zara. Calm down. Get your shit together. Your men need you to get through this in one piece.”
Zara met Cody the day she was sent on her first mission. Master Windu had walked her down to the shuttles, handing her off to the Commander. She followed him onto the ship and sat at the table, asking him what his input on the mission objectives were.
“No offense, sir, but you are the General.”
“I am aware of my rank designation, Commander. I’m also aware of your extensive training and service record. I would say you are well decorated, but you never accept any awards.”
Cody looked uncomfortable as he shifted his weight to the other leg.
“I’m just doing my job, sir.”
“And I am just doing mine.”
She sighed and closed the holomap in front of her.
“Commander, my combat training outside of the force pales in comparison to yours. It is my job to lead, but leadership to me means using all of my assets. That includes you. I never want to win a battle at the expense of live.”
“Many people don’t see us closes as people.”
She reached over and clasped his arm, holding onto his armor.
“On this ship, and under my command, you all matter. Just as much as I do. You are all my men and no loss is an acceptable one. I feel you all in the force as separate lights just as everyone else. Do you understand?”
“Yes, sir.”
Zara groaned in frustration as she worried about Cody and the rest of the troopers. Who would even be commanding them? She thought of different Jedi who could be in charge, and it made her chest tighten.
When she looked down to see her boots by the door, she decided she had no other choice. She couldn’t stay with her captor. There was a lack of clarity she wanted to rip out of her head even if it meant doing something risky. She told herself that Anakin wouldn’t sit around and wait at the mercy of anyone. It wasn’t her normal avenue of actions but hers obviously weren’t working. She shut her eyes and spoke like a mantra that Anakin would want her to fight. He would want her to escape.
Zara quickly pulled on her boots and grabbed a large jacket by the door. She could feel the chill coming through the door but knew that was the only time it was going to happen.
“I am a Jedi knight. I can do this. I can get back and warn the council. I can save Anakin. I can get back to my men.”
She winced when the cold hit her face and she realized then Obi Wan would feel the air change. She pulled the door shut and started running off in the direction she thought they had come from. There were still some footprints, but it was hard to follow. Snow had drifted over part of their journey, so she stopped to look around. Between the cold and running, her chest was heaving trying to pull in air.
---
Veth woke up with a start, feeling the cold air hit his face. He had left his door open to make sure that he heard her cry out in her sleep again. He quickly realized that he could no longer feel her signature.
He started to panic, worrying about her. The planet was frigid even during the day, let alone in the dark. He figured that she didn’t have his gear on to fight the cold, so he ran out into the living area to see her gone and the door wide open.
As he started to get his gear on, he wondered if she had ever been on that rough of a planet. He knew that she preferred the warm, just by his own observations of watching her on different missions.
He grabbed both lightsabers from the hidden compartment under the table, and ran out the door, hoping that he would find her quickly.
---
Zara continued to run, feeling the sting of the cold start to really affect her lungs. The planet was dark at night, but the singular moon was lighting up the snow-covered ground.
“Zara! Zara you are going to die trying to run off like this!”
She whipped around to her captor having already caught up to her.
“I can’t stay here! I can’t let you manipulate me and hurt Anakin. I won’t!”
“You’re smarter than this!”
“Let me go! If you have one shred of decency in you, let me go!”
“Just a few hours ago you were convinced I was evil incarnate. Now you want me to show decency. My dear, you need to make up your mind.”
“Obi-Wan. Please!”
“How can you ask me for rational thoughts when you ran out here, into the cold, on your own!?”
Zara looked around, hoping she had missed something around. The lack of anything around them kicked up her panic even more.
“I had to go! I had to run. You.. you got in my head! You were making me think of things and twisted up the memories.”
“What? I was asleep.”
“Don’t lie to me!”
“I have not lied to you, Zara. I would like to think that I am a formidable force user and foe, but I am not talented enough to manipulate your thoughts while I am, myself, sleeping. Perhaps I should try though, it could be useful.”
“Let me go! Please. Please just.. let me go.”
He stood up tall and shrugged his jacket off, letting it fall to the ground. He tossed something to Zara, and she caught it quickly, gasping when she realized it was her saber. She looked back up at him as he ignited his blood red blade. The light danced off the snow, illuminating everything around them.
“Fight me. If you can best me, I’ll deliver you back to the temple myself.”
“And if I don’t?”
“Then you stay here and stop trying to get yourself killed.”
She looked down at her saber and considered what he was saying. She had yet to actually see him fight.
“Letting me go would be directly going against your Master.”
“It would.”
“Wouldn’t he punish you?”
He chuckled darkly.
“He would very likely attempt to kill me.”
“Then why offer me this?”
“If I can’t best a new Jedi Knight then I don’t deserve to keep her captive.”
She wondered what the catch was. The Jedi taught a lot about the Sith and their manipulations, but this just seemed straight forward. He was offering to fight her and let her go if she won. There couldn’t be a catch, right?
Resolution washed over her. She ignited her blade and a sick smile spread across the Siths face. He stood up taller, always ready and wanting a fight. His eyes turned a deeper shade of amber and it changed how on edge she was. She carefully pulled off her own jacket and set it down, not taking her eyes off her enemy. He spun his saber a few times easily and fluidly. If she hadn’t been so focused, she would have been impressed by his technique.
“Come on, darling, it’s cold out here. Time to get this over with so we can get back in the warmth of our home.”
Zara wanted to snarl but instead closed her eyes and took a deep steadying breath. She let herself feel everything within the force. She trusted herself and her abilities. When she opened her eyes, she had a new look of determination. She no longer looked at him as Obi Wan, lost Jedi. He was Lord Veth and he needed to be defeated.
She needed to get home to Anakin and stop whatever scheme was going on behind closed doors. Her men needed her and the lack of trust she had with other Jedi leading them would need to be deal with later, but for now she needed to fight. She wanted to figure it out to save everyone, save the entire order she devoted her life to, but right then she needed to defeat Veth.
Veth was the first to move forward, quicker than she expected. She pulled up her own saber at the last moment, steeling herself when their sabers clashed together. He gave her a dangerous smile and broke away, quickly striking again with a fury she was not prepared for.
Over and over, he smashed his saber down, forcing her to keep hers close to stop him from striking her down. She was able to block every swing, but it frustrated her. They all used to watch holovids of fights and different styles but fighting against that type of ferocity was entirely different.
She could tell he was holding back and only pushing forward to keep her unbalanced. There were at least a half dozen times he could have finished her with how damn fast he was, but he didn’t which added to her frustration. He felt her frustration and laughed when they locked their sabers together again.
“Darling, have I told you how stunning you look in my clothes?”
She looked up at him, slightly distracted by the red dancing across his face. He was barely exerting any energy and she felt like she was about to crumble. He looked down at her and felt a twinge of guilt and pity. Her own green saber was making her face look innocent, which was only contributing to the fear in her eyes. She wasn’t ready for a fight with him, and he knew it.
“Just give up, little knight. Your order didn’t train you enough to last in this fight. I can see it written all over your face.”
In frustration, Zara shot her arm out, using the force to push him back. He was able to keep himself on his feet as he immediately moved forward again. With a grin, Zara raised her hand again and a bright light emanated around her. Veth shielded his eyes, temporarily caught off balance as the light reflected off the ground.
“Oh, little knight, you surprise me.”
“Stars, do you ever shut up?”
“How rude, we were having such a good conversation. How long are you going to keep this up? I’m stronger than you are, sweetheart. You aren’t going to best me in battle, not with what little training you have.”
She knew he was right. Between fighting off the cold and trying to use the force so much she was getting exhausted. She stepped forward a few steps, hoping the blinding light would protect her movements just a bit. When she dropped her arm and ceased the blinding light, she quickly brought her saber down. Veth seemed to be expecting it when he easily blocked her blow.
“Oh, aren't you a tricky one.”
“Just shut up!”
“How very rude of you, my dear. I quite appreciate a good conversation. I thought you had a similar thought process.”
She continued swinging a few times, trying to hit hard but any time she thought she could hit a hard blow that would hurt him, she held back at the last moment. His face hardened and he swung hard enough to push her backward, knocking her off balance.
“How insulting. I didn’t give you a chance to escape just to have you hold back.”
Zara huffed and went to blind him with light again mid swing, but stopped short when his arm shot up, using the force to wrap tightly around her throat.
“Now, now. That wasn’t very admirable. You are so much better than cheap tricks.”
He kept the force on her long enough that she dropped her saber and clawed at herself. He watched her struggle until tears welled in her eyes.
“Do you yield, darling?”
She shook her head, and he sighed in annoyance. He let go, letting her crash to the ground with a thud. When she tried to move further than up to her knees, she realized that he was still using the force to keep her in place.
“I’m not killing you. Nice try though.”
He held his saber up to her chest and watched as the red danced off her face.
“Yield.”
“Why? You said you won’t kill me.”
“I can maim you. Maybe cut one of your legs off so you can’t run anymore. You only really need one hand. Hope you get my point.”
She glared up at him in defiance. He sighed and moved the blade forward, pressing it against her shoulder. Zara cried out from the burn, and he shifted his weight, clearly annoyed.
“I’m not really into torture, dear. Please just yield so we can go inside.”
“No.”
“Fine, if you insist.”
He reached forward and touched her head, rendering her unconscious instantly. He caught her and pulled her limp body close to his. Once he made sure he had both sabers he started towards the cabin.
---
Once inside, he made a makeshift bed on the floor next to the fire. He laid her on it and gently pulled her now wet clothes off, leaving her in her breastband and underwear. He hoped she wouldn’t panic once she woke but anticipated her assuming he did something terrible to her.
“Guess I am just as foolish as you if I am to assume you aren’t so indoctrinated to think I wouldn’t harm you in the vilest of ways.”
He checked the wound and winced. He really did not want to hurt her in the least. Although she was fighting admirably, especially once she realized that she would not win, her holding back against him wounded his pride. Sure, he held back on her, but he would have killed her the first strike if that weren’t the case.
“It always surprises me how much the Jedi handicap their own. Whatever technique you chose to use does not fit you. Had they gotten to know you at all, they would see that aggressive tactics are not part of who you are. But what do I know, just a stupid Sith, right?”
She winced in her sleep, making him pause for a moment. She looked peaceful laying on the floor, albeit a bit cold. It made him see just how much she was guarding around him, and it made him feel something. He wasn’t sure why it bothered him to know she wasn’t comfortable or at ease in his home, but it did.
“Not that you need to be aggressive to win a fight. The absence of aggression is not the same as holding back. I held back to avoid harming you. I understand that we are destined to fight against each other, but it would be such a waste to snuff out your existence so early.”
He shook his head and placed a bacta patch on the spot, gently pressing the adhesive to her skin. Once he pulled the blanket on her, making sure she was covered completely, he sat back, letting the full effect the cold had on him hit.
“I think, my dear, that you may be the most confusing person I have ever the pleasure to meet. I suppose it’s a good thing that we have all the time to get to know each other. Perhaps you will see the Jedi are a farce and that you can be so much more than they allow you be. Although perhaps I am the fool to think that you would ever allow something like that. Zara Fross, future Jedi Master.”
He chuckled darkly and crossed his arms over his chest, looking at her, trying not to let his frustrations with the order skew too much of who she was in his eyes.
Armorer: “she saw the mythosaur. This has been prothesized so we must follow what she needs to do.”
Din: “but she wouldn’t have found it if I hadn’t fallen ass first into a hole..”
Paz: “not her fault you keep tripping into side quests and character development for everyone but yourself. Get the weird eared kid and let’s go. We have a home to build.”
im sorry but writing enemies to lovers on ao3 is so fucking funny. one of them will go a whole paragraph saying how much they hate, absolutely despise, have genuine burning contempt for the other and we’re all here knowing damn well that enemies to lovers tag is just sat there. like we already know what’s coming bro you’re just embarrassing yourself
the appeal of enemies to lovers though is less “oh will they ever get together?” and more “at what exact point does he go from wanting to kill the bitch to the oh in italics?”
vaporwave
romaincrisis
theartofmadeline
jbbartram-illu
dededos
baratheonpilled
