Me, not talking: Ah fuck, I am being weird
Me, talking: Ah fuck, I am being weird
KIROKAZE
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Xuebing Du
Cosmic Funnies

祝日 / Permanent Vacation
Today's Document

@theartofmadeline

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wallacepolsom
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
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ellievsbear

tannertan36

titsay

Origami Around
Peter Solarz
Game of Thrones Daily
d e v o n

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@corsen
Me, not talking: Ah fuck, I am being weird
Me, talking: Ah fuck, I am being weird
Good snarky reality check for a perfectionist like me! by Claefer
y’all i truly do understand that being depressed is hard as shit but you cannot be dropping how much you hate yourself into completely unrelated conversations
What if I say it in a funny way tho
its not actually that funny, it’s actually really uncomfortable
Okay I was lightheartedly making a joke but since a couple peeps have come at me about it, I think it’s even more uncomfortable to go after people with mental illnesses who could be doing something a lot less healthy. If someone does this, make it known to them. Don’t post it out there for every depressed person to see. You’re basically saying “hey don’t tell people how you’re feeling its uncomfortable.” Those with depression feel like a burden enough without you pushing the agenda more.
i literally have depression. and i didn’t say ”don’t vent”, i said ”don’t drop how much you hate yourself into COMPLETELY UNRELATED conversations”.
not only is it an incredibly unhealthy coping mechanism that just mentally reinforces that you’re everything you’re saying about yourself, it is, as i said, INCREDIBLY uncomfortable for other people in the conversation to be talking about, like, their elementary school yearbooks, only for you to drop in the fun fact that you hate yourself. there’s no way to respond without either completely derailing the conversation or just kind of... ignoring that. the former is exhausting if it’s repeated behavior and the latter is like, a really shitty thing to do, because your problems deserve to be addressed.
Leaving aside how incredibly likely it is that you'll trigger someone else in that groupchat that also has mental issues, and can't afford to hear a joke about it right now, And leaving aside that it's emotionally manipulative, which... you probably understand what it's like to be emotionally manipulated, and you probably don't want to do to other people, Here's the thing: We all know depression is trying to fuck you over, right? Like, it's your brain doing its level best to ruin your life? Well, this is one of the ways it does that. Here's how it works:
You drop a self-hatred/suicide/depression/whatever "joke" into a completely unrelated conversation
The other person/people involved in that conversation have only two choices a) they agree to derail the conversation, and try to comfort/help you. Then, when you do it again in a later conversation, they feel like they must be bad friends because they weren't able to help. People who think they're bad friends will, because they care and want you to have good friends, start spending less time with you. Your depression uses this to ~*prove~* that no one likes you and everyone will leave you eventually. b) they do not derail the conversation. Your depression uses this to *~prove*~ that no one cares about you.
PROFIT! (In the sense that you now have 10% more depression than you had before)
And here's the crucial thing: there is no other choice. There is no branch of this plot tree where anything good happens to you. The only possible outcomes of this game are that you get more depressed, and more convinced that your depression is right. (Your depression uses this to ~**~prove~**~ that everything is awful forever and nothing you do will change it because every outcome is even worse than what you have now.) The only winning move is not to play.
All well and good, but what can you do instead? Therapy. I know if you live in the US or in countries with underdeveloped mental health infrastructure, this may not be an option, but it is by far the best thing to do if it's available to you. With COVID, most therapy appointments are by phone anyway, so look into telehealth/text-based/online options. Haven't tried therapy but feel icky about it based on what you've heard? Here's actual reports from actual therapy recipients: [x] Have tried therapy and it went badly? Try a different type: [x] (Also see the next link about how to fire your current therapist and find a better one) Interested but not sure how to start? Here's a guide: [x] Practice handling negative emotions. Here's a guide to get you started: [x] Practice challenging your thoughts. Depressed brains throw out all kinda shit: "I'm useless" "everything always goes wrong" "I can't do anything right" etc. All of the above statements are objectively, demonstrably false. Took out the trash once? You're not useless. Your phone's still working well enough for you to access the groupchat? At least one thing has gone right. Hey, remember the time you took out the trash? You did that right. Now of course you know and I know that that's not the point -- what you meant was that you're too useless to find and keep a job and so you're going to fail to survive under this capitalist hellsociety we've created and you're afraid of dying. But that is a very different thought. And forcing yourself to think those nuanced, accurate thoughts is a significant step forward (for reasons that would require a whole other post to detail) Ask your friends for permission to dump on them. Of course you are totally allowed to talk to your friends about what you're going through! That's what friends are for, and you would never want to encourage your depression by believing that your friends don't care about you. But your friends are (alas) imperfect broken beings also, and they aren't always in a place where they can be your support, just like you aren't always in a place where you can do that for them. So how do you tell? You ask! Consent is cool, kids! "Hey, I'm having a hard time and I need a friend. You gotta minute?" "Do you have the spoons/bandwidth to help me with some kinda heavy stuff?" "I'm not doing well. Can I dump on you?" "My brain is lying to me. Can you help me talk through it?" Call a hotline. Those people are prepared to deal with heavy shit, and can actually help. Most areas have a toll-free option; many have several. Save them as a contact on your phone. Learn about mental health, emotional intelligence, boundary setting, self-advocacy, emotional resilience, and recovery through books or podcasts. Sometimes your situation is such that you're not gonna be able to access any real help. There are still things you can do on your own. Here's my list of the books I've found most helpful (many my also be available through your library [x]) Give your friends specific, actionable things they can do to help. Ask if they'll send you a check-in text each morning. Ask them to shoot you with a dart gun every time you say something self-deprecating [x]. Ask them to play Real or Not Real when your brain starts lying to you. Ask them to call the therapist to set up your first appointment. Ask them to go with you to get coffee after. Ask them to help you pick a therapy book to work through; ask them to work through it with you. Ask them to help you challenge your thoughts. When you realize that actually this self-hatred spiral is because you're terrified that bombing that algebra test tomorrow is gonna ruin your chances for a happy life, ask them to help you study algebra. They want to help. They just don't know how to do it unless you tell them.
Small Town Grocery Store Stories: LGBTQ+ friendly edition
Me: minding my own damn business in the grocery store
One of my students and a few of his teammates enter the dairy aisle.
My student is holding hands with one of his teammates.
My student: Oh hey, Professor X!
Me, who has both my student and his girlfriend in my class: …Hello
My student, looking at his hand-holding partner: Oh! Don’t worry. My girlfriend knows. Not that I’m cheating! I’m not cheating. I’m not gay.
Hand Holding boy: Not that being gay is a bad thing! It’s a good thing!
My student: Right! But no, listen. We aren’t together, we just hold hands in public sometimes.
Hand Holding Boy: Especially on Friday nights. And weekends. And at away games.
My student: Because sometimes people will say shit and then we can punch them! And if the fight started because someone was being homophobic, coach won’t get mad at us.
Hand Holding Boy: Always nice to punch a homophobe. And [gesturing to another boy in the group] maybe they’ll think twice about saying something to [other boy’s name] if he ever gets a boyfriend and wants to hold his hand for real. The Gay One, resigned but smiling: I’ve decided it’s sweet and not really fucking weird.
This is what “boys will be boys” is meant to be
This is the best thing I’ve seen in a while.
Just wanted to put a plug in for one of my new fav websites, Can I Play That?, which focuses on accessbility reviews of video games by disabled gamers. As someone with a dexterity/mobility disability in my hands (carpal tunnel) I NEED games that allow easy and convenient ways to push buttons to do stuff and let me rebind keys at will. I’m now checking Can I Play That? before buying games since their reviews are ++. They include accessibility reviews for deaf/hard of hearing and cognitive disabiliies too.
Can I Play That provides accessibility focused game reviews and news. For Disabled Gamers, By Disabled Gamers.
my partner has lived with me for 2 years and it took until very very recently for me to realize that if I get stuck in Executive Dysfunction Can’t Do Task Mode Guilt Spiral Paralysis, I can say to him (or message him) “I’m stuck” and he will… help?
like 99% of the time there’s a real reason I get “stuck”, maybe my next task has too many steps for my current energy level, or there are multiple things that need doing and I can’t decide which to do first, or I’m trying to think through the multi-step task but there’s an unknown factor that could throw everything off (like, ok I will go to the kitchen, I will get eggs out of the fridge, I will turn on the stove and crack eggs into a pan… but I can’t remember if that pan is clean, what if I have to wash it? better start over. I will go to the kitchen, I will wash the pan, I will get eggs out of the fridge… do we have enough eggs? etc)
but lately I say to my partner “I’m stuck” and he says “how can I help” and I can say “I need to shift the laundry and cook dinner but I only have energy for one of those so it should be the laundry because that’s already started but I was really looking forward to cooking” and he will just quietly go shift the laundry so I can cook. Or one time I wanted to drink the iced coffee I had in the fridge because it was summer, but the AC was on and I felt cold, so I should just make hot coffee, only I had already made the cold coffee and it wouldn’t keep forever, only I was too cold to enjoy it… and eventually I told my my partner this and he just, turned off the AC?? which never would have occurred to me lol.
and I’m writing this not to be all like “ooooh my boyfwiend uwu” but mostly because… his approach is so opposite how my parents ever responded to Can’t Do Task Mode in myself or my siblings. I remember my mom yelling at my brother “You’re stuck! GET UNSTUCK! GET UNSTUCK!” so that’s what my brain does when I’m stuck. I just yell at myself to move and don’t move and asking for help feels unbelievably shameful because I SHOULD just be able to Not Be Like This. But I’m not, and I can’t. I need help sometimes and that’s ok. Just because my brain has decided something is a Massive Obstacle doesn’t mean that it’s a proportionately Massive Burden to anyone I might ask for help. If you’re beating yourself up because you can’t handle something tiny, why shouldn’t you pass it off to someone for whom it IS tiny?
but in order to do that you need a helper who doesn’t judge and editorialize, and I never had that until now. I hope to live in a world where parents of neurodivergent children act like my partner, not like my parents. Knowing that I CAN ask taught me to pick out WHAT to ask, and knowing what specific bit of the situation you’re snagged on is incredibly helpful for coping with executive dysfunction. When there was no help, there was no point in figuring out where the problem lay. I wish my siblings and I and all the other similar kids hadn’t been asked “What’s your problem?” as a rhetorical question. It’s so hard to unlearn that judgement.
A comic about controlling your symptoms and trying to get other people to understand why it’s so hard to do so, in goo form
If you're ever bored, here's a list of Studio Ghibli films you can watch for free.
Castle In The Sky (1986) Grave of the Fireflies (1988) My Neighbor Totoro (1988) Kiki’s Delivery Service (1989) Only Yesterday (1991) Porco Rosso (1992) Pom Poko (1994) Whisper of the Heart (1995) Princess Mononoke (1997) My Neighbors the Yamadas (1999) Spirited Away (2001) The Cat Returns (2002) Howl’s Moving Castle (2004) Tales from Earthsea (2006) Ponyo On A Cliff From The Sea (2008) The Secret World of Arrietty/The Borrower Arrietty (2010) From Up on Poppy Hill (2011)
If any of the links stop working, please let me know so I can fix it.
For Castle In The Sky, wait for the free user button to be clickable and it will send you to the video.
how do I not share this, though (HIGHLY RECOMMENDING HOWL’S MOVING CASTLE IT’S MY FAVORITE)
Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind (1984) The Tale of the Princess Kaguya (2013) The Wind Rises (2013)
These are so good if you need something to calm you down on a bad day or after panics :)
legitimate fucking lifehack: discord server literally just for yourself to keep track of stuff over devices. links. reminders and checklists. all neatly divided into categories. search function and dates. why didnt i do this earlier oh my god.
I sometimes send myself links on Habitica todos, personally…
A friend of mine posted this and tagged my old instagram account, asking me to share it. I figured sharing it here where I actually have a following, would be far better.
Please remember that just because the government is giving into pressure and greed, that doesn’t mean that any of this is getting any better, in a lot of ways it’s getting worse. And even if you yourself aren’t being as heavily affected anymore, there are people and communities that are.
Stay safe Darling ones, and help others remain safe too.
Yá’át’ééh (greetings in Navajo) my name is Terrell Benally. I am a first year Indige… Terrill Benally needs your support for Navajo Reservat
Navajo Nation Donate
Help DigDeep bring clean, running water to hundreds of American families. 1 in 3 Navajo homes don't have a tap or toilet. We can fix that.
The Navajo Nation and Hopi Reservation are extreme food deserts with only 13 … Ethel Branch needs your support for Navajo & Hopi Families CO
Hey There World Changers! We need your help! Help us #helptherez Native American H… Prados Beauty needs your support for PPE FOR NATIVE AMER
The Navajo Nation COVID-19 Fund has been established to help the Navajo Nat… Navajo Nation needs your support for Official Navajo Nation CO
Thank you Darling.
We need to thank the Navajo a nation! They all got out and voted with no cars and few polling places- their population was enough to swing BOTH Arizona and New Mexico
This is Navajo organiser Allie Young and her “voting squad” on the way to the polls. They rode 10 miles to vote early!
[Image: is a photograph of a group of eight Navajo people on horseback. End]
i love one (1) disaster wizard
It’s a good metaphor tho, because the situation is never going to get better if you don’t eventually pull the door. And afterwards, no matter what the damage was, you’ll have a working cabinet, whatever plates you could salvage, and a place to start putting new plates.
Reblogging for that comment ^
Hats off for negative jokes turned to wholesome posts
So this was me for a long time. Afraid to open the door, certain that all that I was would crash and break. That I could never be repaired.
But I opened the door.
And what fell out and crashed to the ground was not me. They weren’t my dishes.
They were other people’s dishes.
Put inside we without my permission, when I was too young to know that I could not hold them all.
I opened the door, and I’m still here.
It turns out, I’m not that fragile.
Oh damn it got better
THANK YOU TWO FOR MAKING OUR LIVES A LITTLE BETTER
If you’re ever in this situation like in the picture literally, you can grab a big laundry basket with a blanket and cushion then hold it with one hand while in front of the cupboard. When you open the cupboard, the plates will fall to the laundry basket and should not break or at least even if the plates hit each other, the damage should be minimal.
You can also see it as having a support system. It’s okay to let go of that excess baggage because that person grabbing the basket is willing to help you. You are not alone; you can open that door now.
When trans women are mocked and made into jokes in the media, I get very upset, and I am often told “Kay, you can’t go through life getting offended every time someone makes a joke.” And I sputter and object but they don’t hear me. So I want to be clear for once, about why the jokes make me angry.
I learned to hate myself for being transgender before I knew I was transgender. I laughed at the jokes in stand up comedy routines, and prime time sitcoms, and animated comedy shows, and in the movies, and in books, and in games, laughing at trans women for existing, about “men in dresses”, about people who “got their dicks chopped off”, and I learned to think that was worthy of ridicule.
And then a day came when I felt a pang of envy at what my female classmates were wearing and I repressed it, and felt guilty, and a day where I felt incomplete because I had no breasts and I repressed it and I felt disgusting And a day when I realized the only images of romance that made me feel anything showed two women together and I repressed it and I felt like a monster And a day when I realized I felt sick when I looked at myself in the mirror after every shower before work and couldn’t bear to look at my own face, and I hated myself. And then there came a day when I hated myself so much, and I thought I could never understand why, and so I just wanted it all to end. And it was just a miracle that I swerved my car back into my lane in time.
And all of it started with a joke that I heard on TV, and then kept hearing from all the voices from the ether, over and over and over, worming an idea into my mind before I was old enough to realize I was absorbing it, the idea that a man in a dress is funny, and that changing your body parts makes you a freak, and that women who have penises instead of vaginas are liars and hurt men. And they’re still making these jokes. And somewhere out there right now, just like all those years ago, there is a little girl in a t-shirt and cargo shorts with buzzed off hair watching the TV, hearing that joke and absorbing it without knowing it, who will someday have to pry herself apart to tear it out of her head, just like I did.
That is, if she doesn’t kill herself first.
I know this is a really heavy post but if you read it and you appreciated it, I’d appreciate it in return if you reblogged it. This is really important to me and I want people to read it and understand it. Thank you.
How Big Oil lied about "recyclable" plastics
Exxon knew.
They knew, 50 years ago, that they were going to murder the planet and our species with their oil.
And they acted.
Oh, how they acted!
They created a campaign of lies to distort the public perception of climate change.
https://exxonknew.org/
Exxon knew.
They knew in ‘73, when their researchers told them: plastics would never be recycled. There would not be a cost effective way to recycle plastic.
And they acted.
They created a disinformation campaign to convince us plastic COULD be recycled.
https://www.npr.org/2020/09/11/897692090/how-big-oil-misled-the-public-into-believing-plastic-would-be-recycled
That campaign - the little recycling logos on our plastics, the upbeat videos about a future where plastic was part of a circular economy of use and recycling - convinced us to buy, wash, and sort plastic.
90% of that plastic was never recycled. It never will be.
NONE of those splashy campaigns - the announcement that all NYC school plastics would be recycled, the recycling in national parks - ever worked. They all lasted long enough to get some upbeat press, and then they quietly shut down.
This week’s NPR/Planet Money investigation by Laura Sullivan doesn’t just talk to the ex-chief lobbyists, now serving as belated Oppenheimers, lamenting the impending destruction of our planet.
It also talks to the current round of executives who have announced a fresh round of plans to recycle plastics - completely disingenuous, insultingly obvious distraction tactics to convince us that their projections of TRIPLING production by 2050 isn’t a form of mass murder.
Then Sullivan circles back to those retired executives, the ones who oversaw the first disinformation campaign, and they confirm that this latest round of promises are literally the same tactic, barely updated for a world on fire.
The world is on fire. My sky has been orange all week. Our family’s socially distanced meetings with friends in parks or back yards have been cancelled because we cannot breathe outside.
Exxon - and Chevron, and the rest of Big Oil - knows.
In a secret recording released to the New York Times, oil execs meet to cheerfully discuss how they will burn the world and murder us all but make a buck in the process.
https://www.nytimes.com/2020/09/12/climate/methane-natural-gas-flaring.html
Their plans for climate change don’t involve reducing emissions - they’re building bunkers and hiring mercenaries to keep us at bay when we come for them. They know what they’ve done.
Exxon knows.
Exxon knows.
When I searched for the “Exxon Knew” campaign to find a link for this piece, the top of Google’s search results included a blisteringly expensive ad for a disinformation site, paid for by Exxon.
The sky is orange. The oceans are choking. The air is unbreathable. Your body is full of microplastics.
Exxon.
Fucking.
Knows.
From Olympus
Photo: Ana Martinez
Styling and Creative Direction: Mario Ville (Kattaca)
Makeup design and make up artist: Lewis Amarante for Kryolan and Pankr0
Makeup and hairdressing: Sergio Jiménez
Models: Ricardo Nkosi, Mary Ruiz, Lewis Amarante, Aya Gueye, Juana Mum, Karina Soro, Ruben Buika, Virginia Buika, Isabella Menam, Oliver Lewis, Megane Mercury, Mendes Vieira, Claudia Duharte, Taylor Oscar Ruiz, David Durrant, Marina Gomes, Oscar Chibuike, Guille Gibbs, Lil Bambina, Elian Coiscou and Tigi.
But wait! There’s MORE!