Evan☆

24 ★ he/him ★ AuDHD ★ multifandom nonsense ★ marauders blog: you-cant-be-sirius ★ main blog: irrelevantev★ insta: corvusev

[corvusetoile]

Nathan: Whose turn is it to give the pep-talk? Ben, sighing: Esther. Esther: Fuck shit up out there, but don’t die. Abaddon, wiping away a tear: So inspirational.

[corvusetoile]

Judge: Does the defendant have any special requests?

Viktor: Death penalty.

Jayce, from the gallery: Vik, it’s just a parking ticket.

Viktor, whispering into the mic: Please kill me.

[corvusetoile]

Caitlyn: What happened?!

Vi: Do you want the long version or the short version?

Caitlyn: Sh-short??

Vi: Shit's fucked.

Caitlyn: Okay, long.

Vi: Shit's very fucked.

[corvusetoile]

Garcia: Why can't any of you ever clean up after yourselves?

Morgan: I have a person who does that for me.

Garcia: Yeah, ME.

Morgan: I'm glad you agree.

[corvusetoile]

Laszlo: Nandor, we tried things your way. Nandor: No, we didn't. Laszlo: I did it in my head and it didn't work.

[corvusetoile]

Will: Why are you doing this?

Hannibal: Same reason I do everything, Will. To get somebody to like me.

[corvusetoile]

Jayce: Please, Viktor, after everything we’ve been through together. You can’t do this.

Viktor: I’m sorry, Jayce.

Jayce: I’m begging you. Don’t do it.

Viktor: It has to be done.

Jayce:

Viktor:

Jayce:

Viktor: *Places +4 card* Uno.

[corvusetoile]

Sam: This is a very powerful artifact. You’d be messing with some forces we don’t fully understand.

Dean: That sounds like a dare to me.

Sam: Oh my god.

[corvusetoile]

Martin: Question. When they shot Bambi's mother, did you find that a sad moment... at all?

Tim: I'm sure she's mounted on a nice wall in a fine home somewhere.

[corvusetoile]

Tim: My expectations are low, but they can always go lower.

[corvusetoile]

Peter: *standing on a balcony and sneezes* Miles: *standing on the roof* Bless you. Peter: God?!

[corvusetoile]

Hannibal, on the phone: What's up, Will? Will: I'm sitting in a pool of blood. Hannibal: ...Um, is it your blood? Will: I think so. Hannibal: Do you know where the blood is coming from? Will: Probably the stab wound. Hannibal: You've been stabbed?! Will: Oh, yeah, definitely.

[corvusetoile]

Nandor: We’re playing Scrabble. It’s a nightmare. Guillermo: Scrabble? Scrabble’s great. Nandor: Not when you’re playing with Colin Robinson, it’s not. He puts words like “ephemeral” and I put “dog.”

[corvusetoile]

Stede: It's pretty cold outside.. wanna hold hands? We should stay close.

Ed , blushing: Okay.

Izzy: It's fucking summer.

[corvusetoile]

Jayce: You know, you were right.

Viktor: About what specifically? Because I’m right about a lot of things.

[corvusetoile]

Heimerdinger: Oh, fiddlesticks! That really ruffles my feathers!

Viktor: Please, just say fuck.