"thorned braids" & "spiked braids.
image on the left is by artist tamara obukhova / toucheconomy on instagram; image on the right is by artist magdalena hart / rains and rivers on instagram.
Sade Olutola
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roma★
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noise dept.

Product Placement
Not today Justin

if i look back, i am lost
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hello vonnie
todays bird
macklin celebrini has autism
Interview Vampire Daily

#extradirty
YOU ARE THE REASON
cherry valley forever
ojovivo
taylor price
Keni
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@cosmic-h0rror
"thorned braids" & "spiked braids.
image on the left is by artist tamara obukhova / toucheconomy on instagram; image on the right is by artist magdalena hart / rains and rivers on instagram.
I always think of the description I saw years ago: Self-imposed deadlines don't help me, because I know the person who set them, and they're full of shit.
Give yourself the treat before you start. I'm serious. And ideally during the task and afterwards too.
Executive dysfunction comes from a lack of available dopamine. Common advice is wrong. You need to provide your own dopamine before you can start. Otherwise you're trying to run your car on empty.
"But what if I still don't do it" well you already weren't getting it done anyway. Now you have a little treat. Try again later.
You deserve kindness and care even when you aren't being productive.
(Also read How to Keep House While Drowning by KC Davis)
I give my students a LOT of techniques for starting writing when it feels overwhelming or daunting, but one of them is exactly this: dopamine load BEFOREHAND. It may sound weird to people on tumblr dot com, but a lot of people seriously struggle with executive dysfunction when it comes to writing literally anything, to the extent that it can cause such symptoms as panic, depression, and AI chatbot use.
I usually suggest this technique as a "Reverse Pomodoro." In the original Pomodoro, you work for 25 minutes and then take a break for 5 minutes (the times vary, but that's the essential ratio). People with executive dysfunction often find this insurmountable, and they get even more frustrated, and then the task seems even more difficult. So instead, flip those times.
FIRST, spend 25 minutes doing something energizing and engaging that you like to do. Not scrolling social media passively, not watching tv, not napping. Try something like colouring, doing yoga, running/walking around the block, talking about your favourite tv show with someone in real time, playing with the dog or cat, making and eating a lovely sandwich, hula hooping, something active. Having a little treat absolutely falls in this category!
(on the subject of little treats: refusing yourself food until you do work is for fucking Puritans and you can be kinder to yourself)
Then, after 25 minutes (or however long it takes to eat the sandwich or finish the yoga routine, it doesn't have to be exact), spend 5 minutes writing (or doing whatever you're struggling to start). Most people can coax themselves into doing something they find difficult for five minutes, if they have already filled up the joy/energy/engagement bucket. You can put a timer on for the 5 minutes if you want, or if you find that annoying, just work for as long as you like.
The other key is: don't push yourself to keep going when you're frustrated or tired—that will just reinforce the negative belief that you already have, which tells you that this task is painful to do, and needs to be avoided. If you've commonly had to force yourself to do this kind of task, that's likely part of why you think of it as painful and have trouble starting it now. Also, you should just, at a basic level, try not to put yourself in pain for the sake of productivity. So just do it till the good feelings run out. Then start hula hooping or colouring again for another 25 minutes. When the tank's refilled, try another 5 minutes of work, if you can. Adjust times to taste.
Not every technique works for everyone, but I've seen this one work for many students who are genuinely and seriously disabled by executive dysfunction. And many people find themselves getting more and more excited and engaged in the "difficult" task—because the good feelings from the hula hooping carry over, and because they're suddenly able to do the task without feeling pain, and feel accomplishment without feeling pain.
I also like mixing fun tasks in with the hard tasks. Fun tasks aren't the reward! They're still work! I still get breaks in between!
So, today, one of my terrible awful tasks was scrubbing a piece of the flooded basement floor. Not fun. Drank tea first, and played on Tumblr after.
But another task was researching the history of familial terms - aunt, uncle, niece, nephew, etc. - so I could make a fun post about omegaverse alternatives. I WANTED to do this. I LOVE linguistic research! But I was doing it to answer someone's question, so it was work that was benefiting others. Painted my nails first, made myself an electrolyte drink after.
This teaches your brain that work doesn't HAVE to be terrible! Slowly, my brain is learning to stop dreading things just because they were classified as work, and instead dread only the things that ACTUALLY suck.
(And it doesn't dread them as much, either! Mopping does, in fact, suck. But the downstairs den has been a pit of doom for a half-dozen years, and now that I had to throw a bunch of stuff out, I am REALLY enjoying looking at all the space. There's a little thrill when I start mopping, because I know I'll be able to stare around proudly after. That DID NOT used to happen!)
Smiling seeing cute kid/baby videos but then suddenly ain’t shit funny bc why are you posting your kids on the internet you dumb bitch take this shit down now don’t fucking do that
Actually embarrassing I have to send this text to the work gc
we have to stop moralizing the human condition and start jerking each other off while making out
I have had so many bad takes on this post and not only is this a breath of fresh air, I’m gonna kiss you for it, you get me
Eleanor Graham Vance, The Story of Tweets: A Cat, 1956
“Do dishes” and “take out trash” both require the use of a spell slot, vs “use phone” is a cantrip, and brother, I am a level one wizard
we all got that 1 friend that brings a sadomasochistic vibe 2 the hangout
buckle my shoe 😊
listening to a song you've already heard 100000 times but this time you notice backing vocals you never heard before
The other day i was getting rizzd the fuck upp by the crunchy latino cashier at trader joes. Just having a blast. Then the whole vibe changed when my card declined .
but i believe aang can save the world
"Whimsy" is truly a wretched term. What maketh thee so carefree?
thy mother
Art thou for fucking real
ive been rewatching ouran
I have a sort of patheticness and “about to cry any moment” look about me that some find endearing
wow that’s really cool. Do you mind if i get soul-crushingly sad for a moment