Welcome To My Twisted Churros

I'm gonna be on this stupid website until they shut it down

[fairycosmos]

you actually don't have to go on dating apps to find girlfriends. many beautiful women are waiting for you on rocks out at sea

[doing-90mph-in-central-london]

ⓘ This user is a malicious entity made of seafoam.

[rhube]

I just remembered that this was a thing that was HILARIOUS in 2006 and apparently that was ten years ago now.

Old people: join with me in remembering how funny we found this on LiveJournal.

Young people: look at this lolrus, it’s so happy, it has a bucket.

And then they stealed away the bucket and we realised we had fucked up a perfectly good elephant seal and given it anxiety.

[pipistrellus]

listen this vintage meme is high quality and i will hear nothing said against it

[rhube]

20 years. I am not happy about this.

[demonicsymphony]

I’m delighted at the bucket reappearing but dismayed at the passage of time

[ineptshieldmaid]

All hail the bukkit.

[important-animal-images]

[niceferatu]

this happened to my friends Jonathan and Thomas actually

[luna-azzurra]

Something neuroscience-y that helps with prose: attention is selective. A character will not notice everything in a room. They will notice what matters to their goal, fear, desire, training, wound, or obsession. A jealous character notices hands. a hungry character notices food. A soldier notices exits. A lonely character notices pairs. Description becomes character when attention has a bias.

[weepingchoir]

huh

[contemptible-scoundrel]

[katinguele]

Reblog this

[importantcatpics]

[hometoursandotherstuff]

[earhartsease]

[assassinregrets]

[jame7t]

pick ten people. now bully the weakest one. what do you get? that’s right.

you get bully points.

Spend these at a bully kiosk soon…

[1five1two]

Leopard Figurine. Mesopotamia. c. 3300-2900 BC.

[meidotan]

[juney-blues]

stairs are so funny. falling 100 meters will kill you. solution? fall 10 centimeters a thousand times.

[markadoo]

they invented all those neat si prefixes and people still talk like this

[395nm]

falling a hectometer will kill you. solution? fall a decimeter a kilotime.

[sluicer]

[steampunkforever]

I would still use my turn signals in the Mad Max Wasteland. They'd call me "Signal" because I'd hit my blinker before ramming the enemy hot rods into the side of a desert ravine. I'd use my turn signal every time. They would respect me for this.

[charl0ttan]

tomorrow im developing my theory of tuesday

[realshy]

it's already tuesday

[charl0ttan]

just as i theorized.

[adobe-outdesign]

Funniest sprite of all time is the Doctor from B2W2

> Holding a stethoscope to a Pokeball instead of just, you know, using it on the Pokemon directly

> Clearly can't hear anything because it's plastic

> Also can't hear anything because he's slapping the stethoscope against the Pokeball instead of pressing and holding it

> When he obviously fails to hear anything with his incredibly flawed method, he resorts to just holding it up to his ear as if that's going to help

> This man has not been to medical school

[pukicho]

I am offering english lessons under this post

[booloocrew-blog]

プキ先生、まずは汚い言葉を教えてください！

[pukicho]

I have no earthly clue what you’re saying to me right now

[toskarin]

bumped into a miscellaneous bloke on accident and he apologised but the poor cunt was 210cm (give or take) tall and I had some sort of malfunction and instead of sorry I apologetically said "tall man"

[toskarin]

he looked so confused and I hadn't even registered what I'd said wrong, so I was just looking at him with the blank, telltale stare of someone waiting for a response and then when it became apparent the conversation was over (had not occurred) I walked away like a stupid gnome