(。•ω•。)ﾉ♡

Here to sin

[omnificent-orion]

Can you imagine going through nine years of this bullshit?

[omnificent-orion]

Can you imagine going through ten years of this bullshit?

[proletarianprincess]

Why are you fat?

cause everytime i fuck your dad he makes me a sandwich

[sillysayaka]

and every time we kiss i swear i could fly

[xenosagaepisodeone]

little known fact: this piece is incomplete, before writing the final words banksy became consumed by hubris and jacked off so hard to his artistic genius that he died. the intense blood splatter is what was left upon climax, suggesting that banksy was going to mold this piece into his magnum opus before his great fall. in mourning of this tragic event, residents of nyc suggested that banksy now be referred to as Banksy, The Big Jerk Off.

[donovonshepard]

AHAHAHAHAHAH

hahahahahahaha

*wiping a single tear from my eye*

that is the SADDEST attempt at bullshit i’ve read in a while on here.

[xenosagaepisodeone]

nothing gets past this guy

[0xeyedaisy]

Thanks tumblr

[bippus]

pussy is a gateway hole. soon you’ll be fucking car mufflers and sewer pipes

[official-pussy-posts]

Official Pussy Post

[bippus]

This shitty little gimmick blog existed just long enough to be tagged on this post and hang itself on my doorstep

[thestateonmtv]

So with voting do you cum when a person get bitten into or when a person is swallowed or does it depend on the moment

[beachdeath]

usually you just mark a ballot with a pen or you select the candidate you want on a screen. sometimes you hole punch the ballot though

[everydaylouie]

Visit Original Link

[pukicho]

I've analyzed your materials and have deemed you insufficient for my particular needs

[alienpepper]

are you going to eat me

[pukicho]

Obviously not! You were insufficient for my needs.

[lkagome-chan]

[dragon-in-a-fez]

idk if I've told this story on here before but one time I was sitting at my desk at work and a random dog I'd never seen before strolled into my office and curled up at my feet. and I was like oh you are adorable but what the fuck?

then a woman knocked on the door and said "oh I'm so sorry he's a therapy dog he's trained to seek out people in severe distress"

and I was like right okay, just getting my whole life drive-by roasted by a dog then

[pmamtraveller]

Luca Ponsato - Does Anyone See My Suffering

[angelbabymikaa]

“tattoos are going out of style” they’ve been around for a thousand years im sorry you’re conservative now get well soon ig

[emi--rose]

You are less fashionable than Ötzi the ice man who had sick tattoos

[sleepyjim2]

ⓘ Tip: while sewing, you can unlock scary sewing by losing your needle somewhere on your bed.

[translating-posts-into-klingon]

qeS: bIQIS 'e' DaQobmoHlaH, QongDaqlIjDaq HujlIwlIj DachIlchugh

[ohhhyestottytottytotty]

May I suggest:

qeS: nIqghachDaq, QongDaqlIjDaq ngajmeylIj yIlIjchugh, nIqghach Qob yItIv.

Literal breakdown:

"Advice: At sewing, if you lose your small sharp things in your bed, enjoy dangerous sewing."

qeS: tip / advice

nIqghachDaq = in/at sewing

QongDaqlIjDaq = in your bed

ngajmeylIj = your needles (approx. “your small sharp things”)

yIlIjchugh = if you lose them

nIqghach Qob = dangerous sewing

yItIv = enjoy it

[translating-posts-into-klingon]

Hi fellow Klingon speaker! :D

Glad to see another translator in da house B) I just have a few things to say:

nIqghach is not a valid construction in Klingon, because you can only add the nominalizing suffix -ghach can only be added to a verb that already has another suffix attached to it (for example, nIqchu'ghach and nIqlI'ghach would be valid)

The verb nIq means to weave or knit - QIS is the verb which means to sew

The locative suffix -Daq can only be used for physical locations (eg. yuQDaq = located on the planet, juHDaq = located in the building), and can't be used on anything that isn't a place

ngaj is a verb meaning to be short in duration (as in, a short amount of time), and since it's a verb, it can't be used as a noun. Klingon actually has a word for needle - HujlIw

lIj means to forget, chIw is the verb meaning to lose/misplace an object

batlh Holmaj DaghojtaHjaj! (may you keep learning our language with honour!)

[mortimermcmirestinks]

op did you see this coming when you made the original post

[catgirlmimikyu]

freaks me out just a little that when you're inside a vagina you are surrounded by pelvic bone

[catgirlmimikyu]

sex isn't real. shrink down and join me in the submarine

[avvocarlo]

putt-putt saves the zoo you stupid son of a bitch

[byjove]

giving birth sucks tbh. not only do you and the baby you’re birthing almost die, usually you shit yourself and often you tear your taint. then you have to push an organ out of your body (placenta) and if even a little of that remains in your body, you can hemorrhage to death or develop an infection that essentially rots your body from the inside out. even if you had a relatively “easy birth”, you bleed for weeks on end. even after that stops, your body and brain is changed for the rest of your life, the pregnancy leeched minerals from your bones, that can cause osteoporosis later. minor urinary incontinence is not uncommon, brain scans of people who gave birth show permanent changes in their brain, you’re never quite the same.

I say all of this not to say giving birth is disgusting but it is a harrowing and visceral experience. society downplays how fucking awful it is and makes it out to be a ~magical~ experience but it isn’t a magical transformative experience for everyone. it can be an extremely traumatic experience for someone who wanted to carry a pregnancy to term, much more so for someone who did not want to be pregnant in the first place or someone who knows their baby won’t survive the birth. anyway, abortion is a right. pregnancy and birth aren’t just inconvenient, it’s fucking awful.

[churropussy]

How is it that in this entire post you didn’t say the word “woman” once? Only one sex gives birth. Only women have these experiences, only women are at risk for everything mentioned here, women are the only people this applies to. Erasing the word enables the problem.

[byjove]

I’m an evil trans man with a big fat pussy and it’s my life’s purpose to erase women by using inclusive language. Everyone I make a post a random woman disappears off the planet. Clean vanishes. They’re renaming all maternity wards labor & delivery wards because of me. The word breastfeeding no longer exists in the dictionary. It’s all chestfeeding now. Many world powers are trying to stop me. They can’t. They’re too slow. I’m always two steps ahead.

[cursedblush]

firefly wedding - chapter 18