(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

[heedra]

well...you'd better watch out for my venomous tooth

[heedra]

all ill say on the matter

[sandmandaddy69]

[iamaine]

repeating this to myself as a list of daily affirmations

[worldmovingslow]

husband: I'm so glad we finally have our own place! You did such a great job decorating it, honey

fujo wife: Really? You don't think it's kind of...chintzy?

[soppingwetratboy]

Being told what to do is great because then you know what to do

[utopians]

Glassblowers and hat makers are so funny bc they're so obviously insanely skilled in these difficult crafts and 9 times out of 10 they're using that skill to make the tackiest shit you've ever seen

[ceruleanheaven]

religion is so fucking funny the world is just too beautiful there must be a higher entity behind all this. lets oppress women

[adriles]

if you remove the glorious armor from patroclus’ corpse youre a nasty son of a bitch & youre basically asking me to drive the bronze blade of my spear through your neck

[machine-unlearning]

god I'm such a slut for Chinese eggplant in garlic sauce *decides it’s inaccurate to refer to myself as a slut in light of my minimal sexual activity* if The Enemy discovered my ardor for Chinese eggplant in garlic sauce, they would gain a significant strategic advantage

[doomtemparts]

one of my friends in a discord server was talking about how they were nervous about their first scheduled acupuncture appointment. another friend offered to do a tarot reading for them. sent this picture.

[cursedgreendayimages]

the next time someone asks what this country is like i’ll just send them this

[leona-florianova]

-  Velký noční hlídač / Watchman

- author of the videomaping Milan Cais 

-photography ©ČTK,  ©David Peltán, MAFRA.

[oceaxe-ifdawn]

how do we get them to stop doing that

[vampmilf]

they also blink and move btw in case anyone was wondering if it could get worse

[probuccalfat]

so it has

[probuccalfat]

i rehearse this like a monologue for an audition that’ll change my life

[the-demon-cat]

oh fuck the solarpunks just seedbombed a courthouse

[inlandwest]

[catgirltiefling]

The funniest part about Soul Eater will always be that there is a character in Soul Eater named Soul Eater Evans who Eats Souls and the show is not about him it's about his bestie

[tofu-rebecca]

[acorviart]

ceramic artist: ah some pieces cracked

every internet commentator raising their head like a bloodhound: oh my god. this is it. this is the chance I’ve been waiting for. I can show everyone how knowledgeable I am. I’m going to sound so smart. have you heard about this thing called kints—

[fangorn-forest]

her eyes were the sickly green of the sky before a tornado, and to his horror he discovered she could throw cows around just as easily

[that-house]

to his horror? weak shit. outta my way gayboy im boutta get it

[that-house]

all of our trobles seem so small from up here