Crookshallow

He/They Reader, writer, giant queer wreck

[crookshallowao3]

If you keep reading long enough you get everyone else's issues by osmosis

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

"it's not that deep" not yet but I've got a shovel and fan theories and digging makes great exercise!

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

"its's not that deep" it WASN'T but babe im delighted to report the Fandom has come together to mine a cavern system

[madphantom]

"I'm just a girl☺️🥰💖💞💅🌺🌷🦄" when you were eight and the teacher said she needed some strong boys to carry something you used to be furious, and when you convinced them to let you help, you carried twice as many chairs as the boys with the righteous anger of a girl who knew she was just as capable as them. Where did that go?

[crookshallowao3]

It crumbled when I carried twice as many

[stranglerfigpudding]

i don't care about monday's goals, tuesday wednesday dig some holes, thursday clean my mandibles, it's friday i'm a bug

[bexondeck]

of all of the bizarre things I’ve seen while working in skilled nursing the one that’s going to stick with me until I die is bug god

[bexondeck]

nothing can possibly prepare you for the moment you show up to give a man his apple juice and he says “Do you think bugs come from the same god as us? They’re older than our god. They have their own.”

[homunculus-argument]

Imagine that one day as you're walking on a hot sunny path, your hat jumps off your head and lands into a muddy ditch. And you look at your muddy hat and ask it: "What did you do that for?"

"I don't want to be a burden anymore", your hat answers. "You are always carrying me around, and I can't carry you. That's not fair."

"I don't mind carrying you, little idiot", you tell your hat, "you hardly weight anything at all, and you shelter me from the sun."

"But that's different", your hat protests. "I don't mind the sun scorching on me. That happens anyway. It's literally no trouble for me to shade you too."

"Just the same it's no trouble for me to carry you. But now, because you wanted to stop inconveniencing and bothering me, I am now hatless and you are in the dirt."

[isometropia]

[villainwithacrush]

[dominants-dominion]

[twinsfawn]

baby i could treat you so good you just have to get past my strange and off-putting demeanor and my kubrick stare and my inability to behave like a human and the 40 layers of icy fortress walls i have up and answer my riddles three

[fortunatelychaoticphantom]

I swear to fucking god. I would claw out OneDrive from my computer if I could. I would burn down their servers if I could. I would run down their stocks to the ground if I could. I hope every single one of their workers gets a better offer from a competitor in the next 24 hours. I hope every single one of their light bulbs explodes at the same time. I hope every single carton of milk in their fridge will always be expired.

Stop backing up my fucking files.

Stop asking me to back up my fucking files.

Stop taking my fucking files off my fucking computer.

I don't want a fucking reminder in three fucking days. Let me fucking say no.

Fuckers.

[prismatic-bell]

Friend, I have news you're gonna love. Here's a text tutorial to get rid of that shit on Windows 10.

Here's a text tutorial to get rid of that shit on Windows 11.

Here's a video tutorial to get rid of that shit on Windows 10.

Here's a video tutorial to get rid of that shit on Windows 11.

Go forth. Be free.

[ophilosoraptoro]

Reblog to save a life... and someone's sanity

[stroebe2]

[pragnificent]

This is Money Snake. She only appears every 312 years. 

If you reblog her picture within the next twenty-five seconds you will have good luck and fortune for the rest of your life. 

[thingsamylikes]

I reblogged her late last year and my 2024 has been very satisfying work-wise and (secure enough to not stress out) money-wise so far. Money Snake is wise and good.

[renmoss]

with my love as your garden, won't you fall for me?

[renmoss]

this fuckass flamingo haunting us more than sleep. but no I did not have him in my heart when I drew this.

[renmoss]

sighs. i am not immune to the bit. i'm gonna have to go full mingo aren't i.

[renmoss]

[eightyonekilograms]

afaik the only augmentative suffix in English is -zilla.

[king-of-men]

You are forgetting "2: Electric Boogaloo".

[argumate]

-apalooza, perhaps?

[king-of-men]

-ocalypse, -ocalyptic, -tastic.

[argumate]

fuckzilla, fuck 2: electric boogaloo, and fuckapalooza work, fucktastic definitely works, but fuckocalyptic doesn't sounds right 🤔

[jesin00]

-athon, for duration

[argumate]

training for a half fuckathon

[passionate-yelling]

Its actually -pocalypse, as in fuckpocalypse, but as an irregular augmentative you can shorten it in whatever way works best. I'm not sure fuckalypse hits as hard as fuckpocalypse, though

[argumate]

-itude, like "not with that fuckitude it won't"

[di--es---can-ic-ul-ar--es]

Fuckalyptic works great

[sargassostories]

Lest we forget -gate, e.g. “this post is a linguistic fuckergate.”

[cipheramnesia]

[neenarchive]

they're hiring me at the extra virgin olive oil factory as the oathsworn knight who protects the chastity of the olives

[crookshallowao3]

I just need a fic that feels like an Ethel Cain song. Why isn't that easier to find???