[qrowscant]

who else did this

[thermodynamiclawyer]

i used to do this as a kid because i was evil

[catgirlforeskin]

And then when the other kid runs you become artillery

[lykrynos]

can you fucking man up and play toys outside with me

[daughter-of-sapph0]

capitalism is a failure of a system and need to be completely abolished

>store says they're hiring

>50 people apply

>30 don't hear back from them

>19 get told they "don't meet the qualifications"

>one single person gets hired

>store gives them way to much work for one person

>new employee says that they need to hire more people

>"what are you talking about? we have enough people working in your department"

>but no you actually don't. you have one single person working at a time. I only work mornings, every single morning. other guy only works afternoons, every single afternoon. what happens when one of us is sick?

>also, what if I'm busy with something else like stocking, and a customer needs my help? what then? you're asking me to work five people's jobs at once. so either pay me five times my salary or hire four other people

>"no. you're fired"

mfw

>go to that store later to buy something

>no one is working at the department I worked at

>end up waiting 40 minutes to buy something

>don't blame the cashier. he was pulled away to do something else. it's the bosses fault for not hiring more people

>as I leave there are "we're hiring" signs plastered all over the door

what a fucking load of massive bull shit

[zazzydoesstuff]

It sounds like you worked at a money laundering scheme and not an actual business.

[daughter-of-sapph0]

yeah that's what target is.

[duckdotcom]

would you put a discarded fruit sticker on my forehead in whimsical jest yes or no

[whitepeopletwitter]

[crazycatsiren]

No no you don't understand! I want to watch this show/movie, read this book, listen to this podcast, etc.! But I must be in the right mindset and the exact head space to begin, or I just can't!

[somethingusefulfromflorida]

I'm not ALLOWED to enjoy it yet, I'm not ALLOWED!!!

[cryptotheism]

She let me hit it because I solved her riddles three

[bobakett]

When my hot wrestler wife leaves me

[bobakett]

Oh wrong post

[cryptotheism]

No stay in this space with me

[slimetony]

I need a beautiful woman to unplug my life support machine

[jackalopescruff]

I've been waiting for the moment since we made that goddamned sticks post it only feels right that it should be me

[strongermonster]

now that i’m older and understand how absolutely fucked the housing market is, all those horror movies that take place in nice houses where the family refuses to leave make sense. if i had a 4,000sqft vintage home you’d need to kill me before i ever moved out as well. fuck the ghost. charge it rent.

[youreverydaydaly]

[woppetry]

Gotta be constantly vigilant for this bad boy

[byjove]

Rocking chairs are proof autism and ADHD have always existed, there is no way a neurotypical person said “what if there was a special chair for rocking back and forth in”

[byjove]

stop mentioning babies on this post I don’t believe in them

[amuseoffyre]

Looks like fanfiction.net is gone. Probably should have backed up the fic I had there. Woops. Too late now.

[tartrazeen]

[amuseoffyre]

Okay, this is very weird. The green leafy thing is what I’m seeing but apparently there are multiple people who can still access the site? I’m very confused right now.

[ixwin]

Mobile site m.fanfiction.net still up for me but I’ve taken this opportunity to download the few fics I’d posted there

[rukafais]

If you put www in front of the url (www.fanfiction.net instead of fanfiction.net) it still works btw but I don’t think this means anything good

[cool-jpgs-of-wizards-with-swords]

if i tell yall what i did on the tram today yall would call it a fake tumblr story i think

[octal-alchemist]

oh?

[cool-jpgs-of-wizards-with-swords]

so it helps to know that my mindset at the time was influenced by having been transphobically sealioned at a temping agency earlier, as well as spontaneously turning up to a different temping agency without an appointment & actually landing with them after THOSE guys turned out to be cool.

I was on the tram (crowded tram) (just after 11 AM) on my way home full of adrenaline still, and saw my dad eating a banana on the platform. I could get out of the tram to say hi, but then i'd miss the tram, or worse, hold it up. What i COULD do, however, is sprint out of the tram as soon as the door opens, take a bite from the banana my dad is holding, and SPRINT back into the tram before the doors close. So That Is What I Did.

unfortunately now roughly half of the passengers of the tram were looking at me like I was suddenly some sort of feral spirit of hunger or perhaps a strange insect of some sort.* Fortunately, the truth was also the ONE sequence of words that could make what they had just witnessed okay. I went "das ist mein papa!!!" which is german for "thats my dad!!!!!"

My dad seemed genuinely delighted by this btw. the look on his face was fucking PRICELESS

[cool-jpgs-of-wizards-with-swords]

i would like to beat the little german boy accusations based on my behavior before they arise. i am in fact a tall german trans girl.

however in everything except body i AM calvin from calvin & hobbes

[carpenters3]

[the-itchy-bitchy-spider]

[catgirlforeskin]

wait THAT’S why my wife always says “son boy allowed” about our cat??

[gayvampyr]

happy 5 years to son boy allowed

[loransilverbeast]

the most annoying people are the ones who just reply "no 💖" to recovery/self-improvement posts

[loransilverbeast]

THE WET BOX

[loransilverbeast]

ill never forgive you guys for reblogging the version without the wet box addition now there's edgelords in my notes and nobody gets to hear about the wet box

[only-tiktoks]

[lakevida]

i thought you were 22? it says 23 in ur bio

you're never gonna believe what happened to me