Crying Circus Conductor

Ladies, gents and non-binary friends, Welcome to my circus! Make sure you know where to find the emergency exits... This tent tends to burn down...

[cryingcircusconductor]

PS. Love at first bite

Logan, leaning on Gwen's rickety porch fence in the middle of the night, staring at the shards of his former life. Not pictured, cigarette. Cat’s-eye view.

The stray lay still, hiding in plain sight, sizing up his enemy. The human hadn’t noticed him so far. He hadn’t for the past three nights. The stray flared his whiskers and stalked forward through the tall grass. This night was going to be different!

It was bad enough that the stray had suffered a legendary defeat to Lady, the blue eyed temptress, many moons ago, and had lost his territory to her during the daytime… The day she’d arrived no less. That cunning woman. She’d lured him into a sneak attack by turning her back to him, a feigned opening he’d foolishly charged right into. Then she’d turned around right when he was about to claim dominance, holding a big square something in her arms, forcing him to retreat immediately. Remembering the sheer size of the object still petrified him with almost cosmic horror! 

Every time he caught her eye, she’d beckon to him, mocking his defeat with a high, melodic battlecry. Sometimes, she tried to tempt him into another trap with meaty delights. He’d just sneer at her from a distance, not giving her the satisfaction of another victory against him. 

And now she’d brought Guy along… Guy had shamelessly taken over his porch too. At nighttime! Against the terms of the treaty! Guy was a fool, thinking he’d get away with it without Lady fighting beside him. The stray had defended his territory fiercely against the other warlords in the region, and he’d done so without any servants to fatten him for battle. The stray was the biggest, strongest, most feared cat in the neighbourhood! At least, he believed so… No… He’d proven it. Countless times. He’d even given his ear to do so, and tonight, he was willing give his other, if need be. 

The stray angrily swished his tail. He pulled back his ear as he stalked closer, front paws already on his porch. He felt his pupils dilate, taking in Guy’s every detail, analyzing him. 

So far, Guy had stuck to the same strategy. He’d thrown open the door, rushed out, grabbed the porch fence, and performed his human fire ritual. The first times, the stray had been too impressed by Guy’s abrasive techniques to dare to approach, but it had gotten predictable. By now, the stray had noticed that Guy didn’t have the same carefree arrogance about him as Lady. Guy was easily distressed, unbalanced, vulnerable. 

The stray unfolded his claws in anticipation, ready to rip into flesh, they dug into the old wood underneath him. He wiggled his hind legs to-!

Guy turned to him, amber eyes wide in surprise. 

The stray hit the floor, calculating every possible move. 

Well, not every possible move, it seemed. Guy slowly crouched down in front of him. The stray stuck out a hind paw, ready to take a step back. 

Guy reached out! Hand! Hands were bad! 

The stray hissed, loud and clear, freezing them both into a stalemate. 

After a while, Guy slowly lowered his hand, almost all the way to the floor. The stray eyed it carefully. What kind of attack was this? 

When Guy showed he wasn’t going to move again, the stray did. He slowly stuck out his neck, sniffing the hand, inspecting it for any hidden dangers. He couldn’t find any, other than the stink of the ritual… He looked up into Guy’s eyes. A hue of sadness shone through the warm amber. 

Ah. It finally dawned on him. Guy had just acknowledged the stray’s superiority! He’d submitted to him! The stray had to give it to him, Guy was smarter than he looked! 

The stray ran his cheek past the hand, to accept the offering. Woah! His hand was so warm! The stray ran his other cheek past, savouring the feeling. 

Guy added his other hand, tickling him on both cheeks, spreading the warmth everywhere.  

The stray felt something. A feeling he hadn’t felt since long, long ago. The warmth he’d felt in the shed, curled up against his mother and his littermates. A guttural rhythm flowed through his entire body.

Guy moved one hand over the stray’s head and back. It felt amazing! The stray felt his defenses slip.

Ah! Guy had been much smarter than he looked! This had all been a ploy! What a formidable foe! 

The stray grappled the offending hand with all his paws, biting down on it as hard as he could! 

Guy yelped, ripping his hand free. 

The stray rolled back to his feet, ready for another round. 

Guy didn’t seem as eager, rubbing his hand. He bared his teeth. “Crazy bitch…” he muttered. The awe in his tone struck the stray with surprise. 

‘Crazy bitch’... A title…? It was beautiful!

[cryingcircusconductor]

[PJO fanfic, based on Strife] Bad apple of my eye

All warnings are spoilers: Mentions of abuse. Negative feelings. Nothing to do with canon. Probably not even my own canon.

-------------

Nico’s wine almost jumped out of his glass when the door slammed. Logan had always had a tendency to throw the door shut carelessly, but this was ridiculous! 

Nico smacked the glass down on the table and shoved himself to his feet, glare ready before he even found Logan. He threw up an angry hand. “What the fuck do you think-?!”. 

He froze, slowly shutting his mouth. 

Logan’s hand was still on the doorhandle. Knuckles white. Eyes fixed on the floor in front of him. The raging amber fire burned even brighter in contrast to the darkness all around them. 

Nico jerked his hand back down. “What’s wrong?!” he asked, his worry spilling over into urgency.

Logan kept his eyes fixed on the floor. He opened his mouth, teeth clenched, drew a sharp breath, then gave his head a firm shake. The hand around the doorhandle tightened its grip, making it rattle. 

Nico took a few careful steps towards him. He reached out, putting his hand over Logan’s to steady it. The rattling stopped. 

“What happened?” Nico tried again, softer. 

Logan’s eyes flashed over to him, then back to the floor. He took another breath. “Colleague got fired. For hitting three kids”. His voice trembled with barely restrained rage. 

Oh… 

Nico felt the grip under his own tighten back up, full force.  

“Kids from special ed. One of them is fucking nonverbal!” Logan growled. “Another kid filmed it. Otherwise we would’ve never even known! We have no idea how long this has been-!”. His voice cracked. The fire flickered with a shaky gasp. 

Nico lifted Logan’s hand off the doorhandle, locking their fingers together. He squeezed. “Wow… That’s… Yeah…”. He tried to find words with a bit more meaning. There weren’t any. “Who was it…?” he asked instead.

“Dean” Logan almost whispered. The flames died down. 

Nico blinked. He’d heard that name before. Something about it… “Wait” he realized. “The guy who followed you around for a week for his internship? The nerdy kid you were worried would get eaten alive…?”.

“Yeah” Logan replied breathlessly. He shook his head again, eyes landing back on the floor. “Always the ones you least expect… But, I probably ‘unexpected’ him the most”. He reignited, gripping Nico’s hand, almost painfully hard. “I feel like a fucking idiot!”. 

Through all the rage, a tear slipped down. Logan pulled his hand free to wipe at it. As soon as he did, another one fell. “I just don’t get how this happened!… I know trying to help these kids can drive you fucking nuts. Especially the ones that need it the most! But we all knew that going into this! That’s part of the job! That’s the fucking point of the job! That’s why we-!”. 

He stopped. Anger mixed with confusion. “I thought that’s why we…!”. His eyes darted around the room, seemingly looking for answers. His shoulder jerked, he choked on a breath. 

Nico put a hand on his cheek, tilting his face towards him. “Keep breathing” he urged.

Logan’s eyes found his. He took a sharp breath, not even bothering to keep in the tears anymore. “Getting hit by the kids is one thing… This… This hurts way worse”. The bright orange lost its spark, completely dim. 

The first sob was quiet. The second wasn’t.

 Nico swallowed hard. He slowly slipped a hand over Logan’s back, up to his neck. He gently pulled him closer. Logan didn’t put up a fight. Nico barely had to push to guide Logan’s face into his shoulder. 

Logan unclenched his fists, letting his arms fall at his sides. He forced his breath in a steady, laboured rhythm. 

Nico held on tight, listening intently, trying to absorb everything.

Logan stirred. His tone was quiet, almost just another breath. “I thought I loved my job…”.

[cryingcircusconductor]

Wrokstukken

Gedeelde Smart

Iedereen verloren.

Jij, wij, maar vooral zij. 

We blijven maar vragen waarom.

Woede?

Verdriet? 

Onbegrip? 

Je hebt het niet weggegeven, alleen maar verspreid. 

-

Gebroken Spiegel

Toen je eindelijk liet zien wie je was,

Konden wij niet meer door je heen kijken.

Nu ik mezelf niet meer in jou herken,

Herken ik mezelf helemaal niet meer. 

-

Plastic Rouwboeket

Oude herinneringen worden bezocht als een kerkhof.

Waarheden worden gerouwd samen met de leugens.

Beiden worden begraven in een ongemarkeerd graf. 

-

Kwaad Bloed

Woede is luider dan pijn.

Ik wou dat ik boos kon blijven.

Uit deze wond stromen alleen tranen.

-

Nieuw Perspectief

Mijn bril ging stuk, 

En alles zag er anders uit. 

Ik zet hem af, 

En nu zie ik niets meer. 

-

Alleen As

Toen het vroor in mij, 

Hield de vlam mij warm.

Toen het regende in mij, 

Is de vlam gedoofd.

Nu het donker is in mij, 

Breekt mijn laatste lucifer.

-

Blijf Doorlopen

Ik loop de bekende weg, en verveel me. 

Ik blijf doorlopen. 

Ik loop van het pad af, en raak de weg kwijt. 

Ik blijf doorlopen.

Ik loop naar het einde van de wereld, en kijk over de rand.

Ik blijf doorlopen. 

[cryingcircusconductor]

Get Shrekt (Shrek x Pope Boniface VIII)

I've been having trouble writing the past few weeks and my husband gave me the advice "Just write the worst thing you can think of". So, that's what I did...

For anyone else in a slump or feeling insecure about their writing, I hope this lowers the bar for you :')

Link (warning: explicit, incredibly stupid): Get Shrekt - CryingCircusConductor - Shrek (Movies), Christianity - Fandom [Archive of Our Own]

I'm sorry everyone.

[cryingcircusconductor]

[PJO fanfic] Lucky number six

Nico was forced to ponder one of life’s greatest mysteries before being allowed to fully wake up. How can something as teeny tiny as cat feet weigh ten tonnes when they step on your throat? Nico opened his eyes to see Butch look down on him. 

Butch smacked his furry lips, explaining the reason behind the pressing paws. As soon as Nico even prepared to move, Butch galloped off into the hallway, towards his bowl. Nico looked over at Logan at his side, still sound asleep. 

Nico pursed his lips in envy, then smiled instead.  

By all accounts, this was a completely unremarkable Sunday morning. The type of Sunday morning he’d slowly gotten used to. Like many times before, he checked the time on his cellphone. Something else on the screen caught his attention. Three messages from Hazel. Well, there had been three. Attempts, Nico reckoned, seeing the two deleted messages. He sat up to look at the block of text underneath them. 

He read it. 

He read it again. 

He threw his legs over the edge of the bed and stared at the floor, focussing on his breathing. 

He hadn’t registered Logan move behind him until he wrapped his arms around Nico's waist and squeezed him. 

“Panic attack’s early today” he mumbled next to Nico’s ear, voice still noticeably groggy. His matter-of-fact tone made it sound like he was talking about the weather, simultaneously annoying the crap out of Nico, and helping him ground himself a bit. 

Nico straightened up a bit, leaning into him. “Yeah” he exhaled. “Hazel messaged me. Today’s been ten years since the Prophecy of… Since they defeated Gaea. They’re going to commemorate at Temple Hill. Jason’s memorial…”. He took a deep breath. “I’m invited…”.

Logan didn’t respond immediately, slowly rocking him from side to side. “That the guy you fought Eros with? The one you came out to?” he asked quietly. 

Nico felt the memories wash over him. “Yeah…” . He felt his voice tremble before the wave of emotions fully ebbed away.

Logan nudged his temple. “The really ‘handsome’ one you swear you didn't have any complicated feelings for…?”. 

Nico could feel Logan's grin against his ear. He clicked his tongue and smacked Logan against the forehead with his knuckles. Not hard. Not too soft either. 

Logan didn’t budge, resting his chin on Nico’s shoulder. “Want me to come with…?”.

Nico swallowed. Was he even going to go…? “Yeah… Thanks…”. 

Old memories fought each other for his attention while he got ready. Well, pretended to get ready. The steady build of the nerves made it clear there was no use in trying, he’d never be prepared for this. He hadn’t stopped thinking about his friends over the years. Not even for a single day. In an ironic twist, the more he’d missed them, the more painful the idea of seeing them again had become. He wondered if they’d even want to-!

“Dresscode?” Logan asked, once again breaking Nico’s spiral with his unbeatable practicality. 

Nico blinked at him. He almost shook his head, then stopped himself. “No bloodstains” he replied. 

Logan paused his rummaging through his drawer. He hummed in mild disapproval, then continued his search. 

Nico watched on as his favourite pair of boxershorts disappeared behind the zipper of Logan's least ripped cargo pants. He opened his mouth to protest, then gave up and put on Logan's favourite black shirt. 

-

After they had breakfast, Butch had breakfast, the dead plants had been watered, and Nico couldn’t possibly think of any more excuses to stall, Logan held out his hand. 

“We’re already late” he urged gently when Nico just stared at it. 

Nico sucked in a breath, blew out a curse, and grabbed it. 

The shadows closed in on them from all directions. 

The darkness blew off of them with a gentle summer breeze, flowing out over the tall grass surrounding the many heavy, stone structures on Temple Hill. Nico felt the dread build one step at a time as he slowly dragged his eyes up the stairs, all the way up to the temple of Jupiter Optimus Maximus. Even partially hidden behind the imposing, rigid pillars, Nico could feel Jupiter’s statue strike him down with an even more imposing, rigid stare. 

Logan cocked his head, looking up at the many temples and shrines ahead of them. “So, this is the house of the Romans, huh?”. 

“Yep” Nico replied breathlessly. 

“Fancy bitches…” Logan muttered. By the sound of it equally disgusted and impressed. He ruffled Nico’s hair. “No wonder you snuck around here so much!”.

Nico groaned, quickly trying to undo the damage with both hands. He grabbed Logan’s elbow and dragged him up the steps without another word. 

He made mental note of all the love and labour that had clearly gone into the sculptures and architecture, no matter how small or minor the deity. Even years later, they had been preserved in perfect condition.

Jason would have been proud. 

Nico felt his heart pound in his ears when he made out a figure at the top of the stairs. Not just one. Two. Three. Four. Five… Six, he counted as he took the final step. 

Frank was the first to notice them. 

Poor Frank. 

Frank glanced around. Then glanced around again, eyes wide. His mouth fell open. He quickly shut it again, smiling far too wide. He kept his poorly disguised horror locked onto them as he grasped around himself, finally finding Hazel’s sleeve and giving it a few quick, hard tugs. 

Hazel yelped, almost getting tugged right down to the ground. Four other familiar backs spun around in surprise.

Frank caught Hazel mid air, carefully lifting her back on her feet. “Sorry, honey! It’s, uh!”. He glanced back at Nico and Logan. “They-!”. He stopped himself, opting for another, even wider horrified smile. 

Hazel adjusted her aviator jacket, Nico’s old aviator jacket, and followed Frank’s gaze. So did the rest of them. 

Hazel, Frank, Leo, Piper, Annabeth, and Percy, all froze in unison.

Nico resisted the urge to pull the shadows over himself. “Hi”  he forced out instead. He stuck up a hand in an awkward greeting. “I, uh. I thought you knew I was…”. His eyes landed on Hazel. 

Hazel’s eyes grew three sizes. “I… Yes! Sorry… I know you said you were, but I wasn’t sure if-!”. 

‘You were actually going to show up’, Nico’s mind finished for her. He smiled at her and held up his hands in a peace offering, willing her to stop. 

Hazel was around his waist before he got the chance to tell her it was alright. She buried her face in his chest. “I’m so glad you made it!” she muffled into him. He could already feel the damp seep through the fabric of his shirt. 

“Yeah, me too…” Nico replied softly, wrapping his arms around her. 

Hazel pulled herself loose before the others had a chance to react. She took a firm position between Nico and the rest. “I told him to come” she said, voice powerful and unwavering. 

Nico sucked in his lips, remembering the impressive amounts of ‘maybe’, ‘if you want to’ and ‘no pressure’ she had managed to cram into her message. ‘Told him’ was really pushing it. 

“Jason would have wanted him here” she added, more quiet, somehow even more impactful.

The group held a single collective breath at the mention of his name.  

Leo grinned and stuck up a thumb. Annabeth and Piper smiled, then nodded. Percy drew his lips in a straight line, not a single reaction. All four of them looked over at Logan. 

Right! Nico gestured at him. “This is Logan, uh… My…”. 

Logan pulled their shoulders together and smirked. “His rock” he declared heavily. 

Nico turned to glare at him. 

Logan raised an eyebrow. “Hero?” he suggested instead. 

Nico shoved him away. “Boyfriend, unfortunately”.  

The tension in the group seemed to dissipate with a quiet chuckle. 

Frank’s shoulders relaxed, deflating like he’d been holding his breath for years. 

Leo leapt forward, arms wide. He stabbed Nico in the chest with every single tool in his overalls as he forced him into an embrace. “Got you now, di Angelo! You can’t deny me this after disappearing for ten years!” he teased.

“I wasn’t the one who faked my own death, Valdez…” Nico jabbed back, giving in to the hug anyway.  

“Ha!” Leo laughed awkwardly. “Yeeaah…” he drew out as he pulled back. "I did actually die though..." he added in a mumble. He gave Logan a good look over. “Hey! Weren’t you the guy who set fire to Jerry’s bed?!” he asked, pointing at him excitedly. 

“Yeah!” Logan replied, pointing back just as excitedly

Nico stared at Logan, surprise quickly turning to judgement.

Logan shoved his hands in his pockets in a defensive gesture. “Not while he was in it”. 

Nico closed his eyes, hoping in vain it would shut his ears too and spare him whatever bullshit was sure to follow. 

“Besides, it was self defense” Logan added with a barely audible mutter.

“How!?” Nico shouted, eyes and ears wide open. 

Logan opened his mouth. 

“Stop. No”. Nico stuck his hand up between them. “I don't even want to know”. 

Piper gently put her hands on Leo’s shoulders and moved him aside. She gave Nico questioning look, slowly raising her arms. Nico smiled, raising his too. They gave each other a few awkward pats on the back. 

“Oh” Nico reminded himself, when he caught Logan’s grin. He gestured at her. “This is-”.

“Piper” Logan finished flatly.

“We've met” Piper concurred just as flatly.

Nico went over all possible implications of the word ‘met’ when Annabeth ambushed him. 

“You look good” she said with a tone that still somehow reminded him to eat more. 

“Thanks, Annabeth. You t-!”. Her surprisingly strong arms around his neck squeezed all other words out of him. 

She quickly pushed him back at arms length, staring into his eyes with a stern, almost angry expression. “We’ve been so worried about you”. Her tone was somewhere halfway between fondness and scolding. Before Nico had time to defend himself, she pulled Percy closer by his elbow. 

Nico swallowed back every emotion he’d ever felt as two familiar sea green eyes looked right through him, still impossible to read. 

Percy scowled. “I know you” he said, exactly the way he’d done years before. 

Fuck…!

Percy winked when Nico froze, finally offering him a smirk. A genuine one.

Nico glanced over in time to see Logan’s eyes dart from Percy, to him, raising a questioning eyebrow. Nico sucked in his lips, not even daring to give Percy a pleading look.

Percy immediately made clear he wouldn’t have had mercy either way. “He pretended not to know me when I had amnesia” he explained bluntly, pointing at Nico with a dismissive thumb. 

Crap!

Logan gave Nico a deeply offended look. “Really…?” he huffed. “You are meaner to him than you are to me!”. The hurt in his tone was as sincere as it was misplaced.  

They stared each other down. Longer than they should have. 

Nico sighed, put his finger in his mouth and stuck it in Logan's ear. 

Logan winced, then slowly shook his head. “Too little, too late…”. 

“Gods fucking-!” Nico pinched the bridge of his nose. “You sick freak! I never should have brought you here!”. He shoved an angry hand in Logan’s face. 

Logan grabbed it and kissed it. “There you go! You've still got it” he murmured lovingly. He flashed Percy a triumphant smirk. 

Nico ripped their hands down, just hard enough to allow Logan to keep holding on.

Percy raised his eyebrows at them and opened his mouth, undoubtedly about to make everything even worse. At the last possible moment, he seemingly decided against it, just nodding in quiet understanding. “It’s been a while…” he finally said, tone almost as hard to read as his expression. 

Nico looked at his feet. “Yeah… I, uh… Sorry about that” he muttered. When he finally dared to look back up, Percy’s expression softened just a bit. 

“It’s good to see you” Percy concluded. His smile reached all the way to his eyes. His smile widened. Nico knew that smile. The one that meant trouble. “So…” Percy started innocently. “We’re so scary that you had to bring a human shield?” he jabbed, gesturing at Logan.

“You brought your wife” Annabeth countered sharply, not even giving Nico the chance to blush. 

Nico perked up. “You guys got married?” he asked in mild disbelief. “Congratulations!”. His sincerity caught himself off guard. Not just himself. 

Annabeth blinked a few times, a smile slowly spreading on her lips. “Thank you!”. 

Percy almost knocked her aside in his excitement, phone already in hand. “We’ve got a daughter too! Look!”. 

Nico didn’t even bother hiding his smile as Percy proudly presented his daughter’s entire life history so far. 

-

Piper carefully placed Jason’s picture right in the middle of the exedra. The curve in the large stone bench perfectly assisted him in watching over them. Piper’s hand trembled as she poured a libation over the rock in front of him. 

They raised a glass in a quiet toast.

Well, everyone except Leo had opted for quiet. “Here’s to you, Sparky!” he declared emotionally. He picked up a grape and tossed it, hitting Jason’s forehead dead centre. Leo chuckled to himself, ignoring all the glares.

Percy raised a single finger, splashing Leo’s wine in his face. It didn’t manage to wash away his grin. 

Leo wiped the wine out of his eyes. “Still get to annoy you…” he muttered with audible pride. He wiped his face again. And again. 

Piper wrapped her arm around him.

Hazel and Frank had gone all out preparing a traditional memorial feast. Apart from the standard grapes, eggs and bread, they had brought a luxurious selection of meats and cheeses. An offering fit for an emperor, Nico reckoned. 

Hazel carefully uncovered an especially deep earthenware dish. 

Nico should have guessed even before the lid came off, Pisa in sepia… Fava beans in cuttlefish ink and sweet wine, a traditional dish used to cast out malevolent spirits. Very Roman. Very Hazel.  

Nico mentally prepared himself when Logan narrowed his eyes at Jason’s picture. He mentally prepared even harder when Logan grinned, wide and wicked. 

“So…” Logan started, deceptively quiet. “You have a type, huh? Blondes?”.

Nico was about to tell him off when Percy’s finger shot out at him, right in his face. 

“So that’s it!” Percy whispered loudly.

“No!” Nico yelled. He stuck up two angry hands in both directions, fending both idiots off. He sighed as deeply as he could. He locked eyes with Jason, smiling brightly. Nico smiled back.   

[cryingcircusconductor]

Brief aan mijn kwetsbare kind

Dag maatje,

Fijn je te ontmoeten. Of tenminste, we kennen elkaar natuurlijk al een beetje, maar alleen in het voorbijgaan. Ik wou dat ik je eerder had mogen leren kennen. Ik denk dat we veel aan elkaar gehad hadden kunnen hebben vroeger. Mama heeft jou al vroeg weggejaagd, en het heeft heel lang geduurd voordat ik je verstop plek heb gevonden. Zelfs nu ik weet waar je zit, vind ik het moeilijk om je te zien. Ik herken je nog niet zo goed. Maar ik word er langzaamaan steeds ietsje beter in. Ik weet dat ik dat niet altijd heb gedaan, maar ik beloof je dat ik van je hou en dat ik mijn uiterste best blijf doen om erachter te komen wat je nodig hebt. Om een veilige plek voor jou te maken. Zodat je je straks niet meer hoeft te verstoppen. In ieder geval niet meer voor mij. Ik wil iemand zijn voor wie jij niet bang hoeft te zijn. Ik heb nog een lange weg te gaan, maar ik hoop dat je die samen met mij wilt bewandelen.

Veel liefs, [x]

[cryingcircusconductor]

Need this for an author's note

[cryingcircusconductor]

[PJO] Strife: CCC. Curveball to the face

All warnings are spoilers: Mild plot twist (don’t literally wanna give it away in the warning)

-------

After their traditional chaotic early morning routine, they finally settled into their traditional peaceful late morning routine. By far one of Nico’s favourite parts of the week. A rare moment of peace and quiet during the waking hours in their crazy little household, usually only allowed on the weekends. 

He loved the insanity just as much, but that was exactly why it was such a nice change of pace. The contrast helped him remember exactly how much he loved his usual life before he got too used to it, and dared to stop realizing how lucky he was.

The sun was well on its way across the view outside the window. The shadows of the trees and neighbouring buildings turned away from it, equally slowly. Nico watched them carefully, intent not to miss a single move invisible to the naked eye. 

Logan’s hand laid against his. The oldest of the habits. The slow rhythm of the tap of his finger was more tangible than audible, bringing another dimension to the shift of the warm sunlight and cool shadows in relaying the passage of time.

Nico took a sip of coffee, in full silence, savouring every bit of it. 

The doorbell rang, breaking its usual habit of not doing that. Just like that, the rare peace got disturbed. 

Butch stretched his old bones and hobbled over to the door before either of them moved, both still staring at the source of the intrusion in surprise, then at each other.

Logan stuck up a hand, a gesture to leave it to him, as he swiftly got up. Nico leaned onto his elbows to take in the new view. 

He watched Logan open the door the same way he always did, casually if just a little bit hastily. He gripped onto his elbows tightly when Logan visibly froze at the sight of whatever was hidden right out of Nico’s, on the other side of the doorway. 

Neither Logan or the mystery guest made a sound, leaving no clue as to who it may be. The only hint being that it was someone he’d clearly not expected to see. Logan’s knuckles whitened around the doorhandle. Eyes wide. Skin pale. He looked like he'd seen a ghost. Except… He hadn't even looked close to that when he'd actually seen a ghost. 

Butch, however, wasn’t bothered in the slightest. He murmured an airy little rasp and walked out the door, welcoming the guest warmly.

Nico regained his composure and jumped up, almost knocking his chair over. Pushing through the nerves, he quickly made his way over. 

Logan didn’t react when he grabbed his arm. Pushing through even more nerves, Nico quickly tore his eyes off of him to look through the doorway. Right at an equally shocked looking young girl. 

She didn’t even seem to register him, eyes still fixed on Logan’s. Intense amber eyes. Her messy, dark blonde hair would have reached her shoulders if it didn’t stick out in every direction instead. She couldn’t be older than fifteen.

No way…!

Her hands shook. All of her shook. Even the bronze Xiphos hanging from her hip and the large backpack over her shoulder.

Butch bit into the ankle of her big black boot, with all the teeth and ferocity he had left. 

Nico tightened his grip on Logan’s arm. 

Logan let his hand fall off the doorhandle. “Who…?” he started weakly. “You… Look just like my mother” he finished in disbelief.

THE END

-------

Thank you for reading, one last time :)

[cryingcircusconductor]

[PJO] Strife: XXX. Happy ending

All warnings are spoilers: Dead mouse (some description), dried blood, blood, mild injury (Between * *) explicit (?) sex scene: walks the line between explicit and implicit, BDSM themes if you squint.

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Nico gave the thick metal fence between him and the bank of the Great Salt Lake an impatient kick. For some inexplicable reason, Logan had told him to go here, instead of his apartment. He’d gotten the message he was on his way just a second ago. It was a twenty minute drive. That meant he had about ten minutes till Logan would be here.

He leaned onto the fence, staring out over the small inland sea. The deep turquoise water reflected the setting sun like a mirror. Stunning, obviously, but right now it only served as a reminder of what he actually came to see… 

Nico lifted his chin off of his arms. He pulled out his phone, then looked to his right. Still no sign of him. He opened his messages and fumbled around for a bit until he reached it. He opened the last photo Logan had sent him. 

He took in all the details, refreshing them in his memory. A cake that was practically all candles overlit the photo like a small bonfire, Logan holding Nico in a headlock behind it to prevent him from running off, smiling almost as bright as the candles, Nico desperately hiding his face behind the back of his hand and the side of Gwen’s face, only barely showing off her signature mischievous smile, taking up an entire half of the frame. No matter how you looked at it, it was a pretty terrible photo. He smiled at it. 

“That's one of my favourites too” Logan said over his left shoulder. 

Nico jolted. 

They stared at where his phone had just disappeared into the water. 

“My bad… I’ll get you a new one” Logan offered quietly.

Nico sucked in his lips and turned around, leaning against the fence with his lower back. The fire on his cheeks almost fully died down. “So, why’d you tell me to come here?” he sighed.  

Logan cocked his head, giving the lake an apprehensive side-eye. “What? You don’t think it’s romantic…?” he asked with a careful grin. 

Nico felt a little bad. “Yeah”. Still… “I mean, if the lake hadn’t just mugged me…” he joked. 

Logan pursed his lips. “Yeah, okay… That’s fair”. His eyes lit up as his grin turned devious. He moved closer, gripping the fence at Nico’s sides and leaning in. 

Nico didn’t back down, grinning right back. There it was, the view he’d been waiting for. He ran his fingers over Logan’s as their lips met, running his thumb over his when they met again, and again. Eventually, all of the Salt Lake was forgiven. 

  Logan pulled back, clearly pleased with himself. The fire in his eyes dimmed into a pensive look. He opened his mouth, glancing down at the water. He snapped it back shut. 

“What?” Nico asked.

Logan’s eyes locked back onto his, warming back up instantly. He shook his head. “Let’s go home. It’s getting late”. 

-

In the span of a little over a year, Logan’s apartment had acquired a strong industrial taste. It was moody. Lots of dark metal, wood tones and leather. Well… More than any of that, it was a huge mess. Fitting… 

Nico picked up a random T-shirt from the chaos on the old, beaten up leather couch. The Misfits logo grinned at them as he held it up. “See you added your own personal touch to my hard work since I've been gone a full four days…”. 

Logan grinned. “I'm trying to go for a homey, ‘lived in’ vibe”. 

Nico cast the T-shirt back into the chaos on the couch. Alright. He could do whatever he wanted. It was all his, after all. “Good for you. Look at you go, a real adult” he said with some pride. 

“Yep, and all it cost me was both my parents” Logan replied flatly. 

Nico almost gasped. He took a stranglehold on the back of Logan's neck. “Stop joking about that! It's fucked up!”. 

Logan snickered. “That's exactly how my therapist used to sound”. 

Nico let go of his neck. “So, start paying me. I'm not going to keep trying to fix you for free”. 

Logan nudged him in the side. “I already pay for everything. You hobosexual”. 

Ouch. Nico threw his head back, closed his eyes and drew a sharp breath. Guilt and annoyance fought each other. He tried not to die pulling them apart. “I’m working on that” he said weakly. 

“Right…!” Logan remembered. “How is your ghost hunting business doing?” he asked, a little too amused. 

Nico grinned to himself. This time he’d actually got some good news. “Pretty good actually. Just done with my first job. You’ll stop making fun of it once you see how much I got paid” he retorted. “Besides, I’m probably one of the only legit ones out there. So I’m not going to let you shame me”. 

Logan raised an eyebrow. “Wait… There was an actual haunting?” he asked. 

Crap… His first cliënt had been an obviously very wealthy, and even more obviously very lonely lady. She had been nice enough, and kinda crazy... But, she’d been so relieved when he’d ‘exorcised’ her house… And he had given her some genuine advice on how to keep spirits out. Like turning off the tv before going to bed and, most importantly, turning off the gas stove when you’re not using it… Honestly he hadn’t really wanted to take her money, but she wouldn’t take no for an answer and she had gotten very intense about it. 

Nico felt the corner of his mouth twitch. He shifted to dodge the truth. “They do exist. You know that. You’ve seen them…”. His embarrassed glare was met with a warm, proud look. He melted a little. “I’ll pay you back” he vowed quietly. 

Logan closed his eyes and huffed in annoyance. “Stop saying that. I told you I don’t want you to!”. 

No, but I want to, you noble idiot… He was about to resurrect the by now age old discussion when he got nudged in the leg. Crazy Butch circled him, rasping impatiently. He stuck his claws in his pants and immediately got stuck. Someone save me from these idiots… 

Nico bent over trying not to get swiped as he attempted to free Butch from the trap of his own making. He failed with flying colours, not only getting scratched, but getting another claw stuck in his pants while doing so. He jolted as Logan pinched him. 

“You barely eat, what are you packing back there?”. Logan almost sounded annoyed. 

“My childhood trauma” Nico replied dryly, earning a chuckle. “Don't distract people when they're defusing bombs” he added more sternly. 

Logan picked Butch up, freeing both of them. He kissed Butch on the forehead. Great, now the idiots are teaming up... Only Logan would be crazy enough to casually put his face that close to a freaked out, feral cat… 

Butch gave Nico some stink eye, apparently getting a boost in his confidence from his superior position In Logan's arms. Still, he wasn't about to feud with a cat. Especially not a crazy one. He was above that… No, he wasn’t. He booped Butch's nose. Butch scrambled to scratch him, almost instantly falling to the ground. Nico smirked to himself. 

“So…”. Logan smiled provocatively. “Tell me about your first day at group therapy. That middle finger you sent looked promising”. He was not even remotely trying to hide his amusement. 

Nico clenched his teeth and groaned as he remembered yesterday. It had been so fucking intense. “Well, I hate it. But it's kinda hilarious actually” he laughed. “We had to sit on a chair and channel our ‘inner critic’. After I was done bullying myself the guy next to me got all pissed off. He asked me to get up, and he beat up the chair”. 

Logan grinned. “That's actually really cute though”. 

Nico shot him an amused look. “I guess, in an unhinged way. It sure got me to stop crying right away… Everyone there is insane!”. 

Logan grinned wider “Sounds like you fit in just fine”. 

Nico snorted. “Oh yeah, I'm probably the craziest one there…”. 

Logan shifted a little and gave him an adoring look. “I’m so proud of you” he mused, clearly trying to hold back his excitement. 

Nico pursed his lips and side-eyed him. “Alright… Do your worst, tough guy”. 

Logan moved quick. He grabbed him by the upper legs and lifted him up, attacking his neck with his mouth. 

Nico grabbed onto his shoulders and braced himself, trying not to laugh. He started pushing when he felt Logan go in for a hickey. “Enough! Enough!” he begged. 

Logan let up, but didn’t let go. Rocking side to side just a little bit. Nico put his arms around his neck. Group therapy was going to straight up suck, for a long time, but guess he was kinda proud of himself too. 

-

After doing the dishes, Logan had gone right ahead sharpening his sword in the kitchen sink. He was frowning at it like it had disappointed him deeply somehow… 

Nico pursed his lips. Logan got like that sometimes when he was thinking particularly long and hard about something. That barely ever happened. Logan couldn't keep a thought to himself to save his life. Even when he did keep a secret, he'd gloat about it…

Nico snuck up behind him. He snaked his hands around him and kissed his neck. Logan jolted a little, but instantly pressed himself into his embrace. 

Good. 

He turned to grin at Nico. His eyes lit up instantly in a warm glow. No hint of worry left. 

Very good. 

“To what do I owe that?" Logan asked carefully. 

Nico grinned back. Couldn't hurt to pry a little. He wasn't gonna be too nice about it, though. Had to keep it lighthearted. “So, I like the way you look when your brain tries to fry itself. It's cute. But, I thought I better stop you, before you hurt yourself”.

Logan hummed in annoyed amusement. “Are you sure you want to be that mean to me right now? I'm armed”. He held up his sword a little. 

Nico pursed his lips. Before he got the chance to try again, Logan turned back around, immediately lost in thought. 

“You’re off in space…” Nico complained.

Logan huffed in disagreement. 

“Alright. What did I just say to you?” Nico asked, goading him. 

Logan gave him a puzzled look, then looked down. He tapped the sink a few times. “Something stupid?” he offered weakly. 

“Nice try, but you can't use my own trick on me” Nico huffed. “I didn't say anything” he added with a smug grin. 

Logan looked annoyed. “That's not fair” he grumbled. 

“Sure it is. You would have known if you'd paid attention. So what's on your mind?” Nico asked. 

Logan gave him a funny look. He opened his mouth, then closed it again, pressing a kiss on the scar on Nico’s forehead. With another warm look, and shake of his head, he turned back to his sword. “You get ready for bed, okay? I’ll be right over”.

Nico clicked his tongue. This was starting to get him worried. 

-

Somewhere far off, his aimless trail of incoherent thoughts got interrupted by a rare moment of clarity. Well… as clear as was possible right now. Logan? That seemed right somehow… The name felt like a warm caress on his cheek. No? A feather light kiss? Either way, he smiled to himself and settled into the feeling. The aimless trail of thoughts sprawled out before him again, a lot less lonely this time. He didn't have to go far. 

Half of him woke up to the sound of the front door closing. 

Oof! The other half of him woke up as Butch suddenly jumped up on his chest and sat down like he owned it. 

They stared each other down for a few seconds. The mild annoyance made Nico extra determined not to lose their usual staring contest. His furry opponent expertly broke him with a swift little Butch slap in the face. 

Butch ran off towards the kitchen triumphantically. He loudly grated a wail, pleading for his prize. 

Yep. Alright. He’d earned it. 

Nico dragged himself out of bed and into a pair of pants. He followed the familiar sound of a bowl scraping against the floor tiles and caught the usual suspect red pawed. 

Butch glared up at him and swatted angrily at his empty bowl. Nico could almost hear a raspy little voice say ‘Look at this shit! You see what I have to deal with?’.

Nico pursed his lips as he got rasped, pawed and headbutted at. It seemed the evil spirit possessing Butch was trying to communicate with him somehow… But what was it trying to tell him…? He hummed in wonder, then grinned as he  filled the bowl with the dried out little corpse chunks. Butch seemed very pleased with him, running his cheek along his knee on the way to digging in.

His phone buzzed. He opened the screen and petted Butch as he read the messages pouring in. 

[dont forget to eat]. Yeah, yeah… He smiled. [CB been fed btw dont fall for it].

Nico stopped mid pet and clicked his tongue. He glared down at Crazy Butch. “You sly little devil…” he muttered. 

Butch happily ignored him, continuing his stolen meal. 

[later <3]. His smile came back to live. Fine. This was fine. He finished his pet and replied. 

-

Something caught his eye, right in the corner of it. He turned. Why was the detergent on the microwave? Right. He was doing laundry yesterday. Well, he was going to. He should really get to that... Later.

Right now was for figuring out his new phone. His stupid ‘smart’ phone, with way too many menus and way too little buttons. Why did people get these things? Why had he allowed Logan to get one for him? 

Butch gnawed at his spiky little leather collar, distracting him. He remembered when Logan had brought that thing home. His words echoed in his mind. ‘It just suits him! He's living proof punk’s not dead’. Afterwards Logan had the scratches to prove it…

Nico grinned to himself as Butch kicked himself in the face repeatedly, trying to get at it. He ran a hand over him. Butch was too preoccupied to bite him. Nico shook his head and turned his attention back to the impossible little machine in his hand. He scoffed at the unopened manual on the table. As if!  

Crap! What time was it?! The clock congratulated him for being on time for once. A smile crept up, then it faded. It felt like he was forgetting something… 

Right. He was doing laundry. He clicked his tongue. He was still in time… He could probably make it if he hurried. He sped over and opened the door. Just two steps. Detergent, button. Easy. 

Why wasn't it easy? Where was the fucking detergent?! Fuck the detergent. Fuck the laundry. Time to go. He checked his pocket for his keys, just to be sure. Haha… Ha… He drew out a whine. Extra pathetically to really relish in it. Alright, time to do some remodelling… 

He paused and glared at a dried bloodstain on the floor. He wondered… Butch or Logan?... He shook his head and kept moving. Nope. No time to play that game right now. Besides, the answer was usually the same anyway… Both… At least it was a small one this time… 

During his search, Nico's eyes fell on Mark and Cindy's Christmas card on the coffee table. The first time they'd ever sent out a traditional family photo. And for a very good reason. 

He smiled at their tired faces. Slightly emaciated, pale, but very happy. Then he chuckled at the tiny elves on their laps. The twins took after their parents in features only. Clearly well fed,  bright red and crying hysterically. Tears of joy, he reckoned, at the fortune of being born in such a loving family. 

Butch had fallen asleep peacefully. Sprawled out, taking up as much of the couch as he possibly could with his tiny, furry body. The collar hung around his neck, still an undefeated champion. 

Nico pulled open a drawer in Logan's bedside table. Fat chance, but Logan did have a habit of randomly grabbing things and then putting them somewhere else without even thinking about it. So, not zero chance. 

The stony dinosaur tooth slid down the bottom of the drawer. He almost didn't register, too caught up with what was next to it. 

A framed picture stared back at him, probably just as surprised to see him. Logan's mother looked beautiful. He instantly recognized her from the numerous pictures at Logan's grandparents’ house. She had the same devious smile as her mother, and not just her… Logan couldn't have been much older than ten. He made a funny face, proudly showing off two missing teeth. Nico got a little nervous looking at Curtis. He'd really not expected to find any trace of him in Logan's home… He looked so… Normal. He looked happy even. 

Nico carefully closed the drawer. He probably shouldn't have seen that... 

Keys! No time to feel bad. 

His eyes fell on the usual huge pile of clothes on the floor. A well balanced blend of clean, dirty, Nico’s and Logan’s. An infallible system! He really hoped the keys weren’t in there… Just to be sure, he wasn’t going to check.

Something roughly key-sized in the corner of his eyes beckoned to him. His hopes were crushed when half the remains of what he hoped had once been a mouse revealed themselves instead. They looked fresh enough. Guess that answered that question he'd decided not to ask… He sighed as he made the damned little critter clean itself up. Its remaining legs dragged it up the windowsill, and finally out, with surprising agility. 

Wait… That's not what he came here for, right? A high pitched shriek outside broke his concentration. He grit his teeth. Oops… He was leaving anyway…

The longer he looked, the more frustrated he got and the more of a mess he made. Gods damn it. He was already so late. Screw the keys. He didn't need them in his life. He'd just bet on Logan not forgetting his this time... When you put the two of them in a house together, you didn't really get to have nice things like keys, wallets or TV-remotes. He huffed as he shoved his feet in his shoes, hands already on the small leather straps. 

He stopped, then pulled the keys out of his shoe with a faint smile. Touché, past Nico. 

-

Logan picked the worst time and place to be even more late than Nico was. He felt eyes drill into the side of his head. He tried to ignore them. The eyes decided not to allow that. 

“Are you a vampire?” a giggly voice asked him. 

Nico turned to see not one, but two young girls looking up at him expectantly through some very heavy black eyeliner. He scowled at the two rude little raccoons. They ducked down a little and giggled harder as he did, but didn’t back down, apparently finding strength even in small numbers. 

“No, I’m something way scarier. I’m a mentally ill weirdo looming near a schoolyard. Don’t talk to strangers” he warned. 

“Hot!” one of the girls declared loudly. They ran off giggling in a pitch only dogs could hear. 

Nico closed his eyes in a silent prayer for the future generation, then let out an impatient huff. He pulled out his phone, trying to figure out how to call someone with a touch screen. Fuck this fucking useless brick... There! He jabbed the lack of buttons extra hard to show the brick who's boss. 

A picture of Crazy Butch's scrungy face stared back at him as Logan picked up. “Come pick me up, I'm scared” Nico said dryly. 

“Hey, geezer. You actually figured out how to use your phone, huh?”. 

Nico pursed his lips. “I miss buttons” he stated solemnly. 

“Stop crying about your buttons. Just because you're almost ninety doesn't mean you get to be a little bitch about technology”. He heard someone yell something in the background and then heard Logan give a firm reply that he couldn't quite make out. “C'mon, this'll be good for you” he added while trying, and failing, not to laugh. 

“Did something happen?” Nico asked warily. 

“Oh, no... But some people should probably mind their own fucking business” Logan said cheerfully. “I'll tell you in a bit. I'm almost there”. 

Nico hung up, even more wary. He looked at his phone, then he looked up and shoved it back in his pocket. Whatever Logan got up to, it wasn't his problem. 

Almost there, my ass... He winced as someone messed up his hair. He elbowed Logan in his stomach. “So, what adventure did you get up to on your way here?” Nico asked, fixing the mess he just made. 

Logan grinned. “Some nosy colleague ripped into me for being a rude bitch to my grandpa. I fucking loved seeing her face twist in disgust when I told her you're my boyfriend” he giggled. 

Nico groaned. He looked him over. Seeing him in a dress shirt was still kinda weird, even if it was black and at least one size too big. “Roll down your sleeves. You look like a ‘cool’ youth pastor” he complained. 

Logan pointed at him. “Aha! But that means it’s working!” he replied excitedly. 

Nico raised an eyebrow. 

“I got told I’m ‘too intimidating’…” Logan added begrudgingly. 

Nico smiled sympathetically. “That doesn’t have to be a bad thing” he offered. 

Logan looked pensively at the school building. “Guess not… But, I’m really trying here. I’m just no good at trying to fit in to ‘normal’ society. I hope I figure it out soon…” A dark grin spread over his face. “Then again… If all else fails I can always burn the whole place down…” he concluded with a low voice. The fire in his eyes reflected a dangerously likely future. 

Nico clicked his tongue. “Sometimes I wonder if you're on the right side of that desk…” he said, unimpressed. 

Logan gave him an exaggerated profound look. “It's an asset, actually! I use it all the time. All my experience as a ‘problem child’ really helps those kids relate to me” he said, clenching a fist for emphasis. 

Nico snorted, quickly hiding his mouth behind a fist of his own. 

“Mr. Venema!” a teenage boy called out from a distance. “I just put up another one! Way bigger this time!” he yelled proudly, showing a can of spray paint on the inside of his jacket. 

Logan angrily pointed a finger at him. “What did I tell you?!” he started. 

Maybe there was some hope after all, Nico wondered. 

“Don't brag to me about stuff like that outside my office, you dumbass!” Logan yelled back. 

Nope. 

“Oops! See you tomorrow!" the boy yelled back happily. 

Logan sighed. “Yeah, guess I will… Damn it, that's another email”. 

Nico blinked a few times. “He seems excited to talk to you about vandalism…?”. 

Logan sighed deeply. “No, he's dealing with some ‘super secret’ other issues he wants to talk about… He's just trying to save face… Typical teenage boy, high school behaviour…” he complained sourly. 

Nico blinked even more. “I wouldn’t know. I didn't exactly live the typical high school experience” he countered. 

“Oh, right. You do have a little bit of a ‘homeschool’ vibe” Logan stated, seemingly mostly sincere. 

Nico thought back to the striking lack of ‘home’ and ‘school’ during most of his childhood. “... Sure”. 

Jeering somewhere close by caught both their attention. Logan groaned and stomped off in the direction of a small crowd before Nico even figured out what was going on. Nico watched him elbow himself to the centre of a circle of boys and girls, getting right between two young boys and seemingly trying to talk to one of them. 

Nico walked up closer, then stopped when the situation escalated. One of the boys went for the other, flinging a fist at his head. Logan grabbed his wrist before it could land. The boy turned to Logan instantly and punched him right in the face with his other hand. A low “Ooh” went through the crowd. The other boy spun around and ran off. Everybody went dead silent. 

Logan turned his face back to look at the culprit, still gripping his wrist. 

Nico held his breath. 

“For fuck’s sake, Derek… Now I have to suspend you…” Logan said with a low voice. The defeat was clearly audible. 

Nico exhaled. 

“I didn't mean to-” Derek muttered. 

“Uhm, you're not allowed to swear in front of students!” someone in the crowd yelled. 

Despite the distance Nico saw the flames in Logan's eyes flicker before he turned to the crowd. “Oh, now you care about rules?!”. He regained his composure. “You can file a complaint on the school website. Looking forward to it... Now get lost, all of you. I have work to do”. He looked back to Derek, the crowd dissipating behind them. 

“How is your face?” Derek asked carefully. 

“Disappointed” Logan replied coldly. 

“You're bleeding” Derek muttered. 

“Seems like a pretty reasonable response to being punched in the face, right?” Logan responded even colder. 

There was a short but uncomfortable silence. 

“I'm really sorry, Mr. Venema” Derek added finally. 

Logan seemed to warm up a little. “Good, be sure to tell Ms. Alvarez that too” he replied. “Go to her office. You and I will talk about this tomorrow” Logan let go of his wrist “You better show up this time”. 

Derek bowed his head down. “Yes, sir”. 

Logan half smiled. Derek scuttled away, scooping up his bag on the way. 

“Don't think I won't check if you went to see her! I always do!” Logan yelled after him. He wiped at his face and looked at the bloodstain on his hand. 

Nico finally dared to walk up to him. “Cool job you have there” he said sarcastically. 

Logan smirked. “Right? Pretty good chance he'll show up now and I'll actually get to do my ‘job’ for once. All it took was a punch to the face”. 

Nico wiped the last of the bloodstain off the corner of Logan's mouth. “Does it hurt?”. 

Logan cocked his head a little. “Pretty impressive left hook, not going to lie. But I've had worse”. 

Nico looked him in the eye. “I was being sarcastic before, but… that seriously was pretty cool. I thought you were going to freak out, for sure. But, you didn't. Not even a little”. 

Logan shrugged. “They're kids. They're dumb. They do dumb stuff. It doesn't get to me”. He seemed lost in thought for a second. “Don't get me wrong. I care, but I'm not going to let them have any power over me”. 

Nico hummed in agreement. 

Logan shot him an annoyed look. “You didn't seriously think I'd ever beat up a child, right?”. 

Nico pretended to think long and hard, then shook his head disapprovingly. “You're letting Ares down”. 

Logan laughed. “Good”. He leaned in to kiss him. 

Nico met him halfway. He ignored the taste of blood. 

The sound of a camera shutter ruined the moment. They turned to look. A group of young girls scattered like cockroaches. 

Logan pulled back and closed his eyes. “Yep, should have figured… That's going to spread like wildfire…” he sighed. 

Nico hummed. “Hope they got a good angle”. He tried to sound reassuring. Damn… What a mess all of this was… “Is it… Always like this here?” he asked carefully, gesturing at the red mark on Logan’s chin. 

“I mean, not to brag but, we are consistently voted the worst school in the city. Every. Single. Year.” Logan explained, nodding along slowly. 

“So that's why they hired you on the spot even though you showed up in fucking combat boots…” Nico realized out loud. 

“Yep… I was the only one who applied. First one in over a year!”. 

Nico snorted. Logan sounded so genuinely satisfied with that. 

“At least you're excited…”. 

Logan's grin softened to a warm smile. “I am…”. 

Nico pursed his lips, a smile hidden behind them. “Well… They're lucky to have you. Seriously”. He adjusted Logan's collar. Going in to button him up a bit more, he discovered an aggravating lack of button… “Are you kidding me?! Another one?! You need to stop doing that…” he complained, tugging out the now useless thread sticking out of the fabric. 

“Everything’s covered! It’s in line with the dress code…” Logan countered.

Nico sighed. Deep. He kept holding onto Logan’s collar the first steps towards the car.

-

He worked on autopilot, not even needing to remember any of the steps. His mind wandered, decades into the past. Some of his oldest memories. The yearly, many hours long train trips down to Rome blurred together. It was all so long ago, he’d been very young then… 

Some details stood out. Other things were always the same. Those stood out even more. His grandmother’s excitement to see them. The happy tears. Her long slender fingers as she would gesture hastily. Her stern, yet kind voice while he and Bianca helped her in the kitchen. Mostly, the pride in her eyes when she would plate her favourite dish. Matriciana, as she called it in her Romanesco accent. Well, not just her. It was an old recipe. Even then. 

He never quite got the flavour right. Close, but not exactly as she used to make it. He probably wouldn’t manage it this time either… Decent quality ingredients were hard to come by over here… He exhaled deeply. He wondered if his mother even let her know when they took off to-! 

“Need help?” Logan offered somewhere from the present. 

“Nope” Nico quickly dismissed with a raised hand. He didn’t even need to look at him. 

Logan’s eyes scorched his back intently. “Is this still about that time I broke the spaghetti in half?” he asked, unamused. 

“No…” Nico lied. Well, actually… He didn’t lie… He bit his tongue. “It was Bucatini” slipped past his teeth, giving himself away. 

Nico tutted at Logan’s groan. If anyone deserved to groan, it was him. “I can't trust you! So get out already!” he demanded, raising his hand a lot more sternly. This time he did glance. 

Logan put up his hands in defeat and turned around, raising a finger. “Fine! But you're going to have to get over that some day!” he threw over his shoulder on his way out. 

“Nope!” Nico threw back at him. And he promised himself he wouldn’t. Ever. 

-

They tried to eat in peace despite Butch's unrelenting green-eyed glare. Butch rasped adamantly when Nico accidentally made direct eye contact. Nico slowly shook his head and took another bite. 

“Give up, you bum. It’s never going to work” Logan argued, scratching Butch behind the ear. 

Butch swished his tail in angry disagreement. 

“You don't even like spice…” Logan bargained. 

Butch licked his lips trying to convince him otherwise. Logan rapped his fingers against the table. Butch rubbed against his leg and dropped down on his foot, presenting his hungry belly. Logan cocked his head and pursed his lips. 

“Don’t…” Nico warned. 

Logan turned to him. “But if he can just see that he actually doesn’t like it, he’ll-” he started. 

“No, he won’t” Nico cut in. “He never does. You keep falling into his traps…”.  

Logan narrowed his eyes, then closed them and relaxed his shoulders. When he opened his eyes back up, they glowed warm. He leaned in a little. “Thanks for cooking. It’s really good”. 

Nico returned a smile. 

Logan cocked his head a notch. “I’m sorry about breaking the spaghetti. I mean it” he offered. He didn’t need to clarify that, he always did. Still, he sounded even more genuine than usual. 

Nico smiled wider, leaning forward to rest his chin on his hands. “Bucatini” he corrected. 

Logan closed his eyes and took a slow, deep breath. “Gods, you’re so pretty…” he exhaled through his teeth. He pushed himself off the table and gathered the plates. 

“I’m sorry” Nico offered, also more genuine than usual. 

Logan looked back, not entirely pleased. “You’re still not going to forgive me, are you?”. 

Nico pursed his lips apologetically. “I wish I could…” He tossed up his hands and let them drop back down on the table in defeat. “But, my grandmother would haunt us for the rest of our lives…”. 

-

Nico looked on from the living room as Logan did the dishes. Even from all the way over here, even from the back, he could tell he was lost in thought again. Nico took a deep, sharp breath. He wondered what was going on in-!

Crazy Butch sprinted through the doorway with a low growl. He drifted under the couch, his nails making an unsettling noise as they dragged across the wood. 

Nico clicked his tongue. Alright. There was no peace in this house. “Your little monster is going to ruin your floor” he complained loudly.

Butch growled loud and raspily, clawing his way out and behind the curtains, only proving Nico’s point further. 

“It's his floor too!” Logan countered, sounding offended on Butch's behalf. 

Nico prepared his arsenal of sarcasm. 

Logan didn’t let him. “He uses it more than I do” he added matter-of-factly. 

Nico closed his eyes and gave up on him. Whatever, he'd just-! 

He jumped a bit as Butch crashed out of the curtains, right in front of him. They stared at each other in disbelief. Butch pulled back his ear, arched his back and hobbled away backwards. He let out a low, gravelly growl all the way back into the kitchen. 

Al…right… Nico gave his head a shake and took a pensive sip of his wine. He'd exorcise him later. This was his free time… 

-

Nico watched Logan scowl intently at the now empty sink, flicking his Greek fire on and off. He sighed and shifted, getting ready to get up and go confront Logan. Whatever was going on had taken long enough. Not even his favourite music could take his mind off of it. Worse than that, blasting his least favourite didn’t even seem to take Logan’s mind off of it either. 

Crazy Butch casually strolled onto his lap and flopped down. Well, guess he wasn't moving any time soon… 

Logan leaned against one of the large metal beams, staring at him with a heated, pensive amber glow. Nico looked on helplessly as he threw his phone somewhere on his beaten up leather couch, sure to be lost for the next two days.  

Nico raised an eyebrow. “I’m not helping you look for that when you forget in five minutes” he warned coldly.

Logan’s eyes flashed in annoyed amusement. He cocked his head away from the beam. “Being a bitch… Glass of wine… Terrible music… Am I dating my mom?” he wondered out loud. 

Thank the Gods. So he had noticed his ‘sneak’ attack. “Alright. No! I'm not touching that. You need to go back to your therapist” Nico shot back. 

Logan pursed his lips and walked over. “Enough. I can't handle this. At least one of those three things has to go. You'll get your shitty post-punk music back later” he said, turning down the radio. 

Ha! Got you now, noob. “The Sisters of Mercy are goth rock, you fucking poser” Nico stabbed venomously. 

Logan groaned in annoyance. The grin gave him away. He bowed down a little and took Nico's hand in his. “Forgive me, my edgelord” he pleaded dryly, kissing his skull ring. 

Nico hummed, pretending to consider it. “No” he finally declared, going slightly mad with power. He took a triumphant sip of red wine. It tasted even better than before. He stroked Crazy Butch behind his good ear, earning a guttural sound in approval. 

Logan pursed his lips and gave up. “Smug bastards, both of you” he left behind as he retreated into the bedroom. 

Damn right. Nico held up the remote and turned the radio back up. He grinned at Butch widely. 

Logan walked back out, right towards the radio, and pushed a button. Nico’s musical warfare made way for a musical counter attack in the form of a wall of noise as ‘Discharge’ yelled at them, clearly upset about something again. 

Nico clicked his tongue. “Why…” he muttered unimpressed. 

Logan winked at him. “You owe them. You tore them up”. 

Nico narrowed his eyes. “Saving your life!” he countered. 

Logan shook his head. “Nope, doesn’t count. I saved you first”. 

Damn it. Nico took a defeated sip of wine. He pursed his lips at the window. Double damn it. When did he start liking his terrible music? 

-

Logan undid his buttons. About half of his aggravatingly perfect torso peered through. He shoved his hands in his pockets. 

Nico clicked his tongue in irritation. “Either stay dressed or take it off” he demanded. “None of this nineties boyband crap”. He gestured at him with an angry motion.

Logan smirked. “Okay, fine” he conceded. “You can take it off”. 

Nico closed his eyes for a second and sighed. Yep… He turned to him, getting up close. He gave Logan an unimpressed look as he ran his hands over his back up to his shoulders. He ripped his shirt down in a single motion and tossed it to the side. Logan swallowed hard. Nico smirked. That's fucking right.  

Logan seemed completely lost in thought for a while. 

Probably thinking of something stupidly clever to say, Nico assumed. “Yan's right. You really are prettier when you’re quiet” he teased. 

Logan smiled widely, more than a little amused. He finally opened his mouth, then quickly caught himself and closed it. He glanced down for a second, then back into Nico's eyes. He almost looked… Scared? 

Nico narrowed his eyes. “What?” he asked, surprising himself with how concerned he sounded. 

Logan seemed to be too. “Sorry!... Uh, nothing” he stammered quickly. 

Nico felt like he got hit with a bucket of cold water, not just the water, the entire bucket. Now he knew why Logan never lied… He was Gods awful at it! 

“You're lying…” Nico said, more appalled than accusing. 

Logan pursed his lips, then smiled weakly. “Yeah… Sorry, I'll tell you later” he promised, nudging Nico in the stomach. 

Everything almost seemed alright again. 

Nico returned a weak smile. “Yeah”. 

Logan smiled warmer. “Don't worry about it” he reassured. 

“Alright” Nico reassured him back. He sighed in relief. 

Everything was fine. 

Logan held up his hands. “It's not a big deal” he lied. 

Nico froze. Logan didn't seem to realize, already on his way to the bedroom. This was bad. This was really bad. No. Nico willed his heart to calm down. It wasn’t. If there was something bad going on Logan wouldn’t have kept it from him. He was sure about that. Logan had always been honest… Until recently… 

He pushed the panic back down as hard as he could. So, just now had been weird. Whatever. He needed to clear his head a little. 

Nico shoved himself over to the bathroom. He turned the temperature up and turned on the shower. He absentmindedly shook off his clothes and got under. His thoughts wandered further under the clattering warm water. He went over the day, trying not to miss any important details. He made mental notes along the way. 

Yes, something was definitely up. 

Logan had been… Off. Not all the time, and not in a bad way… Except for the blatant lies just now. Mostly, he just seemed lost in thought a lot. That wasn't very like him either, actually… 

Aside from that, he'd been making eyes at him all day. That part Nico definitely didn’t mind as much… His face heated up. He bit his lip. Just to be sure, he decided to clean up extra well. He didn't want to be unprepared for anything. 

*

He dried off quickly and put on his pants, not bothering with his shirt. It would just get in the way. 

He followed the sound of a poorly tuned guitar into the bedroom. Logan didn't react immediately, lost in thought again. Nico leaned against the desk and looked at him for a while, admiring his fingers run over the guitar strings with mild envy. The still bare chest behind the guitar's body made up for the technical prowess behind the guitar’s sound.  

“Even more piercing eyes?” Logan asked with some amusement. He looked up at him. 

There it was again, the heated amber, making eyes at him. He'd been all over the world, but this was by far the most beautiful sunset he'd ever seen. He would never get enough of it. He melted instantly, smiling fondly. 

“Just enjoying the view” he said softly, unusually honest. 

Logan seemed to notice too. He got up and close. “Oh? Those are fighting words…” he said accusatorily. “Barging in here half naked. You've got some nerve”. 

Nico felt himself give in to the excitement, turning him a little less… Compliant. “Are you threatening me?” he asked, trying to goad him. 

“Do you want me to?” Logan asked suggestively. 

Nico smirked. “Depends. What are you planning to do to me?” he responded casually. 

Logan smirked back, his eyes glowing mischievously. He gripped Nico's earring between two fingers firmly and leaned in closer. “Whatever I want” he said quietly. 

Nico felt his face heat up. He laughed, gripping the edge of the desk a little tighter. “You think I'm just going to lie down and take it?” he asked. 

Logan got up close, rising to the challenge. He leaned down, making their foreheads touch, nudging his nose with his. “I bet I can make you” he threatened. 

Nico swallowed at the sudden huskyness of his voice. His reaction made Logan snicker. 

Gods. These pants were way too tight… Nico sighed in annoyance. He got up from the desk, grabbed Logan by the hem of his pants and shoved himself against him. He went in for a kiss, grabbing the back of his neck and lower back. Logan reached down into the back of Nico's pants, grabbing a firm hold. 

A tingle went down Nico's spine as their tongues met. Another went after it as Logan slowly and deliberately tickled the bottom of Nico's tongue with his. 

Logan let out a low hum as Nico grazed it with his teeth and bit down ever so slightly. Nico felt Logan's heartbeat pick up pace and his fingers twitch. He grinned against his lips. Got you. 

 He’d gotten pretty good at their little game. Ironically, if Nico could manage to get down on his knees for him, that would be an easy victory. He’d be able to get him to do anything at that point. He just needed to get free and-! 

His breath caught when Logan tightened his grip and ground his hips against him. Fuck. He’d gotten trapped. He lowered both hands to Logan's hips in defense, holding him off. 

Logan took his offensive further, grabbing Nico's wrists. He pushed Nico's hands behind his back, holding his wrists in place. 

Nico couldn’t get his hand off, the grip was more than just assertive. Logan ran his other hand up over Nico's upper arm. He bit down on Nico's lower lip to give it a little tug before letting go. A devious grin spread over his face as he did. Nico watched the warm fire glow in his eyes. 

“Nice try” he practically breathed. 

Nico froze. Logan shoved his foot behind Nico's lower leg and spun him around. He put a warm hand on the back of his neck and bent him over the desk, holding him down. He squeezed tight, it bordered on uncomfortable. Logan always knew exactly how to walk the line...

They breathed heavily for a few seconds, then Logan made a move. He pulled Nico against his hips, bucking them against him as he reached around to undo his zipper. 

Nico moved back as much as allowed, pressing against him. He slowly lifted his hips, making sure to grind against Logan’s, as intently as possible. He couldn't resist letting an evil little chuckle out when he felt Logan react. 

Logan shoved him back in place, then ripped Nico's pants down. Not far, but far enough. He pried Nico's legs apart slightly with his knee. 

Logan seemed to hesitate for a few seconds. 

Nico huffed in frustration and looked back. “Are you gloating? Or are you waiting for an invitation? Get on with it alr-!”. 

Logan smacked his ass with his free hand, hard. It made Nico choke on his words. Logan left his hand there, giving him a firm squeeze. 

Nico looked back to glare again. The fire in Logan's eyes raged. He had a smug grin on his face, almost evil. He roughly loosened his buckle and pulled out the belt from his pants. Just as roughly, he tied Nico's wrists in place tightly, giving the belt an extra tug just to get on his nerves. 

Nico winced just a bit. 

Logan pressed him down, and held him there. With his other hand, he grabbed a condom from his back pocket, then tore the wrapper with his teeth. 

Nico smirked and faced away in anticipation. 

He felt something very cold and wet. Then something hard and hot pressed against him. 

“I can tell you had fun in the shower…” Logan muttered accusatorily.

Nico smirked wider and braced himself as he felt Logan enter a bit, then slowly and deeply exhaled. 

“About fucking time” he scoffed. 

He suppressed a yelp as Logan suddenly entered a lot deeper, rough and fast. 

Nico let out a breathless gasp. 

Logan laughed. “Where's that sharp tongue of yours now, hm?” he asked with a breathy voice. 

Nico turned to him to make a smart remark, but was shut up by Logan suddenly entering completely. All he could do was let out a whine. Heat overwhelmed his face, in embarrassment and pain and pleasure. 

Logan gripped Nico's hair and shoved his face down on the desk, leaning in close to his ear. 

“That's what I thought” he laughed with a low voice. He kissed him on the temple. 

Nico scowled at him, he struggled to keep it up as Logan began to move. 

Logan smirked at him as Nico's expression started to falter. “You look so beautiful like this…” he hissed, looking at him in awe. 

Fuck. 

His genuine tone ripped into him mercilessly, making his heart skip a beat. Nico quickly faced away and bit his lower lip to keep quiet. 

Logan built up slowly. Nico felt his breathing go coarse. Every thrust pushed him a little closer to the edge. 

Logan picked up the pace with a grunt, firmly gripping him by his hips with both hands. He went deep. 

Nico let out a shameful noise. Logan responded with a low, short laugh through his panting. 

After making Nico squirm for a while, he shifted position. He put his hands next to Nico's waist and bent down over him, not letting up the pace. He slipped one of his hands under Nico's chest to the base of his neck and pulled him up a bit, pressing his back against his chest. He took Nico's shoulder between his teeth and bit him, just hard enough to hurt. 

Nico gasped. 

Logan adjusted his grip on his neck a little and reached down between Nico's legs with his other hand. It just barely grazed him, making Nico jolt. 

“Logan…! Please…!” Nico begged desperately. 

Logan relented. 

Nico cried out at his touch. A warm, sturdy hand closed around him. The type of hand that got things done, he was quickly reminded. He felt Logan tense up against him, tightening all hold on him. His teeth let go of his shoulder. Nico felt his lips make their way up to his ear. Logan took his earring between his teeth and gave it a light tug. He kissed him behind the ear and stayed there. 

Logan shifted his-! 

Shivers shot down Nico’s spine. The thrusts hit him just right. He gasped, loudly. 

“Yeah?” Logan panted against his ear. “Right there?”. 

Nico nodded furiously, turning too stupid with each hit to be able to string even one word together. Logan was never subtle, but especially not now. The sounds he let out were intoxicating. Nico fought his hardest to stay quiet, but he couldn't hold it in anymore. 

“It's so fucking hot when you sing” Logan taunted, his voice strained. 

Nico let a desperate whimper slip out. Logan moved his hand up from Nico’s throat, tilting his chin towards him. The rest of his desperation now led directly against Logan’s lips. He felt Logan’s tongue run over his teeth, then between them. Nico tried to keep up, but being completely overwhelmed, couldn’t do more than follow along. 

He let out another shaky whimper in defeat. Logan accepted it greedily, closing his lips around it. All the while still keeping absolutely. Perfect. Pace. 

Whatever game they were playing, Nico was losing. And he loved it. 

Logan’s grip tightened a little more. 

Oh, f-! 

“Fuck…!” Logan groaned under his breath. 

It was too much, Nico couldn't take it anymore. He braced himself. That instantly got a reaction. 

“I can't-! When you squeeze like that-!”. The pants were so heavy and damp, the words almost dripped down his ear. 

That was all he needed to hear. With a loud, hitched breath, his entire body tensed up. The tension slowly slipped down his body in one final, drawn out moan. 

He shuddered in the release, panting loudly. 

Logan slowed down, his movements turning a little more erratic, until Nico felt him twitch inside. Logan stopped and exhaled shakily. 

He ran a hand down Nico's back, stopping at the belt, pulling it loose with a single jerk. Nico felt him slump over his back, pressing him down onto the desk. He relaxed under the warmth. They caught their breath for a moment. 

Logan shifted and kissed Nico's shoulder, right on the bitemark. It stung a little. That was definitely going to bruise, he realized with a smirk. 

Logan turned his face to Nico's. Nico turned to meet his lips. Logan broke the kiss with a sigh. 

“You good?” he breathed against him. 

Nico smiled, nudging Logan's lips with his. “Better than good… You fucking savage” he chuckled. 

*

After another thorough shower, Nico decided to forget about getting dressed entirely. 

He found Logan lying on the bed, staring at the ceiling. He dropped down next to him, extra close to break his concentration. 

They looked at each other. 

“Dick” Nico addressed him. 

“Asshole” Logan acknowledged. 

They grinned at each other. 

“I'd been meaning to dick you down a peg” Logan jabbed lightly, right into his stomach. 

“Pfff! Please! Life fucks me in the ass harder than you ever could! Every. Single. Day!” Nico bragged, wagging not just one, but all his fingers in Logan’s face for emphasis. 

Logan locked his own fingers between them and shoved them down onto the bed, grinning at him. Nico pursed his lips, curling up his fingers. 

“But… Not usually that lovingly, I'll give you that”. 

Logan’s grin turned into a proud smile, then into another pensive look. He glanced down at their hands, nervously. There it was again... Whatever it was, it was starting to freak Nico out more and more. None of this fitted the usual style of gentle warfare in their relationship… He was done, and he was sore.

“What's going on with you?” Nico asked with a thinly veiled accusation. 

Logan tensed up a little. 

“You've been weird since I got here… Just spit it out already” he demanded, his tone a lot more stern now. 

Logan looked a little apprehensive. 

Nico was seriously starting to get worried now. Was something wrong? But they seemed so… Right only a while ago. “You're the one always saying people should be upfront” he accused. 

Logan smiled with mild frustration. “Yeah, I do keep saying that… Don't I…?”. 

Nico held his breath as Logan inhaled deeply. 

“I don't want to put pressure on you…” Logan said quickly. 

“Huh?” Nico let out. 

They gave each other a worried look. 

Nico narrowed his eyes. “I swear to Hades, if this is about a sex thing…”. 

Logan burst out laughing. “Fuck no!”. Then he turned and smiled. “Do you wanna move in with me?”. 

It hit Nico like a brick. There were no thoughts. 

“You really don't have to” Logan added reassuringly. 

Nico huffed in astonishment. 

Logan closed his eyes and turned away for a second. “Damn it… I kept waiting for the right moment… Guess I sort of fucked that up…”. 

Nico watched him dig into his pocket and pull something out. Something small. Something round. Logan laid it in the palm of his hand. Nico looked at the white gold ring. There were numbers inscribed on the inside, a date. 

“Is that…?” he started. 

“The day we met” Logan finished. 

Nico's hand trembled too much to slip it on. Logan reached up and helped him. It matched Logan's silver bracelet perfectly. It would have no matter what it’d looked like… 

“Perfect fit” Logan muttered approvingly, running a finger over the ring. 

Nico clenched his fist. “Yeah” he pushed out without any air. He was never going to take that off. He almost couldn't bear to look at it. Mostly he couldn't bear to look away from Logan's eyes. 

Logan narrowed them. Two scrutinizing little sunsets. Absolutely gorgeous. “So, that's a “yes” then?” he teased. Under the bravado were some unconcealed nerves. 

Nico felt a grin spread across his face. “Yes” he said happily “I'll move in with you”. 

Logan grinned back. He rolled on top of Nico, looking him even deeper in the eye. His eyes didn't just glow this time, they were radiant. “Fucking awesome. Now we both have a ring we can't get rid off!” he declared loudly. “And I already have a ton of dead plants to make you feel at home”. 

Nico giggled… He didn't even mind. Not this time. He faced away and let out a happy sigh. 

How did they get here? He wasn't complaining. In fact, he was doing the opposite of complaining-! 

Logan kissed his neck. Nico tried to push him off. It didn't work. Logan worked his way upwards to his ear. “I love you so much” he whispered. 

Nico felt his words heat him up to the core. “Ti amo di più” he replied softly. 

They laid there for a while, just basking in the afterglow of the moment. 

-

Nico woke up a few hours later as Butch jumped up onto the bed right next to his head. He winced as his face got sniffed very rudely. 

He found Butch's head in the darkness and stroked him behind his lack of ear a few times. Butch made a pleased guttural sound before he bit at his fingers and happily strutted down to their feet. 

He sighed, then rolled over to his other side and almost sprawled over Logan. Oops. 

Logan didn't move. 

Whatever, he didn't seem to mind anyway. Nico put his head down on Logan's chest and watched the moon stare at them through a crack in the curtains. 

His thoughts started wandering. Worries started flying in one by one, then all at the same time. 

The ring on his finger tightened with each breath, threatening to suffocate him. He breathed faster. The ring choked him harder. He grabbed it, making it tremble in his grip. Before ripping it off, he forced himself to stop.

His heart sped up. Then sped up even more. 

No problem. He went through the motions of what he’d learned. He didn’t even need to think about it anymore. Two seconds in through the nose, four seconds out through the mouth. He focussed on keeping his breathing low, down from his stomach. He kept it up, as long as needed. 

Slowly, the thoughts stopped being terrifying. Even slower, the thoughts stopped being at all. 

The ring loosened into a gentle embrace around his finger. It felt warm and smooth in his grip, soothing him lovingly as he turned it. He kissed it, then moved his hand over his heart. It knocked against the ring, in a steadily decreasing beat.

Butch stretching out dramatically between their legs pulled him back into the here and now with two lazy little paws. 

He felt the rise and fall of Logan's stomach under his arm. Nico closed his eyes and focussed on the calm rhythm of Logan's heart beat. When he finally calmed down enough, he thought about the past few years. 

Everything that had changed. Everything that had stayed the same... 

He exhaled as deeply as he could. Yep. Life was pretty good. 

I can do this, he repeated. And for the first time in a very long time, he really meant that. He smiled to himself with a small sense of pride. 

-------

Thank you for reading :D All 24 chapters are out on AO3, if you feel like reading more. Do make sure to read the tags and warnings to see if it’s what you’re in for (!): Strife - Chapter 1 - CryingCircusConductor - Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan [Archive of Our Own]

[cryingcircusconductor]

[PJO] Strife: XXIII. Life after near death

(The chapter nr. is one off on purpose, it's to indicate a bit more time passing than usual :) )

All warnings are spoilers: Handsyness during sparring, mention of cheating (not perpetrated by main cast), pretty girl rage, crying, catnapping, blood, minor(?) injuries, more skateboard shaming.

-------

The sky was cloudy, yet sunny. A perfect day to get punched in the face. Well, almost get punched in the face. Logan’s fist stopped right before impact, freezing Nico in place. Nico blinked as Logan nudged his nose with it. 

“You’re too predictable…” Logan complained. He backed up, shaking his head, then got right back in position.

Nico huffed in frustration, readying himself for his next strike. He hadn’t managed to land a single hit yet. Too predictable… He adjusted his grip on Specter’s hilt, making sure to keep his point on Logan. He struck right before Logan could-!

Nevermind… He sighed, waiting for Logan to let go of his wrist. 

Logan didn’t, tightening his grip instead. 

Nico watched his eyes burn mischievously. He braced himself for a throw, making sure to stay light on his feet and feel which way Logan might try to move him. Exactly the one way, he hadn’t accounted for apparently. Logan pulled his wrist straight up, sticking Specter into the air and making their chests collide. 

Nico huffed at the impact and squirmed against him as Logan slid his other arm around his back. Logan let out a low chuckle while leaning in close, the flames no longer mischievous, but evil. 

Nico sighed dramatically before closing the distance. Logan twisted Specter out of his hand. Nico let himself get pulled closer, trying not to get too lost in the moment. Well, not too lost to do this! He hooked his leg behind Logan’s knee and threw him on his back, landing on top of him. Logan’s surprised gasp took long enough to straddle him between his thighs and swipe Specter off the grass.

Nico looked down at him with a smug little smile, his sword raised above Logan’s face in an empty threat to stab it down. “I learned that from you” he teased. 

In turn Logan stared up at him with pride, hands up in surrender. His eyes darted from the tip of the sword, to his face. Another mischievous flicker went through them as he slowly moved his hands over to Nico’s hips. “Yeah! Maybe there is some use teaching you…”. He slipped under the fabric of Nico’s shirt.

Nico snorted, stabbed Specter into the grass next to Logan’s face and rolled off. He grinned at the sound of Logan’s disappointed groan and rested the back of his head on his hands. Specter’s blade protected him from the pout next to him, only leaving room for the pleading eyes above it. 

Nico smiled victoriously at the cloudy, evening sky above them, catching his breath. A whale slowly floated by, then a mushroom, followed by the pointlessness of existence. Welp, time to stop…

Valentina skipped past them on their way to the door, waving happily. The dimples next to her smile looked especially adorable today, probably because she smiled wider than usual. “Bye boys~!” she mused.

Nico stuck up a hand, smiling back. 

“Gwen couldn’t force you into dinner?” Logan asked, by the sound of it, genuinely impressed by Valentina’s perseverance.

“No! Not tonight!” Valentina confirmed. “I have a date with my boyfriend!”.

Logan grinned and jabbed her in the arm. “Ooh! Good for you! Must be a nice guy if you’re so excited about him!” he concluded warmly.

Valentina smiled back, rubbing her arm. “Oh, he is! You probably don't know him. He's a little older” she said quietly. “His name is Richard”. 

Nico sucked in his lips and side-eyed Logan. He was just in time to see his expression go dark. 

“Son of Hermes?” Logan asked in a low voice. 

Valentina looked at him anxiously. She looked at Nico, then back at Logan. “Yes?” she offered politely, but in a noticeably higher pitch. 

“The guy that cheated on Yan…?” Logan asked with an even lower voice and even darker expression. 

Valentina's eyes went wide. “Cheated…?” she asked with a voice so thin it was barely audible. “When?...!”. 

Nico gripped Logan's upper arm, making sure to keep him in check. He tried to sound as delicate as he could. “About four months ago”. 

Valentina's shy, polite demeanor shattered like a vase shot with a cannon. “Gods fucking damn it!” she roared with a guttural sound. “That motherfucking-!” She pulled up a locket out of her sweater and gnawed at the chain. “Enculé de fils de pute!”. She ripped the locket from her neck and smashed it into the ground. “We've been dating for-! Five-! Fucking-! Months!” she underlined each word by stomping on the locket with her neat little kitten heels. 

“Val…” Logan tried, completely taken aback. He put his hands up, inching them to her shoulders. 

Valentina straightened up, tossing her hair over her shoulder. She looked up and fanned herself a little with her hands. She took a few deep breaths and put on a bright smile. “Oopsie! Sorry!” she chirped. She gave Logan a quick hug. Then put out her arms to Nico, offering the same. 

Oh. Alright? He quickly accepted. 

Her muscles strained around him, audibly. “Thank you so much for telling me~” she almost sang. She smiled even brighter and pointed two fingers to the kitchen door. “I'm going to go inside and make a quick call!”. She looked up and shook her head side to side in feigned excitement, then strode off, slamming the door behind her. 

“Poor girl…” Nico muttered. 

“Dumb guy…” Logan added. “I think she might actually kill him. Even if she doesn’t, Gwen will… Come to think of it, I still owe Yan his nuts too…”. 

Nico hummed in approval. “I love a happy ending” he mused, smiling to himself. 

Logan nudged him. 

They watched Valentina’s silhouette fight a bunch of invisible assailants through the heavily lit kitchen curtains. Her muffled screaming added to the ambience. 

“Let’s give her some space…” Nico concluded. 

Nico and Logan finished cooking where Gwen left off, allowing her to follow Valentina through the whole house and interject some careful, soothing words between all the yelling and swearing.

Angry tears streamed over Valentina’s lack of dimples as she gnawed on her fork with her pearly white teeth. Nobody dared to say anything, listening intently to the sound of a knife cutting right into ceramics. Her cutlery almost stayed upright when she let go of it.

She glanced at Logan and took a deep breath, inflating a forced smile. “I heard you bought an apartment”. The smile warmed up. “Congratulations!”.

“Thanks!” Logan replied. “Yep! I’m moving first thing tomorrow”.

 Nico breathed a quiet sigh of relief as the conversation left Richard behind in the dust, and steered towards a brighter future.

-

Nico’s worries focussed on Gwen’s kitchen door. They’d spent barely a single hour packing Logan’s modest amount of possessions into the beat up red truck. Only one thing left to pack… Technically not even his… And it had already taken more time than everything else combined.

Logan finally barged through the door, very pleased with himself. “Look who's finally ready for the next step in our relationship!”. 

He smiled triumphantically, lifting up a beat up cat carrier. A miserable rasp flowed out. It didn't really draw attention, however. Nico hissed as he took in the state of Logan's arms. 

Dozens of short and long scratches spread out in all possible directions. Butch had seemingly thrown in some deep bite wounds just to mix up the pattern. Blood flowed out like small rivers, flooding over his arm and onto the floor. Some drops fell on the carrier while he held it out. It shook aggressively as Butch fought to break out of his confinement. 

Logan put the carrier onto the counter next to him. Gwen quickly grabbed a kitchen towel and started wiping at the closest arm. She let out an anguished groan. 

Nico shook his head. “You look like you got mauled by a bear…” he muttered in dismay. 

“Pretty much felt like it too!” Logan replied, gently pulling the towel out of Gwen's hand and wiping his other arm. “That was easily one of my hardest fights yet. Vicious little bastard” he said with admiration. 

He leaned down a bit in front of the carrier and patted the top. The carrier practically jumped, a loud, angry rasp erupted from it. 

“Sorry, buddy… I'll make it up to you. Promise” Logan cooed, seemingly sharing in some of Butch's misery. He stood up straight, giving them a half smile. “Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go get a Tetanus shot!” he declared cheerfully. Some of the joy from earlier had apparently found its way back to him. 

He threw the blood stained towel into the sink, grabbed his coat and strolled out the door, holding up a scratched up hand. 

Nico walked over to the tiny prison. He leaned down and looked at its equally tiny inmate, giving him a well deserved scowl for the violent crime he'd just committed. He got a long, angry hiss in response. 

Nico's expression softened a little. Butch looked easily as terrified as he did angry. He had pushed himself as far back as he physically could, almost folding over himself. 

Nico sighed. “I know… But I still don't forgive you” he told him sternly. “...Yet” he added quietly. 

Gwen leaned in next to him. She pouted angrily at Butch. He lowered his head and let out a guttural whine. 

Her pout instantly turned sad. “Aww… Poor little asshole…” she murmured with genuine pity. She picked up another kitchen towel and covered the small grated door. “I'm going to clean up his room real quick…” she started, smiling brightly. “Well, the guest room, I guess”. She giggled soundlessly. 

Nico noticed something lurking in the shadows of the corners of her lips. “Need help?”.

“Nope!” she tried to chime. “You watch the evil furball!”. 

Alright. Should be easy enough. He leaned back against the-! 

Butch pounced at the side of the carrier, slamming it into his arm. Nico shot back up, arms around himself. Right...

-

Logan returned home with an air of irritation. He threw off his coat. The kitchen tiles let out dozens of small startled shrieks as the spikes hit them. “Look at what they did to me!” he shouted desperately. 

He held out his arms, wrapped all the way in bandages. “They smeared some bullshit all over them and now I'm not allowed to take these off for at least two days!” he complained loudly. 

Nico looked at him, making sure to show how unimpressed he was. “What did you expect, idiot? You were ripped to shreds. Did you seriously think they were just going to stab you with a needle and let you back out the door?” he asked a little angrily. 

“I was sort of hoping that…” Logan replied, his tone much quieter. 

“How did they even manage to put those on you? Figured you'd fight to the death…” Nico wondered out loud. 

Logan pouted. “I have a weak spot for stern women…”. 

Nico gave him a bitter look. 

“And she was sooo old” Logan quickly added. 

Nico huffed. “So you have a thing for older women now?”. He added a little more venom than he had in him. He couldn't let him off easy all the time. 

“Relax. You're way more stern” Logan replied. “And waaay older” he added with a smirk. The smirk didn't last when he looked down at his arms again. “How am I going to shower with these?” he whined. 

Nico opened his mouth and quickly shut it again. Too late. 

Logan smirked at him mischievously. “... Were you going to offer to help me?” he asked, smirking wider. 

“... No” Nico lied. 

Logan cocked his head a little. “Too bad…” he chuckled. “When they say two days, it's really just a recommendation right?” he asked with feigned sincerity. 

In Nico's mind he was practically already ripping them off. “You fucking better not touch those!” he snapped. “Gods! Alright, fine. I'll help you”. 

Logan seemed to weigh his options for a few seconds. He grinned. Nico felt a smile creep through his annoyance. 

-

Gwen wrapped her arms around Logan and pulled him against her. She rubbed her face on his shoulder and swayed him from side to side, humming a happy little tune. “Aaargh! I’m going to miss you so much!” she muffled into his shoulder. 

Logan ruffled her hair. “I’m going to miss you too. So come visit soon!”.

Gwen nodded against his shirt. Logan tried to pull away. Gwen held on tighter, burying her face even deeper. Her arms trembled. 

Oh…!

Logan chuckled and kissed the side of her head. “Thanks for everything, Gwen. I really owe you. More than I can probably ever make up for”.

Gwen hastily shook her head, letting out a shaky breath.

Nico grabbed the carrier, quickly but gently lifting Butch off of the counter. He ignored Butch’s loud protest as he gestured to the door. After getting an approving nod, he made his escape. 

Nico looked at the broken off blade stuck deep into Gwen's apple tree. Melancholy hit him. Then confusion. The brave little tree was proudly blossoming to the fullest, like there hadn't been a nearly successful attempt on its life. Not only that, he realized, it was off season… 

“You ready?” Logan asked him, tapping all thoughts out of his head with a finger to the forehead. 

“Yeah” Nico replied. He was. He followed Logan's gaze to the kitchen window. 

Gwen was looking at them, arms crossed on the counter, resting her chin on them. She noticed them looking. Her bittersweet smile brightened. She happily stuck up a middle finger. Logan smiled back and raised his own. Gwen smiled wider, then hastily wiped her eyes.

Nico sucked in his lips trying not to laugh. That would be culturally insensitive, after all. He stuck up a hand instead. Gwen found him and waved her middle finger excitedly, quickly realizing and correcting herself with an apologetic grin. A laugh escaped him after all. He grinned back at her before grabbing the grill, offering his other hand to Logan. 

Logan was quiet. Pensive. That made sense. Goodbyes were never easy, no matter how ready you thought you were. He looked at Gwen one last time before reaching out. 

The shadows curled out from under the truck, wrapping themselves around it. Butch’s hiss cut through the whispers.

The darkness unwrapped in Wilmington, Delaware, the first stop on their one way trip. The truck let out a scrapy groan as its suspension settled on the quiet road. A remarkably well kept, quiet road. 

Nico’s eyes went over the large houses in the neighbourhood, all standing apart from one another at a reserved distance, the borders of their enclaves distinctly etched out with perfectly cut lawns.

Yan sped over a neatly laid red brick path, away from the largest house of all. “Hiii~!” she screeched excitedly, arms already spread. She flew into them, trusting them to catch her. 

“Hi” Nico grunted on impact, slowly lowering her back to the ground. 

Yan beamed a proud smile at Logan, letting him mess up her hair. She knelt down to greet Crazy Butch. Her smile shot down into a grimace when his claws hooked around the openings in the wire door. “Huuh…” she concluded, carefully patting the top. 

Nico grinned, strapping the carrier in tightly on the back seat. Yan took the seat on the other side, making sure to stay as far away as possible. Nico waited for Logan to get in before doing the same. He gripped the chair tightly, closing his eyes to concentrate better. This wasn’t going to be easy… With an exhale he let the shadows pull them into the darkness of the stormdrain. 

They flushed back out on the shady side of a hill. A little steeper than the one he’d actually aimed for. Yan gasped as the car almost tilted to the side, then luckily fell back on all fours. Nico took a sharp breath, slipping down his seat. 

Logan reached over and gave his shoulder a warm, concerned squeeze. “You good?” he asked. 

“Yeah” Nico replied weakly, pushing himself back up. He glanced over. 

  Logan smiled, relieved, then fixed his eyes at the road across from them. The road to Salt Lake City. Just a few miles now. He narrowed his eyes, fire burning low. Pensive again. 

Nico saw pensive make way for determined with just a few raps of his fingers against the steering wheel. Right, that reminded him… He fastened his seatbelt, he was going to need it. 

The small prison jolted and shook in panicked surprise as Logan started the car. Nico pursed his lips in pity. He listened to Butch trying to dig himself out through the bottom of the carrier, then heard him give up and settle down with a surprisingly heavy sound. 

Butch let out a miserable and gravelly melody. It sounded like he was playing a raspy little harmonica...  

-

Speeding through the downtown area, the truck suddenly screeched to a stop in front of a battered looking apartment building. Nico blinked at the broken window next to the main entrance, his eyes fell on the figure underneath it. A person laid on a strip of torn cardboard, stretched out on their side, facing the wall. Most of them was hidden under a large hoodie, the hood pulled over their head. 

“Hey, Merv” Logan greeted his new neighbour as he walked up to the door.

Merv grunted, rolling over to his other side. He was wearing not one, but two stained and torn hoodies. His scraggly beard covered almost all the parts of his face the tightly shut hoods couldn’t reach. Nico guesstimated him to be somewhere between thirty and eighty.

“Those big boxes they brought in last week yours?” Merv grunted inquisitively, bloodshot eyes wide and unblinking. 

Logan hummed in affirmation. 

Merv’s eyes narrowed. “I want in on that cardboard” he grunted.

Logan smirked. “It’s all yours, bud”.

“Sweet” Merv grunted, smiling with his eyes. His eyes narrowed right back down “Got any change on you?”. The grunt had an undertone of guilt. 

Logan hissed. “After buying this shithole?” he nodded to an upper floor. “Fraid not…”.

Yan sprang into action, her frog shaped coin purse at the ready. She snipped open the mouth and emptied the shiny stomach contents into her hand. “Here you go, sir!”.

Merv sat up to accept them gratefully. “Bless you, ma’am!”. He made the sign of the cross. He turned back to Logan. “That’s a sweet lady you got there”.

Logan grinned. “She sure is, but she isn’t mine”. He gestured at Nico. “The scary one is”.

Merv looked Nico over carefully, then raised an unkempt eyebrow. “Uhuh… But, has he got change…?” he grunted in wonder, his final appraisal obviously hinging on the answer.

Nico snorted. He carefully lowered Butch to the sidewalk before rifling through his pocket. A drachma brought itself to light with a golden shimmer and dropped down in Merv’s hand. 

Merv turned it over a few times in his fingers. He revealed some broken teeth, biting down on the coin’s edge. “Just as sweet as the lady!” he grunted happily.   

Six flights of stairs later, Nico lowered the cat carrier down once again, on a scratched up wooden floor. Butch growled sadly, practically rattling a small cup against the bars of his cage door.

Nico let his eyes wander over Logan’s new apartment. Bare brick walls all around. Large slanted windows, broken up in a roster of small rectangles by the iron frame. Beautiful, but a bitch to clean. Three tall, dark metal beams held up the high ceiling. A small collection of very big boxes waited for them in the middle of the floor. 

Yan cooed empathetically at the carrier when Butch let out another raspy cry.

Logan flipped the lock on the small jail cell and opened the door, approving Butch for parole. Butch disagreed, pushing himself further back. Apparently in a short few hours he'd already gotten so used to life behind bars, he didn't know how to adjust to society anymore. 

Logan patted the top of the carrier. “Yeah? You want your own apartment? Fine by me”. He got up and walked away. A cabinet door shut soon after. 

Nico gave the carrier a pitiful look. He wondered if Butch was going to be able to live a ‘proper’ life after all his time on the street. 

He watched Butch happily run out towards the sound of kibble hitting a bowl. 

Ha…

-

Over the next hour all three of them walked back and forth, unloading everything they’d packed up just that morning. Yan and Nico spent most of that time groaning as Logan shrugged at every single inquiry where to put anything. They groaned even harder at the somehow even less clear instructions on how to put the bed together. 

Nico glanced at her over the clearly incorrectly built bedside. “You’ll never guess who got dumped by Valentina yesterday” he set up. 

Yan’s eyebrow raised at the manual she was reading. 

“Richard” Nico revealed without any flair. 

Yan pursed her lips, the smallest, smuggest little smile all the way on top of them. “Who…?” she asked coyly. 

They both chuckled.

Yan let out a long, sad sigh. 

Nico folded his arms over the bedside, looking at her sternly. “That’s not about him I hope…”.

“Ha!” Yan blurted out, resting her elbow on her side of the bedframe and furrowing her brow at him. “Gods, no!” she assured. “No… Dating is just the worst. I broke up with someone last week… He was so perfect. I liked him so much, but… I was so busy trying to make sure he liked me back, that I sort of forgot that he was supposed to like me the way I am… I’m not making that mistake again!”. 

Nico half smiled at her. “Good for you, Yan… But, yeah. That definitely sucks” he affirmed. 

Yan grinned through her misery. “This doesn’t even scratch the surface! The guy before that insisted on paying for dinner on our first date, and by that I mean he snuck out to pay after I said no for the hundredth time, and then guess what? When I told him it wasn’t going to work out two days later, he sent me a fricking Venmo request!”.

Nico laughed in second hand frustration. “Fucking Hell… I don’t envy you, having to date straight guys” he joked with exaggerated heaviness. 

“Ha!” Yan let out again, hitting the bedframe for emphasis. “Says you!” she accused.

Nico raised an eyebrow above his grin and shook his head, not getting it. 

Yan stuck up a finger. “Observe”. She turned to the open door and cupped her mouth. “Lo! What type of deodorant do you use?!”. 

“Green!” Logan’s voice yelled back at her confidently. 

Yan bent over herself and giggled loudly.

Nico sucked in his lips. “That’s a completely different type of idiot…!” he argued quietly, screwing yet another stubby metal leg onto the bed. 

Yan looked over the still wonky bedframe, then back at the manual, turning it over in her hands, and back again. She sighed in defeat and bent over her knees, holding the useless papers out for Nico. He reached over and took them, reading them carefully. The seemingly completely unrelated pictures taunted him from the corner of his eyes. Logan walked up and waited in the doorway. 

“Hm?” Nico let out without looking. 

“Have you seen my phone?” Logan asked. 

“Yeah, it was in the bookshelf for some reason…” Nico muttered, trying to keep his attention on the encrypted code in front of him. 

“Thanks” Logan said cheerfully as he turned to saunter off. 

Nico furrowed his brow. “You don’t even read!” he grumbled after him in exasperation.

-

They gathered the last things from the truckbed. Exactly three boxes left. Merv grunted a happy tune while folding his new cardboard in and out behind them, building his new fortress exactly to his liking. 

A teenage boy rode his skateboard past a group of girls waiting at the bus stop across the street, staring straight ahead, hands in his pockets. He glanced around indifferently, slowly rolling to a stop. The girls chatted on happily, admiring each others’ brightly coloured keychains. Spontaneously, the boy turned around and tried again. He successfully caught all the girls’ attention when one of his wheels found a pothole and threw him at their feet.  

Logan’s laugh was stronger than Yan’s grip on his cheek. Nico shook his head disapprovingly, a mean little edge in the corner of the grin he was trying to suppress.

-

Butch stared at them out from under the perfectly assembled bed while they ate their dinner. Eritrean food, from the welcoming little place down the street, in three very different degrees of spiciness.

“How's university life?” Yan asked, visibly dreading the answer. 

“Pretty decent” Logan answered. “Somehow I even managed to pass all my exams this year, despite the fact that I can't read”. He looked quite pleased with himself. 

Yan cracked up a little. She crossed her arms. “Well, at least you do all your assignments in time and don't skip any of your classes right?” she asked, pretending she didn’t know the answer. 

Logan gave her an awkward smile. “I go to the mandatory lectures” he offered. “... Most of them” he added quietly. 

She gave him a stern pout. “As long as you don't get in trouble anymore”. 

Logan looked a lot more confident now. “Yes, ma’am!”. He tugged on her hair. 

-

Nico returned out of the shadows behind the stack of boxes in the still mostly empty apartment, Yan now safely back home in her mansion. The two way trip took a little more out of him than he’d anticipated. He steadied himself on a box, almost falling over when his hand sank through the opening. Butch flew out of the box next to it, finally revealing where he’d been hiding all day. 

Nico jolted, cursing under his breath as he pulled his hand out of the untrustworthy cube, opening up the flaps. A small figure right in the middle of the opening gave him a stern look, waiting for him impatiently on top of the pile of other miscellaneous trinkets.

He reached for it. Something he must have accidentally left in Logan’s room ages ago. Something he’d completely forgotten about, just for a little while. Something that didn’t belong in the slightest. Not anywhere, not anymore… He traced the folds of the robes of the small figurine with his thumb. 

“Is that from the boardgame you were so obsessed with?” Logan asked from his side. “I promise I won’t make fun of you” he added, sounding genuine enough. 

Still… Nico folded his hands and pressed them against his mouth. Logan was trying, so hard. Nico appreciated that, so much… He was stronger than this. This wasn't even really about Mythomagic. No. He couldn’t help it. “It’s not a boardgame. It’s a figurine-based trading card game” he explained, gesturing with his hands for emphasis. 

The corner of Logan’s mouth twitched, he bit his lip. “... You’re making this really hard on me” he said through gritted teeth. 

“I’m just saying” Nico doubled down, gesturing extra firmly. 

“Look, if I don’t get to call you a nerd, at least let me call it a boardgame. I’m not going to even pretend to try to remember what a-”. Logan seemed to think hard trying to remember, then caught himself and shook his head. “You know what? I got my answer. I’ll just leave you two alone”. 

Nico chuckled to himself. A win is a win. Even if it wasn't on purpose... 

“My sister left it to me” he told Logan's back. 

Logan stopped. 

Nico looked carefully at the figurine in his hand and continued. “Percy gave it to me after she died. She wanted me to have it… If it weren't for that I would have gotten rid of it ages ago, just like all the others…” he muttered to himself. Crap. Was he going to cry? A warm hand ran over his back. 

“Sorry…” Logan muttered. 

Nico huffed in surprise. Poor guy. He smiled and nudged Logan with his hip. “Why? How could you have possibly known that? I never tell you anything” he said with a chuckle. 

Logan looked up and cocked his head. “Hah… Yeah, true. You do like dropping your sad lore on me only when I least expect it” he complained. He smiled warmly. “Keeps me on my toes. Hoping I get to hear more…”. It sounded like a plea, maybe an invitation. 

Yeah… Nico wished he was better at this. Hell, he'd settle for just not being absolutely terrible at this… 

“You don't owe me anything. It's fine to have secrets. Just know you can talk to me about whatever, whenever” Logan reassured. 

Stop it! I get it. It's fine… Nico wrapped his arms around him and pressed himself against him, staring deeply into his eyes. They lit up as he did. He let out a deep sigh. “I know that, but thanks for saying it anyway” he said softly. 

Logan leaned in. Nico pulled back a little, staying out of reach. Logan looked a little hurt. 

“Now stop being so nice to me. It's freaking me out” Nico warned. 

“Okay fine, you emotionally constipated masochist” Logan relented. 

They grinned at each other. 

“Way better” Nico said happily. He closed the distance. Determination took over. He was going to try harder to share. 

They pulled away. 

“So who's that?” Logan asked with genuine interest. 

Crap… Could he start trying to share more from tomorrow on? No. No excuses. 

“Hades” he replied weakly. 

A wicked grin flashed over Logan's face. He quickly swallowed it back and nodded, obviously trying everything he could not to make fun of him. “Hah” he let out, just as weakly. 

They pursed their lips at the figurine and stared at it for a while. 

“Daddy's boy…” Logan muttered quietly. 

Nico cracked up a little. 

“Sorry! Sorry!” Logan followed quickly. “I couldn't keep it in…”. 

-

Having spent the entire day being productive, enjoying the fulfilling task of moving things from one place to another, they hadn’t actually had much chance to catch up. That seemed like a good enough excuse to stay the night. Not that he needed one.

Logan stared at him from his side of the bed. His eyes glowed with a low burning, warm fire. “Thank you for all your help” he almost whispered. The fire died down a little. “How are you?” he asked, a hint of guilt overshadowed by genuine concern. 

Nico shrugged. “Relieved. Glad it’s over.” he replied with a half smile, realizing how sore his shoulders were. “Glad you’re settled”. He almost jolted when he remembered he did have some news. “Hazel and Frank want us to come over again soon” he shared diligently. He was never going to allow himself to let her slip to the wayside again.

Logan smiled, humming in obvious agreement. “Sure. Probably the least we can do as their evil twins, right?”. 

Nico snorted. Surprisingly spot on… Gross! “You have to stop pointing out how related we all are…” he complained. 

Logan smiled wider, humming in even more obvious disagreement. 

“How are you? You got any news?” Nico asked, trying to change the subject. 

Logan stopped mid shrug, visibly mulling it over. He looked at his phone to make sure he didn't miss anything. Seems he had. “Right. My grandpa’s butt said ‘#$’ this morning” he relayed dryly. 

“Ha. Look at his butt go. Keeping up with the times. Better than me, honestly” Nico replied. 

Logan grinned deviously at the screen. Something really bad was about to happen… “I'll tell him you're impressed by his butt” he snickered. 

“Please don't do that to either of us…” Nico begged desperately, already plagued by prophecies of their next, sure to be doomed, visit. 

Logan gave him a pleading look. Good, that meant he wasn’t too late this time. 

“Delete it” Nico ordered more sternly. 

Logan groaned in disappointment, thankfully obedient. He threw his phone into his pile of clothes on the floor and rolled over. He turned off the light, his light, and gave Nico a kiss goodnight. 

Nico rolled onto his back when he pulled away, making sure to press his back down onto Logan’s new mattress extra heavily. He rolled his shoulders, feeling every inch of it. Yep this was definitely bigger. Softer too. Not nearly as creaky. No more cramped nights, unable to move without jabbing or kicking on accident. He definitely wasn't going to miss the aching muscles and bones. 

Even in the dark he could still make out Logan's familiar silhouette. The slow rise and fall of his breathing. Already sleeping peacefully. All the way over there… Without him… Gods damn this stupid big ass bed! 

-------

Thank you for reading :) All 24 chapters are out on AO3, if you feel like reading more. Do make sure to read the tags and warnings to see if it’s what you’re in for (!): Strife - Chapter 1 - CryingCircusConductor - Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan [Archive of Our Own]

[cryingcircusconductor]

[PJO] Strife: XXI. Tartarus hath no fury like a Goddess scorned

All warnings are spoilers: Some dirty jokes, Some blood, mild injuries, corpses, more corpse desecration, near collapsing, near death experience, choking, hostage situation, toxic yuri.

-------

Two weeks had passed. Two days they had left. Two plans was all they had managed to come up with… The first option was to storm Eris’ vacation home and see what would happen next, most likely a painful death. That was Logan’s plan. The second option was to call her bluff and hide, spending the rest of their lives on the run. That was Nico’s plan. They both straight up sucked. 

Logan nudged Nico’s shoulder, stopping his downward spiral. “Hey, no pressure, but if we’re doing mine, we should probably get to it…”.

Nico took a deep breath, ready to continue the rest of his spiral out loud. He tried to stay concentrated while Logan kept turning his Greek fire on and off. “Alright, I know my plan isn’t that much better, but there is no chance in Hell just barging in is going to end well… We have to think of something else! We can’t just start a fistfight with the literal embodiment of strife! In her own home no less! She’s immortal! I-!”. Actually have something to lose now… He tore his eyes away from Logan’s when he felt tears well up. 

Logan turned the fire off and reached over, grabbing his hand. “Look, Spooky… I know it sucks, but I think the harsh truth is we just don’t really have a choice” he shrugged. “We can’t not deal with it. Sure, if we go we might die, but it’s our only shot at an actual life” he shrugged.

Nico felt his hand tremble in Logan’s despite the warmth. “Yeah…” he sighed, tightening his grip. He hated when Logan was right, which was surprisingly often.     

-

Letting Gwen know of their plan at the last possible moment, they’d prevented a long tearful goodbye, in favor of a short angry one. Leaving her behind on the other side of the shadows, they’d stepped out in Central Park. The Ramble, in the southern half. Among the rocks in the carefully crafted wilderness, an exceptionally large rock didn’t quite stand out. Well, not to anyone who didn’t know exactly what it was, at least. 

Logan looked around, then settled his eyes back on Nico and raised an eyebrow. 

Nico gestured at the large rock right in front of them. “The Door of Orpheus” he explained. “Leads right down to Hades. All we need is some music”.

Logan grinned, eyes burning with amusement. “Oh? Does that mean I get to hear you sing again?”.

Crap. “No!”. Nico ripped his hand free to stick it in Logan’s face. “We-!”. His hand froze. He hadn’t actually thought about that. Will had opened it last time…

Logan shoved his hand aside, still grinning. “Fine. I’ll sing” he declared smugly. 

Nico sighed. “No… There’s no way it’s going to accept that as music…”. He reached out an arm. “Nevermind. I’ll just…” he muttered, drawing in the shadows from the undergrowth.

Logan groaned, grabbing his hand. “Don’t waste that on fucking pride” he squeezed into his palm. He shoved his other hand into his pocket and dug out his phone, scowling intently at the screen. 

Nico blinked at the sight of it. The same familiar industrial black, metal phone case, completely indestructible, wrapped around a screen in smithereens… “What did you do to that thing?!”.

“Nothing it shouldn’t have been able to handle…” Logan grumbled quietly, scowling at it harder. “There”. He held his phone out for the rock to hear. 

A very angry British man started loudly verbally abusing the rock, encouraged by even angrier, louder guitars and what might be drums. The rock stared back blankly, not impressed. 

Logan looked at the screen, puzzled. “Maybe I need to up the volume…?”.

At that threat, the rock caved, splitting in two perfect halves to open a stairwell. The stagnant air flowed out with a distasteful sigh.  

Logan unsheathed his sword and flicked on his Greek fire. “Well…” he shrugged, taking his first step down. 

Nico hurried after him, the rock already inching back to a close. He glanced over his shoulder, at the last glimpse of natural light, as the doors sealed their fate behind them. He took in the downward spiral ahead. The shape of the pitch black stones only hinted at by their shimmer in the green glow of the flames. 

After what had to be hundreds of steps, he lost count. After he lost faith they ever would, they ended, leading them down a narrow hallway. The darkness brightened to dusk when they made their way out from behind his father’s palace. The eerie green light emanating from the expansive windows casting down the walls of the obsidian fortress made Stabigail look like a mere green matchstick. 

Logan held her up so she could see better. “Damn…” he huffed in amazement. He turned to grin at Nico. “Is that your dad’s?”.

“Yep” Nico replied coolly. “Let’s keep moving” he urged, glancing at the bronze ‘beware of dog’ sign on the black metal fence.

Too late. A black, furry body the size of a temple rose to four legs like pillars. One head after the other turned their bright red eyes on them. They growled in chorus, then barked in canon. Cerberus bounded at them, landing in increasing magnitude. 

Nico pulled Logan behind him and stuck up a hand. “Down!” he ordered, pointing at the ground.

Cerberus slid to a halt in a small rockslide, raising six ears at the sound of his voice. He slowly sat down and lowered his heads to sniff him from all sides. One head let out a disapproving rumble when it found Logan. 

“No!” Nico scolded with a snap of his fingers, earning a short whine.

Cerberus laid down, staring at Nico guiltily.

Nico petted its middle nose. “Good boy” he praised.

Cerberus wagged his massive tail, creating a happy dustcloud behind him in the chilly, musty air. He panted wafts of sulphur over them. 

Nico sighed, letting go of Logan’s arm. Cerberus’ eyes narrowed as they carefully followed Logan’s every move stepping out from behind him.

Logan narrowed his eyes right back at him. “He probably senses I’m more of a feral cat person…” he muttered, grinning widely. 

Cerberus let out another rumble, baring some huge teeth.

“Stop antagonizing him” Nico warned. Both of them, honestly... He beckoned at the ground, willing up the largest bone he could find and shoving it in Logan’s free hand. “Here. Throw that as far as you can”.

Logan grinned wider, sheathing his sword with a determined sizzle. He reached the bone behind himself and swung it forward with a low swoosh. All of Cerberus’ heads snapped around to watch the bone fly over him. His nails drew small craters in the dirt in anticipation. 

“Fetch” Nico ordered as the bone bounced off the ground.

Cerberus skipped after it, pelting them with dirt and rocks. Two heads fought over the bone. The third snuck underneath and happily chomped down on it. They’d only made it a couple of steps before he dutifully returned it, dropping it at their feet. Repeating that pattern, they slowly made their way across the barren plain of dead grass.  

“So” Logan grunted, throwing the bone even further. “How are we going to get there?” he asked, shielding his face from the rocks and dirt.

Nico twisted his skull ring, not really sure. “I can't shadow travel us there… Not even anywhere near the river bank, actually. The fire is too bright and restless. The flickers of the current make the shadows too shifty. We’d get torn up…” he pondered.

“Hah. That whole shadow magic thing isn’t as much of a ‘skeleton key’ as I thought” Logan replied, bending down to pick up the bone. “Well, whatever. She probably crosses that river every day, right? There has to be a way” he threw back. 

Nico clicked his tongue. “Sure, but seeing as she’s a Goddess she probably just gets a first class boat ride to-!”. 

Logan cocked head in interest. 

Nico stopped and closed his eyes in pure dread. “Ugh, Charon…”. He walked on. “Follow me…”. 

They gave Cerberus some last pats on the nose and made a turn for a path slithering through the black, thorny disarray of a burned down forest. 

-

They found him soon enough. No surprise, as he never left his post. The dead glared and tutted as they skipped the infinite line stretched all along the riverbank of the Styx. Charon didn’t even look up from his scroll. His bony finger slid over the parchment, the rest of him hidden under a ragged cloak.

Nico stepped in front of him, finding an ashen, gaunt face under the pointed hood. Ghastly pale blue eyes narrowed, but refused to acknowledge him. He took a deep breath. “Charon, we need your help” he urged politely.

Charon rolled his eyes at his scroll, still not looking up. “Ugh. You seem to be confusing me with someone who cares. I don’t work for you” he mumbled apathetically.

Nico sucked in his lips, then tried again. “I… I know that, and I’m sorry, but I’m sure my father would agree-”.

Charon rolled his eyes harder. “Ugh! You’re seriously pulling the ‘Do you know who my dad is’ card? Pathetic” he mumbled in disgust. 

Logan snickered quietly.

Nico bit down on his knuckle to stop from screaming. Charon was so fucking impossible. “Fine” he groaned. He grabbed Logan’s arm with one hand, and the shadows with the other. 

He let them go as soon as they reached the palace. The middle of Persephone’s garden, to be precise. Oops. 

He stepped out of the now trampled flowerbed. His eyes quickly scanned over all the lush foliage around them, looking for dire consequences. The only movement he saw were the skeletal peacocks strutting and digging around the vegetables and flowers. Their dainty bones almost as stark white and elegant as their large tailfeathers.  

An offended shriek made him grit his teeth. A much taller figure emerged out of the grape vines, all the way on the other side. She held onto the large straw hat on her head, waving a sickle around as she ran after a peacock, a bag of seeds in its beak. It led her into a maze of berry bushes.

Nico breathed a sigh of relief, quietly thanking the bird for its death defying instincts. He pulled Logan along, onto the shell path to the front door. 

Two skeleton guards sprang to attention before they reached it, crossing their spears in front of the door. Nico dismissed them, all the way into a pile on the ground. He grabbed the doorhandle, then paused to look Logan over. 

Logan’s eyes darted from the doorhandle, to his face. He cocked his head with a smile, eyes burning with anticipation. No… Excitement…

“Don't be cute with my father” Nico warned sternly. 

Logan hissed. “Ooh, I can't help it. I'm naturally adorable” he said with the fakest apologetic smile Nico had ever seen. 

“I'm serious” Nico pleaded. 

Logan put his hand on his shoulder. “Hey, don't worry. It'll be fine. He's going to figure me out soon enough, anyway. I'm a terrible actor…”. His apologetic smile seemed a lot more genuine. 

Nico sighed. “Let's just get this over with. Try to be respectful!”. He opened the door and walked in. 

The familiar vaulted ceilings gazed down on them, through the countless empty eyesockets of the macabre chandelier, a carefully compositioned stack of skeletons locked into an intimate embrace, suspended from a spine. They held out their arms in all directions, cupping green flames, and lighting the main hall. 

The light complemented the dark green runner, leading the way across the intricate, deep red pomegranate fruits and flowers in the otherwise black mosaic on the floor. His stepmother’s latest attempt at homemaking, Nico presumed. 

The rug dulled the echoes of their steps as they walked into the hallway, past a collection of stuffed screech owls mounted on the wall. Nico avoided their intense ominous stare. From the corner of his eyes, he could have sworn they twisted their little necks all the way around to follow them. 

His eyes needed a second to adjust when he pushed open the door to the throne room. The flare of the huge green funeral pyre right in the middle of the floor was painfully bright. It hid everything, and everyone, behind it. A cat skeleton snoozed lazily in front of it while two rat skeletons scurried by. Nico took a deep breath before he walked around it. 

The tall, pale frame of his father came into view, clad in black robes. The heavy fabric cast down the steps in front of his throne made entirely out of bone and ivory. The backrest, a giant ribcage, almost embraced him. If Hades was surprised by their arrival, he didn’t show it. His demeanor statuesque and stoic, as he stared right at them. 

Nico gestured for Logan to stop, right behind him. He sucked in his lips, sticking up a hand in an awkward greeting.

Hades’ lips tightened ever so slightly, finally revealing the slightest hint of emotion. “I heard you’re going to Tartarus, despite my telling you not to go back there… And to go live a happy, peaceful life…” he complained, mild disappointment hidden under a stern tone. 

Nico smiled guiltily. “Yes… Well… Turns out I’m not really good at… That…” he stammered, glancing down at his feet. 

Hades clicked his tongue, then smiled in faint amusement. “I suppose the bane of disobedient children befalls even the Gods…” he sighed. He rested his temple on his hand and gestured at them. “Now, who is this you brought?”. 

Logan happily accepted the invitation and stepped forward. “I'm Logan, son of Ares, my lord. Your son's personal demon” Logan explained, he pulled Nico against his shoulder. 

Nico shoved him back in his place. 

“Well” Hades started stoically. “At least he's not Jackson…”. 

Logan smirked “Thank you for noticing, sir!”. 

Nico saw the corner of his father's mouth twitch ever so slightly. “Logan, shut up” he commanded. 

“Yes, dear” Logan responded dryly. 

Nico glared at him. 

Hades broke the tension, gesturing at the door. “Son of Ares. Leave me to speak to my son”. 

“Yessir!” Logan said cheerfully. He threw in a salute, his other hand shoved in his pocket. With one last devious smile, he strode out the door. 

Nico turned to his father. “Forgive him, he's probably got brain damage from all the punches to the head-” he tried. 

“I approve” Hades interrupted him calmly. 

Nico looked at him in disbelief. 

“That's the reason you brought him here, yes?” Hades inquired. 

“No, we're… Wait. You approve?” Nico stammered. 

Hades leaned back. “This is the young man who singlehandedly slayed Destructor, I believe? I quite enjoyed that story… Almost as much as Ate did. She even offered to show me the security footage. However, as she described the events that followed, that seemed a tad inappropriate”. 

Nico’s mouth fell open, the rest of his face on fire. Their first kiss had been caught? On camera? In the underworld?! Not just that. It was being shared.

His father smiled apologetically, with a strong undertone of schadenfreude. “That aside, he seems confident and… Decently polite.”. He looked at Nico intently. “More importantly, he seems to challenge you” he added with a faint, but genuine smile. 

“Tell me about it…” Nico muttered with annoyance. Truth be told, this mattered to him more than he would ever admit to either of them. “Alright, enough about that. We need your help with something”. Nico handed his father a small, empty scroll. 

-

Logan turned around as Nico walked out the door. “Got what we need?”. 

Nico held up the now no longer empty scroll. “I hope so” he said, handing it over. He watched Logan shove it into a small compartment of the backpack. “Despite your charm offensive back there, my father said he approves of you” Nico told him, trying not to let his excitement show. 

“Does he now? That's going to come in handy when I beg him for your hand in marriage in a couple of years” Logan teased. 

“Please, as if you'd ever beg for anything” Nico scoffed. 

Logan shrugged. “Not the first time I’ve gotten on my knees for you”. 

Nico tried his hardest to shake the memories out of his head before his face burned off. “Don't say stuff like that here!” he shouted. He pulled on one of Logan's earrings, just hard enough to serve as a warning. 

“Sorry, sorry” Logan laughed, putting his hands up in surrender. 

Nico let go. 

Logan's expression suddenly turned a lot more serious. “Would you like that? You know, to get married or something? At some point I mean… You never actually told me at the wedding…”. 

Nico shook his head slightly, caught off guard. “What?” he asked. 

“I was joking just now, but if you'd like to… We could. One day... Or get matching t-shirts that say ‘I'm with stupid’ or something. Probably important to talk about this stuff eventually…” 

Nico chuckled. He pulled Logan in by the hem of his shirt and kissed him. “You're so corny”. 

Logan gave him a lopsided smile “That's your fault though. I used to be really cool before I met you”. 

Logan waved at someone. 

Nico glanced over his shoulder. Hades was standing by the window, looking at them. One eyebrow raised and his arms crossed. He slowly took a sip from the goblet he was holding. 

Nico hastily shoved Logan off of him. “Father, please!”.

All recently deceased eyes followed them as they made their way past the line yet again. Charon’s eyes fell on them along his count of heads. He narrowed them in irritation. “Ugh… You again…”.

Nico sighed, just holding out the scroll for him. 

Charon swiped it out of his hand and ripped it open, skimming the text. His irritation flared into anger. “Ugh~! Are you serious?!”. He pinched the bridge of his nose and tossed the scroll over his shoulder. It landed in the ghastly water in a puff of smoke. He didn’t even bother opening his eyes as he addressed them. “Ugh! Fine! Toss a golden drachma into the fire once you reach it! And hurry it up!”. 

He muttered angrily to himself as he turned to the ever growing line in front of him. Nico only picked up the word ‘raise’. Charon sighed not once, but twice, then cupped his mouth. “Listen up, people! I know you’ve been waiting for ages, but my boss is abusing his position to make me take care of his personal matters! Don’t blame me! Blame these bozos!”. He gestured at Nico and Logan. 

A loud disgruntled groan moved down the entire line. Nico sucked in his lips, he elbowed Logan in the side to get him to stop snickering.  

-

To get to the very source of the Phlegethon, they needed to get to Tartarus. Nico twisted his ring as they walked through the murky meadow of the field of Asphodel, a shortcut to the gateway to the darkest pits of the underworld. He wasn’t looking forward to the rest of their journey. He’d been there a few times already, of course. And he’d survived. Barely. But Logan had no-!

Logan grabbed his hand and squeezed, forcing Nico’s fingers off of his ring. “Stick with me, bud. I need you here” he teased.

 “Yeah” Nico affirmed. Jokes aside, that was their strongest strategy.

The dead grass turned into rocky dirt, forming a narrow path through a series of caves. Not the cave he was looking for. Not yet. 

Logan let go of his hand to twist his ring. A small green flame grew big as he unsheathed his sword. Nico gestured for him to stay behind him as he took the lead into the darkness, tracing the rocky wall next to him with his fingers. 

The walls spread apart, then spread even more. Nico almost tripped when he stepped onto a bone. A human bone. It slid right into another, next to a skull. Ha… He slowly nudged it with his foot, rolling it to see from all sides. Deep scratches in all directions hinted at the sharp teeth that had torn away the flesh. 

A damp draft hit his face from above. He glanced up, at nothing but darkness. The green flames couldn’t reach the ceiling. No… His eyes narrowed, realizing his mistake before he did. There was movement above them. Writhing…

Logan stepped next to him and grabbed his shoulder, illuminating the true scale of the carnage. A pile of corpses in various stages of decomposition right in front of them. “Are you-?” he began to ask.

Nico quickly shoved his hand over Logan’s mouth. 

Too late. One after the other, eyes opened above them, reflecting the green light like a sickening starry night. The leathery sounds of wings spreading lasted a mere second before piercing shrieks echoed off the walls from all sides. 

Nico’s hands shot forward on instinct, reaching for the dead. Bones scrambled to assemble themselves, rotting flesh moved once more, all grasping for any weapon in reach. 

All at once, the Arai swept down. They darted through the darkness like a flock of bats, clawing the undead corpses apart at any given opening. Nico pulled them back together as fast as he could. Logan pulled him against his side, sword ahead. 

The wings of the Arai almost blew the Greek fire in their face with the force they needed to come to a halt. They shrieked in pain as they shielded their eyes from the bright light, then flung themselves back into the air.

The relief was short. They wouldn’t be able to keep that up. Not from all sides… Nico’s hands trembled at the weight of his army. He groaned as two more soldiers fell, hoisting them back to their feet. 

Logan let go of his arm, thrusting his sword forward in a green flash. He stabbed it right through the ribs of the closest undead…? 

Nico’s eyes widened as the corpse caught fire. It glanced down at the burning flesh of its hands in idle surprise. Right! Nico forced all arms outward. He squinted at the explosive flashover, forming a ring of green fire all around them. 

The shrieks turned panicked, frantic. The Arai flew into each other and the walls in their desperate attempt to get away from the flaming spears, swords and shields, only spreading the fire further. Their wings burned up in green cinders, dropping them to the floor. Dust and ashes mixed in the air as they perished.

The skeletons fell apart top to bottom, all bones scorched black. All green flames died. The draft returned, carrying the smell of burned flesh. Nico huffed weakly. He felt Logan’s arm slide around his waist before he could drop to his knees, and let him pull his arm over his shoulder. 

“I swear to the Gods, if you pick me up again…” Nico grumbled. To his annoyance his threat only yielded a chuckle. Maybe it would have helped if he hadn’t sounded so frail. 

“Yeah, yeah… You’re very strong and scary” Logan assured, moving him along to the side of the cave. 

Nico gratefully let himself get lowered down, resting his head against the rocky wall. It was still warm from the intense heat earlier. He almost missed the feeling of a near fiery death. The sweat he hadn’t felt earlier, was turning cold fast. 

He watched on by the dim light coming through the cracks and openings in the walls as Logan kicked some bones in a pile in front of him. 

Logan twisted his ring, green flames enveloped his hand. He ran it over one of the skulls at the top, almost like a macabre caress. It lit up, spreading the fire down the rest of the pile, emanating an eerie green glow around them. 

Nice. “Lame” Nico said flatly. 

“Damn, sounds like your pants are a little too tight today!” Logan complained. “C'mon, man! That's a mood!”. He seemed pretty pleased with himself. “Really thought you'd be into that…” he muttered, sitting down next to him. 

Nico looked away and grinned. “Alright, sure. Maybe a little”. He dropped his head on Logan’s shoulder, looking at the emerald flames dancing in the empty eye sockets in front of them. “Stabbing that dead guy was really smart” he admitted quietly. 

“I didn’t really think about it…”. Logan shrugged under his cheek. “You’re the one who thought of letting them spread it themselves. Now that was smart!”. He nudged Nico’s foot with his own. “You're probably the smartest guy I know” he said with audible pride. 

“Wow! I feel sorry for you. That’s terrible!” Nico replied with only half feigned horror. 

“Stop being mean to yourself, or there'll be consequences” Logan warned. 

“Sounds kinky” Nico taunted. 

“Okay, you asked for it” Logan sighed. 

Nico grinned to himself in anticipation. This should be fun. 

“You are a good person” Logan declared empathetically. 

Wait. Nico quickly pulled back from Logan’s shoulder and glared at him.

“You are worthy of love and respect” Logan continued, digging even deeper. 

No! Nico grimaced. 

Logan responded with a malicious smirk. “You are enough just the way you-” 

Nico firmly put his hand over Logan’s mouth, putting a stop to the torture. Logan kissed the palm of his hand. 

Nico pulled it back like he'd stabbed it. “Stop! You win!” he shouted desperately. He angrily dropped his head back onto his shoulder. 

Logan rubbed his cheek on his head, chuckling quietly.

-

Nico shot up, making Logan jolt next to him. Crap! How long had he been asleep?! They were only supposed to take a short break! They didn’t have time for-!

A warm hand pressed down on his shoulder. “Spooky! Chill!” Logan urged. “It was just a few hours. We’d have to sleep eventually anyway!”.

Nico sighed. Sure, but… “We have to stay focussed! We aren’t even in Tartarus yet!”. He didn’t wait for a reply, beckoning Logan to follow as he paced further down the cave. 

Green light hurried after him, with an exasperated sigh. It caught up with him, illuminating a scowl. The scowl turned into a reassuring smile when Nico’s eyes lingered on it. All reassurance turned mischievous as the smile grew.

Oh, no… 

“You know, I noticed something…” Logan started suspiciously carefully. “Your dad is actually pretty hot”. 

No! You! Fucking! Didn't! Nico stopped and turned to him slowly. The corner of his mouth twitched. He controlled himself as he drew in a deep breath. “Not as hot as yours” he countered. 

Logan's eyes dimmed instantly. The spirit of his grin shattered, leaving a horrified green hue hanging over it. He raised his shoulders slightly. “Okay. Let's never go there again” he said breathlessly. 

“Deal”. Nico quickly turned back and paced on. 

They kept up the brisk pace cave after cave, steadily making their way to where they actually needed to go. Just a bit more and they’d reach-!

The cave rumbled with the unsettling sound of rock scraping against rock, then roared as rocks no longer scraped, but crashed. Green fire clattered ahead of him down the cave and died. Nico turned around in a flash, right as Logan’s arms flew around his neck. The air got knocked out of him when Logan's body hit his, all muscles tense, bracing for the impact. Nico gripped onto him, shielding him as best he could. The darkness caught them as they fell in. 

His back finally hit the ground outside, under a shady overhang, now all the way down in Tartarus. Logan’s full weight landed right on top of him. Far away, but not nearly far enough, an entire mountainside collapsed and tumbled down with a thunderous crunch.

“You alright?” Nico heard himself wheeze through the chokehold. 

“Yep. I’m fine” Logan groaned. He let go and rolled off of him. “You?” he asked in return. 

Nico hadn't really considered it yet. “Yeah…” he breathed. 

Logan pushed himself up and stuck out a hand. He pulled Nico up alongside himself. Nico grimaced as he took in the state of him. One side of his nose was bleeding heavily. The impact had splattered blood over his cheek and collarbone. 

Logan let the blood run down his face for a few seconds. Then he sniffed and wiped over his mouth and cheek with the palm of his hand, leaving a faded red streak. Tiny flames burned in the back of his eyes. He looked excited, but uncharacteristically serious. Neither fit the bloody nose… “So, where to?” he asked. 

“You said you were fine!” Nico replied angrily. 

“We almost died” he defended. “This is more than fine” he said, gesturing over his face. 

Nico sighed. He hated that he had a point. “Right… We’re going west. We’re close to the delta now. It’s going to flow over into…”. 

Logan didn't seem to notice the blood running down his face. A drop fell off his chin and hit the ground, making Nico trail off. 

“Your, uh. Your nose is still bleeding…” Nico pointed out. 

Logan grabbed the bottom of his shirt and lifted it up to his face, pressing it around his nose. “Go on” he said, slightly muffled. 

Nico tried not to look down. There was no time for an ab break. Maybe just a second. He picked up where he left off right after. “The delta flows over into the Phlegethon. We follow it up north. All the way to the edge of Tartarus. That’s where Ate said it should be”.

Logan nodded. His serious expression fell when he looked down at his now empty hand. He slumped his shoulders, grieving Stabigail's untimely death. 

Nico chuckled, earning a half hidden scowl. He held up his hands in a peace offering, shrugging off his backpack. He’d known something like this was going to happen… Logan’s eyes followed his hands warily as he zipped the bag open, then widened in awe as Nico pulled out a brand new Xiphos. 

Nico held it out for him. “Behold…” he joked. “Stabigail the ninth”.

Logan let his shirt drop down to hold out his hands in surprise, eyes burning a with a warm amber fire, faded blood streak over his grin. “You know me so well~!” he mused, voice strained in excitement. He moved past Stabigail to pull Nico into a tight hug, rocking him from side to side.

Nico smirked, savouring the warmth before trying to wiggle free. 

Logan stole Stabigail out of his hand, then wagged her at Nico accusatorily. “Stabby” he insisted. He seemed to think for a second. “The tenth, actually…” he added carefully. 

Nico blinked at him. 

“Apple tree” Logan explained.

Right… Nico sucked in his lips. His smile returned when Logan kissed them anyway. They got back on their way over the even murkier, gloomier, rockier landscape.

-

The light of the Phlegethon had led them straight to it, even yards away it shone like a beacon. Its current reflected onto the jagged ceiling in heaving streaks of orange, mirroring its meander all across Tartarus. The whispers in the shadows turned shrill and panicked as they got near, cowering from the restless flickers. 

They followed the flowing flames over sharp obsidian pebbles, through breathtaking dustclouds, past bottomless caves. They had no choice but to avert their eyes as they walked, the river being too bright to look at for long. Nico glanced into yet another crevice in the rocks as the light passed over it. He stopped for a second, but couldn’t see anything anymore as the darkness reclaimed its territory. The time pressure pushed him on. 

He heard Logan shift sharply behind him, making him spin around. But not in time… 

A huge, writhing serpent tail coiled itself tightly around Logan’s entire upper body. Nico saw he had managed to get his fingers onto the handle of his sword, but that wouldn’t be of any use with his arm wrapped against himself… The Dracaena didn’t seem to want to take the risk anyway, sliding her tail over his hands and pressing them down. 

A mean giggle sounded from behind his back. The serpentine monstress slowly revealed her hideously beautiful face from behind his shoulder, smiling her needle-like teeth bare. Logan fixed his eyes on her when she rested her chin on his shoulder. He let out a laboured gasp, then gritted his teeth. 

Shit! Nico shifted to grab his sword. 

The Dracaena tightened her stranglehold further up around his neck, tilting Logan’s chin up. She tutted, slow and condescending. “No, no, no. You don’t want to do that” she warned. 

Nico froze, then slowly moved his hand away. 

“Good boy~!” she cooed. 

Nico sucked in his lips. This was bad… One wrong move and… 

She pouted her shiny green lips at him, examining him carefully. “That’s a fine sword you have there. Too fine for a half blood, don’t you think? How about a trade?” she suggested, caressing Logan’s cheek with the back of her finger. 

Logan swallowed. “Don’t-” he wheezed. 

She cut him off with another coil of her tail, squeezing hard enough to make him squint. The orange flames brightened anxiously between the slits of his eyelids. “Quiet, this doesn’t concern you…”. 

The slithery, raspy sound of the scales rubbing together was breathtaking. Nico almost instinctively reached for his sword again, but caught himself. Logan tried his best to smile reassuringly at him. It had the opposite effect. 

Nico tore his eyes off of him and forced them back on hers. Her pupils narrowed, piercing him. If he actually believed her, he would have given her his sword without a second thought. But it was obvious she just wanted to disarm him… 

“I’m getting impatient~” the serpent mused. She stabbed a jagged fingernail into Logan’s cheek and slowly tore it across, leaving a deep cut. 

Logan’s reassuring smile turned a lot toothier. Nico watched his fingers rap quickly against his thigh, not even able to pretend it didn’t hurt. Nico clenched his teeth when she slowly worked her forked tongue along the wound, lapping up the blood. 

You. Dirty. Fucking. Worm! 

“How much is your friend worth to you~?”. 

Nico couldn’t hold himself back. “I'll show you!”. 

The shadows shot towards his hand. They concentrated, darker than black. In not even a second they fired back out, in a long sharp lance. It cut off her shriek as it entered her maw, skewering the back of her throat. She writhed and slithered, then blew away in the draft. 

Logan hit the ground with a heavy, dusty thud. He shoved his hand onto the floor and pushed himself onto his back. Nico knelt down and lifted his head onto his lap. Logan grinned widely through the weak coughs he pushed out. He opened his mouth to say something, something that couldn’t possibly be worth the effort. 

“Don’t talk” Nico ordered. 

Logan nodded, wheezing. 

Nico stared down into his eyes. The pleased looking smoulder helped him calm his nerves. He sighed at the cut, blood slowly seeping down the side of his face. His fingers hesitated to touch it. The Dracaena’s repulsive expression around her forked tongue flashing behind his eyes almost made him bite his own. Yeah… No way we’re keeping that one… The shadows slowly crept in again, right under his fingers as he gently pressed them over the wound. He wiped away the blood, only a faint hint left of the cut left underneath. 

Logan laughed coarsely between wheezes. “Damn. All of that because she called me your friend? I've never heard you that pissed before” he teased weakly. 

Nico raised an eyebrow at him. “Well, not just that!... She also licked you” he replied sarcastically. “No. Seriously. How badly hurt are you?”. 

Logan’s grin died down. He looked past Nico, actually considering it. 

That was all Nico needed to know. “Let's take a break”. 

Logan’s eyes fixed back onto his. “We don’t have time”. He slowly shook his head and shifted. A laboured swallow drew attention to the red abrasion streaked all the way across his neck. 

“A short one” Nico urged, sliding his hand under Logan’s chin. 

Logan settled back down. “Yeah, okay. Guess I don’t have a choice anyway… I’m no match for you right now”. He ran a finger over where the cut used to be, inspecting the result. His eyes glowed with admiration. “Why do I even bother teaching you anything about swordfighting… You're never going to use it”. His complaint lacked any bitterness. 

“Would have come in handy back in Russia” Nico countered. 

“You won that fight…” Logan complained again. 

Ah, there was the bitterness… Nico chuckled quietly. 

After just a few minutes Nico wasn’t able to keep Logan down anymore. He pulled himself free and onto his feet. Nico scanned him carefully, trying not to pout. Logan looked back defiantly. Nico stopped trying not to pout. 

Logan grabbed his chin. “Thank you” he said softly, quickly pressing a kiss onto his lips. 

-

Tired and sore, they reached the source of the hellish stream of fire. On the other side, the chateau looked back at them, the pointed arches above the tall facetted windows and doors raised in petrified surprise. The gothic architecture suited the biblical scenery around it perfectly.

They caught their breath for a moment. Their eyes met, both looking for confirmation. Nico sighed as he held up the golden drachma between his fingers, then flicked it into the flames.

The flames rippled as it went under. The ripples grew higher, flowed faster. The bow of the ferry surfaced with a violent, fiery splash. Embers spouted into the air. The bottom of the boat almost crushed them as it hit the bank, forcing them apart. 

Charon glared at them from the middle of the deck, arms crossed. “Ugh. Get in already” he mumbled impatiently. 

Logan smirked. Nico sucked in his lips. They did as they were told. 

Charon didn’t even wait for them to sit down before turning around and sticking his oar into the flames. He let his head fall back into his dark hood and let out a wallowing groan so long and annoyed even a teenager would be impressed. He pushed them halfway onto the river in one stroke, letting the ferry come to a halt. He took a deep breath, leaned further back and groaned even more wallowy, all the way to the other bank. 

Logan bent down, snickering less and less quietly. 

Nico jabbed him in the shoulder as a warning. “Thank you so much for your help” he threw at Charon, disembarking even quicker.

“Uuugh! Whatever!” Charon mumbled angrily, wringing his oar. 

“We'll be back in a bit…” Nico assured. “We hope…”. 

There were no ‘ughs’ this time, but Charon’s expression made it clear he really didn't hope the same. 

They walked up to the front door. Nico hastily checked the time. Two minutes before midnight. Guess they stretched the deadline as far as they could… 

“Ready to give your life in the name of love?” Logan asked with clearly exaggerated excitement. 

Nico sucked in his lips. Logan looked at him expectantly. Nico got lost in the sincerity in his eyes. There was so much he wanted to say. Way too much. He couldn’t put any of it into actual words. Not without crying. “Yeah… Let’s just get this over with…” he pushed out, trying not to sound too affected. He grasped at the key, turning it with a loud click. 

Logan pouted. “Really?! Are those going to be the last words you say to me?” he complained. 

Nico pouted back at him. He leaned in for a peace offering. Logan accepted it with his usual warmth. He smiled, clearly happy enough. 

Nico wasn’t. “I know it's selfish, but… If we do die… I’m really glad we get to die at the same time… Then, at least I don’t have to miss you…” he declared softly. 

Logan’s face flushed. His eyes smouldered with a mix of emotions. For a second it looked like the emotions would spill out. He bumped his forehead against Nico’s. It hurt a little. Perfect. “Shit! I fucking love you, man. I’d die for that any day…” he declared. The heavy emotion in his tone made up for the deeply poetic language. 

Nico leaned against him. “I love you too” he let out in a strained chuckle. He sealed the statement with another kiss. 

They pulled apart and took a deep breath. Logan nodded. Nico shoved the door open. They turned to see what, or more likely who, was waiting for them inside. 

The ‘who’ in question did seem to have been waiting. Very patiently, at that. A large stained glass window backlit a tall, thin figure. Her long black dress spilled over the ground. She stood, arms crossed, in the midst of a high, spacious room, flanked by long black marble pillars. Drippy, lit candles melted together in all corners, almost burned out. 

“Welcome!” a smooth, dark voice offered. 

As Nico’s eyes got used to the surprisingly bright light, he could finally discern her features. Based on the evil, yet amused smirk in her jet black lipstick she was genuinely happy to see them. 

“Come to me” she beckoned with an elegant clawlike hand. 

They looked at each other, and did, stopping a few feet away from her. Staying just out of reach… 

Her irises were dark red and threatening. She kept them at bay by narrowing her heavily darkened eyelids around them. Both parties took in the sight of each other carefully. Nico swallowed. She was as beautiful as she was daunting, like a vanitas painted by a true master. She was clearly not nearly as impressed by them. A faint scowl took over her sharp features. One of her hands casually gripped a goblet. A few drops of bright golden liquid sloshed over its side as she tapped it impatiently and indelicately. Was she… Drunk…? 

“You took your time…” she sighed in displeasure. 

Nico heard Logan take a breath, ready to speak. He straightened his shoulders and readied himself for imminent death. Eris put up both hands apologetically, willing him to stay quiet. To Nico’s surprise, he actually did. 

She broke the silence. “I don’t blame either of you, of course…” she reassured. She downed her goblet, then took a bottle and poured in some more. Her eyes darted from the bottle to each of them. “Would you like some?” she asked. 

Nico blinked at her. Logan didn’t make a sound either. 

She straightened up. “Well? It is ξενία…” she grumbled. 

Right… Xenia… The ancient Greek rules of hospitality… “Yes, thank you” Nico relented quickly, not giving Logan a chance to kill them with a sudden urge of rebellion against cultural norms. 

Eris grinned, happily filling two other goblets on a golden platter and passing them over. As tradition, Logan downed his drink in one go… Nico glared at him, then shook his head. Oh, what the hell…  Pretty sure they’d be dead soon… He did the same. Energy radiated from every single one of his pores as the nectar flowed through his body. 

Eris giggled like nails on a chalkboard. “Now that!... That, I can appreciate!” she mused before quickly pouring the contents of her own goblet down her mouth and filling it up once again. 

She draped herself on the leather chaise lounge behind her dramatically. Her long black hair gleamed in the light as it swung after her. “No, my sweet boys…” she sighed deeply “I don’t blame you for any of this… After all, none of it has anything to do with you at all... You see… Me and our fair lady, it has just been a while since we talked… We spent some intense quality time together, she promised she would write to me, visit me… None of that… It’s been centuries! I couldn't help but act out a little… Just for a crumb of attention…” she pressed her finely manicured black fingernail into her cheek with a coy expression. 

Nico and Logan side-eyed each other. Of course. Petty bullshit again. 

Eris rolled onto her back looking wistfully at the ceiling, her hand on her forehead. She continued, mostly talking to herself at this point. “Her arrogance is insufferable. Just think about it. When in history has love ever managed to overcome strife? Never! Only in fictional sob stories! Only in the mind of infants and imbeciles! So why does she think she's too good for me?! She keeps doing this to me! Time and time again! And I keep letting her! No longer! It was high time I put her in her place!”. She threw her goblet right between their faces. It shattered against the floor behind them. 

She got up and strode towards them in one smooth movement. “Now you two… I got so lucky with you! Truly a recipe for disaster. I'm glad you're here. I'm kind of a ‘fan’, you might say. The amount of strife you two managed to conjure up all on your own!” she curled up her fingers and kissed them. “Magnifique, as that tramp would say…” She draped her arms around their necks, pulling all three of their heads together in an awkward embrace. 

“That was… Until the two of you ruined it, of course…” she said with disdain, shaking her head slowly. “I assume that's why she wanted to send you in the first place… To rub it in my face…”. She shoved them back hard and turned away from them. “But that harlot underestimated me yet again… I know what lurks inside you two… I've seen it… I've felt it”. 

She turned to Nico, running a finger over his cheek. “You... I respect you… They say all is fair in love and war, but…”. She let out a low whistle. “Colour me impressed. I never even dreamed to hope for that! What you did was exceptionally cruel!”. Her nail dug into his face as she finished. 

Nico almost didn't feel it through the overwhelming nausea. He knew exactly what she was getting at. 

“And you… You agree with me don't you?”. She gave Logan's cheek a firm slap. 

He didn't react. Even if Logan didn't agree, Nico did. 

She turned up her hand, a small flame erupted into an envelope. Some embers flew off of it. Nico's stomach churned. He'd recognize that envelope, his messy handwriting,  anywhere… It had haunted his dreams countless times… 

“I burned that…” Logan said breathlessly. He turned to Nico. “I burned that!” he reiterated desperately. 

Nico couldn't meet his eyes. He wouldn’t have had the chance anyway. 

Eris cupped Logan’s cheek and turned him back to her. “Oh, yes. You did. And you were so angry when you did… For a second there, there was some genuine! Undeniable! Pure! Hatred… Absolutely beautiful” Eris mused, reveling in every word. 

Nico’s stomach twisted further. He knew it… A wave of bloodlust washed away all of his misery and guilt, Logan’s voice drowned out all of his thoughts. “That’s a filthy fucking lie! Sure! I was angry! Real angry! But I know what real hate feels like! And I've never hated him! Not even for a second!”. Relief felt like a deep breath. 

Eris tutted disapprovingly. Nico glared at her, trying to drown her in the remaining bloodlust with his eyes. 

She seemed happy to have his attention. Her disgust turned to glee as she made a show of running the edge of the paper over her lips. “Well, hatred… All consuming rage… What difference does it make? None to me” she cooed, narrowing her eyes at Nico. 

He had to swallow away a gag at the sight of her smile next to the envelope. 

Her eyes moved over to Logan. “Truth be told, normally I only accept the finest foods and wines… But, this… This is one of the nicest, most heartfelt sacrifices I've ever received”. 

Another wave of bloodlust washed over. “That had nothing to do with you!” Logan yelled. 

“Oh, my dear boy~! You are so wrong about that. What happened there had everything to do with me. Conflict! That is what I am all about~!” she almost sang, rocking herself side to side. 

“So, we fucked up! We got a bit too into our feelings and did some shit we regret. So, what?!” he heard Logan shout. He almost couldn't hear him. His heartbeat pounded over everything. Logan calmed down, putting his hand on Nico's back. It snapped him back to reality. “We're past that…” Logan said quietly. 

Nico looked him in the eyes. Despite his pained expression they glowed their familiar warmth.

“So, you forgive him?” Eris asked flatly. 

Nico saw Logan's eyes flash to her. Crap… He couldn't breathe. 

Logan’s eyes returned to his, he seemed a little flustered. “Yeah… I do” he revealed. 

Nico released the tension from his shoulders. They were past all that. He knew that. So why didn't he know that, until just now…? Did Logan hesitate? Even if he did… He was in no position to be upset about that. 

“Really? Are you sure about that? These are things you cannot just take back, you know?... More importantly, are you willing to risk your life to prove your outrageous claim?” Eris asked menacingly. She clasped her hands together gleefully. Her grin like that of a serial killer. “I tell you what. If you can overcome me, not only will I let you go, I’ll give you my word that I will never meddle with you or the skank again!”. Her joy turned even darker. “If you don't, not only will I take your lives, I will make sure you do it for me…”. 

Nico looked at Logan. No expression, but clearly tense. They'd managed to overcome lots of things in their short but complicated relationship… From something close to hatred to something he didn't doubt had to be love. But still… Nico's fatal flaw was holding grudges… And there was no way Logan's wasn’t recklessness. Neither seemed very promising when facing strife itself… If he'd harm Logan he wasn't sure he could live with himself… If he did worse… he was sure he couldn't… He felt like he was about to throw up. 

Logan gave him a reassuring smile. “This actually sounds like a pretty fair shot, compared to what we expected… So, what do you say? You ready to put our relationship to the test?” he asked. There was some jest in his tone, but Nico could tell he had his own doubts. 

“I trust you” Nico started “It's me I'm worried about”. 

Logan's eyes glowed like embers. “Good. Same for me. Guess that means we both just have to trust each other's trust right?”. All doubt had gone from his voice. 

Nico smiled. He was such a dumbass... The absolute sweetest dumbass… He nodded. 

“How adorable! You think you can withstand me?” she sneered. 

With a single snap of her fingers, their eyes stabbed into each other’s. Nico could feel the ravenous bloodlust sweep over his mind, more intense than ever before. He let the murky all-consuming mist of death and dread fight back for him. 

Ghosts of bruises haunted his body, aching worse than they ever had in the flesh. Each one a memory he'd inexplicably forgotten. A painful swallow rolled down his throat. He moved on instinct to fight the invisible vice grip on it. His wrist cried out with an agonizing memory of its own, forcing itself back down. 

Unbridled rage spread over the deepest pits of despair within him. The resulting combustion clouded his mind with the thick, revolting fumes of their worst memories together. Every time Logan hadn’t even tried to understand him. Every time Nico couldn’t possibly understand him. 

He unsheathed his sword, casting everything in an angry purple glow. He saw Logan do the same, countering with eerie green flickers of his own. All of his senses overflowed with contempt, rage and disgust. 

The shadows drew in towards Nico. Pitch darkness swallowed everything around them, leaving them nothing but the ghastly emerald and raging amethyst hue around their faces. With nowhere else to go, their eyes stabbed even deeper. One set of diabolical infernos sunk into two pools of pure black abyss. 

This was it. 

This was the end. 

Eris clapped her hands happily, walking closer to admire her work. “I love this part~” she murmured blissfully. 

Nico slowly lifted his left hand, Logan his right. Their fingers locked together. The grip was painful, agonizing. Nico gripped his sword tightly in his other hand, ready to stab it right through him. Logan seemed to have the exact same in mind. 

Without a word they plunged their swords into Eris’ chest. She choked loudly as they ripped them back out. She fell to her knees, grasping at her chest. She managed to subdue the green flames. 

“Dis- gus- ting-!” she gasped. 

They let go of each other’s hand. Nico gripped the back of Logan’s neck tightly, in turn he grabbed Nico’s lower back. Their lips met, uncontrolled and rough. 

“Absolutely disgusting~!” Eris bellowed. Tears ran down her face, leaving long black trails as they mixed with her previously immaculate make-up. 

Joke's on her. This was their whole dynamic. He had to give it to her, she'd almost had them… This was by far the closest they'd come to killing each other till now, but they'd had lots of practice. 

Nico smiled against Logan. He felt him smile back. 

They broke apart and looked at her. Her blood red eyes were spread as wide as she managed. She smacked the floor, cracking the thick, marble floor like an eggshell. Her eyes narrowed, still flowing with tears, as she pulled on her hair. The rage in her shriek ran so deep, it felt nothing short of apocalyptic. 

The door opened. A stunningly beautiful, completely naked woman stood in the entrance. In the darkness all around them she radiated light and hope. “Is that truly how you feel?” she asked. Her tone stern, but filled with emotion. 

Nico and Logan quickly averted their gaze. 

Eris folded her arms onto the ground and laid her face down on them. 

Aphrodite pushed them aside with a small flick of two fingers. She came to a halt in front of Eris, folding her arms and sticking out a hip. “You bring shame to both of us with your behaviour” she scolded. 

Eris sat up quickly, running her hands over Aphrodite's leg with a desperate, painful look. 

Aphrodite sighed deeply. She knelt down and cupped Eris’ chin in her hand. She didn't even turn to look at them as she addressed them. “You two, leave. You're no longer needed”. 

They didn't need to be told twice. Both sped through the door, pulling it shut behind them. They rested their backs against it. 

“What the fuck…” Logan let out. 

Nico hummed in agreement. What happened in there was clearly intimate. It almost felt wrong to be a witness to it. The Gods were such a mess… He thought back to how they managed to get sucked into all of this. He turned to Logan. “Next time I'm telling Chiron to fuck off…”. 

Logan's reply got interrupted by a loud, delighted squeal from behind the door. They grimaced and ripped themselves away from it. from all of it. Nico grabbed Logan's hand and pulled him along, practically running at this point.

They found Charon moping in his boat, one hand under his chin, the other stirring through a bag of golden drachma. His eyes shot up. “...Ugh” he sighed, as soon as he noticed them. His hand impatiently gestured at them. 

They impatiently complied.

Nico’s hand found Logan’s, still sore from the grip he’d had on it earlier. His thumb gently ran down over the back of his hand, rewarded with a gentle squeeze.

Charon pushed them off the bank without so much as a glance back, muttering about raises under his breath the whole way back. Many ‘ughs’ later they reached the other side. 

Nico decided not to bother with goodbyes or thank yous this time. He tightened his grip on Logan’s hand and pulled him up, over the side of the boat, and onto the path between the jagged rockformations, where soon enough not even the light from the Phledgethon could reach. Tears of relief washed away in the stream of whispers. He couldn’t even hear them over the sound of his heart. 

------

Thank you for reading :) All 24 chapters are out on AO3, if you feel like reading more. Do make sure to read the tags and warnings to see if it’s what you’re in for (!): Strife - Chapter 1 - CryingCircusConductor - Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan [Archive of Our Own]

[cryingcircusconductor]

[PJO] Strife: XX. Haunted by the memory

All warnings are spoilers: Discussion of suicide (!), attempted vehicular manslaughter, ghost, crying.

--------

By lunchtime, their visit was practically already on its way out. Logan seemed a little worried about that fact, probably on account of the mysterious missing McGuffin.

His grandfather watched him rap his fingers on the table. “Are you going to visit your mother's grave on the way back?” he asked. 

Logan's expression softened a bit. “Yeah, I think so…”. 

Mr. Venema smiled faintly. “Do you want to bring anything?”. 

Logan shrugged. “Not like she's going to appreciate it anyway”. 

Mr. Venema turned stoic again. “I suppose. But, you might”. 

Logan sighed. “I dunno. I don’t have anything on me”. 

Mr. Venema sprung into action true to form, getting up slowly and sauntering to a cabinet. He went over the labels of several bottles of wine until he found what he was looking for. “Here” he muttered, handing it over. 

Logan gave him a puzzled look. “Her favourite wine?” he asked, a little amused. 

“It's an ancient Greek tradition, right?” Mr. Venema asked in return. 

Logan grinned. “Yeah, thanks”. 

Mr. Venema patted him on the shoulder, just a little harder than you'd want.

Logan didn't seem to mind. He turned his attention to his grandmother. “Have you seen my old bracelet anywhere? I can't find it”. 

Nico blinked. Bracelet…? So that’s what they were after? 

Ms. Venema turned around, cradling her teapot. “I haven't seen it”. Her expression turned worried. “Are you sure you brought it with you…? I haven't seen you wear it since…”. 

Logan sighed. “Ah” he let out. “Yeah, I was afraid so… It's probably still at home…”. His fingers rapping on the table filled the silence. “I'll pick it up on the way back” he added flatly. 

Nico looked at him. That wasn't part of the plan… And kind of a big deal… Not something to throw in so casually. “You sure?” he asked. 

Logan half smiled in response. “Gotta go there at some point. Don't think I'm ever going to be more ready than I am now…” he reasoned. 

“Sentimental bracelet?” Nico asked, gauging just how inevitable this whole sidequest was going to be exactly. 

Logan smiled fully now. “Yeah…” he muttered in a drawn out exhale. 

I was afraid so…

“You don't have to come with” Logan reassured him. 

“Uhuh” Nico replied, unimpressed. “Fat chance. I'm not missing out on your mental breakdown. You'll have way too much fun without me”. 

They grinned at each other. 

Ms. Venema smiled, worried, but bright nonetheless. She plopped the teapot down on the table. “Tea time!” she chimed. She put her hands in her sides and looked at it with pride. 

-

Mr. Venema saved Nico from getting crushed to death, wedging Ms. Venema off of him with a strategic attempt at a handshake. “Nice meeting you, son”.

“Thank you, sir” Nico replied politely, gratefully shaking his hand. “It was great meeting you too”. He gave Logan a proud look and got in, buckling up. 

Logan grinned mischievously. 

Oh no… 

Logan locked the doors. 

Oh no! 

Logan turned to his grandfather. “By the way, since you mentioned the age gap yesterday… Before it becomes a whole thing. He’s ten years older than you” he chimed, rolling up the window. 

Mr. Venema’s stoic expression cracked. Ms. Venema’s happy smile turned to stone as she quickly grabbed onto Mr. Venema's shoulder. 

Logan snickered to himself as he shoved his foot on the gas, jerking the car into motion and sending them off quickly. 

Nico didn’t dare to look back. He stared at Logan in disbelief. “Why the fuck would you-?”. 

Logan cut him off. “Calm down! They’ll be over it by next Christmas” he soothed, still grinning. 

Nico turned his stare into a glare. 

Logan cocked his head a little, eyes still on the road. “Look, I’m terrible at keeping secrets. You know that. Better to throw it at them on the way out than if I’d have let it slip during dinner or something… Right?”. 

Nico felt the corner of his eye twitch. “No!”. He leaned his head back against his seat. “Yeah, alright… But, still!”. He crossed his arms and sighed.  

Logan shook his head, grinning wider. “They’ve had worse”. The devious chuckle ruined any chance of a reassuring tone. “At least I’m not pregnant”. 

Nico snorted. “You should have told them that just now. Might have taken the edge off…”. He crossed his arms tighter to hold onto the anger when he felt it try to slip away. 

-

A winged woman swept down on the road ahead of them. She raised a huge, sharp talon at them out from under her blood soaked robes. In seconds, they were getting so close Nico could make out each individual razorlike tooth in the Keres’ menacing grin. He braced himself. Brake! 

Logan let out a maniacal laugh and sped up as fast as he could, making the engine roar. He stuck his lower arm against Nico's chest, holding him in place. 

Nico's breath got stuck, painfully high. 

The Keres’ grin turned into a shriek. She wrapped her wings around herself and dove to the side right before impact, seemingly forgetting she could fly. 

Logan groaned in annoyance, ripping his arm away and hitting the steering wheel with his fist. The car swore with a loud beep. Nico glanced at him in disbelief, trying to catch his breath. His heart beat against the back of his throat. Logan looked genuinely let down, almost pouting. 

“Huh…” Nico let out shakily. Then he got angry. “What the fuck!” he shouted. “Just who are you trying to kill here?!”. 

Logan's hand shot up. “Don't worry! This thing's sturdy”. He slapped the ancient dashboard. “She knows that too, otherwise she wouldn't have jumped!”. 

Nico shoved his hands in his face and sighed. “I think Eris is getting impatient…”. 

“I know…” Logan grumbled. “We’ll get to it” he said a little more assuringly. 

-

Nico got an eerie feeling before they even got out of the car. Probably the nerves, he decided. He wasn't very excited to see what this was going to do to Logan. Logan seemed to be playing it cool so far, though. 

They walked up to the door. It had been padlocked shut, bolted onto the door crudely right above the splintered wood around the original lock. 

“Right… The cops” Logan remembered out loud. “Let’s use the back door”. He let go of the key between his fingers in favor of another one. 

The back door was a little bit too accessible, opening and closing slightly in the breeze. The calm, rhythmic creaking almost sounded like breathing… The window had been smashed in at the corner, presumably to get access to the lock. 

“Guess we won't be needing these” Logan said, shoving the keys back into his pocket. 

The door blew fully open as he reached for it, inviting him in with a loud bang against the wall. An empty hallway greeted them. Logan seemed to hesitate. Nico decided to go in first, in an attempt to ease the tension. 

As soon as he passed the door he was sure. There was definitely something brewing here… Should he tell Logan? Maybe they could get out of here before anything happened. He decided to ignore it. “Do you think it's upstairs?” he asked. 

“Yeah, I have an idea where it should be” Logan responded. He sounded far away. Not quite indifferent, but closed off. 

Nico paused at the doorway to the living room. There was a huge sloppy pentagram spray-painted on the floor. Laying in the centre was a lone picture frame. A collection of pitiful, burned up candles decorated the edges. The furniture and some trash strewn about. Crap! “Uh…” he let out. He turned around, but before he could even attempt to stop Logan he'd already caught up with him. Nico stuck his arm out and grabbed Logan's arm in a reflex. 

Logan raised an eyebrow. He glanced over Nico's shoulder at the mess on the living room floor and snorted. “I hope it worked and she kicked their asses”. He gestured at the stairs. “C'mon”. 

Nico felt whatever it was trying to get closer. He wondered if Logan felt the uneasy atmosphere. No doubt, but he probably felt uneasy enough on his own... He followed him up the stairs. Nico noticed that whatever it was, was not a what, it was a who. A very, very restless who. He had a pretty good idea who it might be too… 

He should have known. This is bad. This is going to be so bad. 

They walked into a room, Logan's he assumed. Another broken window. A crack split it all the way through, leaving a large hole in the middle. Leaves had blown in and spread themselves around on the floor. 

“Logan…”. Nico swallowed. “I think your… I think Curtis is here” he stammered. 

The temperature dropped. The leaves stirred. Nico felt his ears pick up on something almost audible. Logan stopped. He barely even looked at Nico. 

“He seems upset. I think he's trying to make contact with you” Nico pushed on. 

Logan turned his attention to a beat up looking dresser and opened a drawer, grabbing something out of it. “He can go ahead and fuck right off into the afterlife. There's nothing to talk about” he answered coldly. Nico thought he heard his voice tremble a little. 

A small guitar in the corner of the room fell over, hitting the floor with a strumming sound. They turned around. 

All coldness in Logan's attitude burned away in a flash fire. “Okay, you asshole! Spit it out!”. 

The temperature dropped further. Nico heard whispers shout all around him. After one last look at the flames in Logan’s eyes, he conjured Curtis out of the shadows. 

A clean-cut, anguished looking man stared at them from the corner. His transparent, almost glowing form standing in the small guitar. “Logan…” he started, his voice low and hollow. “I didn't think you'd come back here…”. 

Nico heard Logan take a raspy breath. The expression in his eyes was almost as nervous as it was angry. Then the familiar flames took over. His voice cracked as he shouted. “You're lucky you're already dead, Curt!”. 

Curtis didn't react in the slightest. He'd probably expected this reaction. “I know you don't want to see me. You probably don't want to hear what I have to say… But, I owe you an explanation”. 

This set Logan off again. “How could you possibly explain what you did?!” he yelled at the top of his lungs. “There is no fucking reason why anyone would do what you did!”. 

Nico recoiled at the sudden loudness of Logan's voice. He felt his heart racing. Logan was obviously losing control. He debated casting Curtis off again, but that didn't seem right either. 

Curtis spoke, calmly. “You're right. There is no excuse for it. I'm not trying to defend what I did. I just want to say that none of it was you or your mother's fault”. 

Logan picked up a photo frame from the dresser and threw it through Curtis. It shattered against the wall. “Don't you fucking dare tell me this isn't my fault, or mom's. Like I don't fucking know that!”. Nico could see his hands were trembling. “Why'd you have that gun on you?”. 

This seemed to get a reaction. Curtis looked through them as if they were as transparent as he was. He stayed silent for a while. When he spoke he sounded even more hollow than before. “The mission I went on… I did something terrible. Because I was told to. I knew it was wrong. But in the heat of the moment… I did it anyway. When I came back, I couldn't cope with the world anymore”. He bowed his head a notch. His image seemed to fade a little. 

“Everything  was so frustratingly normal. But I wasn't anymore. I didn't fit in anymore. It ate at me. I started taking that out on you and your mother. I hated who I turned into… I couldn't live with myself anymore”. The temperature in the room dropped further as he continued. 

“That night. With that gun. I was going to end my life”. 

One of Logan's fingers twitched. He seemed to be holding his breath. 

“I never meant for this to happen. What I did to your mother… To you. I wish I had put a stop to myself earlier” he almost whispered. “I'm not asking for forgiveness. But I want you to know that I am so, so sorry for what I did. I will be for eternity. And I deserve that”. 

Logan didn't say anything. He just stared at Curtis, or at the wall behind him, arms crossed. The silence was deafening. 

“How have you been?” Curtis asked. 

Logan's fingers dug into his arms. “Bad” he said bitterly. Curtis nodded and looked down, sorrow emanating from him. “But I'm getting better” Logan continued. “I'm getting help. I'm not going to make the same mistake you did” he spat. 

Curtis looked up at him. His expression hopeful. “Good!” He said “I'm proud-”. He stopped himself. 

Logan looked at him with nothing other than hurt and contempt in his eyes. He took a deep breath. “I don't want you around anymore, Curt. You being here makes everything worse. You need to let go”. 

Curtis looked miserable. “If I could do that for you, I would”. 

Nico almost jolted. Finally! He could actually do something! He stepped forward. “You can. With my help. I’ll release your spirit so you can cross over to the underworld”. 

They both looked at Logan. He put his hands in his pockets without a word. 

Curtis nodded at Nico. “Thank you”. He looked at Logan. “Logan, I want you to know that despite everything…”. He stopped in the middle of his sentence, he looked heartbroken. “If you want me to stop thinking of you as my son, I will”. 

Nico thought he'd seen Logan shook before, apparently he was wrong. It only lasted a second. With a hard swallow he looked away, back to indifferent aside from a noticeable shiver. Nico met his eyes, all fire gone. A flash of a painfully pleading look went through them. 

Yeah. Got it. Nico held out his hand. “Stay still” he instructed. He looked Curtis in the eye and sent him on his way. 

The light shifted as the shadows moved in. Curtis lit up and then vanished. The leaves on the ground stirred. The temperature rose, instantly melting the frost that had formed on the broken window. 

Logan immediately lost his composure. “Dumb piece of shit!” he yelled at the empty floor. He turned away and kicked the dresser, making it explode into large, jagged pieces. He panted, his breath hitched, and wiped his eyes with his lower arm. 

Nico walked up to him and put his arms around him, pressing himself against Logan's back. Logan shuddered as he did. Nico rested his forehead against the back of his head. Nico felt him swallow. A few droplets fell on Nico's arms. 

“Don't hold it in…” he pleaded. 

Logan leaned his head back against Nico’s forehead. 

Feeling him sob against him was gutwrenching, but not nearly as painful as hearing it. The quiet little sounds drowned out everything else. Nico endured them, just holding onto him. It was unbearably hard, but at the same time it was the easiest thing he’d ever done. In fact, he probably couldn’t even have stopped himself if he wanted to. Eventually, the sobs turned into deep, sorrowful breaths. 

“How are you?” Nico asked carefully. It was a stupid question seeing everything that just went down, but he didn't really have any better equipment at hand. 

“Dunno…” Logan said quietly. “Empty…?” he suggested. 

“Is there anything I can do…?” Nico asked, sticking with his repertoire of pointless questions. 

“Even more? Hah. No, I honestly don't think so” Logan said more firmly. He shifted, seemingly trying to break free from Nico's grasp. He let him go. “Thank you for getting rid of him” he added, wiping at his face one last time. He turned to look at Nico. 

He looked absolutely beat. It didn't suit him. It reminded him of the way he'd looked that night on the balcony... 

Nico did his best to hide how flustered he was by the situation. He'd been dreading seeing how Logan would react to being here, but it turned out so much worse than he'd thought. He'd known coming here was going to be very hard, but he hadn't expected it to turn into a literal confrontation with the actions of his stepfather. He probably should have though… He knows how restless spirits can be, and after what happened here… 

“I got it. Let's just get out of here” Logan almost pleaded. 

Nico nodded and walked out the door. He waited when he heard Logan stop. Logan stood still in the doorway, he looked back at his old room. He lingered at the small guitar in the corner, still on the floor. He seemed to hesitate, then quickly went back in and grabbed it. He walked past Nico on his way to the stairs. His steps sounded angry as he stomped down. Nico winced at the sound of the door slam and followed after him. At least Logan hadn't lost his spark... He hoped that was a good sign... 

He stood still and watched Logan throw the guitar on the backseat. “What are you going to do with it?” he asked. 

“Smash it” Logan responded with a low voice, slamming the door. As he went to open the driver seat door, he paused. “I don't know yet…”. 

Nico got in on the other side. They sat in silence for a while. 

Logan started the car. 

“You sure you should be driving?” Nico asked carefully. “Yeah, I'm fine” he responded casually. 

Nico tried not to yell. “Like hell you are. This was fucking horrible. Don't say you're fine. I'm not even fine”. 

Logan smiled. It seemed genuine. “Okay. Not the right word. I'm not fine. But, I'm a lot better than I thought I would be. Don't get me wrong, it kind of sucked my soul out, but this was good... In a fucked up way, I'm almost a little relieved”. Their eyes met. “I want to drive, it helps me clear my head. I’m probably going to need some time to process this”. He gave Nico a reassuring smile. “Thanks again, by the way. I'm really happy you were there… I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't been…”. 

Nico felt his face heat up. He'd felt pretty useless back there. Almost like he’d caused it even, seeing as he helped channel Curtis to the world of the living. Not that he felt he had much of a choice though… The only time he felt like he'd done anything to help was when he'd passed Curtis to the other side. “No problem” he muttered. 

He watched Logan drive for a while. It was clear the whole ordeal was eating at him. 

“I think I'm going to sell it” Logan said suddenly. 

Nico was lost. “The guitar…?”. 

Logan shook his head. “No, the house” he clarified. “It feels-” he cut himself off, lost in thought. “It's not really my house anymore, anyway”. 

Nico blinked. 

Logan continued. “I've been thinking… Well no actually, I've been brooding… But, after the whole thing with Curt just now, I realized something. I guess I felt like I had to keep it. Like I had to get over it. Not let what happened rule my life, you know? To try to prove that I could or something. But I don’t think keeping it is really going to help me. I think I would just be making it harder for myself. I don’t need that” Logan stared at the road ahead. “So I don’t think I want to keep it” he shrugged. 

Nico blinked a few times. Then he hummed in agreement. Logan took a deep breath. He looked tired, and sad. But Nico wasn't as worried as he was before. 

Logan was strong. Not just physically, but mentally. Even more than that, he was brave, in the purest sense of the word. He always seemed to deal with life as it came at him. Not without kicking or screaming… And definitely not without fear… But being fearless wasn’t what bravery was about, was it? What would bravery even mean without fear? True bravery meant being scared shitless of something, and then facing it anyway. And that’s what Logan tried to do. Every single time. At least in the end. When it really came down to it, he dared to really look at himself, accept his own feelings and tried to move forward. No matter how hard that was. Even when it made him physically sick. Nico admired that, despite it being the main reason for a lot of their awkward conversations. Maybe even because of that… 

“What?” Logan asked, glancing at him. 

“I'm proud of you” Nico said. It came out with a lot more emotion than he wanted. Whatever. He meant it, emotions and all. 

Logan smiled. “I've got a long way to go still…” he almost sighed out. 

“You'll get there” Nico replied, patting Logan's hand on the gear stick. His hand lingered for a while.

-

More death and confrontation lay waiting for them behind the heavy metal cemetery gates. Logan stopped in front of him, reluctantly looking ahead. Nico stopped dead in his tracks, but not for the same reason. He’d noticed something. Something he'd secretly been keeping an eye out for. 

“One second!” he said hastily. That is some timing…!

He knelt down and held out his hand slightly above the ground. He willed his find to come up. This was going to take a while. It was deep, very deep. And stuck to something big, something incredibly big… He shifted a little to get a better angle and smiled when it finally broke free. The ground shook a little. The tiles of the sidewalk gave way, lifting up under the palm of his hand. Something heavy hit it soon after. Jackpot. He stood up and held out his hand, hiding what was inside. 

Logan gave him a confused look over, lingering on Nico's smirk. “What are you up to...?” he asked warily. He stuck out his hand anyway. 

Nico pressed the small, well not small, object into his hand. 

Logan stared at the sharp, stony fang. He let out an impressed huff. “No way” he said slowly. “Is that a dinosaur tooth?”. 

Nico shrugged. “I really hope so. If not, that was one horrifying chicken once…”. He tried to look sly about it, but he couldn't hide how pleased he was with himself. 

Logan gave him a warm smile, an excited flicker of fire going through his eyes. “That's fucking awesome”. He shoved it into his pocket and pulled Nico in for a rough kiss. “Thanks” he almost whispered against his lips as he pulled back. “I’ll keep it close for good luck. Forever”. 

Nico forgot all about trying to look sly. This was better than the reaction he’d hoped for. Heat smacked him in the face when Logan kissed him under the ear. In self defense, he quickly set out to ruin the moment. Just enough to keep some dignity... “I knew you were sentimental, but… You’re superstitious too?” he mocked gently, giving Logan a quick peck on the cheek before pushing him off. 

Logan seemed unfazed in his enthusiasm. “Sure, why not? The fucking Greek Gods turned out to be real” he shrugged, walking on with much more confidence. 

Touché… Nico’s smug expression cracked in half. “Ha…”. He quickly moved to catch up.

Logan stood still and turned to the tombstone next to him. This had to be it, Nico reckoned. He stood next to him, reading the inscription. Yes. This was her. They stayed quiet. Not just her, he realized a little unsettled. 

The grave looked peaceful, and well taken care of. There was a small bouquet of white roses in an old looking vase standing near the top. Its slightly tacky flower print and missing chip in the rim screamed Ms. Venema. 

There was another, much bigger and much more intricate bouquet laying right in the middle. White poppies stole the show. It seemed a lot more fresh... Based on what he'd heard, this screamed someone else’s name… 

Nico eyed Logan a little nervously. He looked apathetic. Then he didn't. He drew a breath and looked away. When he turned to glance at Nico his expression was sad. No, not just sad, drained... Nico reached his hand over to Logan’s, intertwinging their fingers. They smiled reassuringly at each other. Logan turned back to the tombstone. 

He inhaled deeply. “Yep”. He cocked his head slightly. “Still dead” he concluded dryly. 

Nico's breath caught. He snapped his head to face him in disbelief. Logan snickered at his reaction, leaning away in anticipation. Nico resisted the urge to smack him in the back of the head right then and there. Logan's breath hitched a little as he settled down. 

Yeah, alright… He’d let it slide this time… Nico sighed and rested the side of his head on his shoulder. Stupid spikes be damned. He listened as Logan's breathing slowly calmed back down. 

Logan grasped at his collar, pulling at it. Nico shifted a little with concern. He exhaled as soon as he saw Logan pull his mother's dog tag out of his shirt. Logan closed his fingers around it, slowly running over the letters with his thumb. His hand trembled… Nico slowly reached over, closing his hand around Logan's. He froze when Logan pulled his hand out underneath. His breath caught when he closed it around his, gently squeezing the small metal plate into Nico's grip. He relaxed back onto Logan's shoulder. 

An arm slipped around his back, drawing him in even closer. “She would have loved you, you know?” Logan muttered. The tone of his voice was low and pensive. 

Nico lifted his head to look at him. He couldn’t get Logan to meet his eyes, still lost in thought. “I probably would have loved her too” he said without thinking. It was true though. She sounded great. 

Logan finally looked at him, seemingly caught off guard a little. Before Nico could react, Logan grabbed the back of his neck and pulled him in. “Cute” he concluded after pulling away a bit. 

He looked back to the grave, then held up the bottle of wine. Nico glanced at the label. An Italian red wine. Chianti, but on the more complex side it seemed... He pursed his lips with a small hint of pride, slightly impressed. 

“I don't get why she likes it so much. It's just old grape juice” Logan muttered, like a moron. 

One accusatory finger wasn't enough, he pointed his entire hand in his face. “Don't mess with Italians or their wine, you uncultured savage! People have gotten killed for less!” Nico spat. 

“Oh, right. I forgot you're basically the Gothfather… What now? Are you going to make me disappear?” Logan asked dryly. 

Clever… Very clever… “Shut the fuck up, darling…” Nico mustered up. “It's a good wine… And it's to honor your dead mother. So, be a little more respectful… I promise I'll stop complaining. ” he offered, pleaded. 

“Oh, an offer I can't refuse… Fine” Logan chuckled. 

Nico closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Fine. 

Logan grinned and turned his attention back to the task at hand. “Probably should’ve brought something to open it” he muttered, turning the bottle in his hand. “Oh, well”. He knocked off the top against the tombstone, splattering some wine onto the roughly textured stone and onto Nico's pride. He knelt down and carefully poured the rest of the bottle onto the grave. All over the intricate bouquet, moving the bottle around to douse as many flowers as possible. 

Nico saw a hint of an evil smile while he did so. He bit his tongue. Whatever you need, hun… This was hard enough. No reason to make it worse. Besides…  Even based on the limited knowledge he had of her, his mother probably would have appreciated the gesture anyway. Maybe even more so... He smiled to himself. 

“Hey, hag. It’s your favourite” Logan mused to the ground. His expression soured a bit. “Sorry I haven’t visited, it’s been a weird few-”. His shoulders tensed up. “It’s been a weird year… Fuck, man…”. He shook the last bit of wine out and shoved down the broken bottle next to him. He folded his arms over his knees and stared at the tombstone pensively for a while, then turned to look at Nico, still deep in thought. He got up. “C’mon” he said, gesturing the other way. 

“You sure?” Nico asked. 

“Yeah, I’m done” Logan replied flatly. 

Nico tried not to look too worried. 

“It’s a pretty good start, right?” Logan asked, suddenly sounding a little insecure. 

Nico smiled faintly. “Yeah” he assured. 

Nico walked up to the car, grabbing the grill with one hand reaching out to Logan with the other. “Come on” he beckoned. “I’m taking you home. To Gwen’s”. It wasn’t up for discussion. 

Logan wasn’t listening, too lost in the bracelet in his hand. He held it up, closely inspecting it. It was made of obviously aged, heavy looking silver chainlinks. 

Logan was surprisingly sentimental about things sometimes. Nico wondered what memory made him go all the way back for it. Maybe his mom? 

“So, what's so special about that bracelet?” Nico asked. 

Logan smiled mysteriously. He gave him a warm look, his eyes burned with a hint of mischief. Nico braced himself. What was he up to? Gods, did they come all the way here and go through all that for a gift from an ex…? Which would be fine, he reminded himself. He braced himself a little harder anyway. 

“You tell me”. Logan slipped it around Nico's wrist and hooked it shut. 

Nico's breath stuck for a second. He looked at his wrist. No way, right?

“It's the first thing I ever bought with my own money. I always thought it brought me luck, but I’ve got plenty of luck… I know you don’t believe in that crap, but you wear silver, right?” he asked, gently running his finger over Nico's earring. “Just a little nicer than a fucking cigarette, at least…”. 

Nico was stumped. He couldn't look away from it. That cruel asshole. How could he do something so thoughtful to him? Straight up torture! Right… So, how had he not seen it coming? 

“Look, you don't have to wear it. I just want you to have-”. 

Shut up. Right now, or I'm going to cry on you. Nico quickly cut him off by pulling him in by the collar. He wrapped his arms around the back of his neck, trapping their mouths together. He felt him smile against him. It was too much. His heart couldn't handle it. Just as quickly, he pulled away and wiped at his eyes. He turned away trying to get his breathing to even out. 

Logan ran a hand through his hair. “Looks good on you. Way better than it did on me”. 

Nico sniffed in response, a little pathetically honestly. He didn't care. That was fine, as long as the grin on his face wouldn't get stuck forever… Eh. Whatever. It could stick around all it wanted. He quickly grasped Logan’s hand and tossed the shadows over them.

The truck gave him a shove as it rolled out of the shadows. His bracelet clattered against the hood as he caught himself. Logan’s hands were on his hips before he had the chance to straighten up. Warm amber eyes looking down into his own with concern. Not just concern…

Logan grabbed the back of his neck and gently, but firmly bent him over backwards onto the hood. He shifted his hips between Nico’s legs, running a hand over his waist. A trail of flames tickled his skin as his shirt ran up. “This takes me back…” he murmured, touching his forehead with his own.

Nico let out a huff, even more out of breath now. He closed his eyes, hooking an arm around Logan’s neck trying to pull him closer. 

“This is how that night was supposed to end” Logan whispered against his lips, before finally giving in and showing exactly what he meant.

Maybe the truck wasn’t so bad after all, Nico decided as his back arched against it.

--------

Thank you for reading. All 24 chapters are out on AO3, if you feel like reading more. Do make sure to read the tags and warnings to see if it’s what you’re in for (!): Strife - Chapter 1 - CryingCircusConductor - Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan [Archive of Our Own]

[cryingcircusconductor]

[PJO] Strife: XIX. Grandma’s cake

Daddy issues, hint at homophobia, Very likely mischaracterization of Mormon/LDS life, yelling at old people, implied grandma ass (yes, hence the title, sorry...).

--------

Eris’ promise hung over them like the sword of Damocles. Ready to fall precisely three weeks from now. The worries in the back of Nico’s mind grew bigger and stronger every passing day. Looking over the table, into the growing pensive fires in Logan’s eyes, he could see the exact same happening to him.

Logan leaned over the table. 

Nico joined in.

“I need to pick something up at my grandparents’ house” Logan said gravely.  

“What?! Right now?!” Nico shouted. “We can’t keep ignoring Eris for all these random sidequests! Time’s flying by… We haven’t even come up with a plan yet!”. He waved an angry hand in Logan’s face, accidentally wiping the grave look right off.

“What do you mean plan?” Logan laughed. “We know where she’s at right? That’s where we’ll go. That’s not going to take three weeks”.

Nico glared at his shoulders, stopping them mid shrug.

“Okay, okay. I get it, promise” Logan assured. “But, it’s important. It can’t wait till after… There might not even be an after. And if we die I at least want my grandparents to know who you are”.

Nico sighed deeply. “Alright… You followed me through Hades. Meeting your grandparents seems like a pretty fair trade…” he weighed, making Logan smile “But, what is this mysterious McGuffin we’re picking up?”. 

Logan smiled wider. “I'll tell you later”. 

Nico gave him a suspicious look, narrowing his eyes a bit. 

“Don't you trust me?” Logan pleaded. He nudged Nico in the stomach with his fist. 

Nico narrowed his eyes further. “Depends… With my life? Then yeah, sure… With literally anything else? Fuck no”. 

Logan cocked his head. “Smart man”. He gave him a pleading look. “Still, just go along with it for now, okay?”. 

Nico pursed his lips. “Ugh! Fine”.

-

The next conflict waited for them outside, in the form of a beat up, red pick up truck. Logan stuck his key in the lock. 

Nico blinked at him. “What are you doing?”.

Logan stared at him, slowly turning the key. “Unlocking… The door…?” he explained with a click. 

Nico’s eyelids dropped. “Why” he clarified more than asked. 

Logan smiled warmly. “I figured we could drive” he shrugged.

Nico’s eyelids dropped all the way down. Drive. To Salt Lake City. No. No way. One day would have been bad enough. This would take days. Days they couldn’t afford. None of this was necessary in the first place. And in this dumptruck no less? There was no fucking way he was going to let him-!

“You’re always the one getting us places. Let me do it this time. Just once” Logan pleaded. “I promise we’ll have enough time left to catastrophize and think of something stupid, okay?” he added with a grin. 

Ha! Nice try! Nico huffed smugly. There was no way pleading was going to work on him. Neither was joking. Not this time! 

Nico made sure to punish the cursed red rustbucket for being in his life by slamming the door behind him extra hard. He tore the seatbelt around himself. The sharp click locked down his fate for the coming days. 

Logan got behind the steering wheel and glanced over, his smile clearly more appreciative than smug, but a close call. Nonetheless, Nico’s scowl folded into a pout.

Logan wasn't afraid to die. Nico had known that, probably from the start, but he’d never realized just how little he feared death until now. 

Logan had kicked down the gas pedal before he'd even lowered the handbrake, making the car quite literally leap forward with a loud roar of the engine. Nico couldn't drive, but he was pretty sure that wasn't normal. It hadn't felt normal when he'd gotten thrown into the back of his seat, anyway. The insane pace the truck had shot out with, somehow only kept rising. 

After getting used to moving at warp speed, Nico glanced over. No, Logan definitely wasn't messing with him either. He looked more calm than he usually did… Nico braced himself mentally. At least at this pace, it might save them a day…

Nico held up a CD with a scowl, presenting the ‘very badass’ skeleton aiming not one, but two guns at whoever dared to look at it. “Oh, Gods. Am I going to have to suffer through all the two thousand's worst hardrock bands this whole drive?” he asked with genuine horror. 

Logan almost tore his eyes off the road to glare at him, barely managing to turn his offense straight ahead. “You actually think I listen to Butt rock?!” he asked in disbelief. “That's a low blow, man! Even for you…”. He shook his head dramatically. 

“Well the evidence is right here, isn't it?” Nico countered accusatorily. 

Logan quickly glanced over. He turned back to the road with a faint smile. “No, that was my mom's… She probably forgot about it… I hate it, but I can't bring myself to throw it away” he said, low and quiet. 

Crap… Nico quickly put it back in the dashboard. “Sorry…”. 

“No, don't be! My mom had absolute shit taste in music. It was one of my favourite things about her” Logan said, the faint smile brightened, then turned a little toothier in a clear threat. “But don't ever accuse me of liking that shit again”. 

Nico sank into his chair with relief. “So, what are you going to subject me to?” he asked. Whatever it was, he would manage. 

Logan got an evil look on his face. “Oh, don't worry. You'll hate it. It's going to be great” he teased. 

Nico groaned. 

“Only the best for you, Spooky!” Logan promised cheerfully, patting him on the knee. 

-

Despite Logan's threatening words earlier Nico only barely managed to hate the music he'd put on. Some of it was even kinda good. He'd never admit that though. All of it was loud and rough, as he should have expected. It felt very fitting, very Logan. It almost made him feel comfortable… 

The sudden hard stop they made sure didn’t. Nico gripped onto his seat, hitting the back with a gasp. He looked around to see what was wrong, to find nothing but a stop sign. Right in the middle of nowhere. Seriously?

“Really? You drive like a maniac, but you listen to traffic signs?” Nico asked in actual genuine interest. “I thought it would go against the whole kinda ‘punk thing’ you've got going on…”. 

“What are you talking about ‘punk thing’? Labels aren’t real. They're just a construct” Logan retorted with a smug grin. 

Nico pointed at him. “Yeah, see? That right there!” he noted, a little excited. 

The corner of Logan’s mouth twitched. “Stop stereotyping me! I’m just saying, they’re just dumb words made up by society to pigeonhole people!” he grumbled. 

This was it. He had him right where he wanted him. Nico grinned an evil grin. He exaggerated an angry fist shake “Society” he muttered intensely. 

Logan grimaced for a second, with a quick jerk of his head. He avoided Nico’s eyes, keeping them fixed on the road. He opened his mouth and started to say something then quickly clenched his teeth. 

Nico had never won this hard. He felt a little bad for him… He decided to spare him. Most of him. “I’m sorry, honey” he offered. He quickly looked away to make sure Logan wouldn’t catch him cracking up. He felt his eyes burn in the back of his head. Nico raised his fist and bit down on it to stop himself from laughing. He heard Logan's fingers rap against the steering wheel, finally urging him to glance around, as apologetically as he could manage through his smirk. 

Logan ground his teeth, slowly grinding into a grin. “You're so cute when you say stuff like that. Like one of those pugs”. 

Nico stared at him. Then he bent over and put his forehead on the dashboard trying not to show how much that got to him. “I hate how much I love you” he muttered lying through his teeth. 

“Love you too, Babe” Logan responded. 

Nico glared before he’d even turned to him. “Babe?” he spat "That's way worse than honey. Straight up verbal abuse”. 

Logan grinned slightly, glancing over at him. “You're right, you batshit little asshole. I went too far. Sorry". 

Nico smiled and leaned back into his seat. “Way better”. He looked at Logan for a while. He thought back to when they first met. Things had changed so much over the past year… 

Logan glanced at him again after a few minutes. “You're being a little weird, bud. It's making it hard to concentrate”. 

Nico smiled again. “Sorry, reminded me of when we first met and you called me a stuck up bastard... I miss when you really tried to romance me”. 

Logan looked a little hurt. “Yeah, sorry…”. He cocked his head a bit. “In my defense, you were being a stuck up asshole though, just a little bit”. 

Nico pursed his lips. Yeah… I know. “But, in my defense, you were being kind of an unhinged psycho”. 

Logan smiled, a little faintly but sincerely. “Yeah… I know”. 

Nico’s smile returned with a warm feeling. He let out an amused huff. Logan side-eyed him, a little warily. “Just hit me how lucky you are to have me, that's all” Nico said reassuringly. 

Logan smiled, genuinely. “Yeah, we both could have done a lot worse, huh?” he said with a low voice. 

Nico felt himself warm up even more. “Yeah” he muttered back quietly. “Don’t think there is any better” he added, so quietly it wasn’t even a whisper. 

‘I heard that’ a nudge in the arm warned. 

-

Nico had never stayed at a roadside motel before. It wasn’t something he’d been that keen on trying out, but here they were. The run down rectangle made up of even more run down rectangles tried its very best to prove all assumptions people made about motels right. The chained down appliances, large dark stain in the middle of the carpet and suspicious amount of locks on the inside of the door promised their safety was in the worst hands. 

Nico wasn’t actually all that worried, of course. Them being themselves, the murderers were probably more scared of them than the other way around. They seemed shy enough this early at least, as the hasty clicks of locks and fluttering of curtains led the way back to the car.  

Nico and the motel gave each other one last apathetic glance goodbye before he got in. He wasn’t going to miss it, or all the things going bump in the night. To be fair, most bumps were theirs. He chuckled soundlessly.

Logan paused and tossed the car door back shut. “Be right back” he said quickly, bending down to grab something through the open window. 

Nico stuck up a hand and watched him walk back inside. Logan didn’t bother adjusting his coat when it slipped off one shoulder. Combat boots untied. Tired, Nico concluded. Driving hours on end will do that to you, even after a goodish night’s sleep. Nico wasn’t even driving, and still grew more weary every mile. 

He looked out the other window. The mid-west had its charm, with its rolling rivers, plains and farmlands, but after a while… He stared at the horizon for a bit, angry music shouting at him from the background. 

The sound of a familiar, melancholic piano flowed out of the radio. A haunting,  ethereal voice gracefully overpowered it. My Immortal…? He hadn't guessed Logan would be into that. In a very roundabout way it wasn't that far off from his usual taste, but still. Nico smiled to himself. It wasn't exactly his favourite, but it was kind of a guilty pleasure. Good to know he could pick on Logan for this later. 

He looked out the window again for a bit as he listened. He actually kinda loved that song… He looked around. Literally nobody. Oh, what the hell, he decided. He knew all the words by heart anyway, and when was he going to get another chance. He sang along loudly as he looked at the sky next to him. It brought him back. Far back. He remembered how he used to sing when he was little. He used to sing a lot. So much he'd get picked on because of it. Man, what happened to him? He'd stopped doing almost anything he loved over the years… Well, there hadn't been much reason to sing. 

He started singing louder. He got a little lost in it. Before he knew it the song was over. 

Gods, what’s taking Logan so long? He turned to look. 

Logan stared back at him leaning on the window frame. 

Nico turned to stone. Logan's grin was easily one of the most devious he’d seen yet, but even worse, it was clearly full of admiration too. 

“You can actually sing?!” Logan asked loudly with amusement and awe. 

Nico finally regained the ability to move, barely. He buried his face in his hands in pure anguish and despair. He sank onto the dashboard. 

“Why have you been hiding that?! You're great!” Logan practically shouted at him. 

“Just… Get in the fucking car!” Nico demanded, throwing up a hand and slapping the dashboard. He heard the door open and shut. He turned his head a little to glare at him.

Logan chuckled and shook his head. “That's insanely hot” he said proudly. 

Nico groaned. “Please, never bring this up again” he pleaded weakly. 

Logan smiled brightly. “No way I'm going to promise that~!”. His evil tone didn't match his smile at all. He messed around with the radio. “And I'm definitely putting that on loop”. 

Nico's hand shot out to stop him. Their fingers fought tooth and nail. 

“Okay! Fine!” Logan laughed, putting up his hand in surrender. “But, then you'll have to put up with me singing” he bargained. 

Nico raised an eyebrow. He was actually offering to embarrass himself? That was objectively in Nico's favor. “Uhuh…” he said reluctantly. 

Logan punched in some buttons. He started up the car and put on his seatbelt. Suspiciously calm. 

Nico groaned as he recognized Kelly Clarkson's voice. Of. Fucking. Course. He stared out the window trying, and failing, to tune out Logan absolutely vandalizing Behind These Hazel Eyes. He looked at the side of the road, debating opening the door and throwing himself out. Probably wouldn't survive… Good… Eh…  That would be kinda rude to the farmers though… 

Gods, he hoped Logan didn’t find that song too relatable. The words stung a little… He pursed his lips and glanced over, taking in Logan's malicious glee as he shouted over the music. He couldn't help but smile. 

The smile endured hundreds more acres of floodplain rolling by. 

-

Nico startled awake at the sound of a car door slamming shut. He rolled over, blinking in the dark. The nothingness around him didn't look right. Unfamiliar shapes lurked right beyond the edge of visibility. Even the quiet sounded wrong somehow. A low, undefined hum flowed down from the ceiling. His heartbeat sped up. He gasped quietly and-!

Wait. A faint, sunny, woodland smell broke through the scent of cheap detergent and triggered his memory. He reached over, finding a warm hand. 

Right. They were in a motel. The second one even. He gently squeezed Logan's hand. His breathing slowed down. His muscles relaxed. Man, was he sore from the two day drive… Well, not just the drive, the messy sheets reminded him. He smirked. Guess not everything about motels was bad. 

-

Planted at dusk

He blossomed through the night

Decaying in silence

Dying to see the morning light

Nico narrowed his eyes at the words on the other end of his pen. He slowly pulled the tip back over them, crossing them out. Guess he really wasn’t the ‘dark dramatic poetry type of guy’… Or maybe his time as a plant had been less inspirational than he thought. Well, in any case-!

“Can I see?” Logan asked with poorly hidden excitement, already leaning closer dangerously fast from the driver side.

“Nope!” Nico shouted, tearing the pen all over the paper as hard and fast as he could. He balled up the paper in his fist. For a second, he debated eating it, to get all the shameful ‘feelings’ right back where they belonged. He slumped his forehead against the window instead, watching life pass by.

This time, life didn’t ignore him, lazily glancing over the shoddy wooden fence with hundreds of beautiful brown eyes. Under the splotches of cow all over the pasture, the yellow tips of the earliest dandelions reached for the stars, inspired to take to the sky themselves some day soon.

-

With one more motel stop they’d finally breached the Utah border, and with that Mormon territory in all its political complexity. It was hard to gauge how the people would react sometimes. Sometimes it wasn’t.

“You two seem close” the motel desk clerk noted, walking a tight line between friendliness and wariness. 

Logan pulled Nico against him. “Oh yeah, we're super close. You might even say we're soulmates” he said tauntingly. 

The clerk widened her eyes and pursed her lips. Nico shoved him off and walked outside, not sure who he was more annoyed with. 

Logan followed soon after, still grinning. 

“Stop using me to scare the Mormons” Nico ordered.

“But we’re such a good team!” Logan whined. “I have to try so much harder by myself…”. He pulled Nico against him, kissing him behind the ear.

Nico almost fell for it, until he heard a quiet snicker. He glanced over, at the clerk staring at them wide eyed, pen halfway through a sentence. “I said stop that…” he warned. He went to give Logan an accusatory little smack on the back. He went too low. Way too low…

Logan jolted slightly. He leaned in on Nico's ear. “Harder” he whispered in a husky voice. 

Nico's face caught fire instantly. 

-

Nico pulled his eyes off the window to set them on Logan, eyes diligently on the road, but still clearly aware of him. 

The amber flared up a bit. “Piercing eyes again, huh? Got anything to say?” he asked. 

Nico pursed his lips. He had to give it to him. Driving might have been a complete waste of time, expensive and uncomfortable to add… But when it came to the scenery it had shadow travel beat. Well, when it came to the cohesion of the scenery. Shadow travel was so quick and easy, it was like each place he went was an island, completely detached from the rest of the world. Seeing the cities turn into woods, into farmland, into deserts and finally into the rocky mountains, slow and deliberate, was strangely beautiful in a holistic sense. Not something he got to experience often. His ass hoped he wouldn’t have to do it again soon…    

“You're doing it again” Logan said a little accusatorily. 

Wh-? Right. “I can multitask” Nico defended. 

“Okay, so what did I just say?” Logan countered effortlessly. 

Crap. Nico thought as hard as he could. Right! “Something stupid. Final answer” he offered with full conviction. 

Logan cocked his head in frustration, stifling a laugh.

Salt Lake city hid between all the hills and highways, then seemingly jumped out all at once. Before Nico was ready, they’d drifted into a parking spot in front of a door and rang the bell. 

An elderly woman in an absolutely massive black, knit sweater dress opened the door. She wore her snow white hair in a tight bun. The heavy, seemingly hastily applied make-up on her face hinted at a taste for non traditional art. Her light brown eyes lit up looking at them. 

She screeched excitedly at Logan, tossed her cane aside and waddled up to him. After pulling him down to her, she immediately opened fire, kissing him aggressively on the cheek over and over. Logan put his hands on her shoulders and just let it happen, probably used to this. 

Nico smiled at the old gentleman still in the doorway, earning a faint smile in return. He also seemed used to this. 

Logan definitely took after his grandfather. He had a sturdy build, especially for his age. His dark gray hair was cut a lot shorter than Logan's, but there were still hints of its unruly temper. Short, straight strands stood in various directions, mostly upward. Nico couldn't help making a comparison to a, very handsome, old paintbrush. His expression was stoic, but his warm amber eyes seemed friendly. 

Nico was about to introduce himself when Logan's grandmother snapped her face to him, grinning deviously. Nope. On second thought, Logan was the spitting image of her… 

“Who's this handsome young man?” she asked accusatorily, jabbing Logan in the stomach roughly. 

Nico was about to make another attempt to introduce himself when Logan's grandmother put her hands on his cheeks. Very warm hands. He could feel her get ready to pull him down to her when Logan rescued him. 

“Grandma, back off” he scolded, putting a hand on Nico's chest to keep him in place. 

Ms. Venema scowled at Logan and reluctantly let go of Nico's face. 

Logan scowled back, then smirked. “Grandma, grandpa, this is my ex-boyfriend”. 

Fuck…! Nico’s polite smile froze solid, as did Logan’s grandparents. Nico kicked Logan in the ankle. 

Logan quickly put up his hands. “Right. Don’t worry! He’s also my rebound!”. 

Nico and Logan’s grandfather stared at each other, unblinking, mildly horrified. Logan’s grandmother snickered quietly. She smiled at him expectantly. 

“Uh. Hello, I'm Nico. Nice to meet you” he said, sticking out a hand. 

She eagerly grasped it with both of hers. “Now, that's a name you don't hear often!” she chirped. 

“He's Italian” Logan offered. 

Her devious grin returned. “Ooh~! Exciting! I'm so proud of you!” she declared, jabbing Logan in the stomach again. 

Nico felt his face burn. 

“Grandma!” Logan pleaded angrily. 

Mr. Venema slowly pulled Nico's hand free from her grasp and shook it. “We're Logan's grandparents. Nice to meet you too” he offered. He spoke very calmly, soothing even, if it hadn’t been for the slightly authoritarian tone. He gestured inside and made room for them, pulling grandma to his side.

Nico made sure to let Logan go first, giving his nerves some buffer to protect themselves. A long wall filled with memories looked on as they made their way through the house. Nico stopped to admire a memory that caught his attention in particular. 

A much younger Logan, probably about eight years old, scowled at the camera in his boy scouts uniform. Nico smiled at him. He took out his phone and quickly snuck a picture. 

Nico kept on moving, slowly, eyes on the other pictures as he made his way past. A beautiful young couple smiled back at him. 

The young man's smile was subtle, but warm and genuine. He was wearing Logan's coat. The difference being that it wasn't slightly too big for him. That and the very spiky haircut he was sporting. 

He held onto a little girl. Her hair gathered in a dark blonde, messy ponytail right on top of her tiny head. She was probably the cutest pineapple Nico had ever seen. The intense amber eyes she would later pass onto Logan looked right at him with wonder. 

A pretty looking, young woman clung onto both of them, her back to the camera. All her hair sacrificed to a short buzzcut. She wore a familiar, devious smile. He looked down a little at her very, very short leather skirt. Just a little too short for the pose she was in. Oops. Nico quickly turned away out of respect. Wait, they hung that up themselves… 

He glanced at a last picture while walking past. The now slightly less young man sat in the middle of a group of firefighters, in full gear. Stoic as today. A firefighter? Yeah, that made sense, actually… 

-

Ms. Venema proudly tossed a homemade cake onto the coffee table, still damping a warm pleasant odour. She started cutting it in large, uneven pieces.

Nico offered a quiet thanks as she shoved one of the pieces in his face, almost directly into his mouth. He decided to be a little more brave and attempt to break the ice. “I was looking at some of your pictures earlier” he said, gesturing to the hallway. 

Before he could continue Ms. Venema trampled over him. “Ooh! You saw my ass!” she chirped excitedly. 

Yes, he had. Nico almost choked on his cake. 

“Grandma…” Logan pleaded weakly. 

“It was in its prime…” Ms. Venema added mournfully. 

Anything Nico could say to that would be the exact wrong thing. He turned to Mr. Venema instead. “I saw you were a firefighter”. 

Mr. Venema nodded, giving him a pleased look. “Yes” he stated. He inhaled like he was going to say something. Then he went on and just… didn't, taking a sip of his tea. 

Logan shot him an irritated look. “You know that's not funny” he said angrily. 

Mr. Venema’s eyes twinkled ever so slightly with amusement and mischief, like he absolutely didn't know that. He looked back to Nico. “I was a firefighter for forty two years. I had a pretty good run. That picture is from a few years before my promotion to chief” he explained calmly. “So, you’re from Italy? Being here must be quite the adjustment…”.  

Nico smiled. “Well, I’ve been in the US for a couple of years now”. He quickly continued when he saw a devious grin spread on Logan’s face. “I’ve never been in Utah before, though. Logan told me the Mormon community is very big here”. 

Mr. Venema raised an eyebrow ever so slightly. “Well yes, but I doubt he was that polite about it” he said, looking at Logan. 

Logan smirked at him. 

“Still, it would be good to know people aren’t very fond of the word ‘Mormon’ around here” his grandfather gently pointed out. 

Nico felt his face heat up. He should have probably asked Logan about social etiquette around the religion before coming along to his grandparents. Then again, he probably would have used it to mess with him… “Ah, I’m really sorry” he said quickly. 

Ms. Venema’s cane fell over. She bent down and propped it back up. She waved his words away. “Oh, don’t worry sweetheart. No harm done. We’re not members of the church. Well, not anymore. We’re disaffiliates. Have been for decades, before Logan’s mother was even born” she explained. 

“Ah, so you left? That must have been hard” Nico said thoughtfully. 

“Yes, I followed Logan’s grandfather out when he left. Used to be a little controversial in the community, but nowadays people don’t seem to mind much. My father did though, I don’t think he ever forgave either of us. Especially not you”. She laughed as she grabbed Mr. Venema’s hand. 

Nico gave him a questioning look. Would it be rude to ask? Would it be rude not to? 

Mr. Venema met his eyes and smiled slightly before turning stoic again. He spared him the dilemma. “When I turned nineteen the church asked me to go on a mission trip. I figured I would, and I went and traveled for two years with a small group of other young men. It was a little jarring that wherever we went people avoided us like the plague…”. His eyes narrowed a little, lost in the memories. 

Ms. Venema’s cane fell over. She bent down and propped it back up.

Mr. Venema continued. “I’d never considered how different other people lived before, or that we weren’t what most people considered ‘normal’. My world was very small at the time. The church was all I knew. In the end I did end up meeting a lot of people who were very different from us and heard tons of life stories. They asked me lots of questions I didn’t have the answer to. I didn’t know what to believe anymore. Either I wasn’t as ready as the church thought I was, or it was bound to happen, but I left the church after that mission trip. Their ideas just stopped making sense to me. I lost a lot of people because of that, but not any I’d want back” he concluded matter-of-factly. 

Ms. Venema’s cane fell over. She bent down and propped it back up. She chuckled. “And then you spent years doing everything God forbids". 

Mr. Venema’s eyes glimmered. “Guess I had to make up for some lost time. There were lots of new philosophies to try out”. 

She looked at him dreamily. “I have way too many memories of those exciting times” she ran her hand over his arm as she said it. 

A faint smile crept over Mr. Venema’s face. “Oh I remember too. I also remember that suddenly I did catch your eye. I had been nearly invisible to you before”. 

Ms. Venema laughed. “You were such a bad influence on me” she almost whispered as she leaned into him. 

“You were already bad to the bone before I met you” Mr. Venema responded leaning into her in turn. 

Logan stuck up his hands. “Okay, now please stop. This is starting to get gross”. 

Ms. Venema laughed again and kissed Mr. Venema on the cheek, then she pulled back. Ms. Venema’s cane fell over. She bent down and-! 

Logan swiped it off the ground and slammed it down onto the table. His grandmother grabbed hold of it, he didn’t let go. They stared each other down, grinning. The cane trembled between them in fear. 

She finally let go. As soon as Logan did the same, she grabbed it and propped it back up.

-

Like a sweet dessert, the conversation finally took a turn Nico had been secretly hoping for all dinner, a turn away from him, and towards embarrassing anecdotes.

“Remember that time in elementary school? When that sweet young lady asked you to meet behind the shed and you showed up ready for a fight? You scared her so bad that her mother almost had you expelled” Ms. Venema suddenly threw in Logan’s face. 

“Well, what else do you meet behind a shed for?” Logan countered with mild annoyance. 

His grandmother tutted. “You're lucky you're a looker, sweetheart. That brain of yours isn't going to get you very far…”. 

Logan scowled. “I was seven, I wasn't interested in that stuff yet”. 

His grandfather let out a gruff hum in agreement. “Back then you were only interested in dinosaurs”. 

Nico bit his lip to prevent himself from laughing. Logan closed his eyes in annoyance and leaned away a little. 

“You were a boy scout and a dinosaur kid?” Nico asked, unable to let it slide. 

“Not at the same time…” Logan defended weakly. “And I stand by dinosaurs, by the way. They're huge vicious monsters” he continued, seemingly getting his nerve back. “It's Utah's fault. They keep making a big deal about them”. 

His grandmother shook her head slightly, clearly reminiscing. “The first thing he had to say about any dinosaur he saw was whether or not he could beat it in a fight”. 

“That sounds about right” Nico agreed with a smile. “Sounds like he was a handful” he based on all the new information. Well, and all the information he already had… 

“Oh, sweetheart. He was a breeze. We’ve dealt with the original. If anything that God of war watered him down” Ms. Venema huffed. 

Mr. Venema suddenly seemed a little guarded. “Don’t say that. Samantha might not have been an angel, but…”. He stopped himself. 

Ms. Venema gave him a fond smile. “Still daddy’s little girl, hm?”. 

Mr. Venema looked down at the table. 

Ms. Venema put her hand on his arm. “I know. She was a little rough around the edges, but… She was so sweet, and funny, and warm, and so… Bright. Our adorable little she-devil” she wiped at the corner of her eye as she finished. 

A mournful hue hung over Mr. Venema stoic demeanor. Nico felt Logan shift next to him. He looked over. No expression, but he could tell he was uncomfortable. 

“She had so much charm. Everyone was drawn to her. Especially men. Those poor bastards” Ms. Venema chuckled. “Remember when she burned that boy’s car down?” she asked. 

“Of course I do. I was on call that night. I’m the one who put it out” Mr. Venema responded with mild annoyance. “It cost us an entire paycheck” he added. 

Ms. Venema smirked. “Well, he did cheat on her. That wasn’t very smart of him” she countered. 

Mr. Venema looked unimpressed. Logan snickered quietly at him. 

Ms. Venema continued. “Remember that other boy? The really persistent one who kept standing under her bedroom window even after she broke up with him?” she asked, obviously amused. 

“How could I forget? She tried to pour a bottle of detergent on him and took the entire window frame with her when she fell out. She fell right on top of him… He cried so much I took him to the hospital, only to find out all that was wrong with him was a couple of bruises and a broken heart”. Mr. Venema sighed deeply. 

Nico put his fist in front of his mouth to hide his grin. 

“Not long after that, she met your father” Mr. Venema said. 

Nico could tell Logan shifted again. He looked. Logan was a whole different kind of uncomfortable now, almost all of it annoyance. 

Ms. Venema hummed. “I remember the first time she brought him home with her. Right out of deployment. So smitten”

“So pregnant…” Mr. Venema complained.

“You always only focus on the smallest details” Ms. Venema complained back at him.

“Large age gap too… Thousands of years…” Mr. Venema added to his growing list of complaints.

Nico snorted, then stopped himself and realized… A couple of decades was much less bad right…? He sure hoped so. Better not to bring it up, to be safe.

Ms. Venema shook her head and rolled her eyes. A faint little smile on her face. 

“Aside from that, it was clear she finally met someone with the guts to deal with her. He was head over heels too. You could tell from the way he looked at her that he just adored her. He was so proud when he told us how they met. Said she walked up to him to make fun of him for wearing his sunglasses inside and then drank his beer right in front of him… So Sammy” she reminisced. “Every time she got mad at him he’d send her flowers. Sometimes so many that it looked like a garden in here. She always took him back in the end”. 

Logan folded his arms. “Yeah, well, guess that didn’t last very long. After Curt showed up he didn’t dare to show his face even once” he muttered angrily. 

There was a tense silence. 

“They didn’t see eye to eye on a lot of things. Important things. Sometimes things don’t work out and they get very… Complicated” Mr. Venema tried. 

“Why do you always have to stick up for him?” Logan asked, annoyance turning into frustration. “You know he doesn’t deserve it. You don’t like him any better than I do”

Mr. Venema narrowed his eyes a little, looking at Logan pensively. “Well… As I said. It’s complicated”  he finally concluded.

“Sure” Logan concluded coldly on his turn. 

Another tense silence. 

“The bouquet on the coffin was his, you know?” Mr. Venema added, still pensive. 

That seemed to set Logan off. Frustration turned to anger. “I don’t care about the flowers!”. 

Mr. Venema shifted in his seat. “I know you're angry at him, you aren’t wrong... But you have to try to understand his position. He's the God of war, he can't always do what he wants. He's… Well…” he started stammering. 

“Busy? Yeah, I bet. Starting wars, killing people all over the place. Ruining lives. Sounds like a time consuming hobby!” Logan spat. He shot up and threw his chair back, making it hit the wall with a slam. 

His grandparents didn't even flinch, calmly watching him storm off. 

That was Nico’s cue. He slowly stood up. “I should probably go put out that fire” he offered, gesturing in the direction Logan had just gone. 

Mr. Venema gestured for him to sit back down. “I've gotten burned enough times to learn sometimes it's best to let a fire burn out on its own, son” he stated. “He'll come back 'round soon”. 

Nico thought about it. Then sat back down. Mister Venema was an expert, after all. 

The silence was more awkward than tense now. Ms. Venema excused herself to the bathroom, leaving Nico and Mr. Venema to stew in it by themselves. 

Nico cleared his throat. “I guess his father is kind of a touchy subject for him” he stated. 

Mr. Venema hummed. “Very” he agreed. “They both are. Not just Ares, but Curtis too”. 

Nico felt his chest tighten a little. Oh great, way less awkward. Let’s talk about the man who killed your daughter. Somehow he’d opened a can of worms. 

“Ah…” Nico said weakly. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to… You don’t have to talk about him if… I mean…” he stammered. 

“Hm, so he told you about him?” Mr. Venema asked, his expression was hard to read. 

Nico pulled his lips in a straight line. “Well… I know what he’s done. But no, he doesn’t really talk about him”. 

Mr. Venema looked mournful again. “Curtis wasn’t always the monster he turned into. He was a pretty great guy once. A great father too. Not that long ago. Logan Idolized Curtis, you know?”. 

Nico swallowed. He wasn’t sure if it was smart to talk about this. He wanted to know more, but this subject seemed very private. Logan would probably get angry at his grandfather too, if he found out. 

“Oh” he started “Uhm, I’m not sure if Logan would want you to tell me about that”. Nico saw a faint sad smile on Mr. Venema's face. 

“Probably not” he agreed quietly. “But if you’re planning on sticking around it’s probably good to know”. 

Nico thought back to the night on the balcony. Logan wasn't very good at talking about this stuff himself. Which was actually kinda rare. He hummed in agreement. “Yes, sir” Nico said. “If you don’t mind, of course” he added. 

Mr. Venema looked him in the eye, he seemed lost in thought for a few seconds. ”Well, it’s not that I don’t mind. But, not talking about him isn’t going to erase what happened” he said matter-of-factly. 

Nico nodded. 

Mr. Venema smiled again. “When my daughter brought Curtis home with her, it was very different. Much less dramatic than Ares. He was a real gentleman. Polite. Calm. Honest. He treated my daughter with nothing but love and respect. He didn't keep it secret that he would have done anything for her. And he doted on Logan from the beginning. He was almost the complete opposite of Ares. In the ways that mattered, at least. He was a bit stern, but warm. Curt wasn’t easily fazed… Even when things got difficult”. Mr. Venema paused, visibly reevaluating the last part of what he said. 

He went on. “They seemed so happy for all those years… Nobody saw it coming... This isn’t a story about an evil stepfather. He really, truly, was a kind soul... Curt was very dear to me too... I'm still grateful for all the good he's done…”. His expression turned stone cold. “Of course I would have put a bullet right between his eyes myself if I'd known what would happen…”. 

Nico drew a breath. 

Mr. Venema met his eyes, his face softened slightly. “It's a terrible shame he didn't get the help he needed in time. We found out much too late what had been going on”. 

Nico pursed his lips. 

“That's why it's so important to talk about things. Even when they're hard to talk about. Maybe even especially when they're hard to talk about…” Mr Venema concluded almost more to himself than Nico. 

Nico agreed with a nod. “Yes, sir…” 

“I hope Logan's going to see that soon too” Mr Venema added, still lost in thought. 

Nico gave him a reassuring smile. “Well. He's working on it. You know, going to therapy and all”. 

Mr. Venema snapped his eyes at his, wide eyed. For a second his stoic demeanor was completely gone in the surprise. 

Crap. He didn't know? Was he not supposed to tell him? 

Mr. Venema regained his composure. His eyes showed he was still a little affected, he seemed moved. 

“That's good to hear” he stated quietly. Mr. Venema smiled faintly. 

The door opened and shut quietly. Logan appeared in the doorframe. He ran his hand through his grandfather's hair. 

“I'm sorry about earlier”. 

Mr. Venema hummed in approval. “You're fine” he replied. 

“Cool down a bit?” Nico asked. 

Logan shrugged. “Staring angrily at the sun isn't as fun anymore now that I've stopped smoking. So I figured I might as well think about what I'm doing with my life. Apparently yelling at the few people I actually like isn't what I really want”. 

Mr Venema looked up at Logan from his chair. Pride in his eyes. 

-

At bedtime, Nico found himself looking at a familiar pensive expression, just not on exactly same face as usual. Mr. Venema glanced at Nico, then at Logan, then back again. He fidgeted with his wedding ring. The slightest furrow in his brow betrayed that he was in the middle of a hardfought internal battle. 

Ms. Venema side-eyed him with a grin. “Mr. Venema is still a little old fashioned so he doesn't want you to sleep in the same room, but he's afraid you'll think it's because you're both boys” she explained for him. 

He looked at her with mild irritation, but his deep exhale confirmed her theory. 

“That's alright, sir” Nico quickly reassured him. 

Mr. Venema gave him a faint, grateful smile. 

Logan shrugged. “Yeah, that's fine. We'll just have sex in the shower”. 

Nico and his grandfather both stared at him, wide eyed. Logan and his grandmother snickered deviously. Mr. Venema quickly made his escape into the hallway. Ms. Venema tapped Logan on the nose on her way to follow him, still grinning. 

Merely minutes later Logan barged in. 

“I'm not allowed to have boys in my room” Nico warned. 

Logan smirked, but otherwise ignored him. He opened every drawer, apparently not finding what he was looking for. He hummed in frustration and rapped his fingers against the last cabinet he'd rummaged through. 

“Want help?” Nico offered. “What are you looking for?” he asked, already getting up.

Logan’s eyes lit up. “Nice try, Spooky. You’ll see”. He pushed him back on the bed. 

Nico huffed. “It’s hard to hide things from me. I have my ways” he threatened. He willed the shadows to flicker, making sure to smile extra creepily. 

Logan’s eyes flashed warm orange. “If you think acting cute is going to get you anywhere, you're wrong” he mused, completely sincerely. 

Wh-! Nico sighed in defeat, igniting his face. 

Logan chuckled, patting him on the shoulder. His eyes narrowed as his grin grew. The warm grip on Nico’s shoulder tightened the tiniest bit.

Nico put a hand on his knee to stop him before he could pounce. “No fun allowed” he reminded him sternly. 

“Fuck the rules” Logan shrugged, inching his knee forward.

“No fucking anything tonight”. Nico shoved it right back in place.

Logan groaned, but let go. He moved his hand up to Nico’s chin, tilting it a bit to the side, then gave him a quick kiss on the forehead, right on the scar. Before Nico’s face could catch fire again, Logan backed off completely. Nico tucked himself into bed, by far the best bed he’d had in days. He curled up, closed his eyes and reached over, at nothing…

--------

Thank you for reading!! ;) All 24 chapters are out on AO3, if you feel like reading more. Do make sure to read the tags and warnings to see if it’s what you’re in for (!): Strife - Chapter 1 - CryingCircusConductor - Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan [Archive of Our Own]

[cryingcircusconductor]

[PJO] based on Strife: III.5 Getting uneven

All warnings are spoilers: High fever. Punches. Bad coping. Fainting. Shame. Crying. The boys are too awkward at this point for any actual heartfelt comfort, so just a hint.

So, this *could* have taken place between chapter 3 and 4 of Strife, but it would have thrown off the rest of the story quite a bit. A little fanfiction of my own fanfiction in an attempt to write a sickfic.

--------

The small screen trembled in his hand. [Ready if you are] the message read. Nico swallowed. Was he…? A coughing fit answered the question for him. With a scowl, he swallowed the last of the coughs back down. 

Why? Why did he have to agree to another bout of sparring? Why did Logan have to message him right when he got sick for the first time in years? More importantly, why did his pride absolutely refuse to let him back down? There was no way Logan would let him live that down. If it had been anyone other than him… 

Nico jammed his phone back into his pocket as smoothly as he could. Only three tries, promising enough, right? The corner of his mouth twitched, not a smile, not even a wry one.

He took a deep breath and pushed off the wall he’d been leaning on. A sudden dizzy spell reminded him just why he’d been doing that. The shadows pulled forward to catch him as he almost stumbled into them. 

He quickly straightened up on the other side, upstate New York, just a little closer to the now familiar porch than he’d aimed for. 

Logan seemed to think so too, taking a step back in surprise. He almost let go of the porch fence, then tightened his grip instead. 

Nico grinned as Logan’s startled expression turned to annoyance. Logan ground his teeth, then narrowed his eyes. Nico’s grin strained as Logan slowly eyed him up and down. All annoyance in Logan’s expression turned smug when Nico accidentally let a shiver slip. 

“You look even worse than last time” Logan jabbed. 

Nico’s grin turned into a scowl, unable to even feign amusement anymore. “Are you worried about me?” he jabbed back. His voice had sounded a little raspier than he’d wanted it to, but that was fine. 

The corner of Logan’s mouth twitched. He opened his mouth, then paused, rapping his fingers against the porch fence.

Nico blinked. Huh…? He shook his head a little, forcing the grin back on his face. “Don’t tell me you’re going to go easy on me?” his mouth taunted with much more bravado than the rest of his body could afford.  

Logan huffed, expression hardening. “Whatever…” he muttered, reaching down and pulling his sword out from between the floorboards. He didn’t even turn to look at Nico as he walked past him, just beckoning him along. 

Nico’s sigh of relief didn’t hold up at the pace he needed to move to keep up with him. 

By the time they’d made it to the clearing between the trees, Nico was already panting. He pretended to huff when Logan glanced over, trying to hide how out of breath he was. Logan seemed intent on making that impossible, keeping his eyes fixed on him as he tested the weight of his sword. 

Nico watched the sword turn a few times, rolling his shoulders in anticipation. He blinked when Logan moved his sword from his left to his right hand. His non dominant hand. Nico tutted in frustration, not leaving any room for the small sense of relief that had tried to creep up. “You are going easy on me” he complained, voice shaky with anger. Well, not just anger. 

Logan’s expression darkened, his grin got a menacing edge in the corner.  “Oh, you’re up for a challenge? Cool…”. He tossed his sword aside, fast enough to make the dirt gasp sharply when it stabbed into it. “Fuck swords. Let’s pick up where we left off last time”. He beckoned at his face. “I’ll give you the first hit. Let’s see if you’ve learned anything”. His tone lowered to downright threatening as he finished the sentence, all traces of the grin gone, just leaving the menacing. 

Crap. Nico’s Achilles’ heel. Swordfighting would have been bad enough… He swallowed, silently cursing himself. Subconsciously, he moved to twist his ring. He stopped himself, suppressing a wince at the touch of the cold sweat on the back of his hand. 

Logan stared at him, arms crossed, no expression. “Are you going to make me come to you?” he taunted, almost quietly. 

Nico clicked his tongue. That insufferable asshole… That was enough motivation. Without further warning, he closed in. Logan hadn’t bothered to teach him much about throwing punches, but that didn’t mean he hadn’t learned anything from last time. 

Nico went in with a left hook. As expected Logan caught his fist with ease, barely bothering to uncross his arms. Before Logan had the chance to twist his arm, Nico tossed out his right fist. He let out a short laugh at the sound of the satisfying, dull thud of the impact. Logan’s face snapped to the side.  

Nico’s smirk wavered when the grip on his fist tightened, and Logan slowly turned to reveal a smirk easily twice as smug. 

“Really? Is that all you’ve got? That's not going to get you anywhere” he taunted. He tugged Nico’s hand up, closing a vicegrip around his wrist.  

Nico scowled at the sudden pain and took a sharp breath, ready to tell him to fuck off. A cold shiver ran down his spine, almost making him choke. He tried to catch his breath, then tried harder. Too hard? He shook his head at the sudden dizzy spell. 

“What happened to all that attitude?” Logan taunted on. 

Nico almost couldn’t hear him over the loud ringing in his ears. He tried to pull his wrist free. 

Logan huffed. “For fuck’s sake. Just give up already, dude. What’s wrong with you?!”. He pulled Nico’s wrist up high. 

The sudden movement pulled Nico off balance. The grip on his wrist tightened when he toppled to the side. He didn't even notice the arm hooked behind his back before he almost folded over it. 

The grip on his wrist let go, letting his hand drop uselessly to his side. He wanted to lift it back up, grabbing something, anything, to help him stay up. No use. It was too heavy. He could barely move his fingers. Wait. No use? Wasn’t that supposed to mean he was going to fall…? He stopped squirming and held his breath, bracing himself for impact. To his surprise, only his head fell back. 

The arm around his back shifted a little, a warm hand held onto his waist, pulling him a bit further upright. Nico clenched his eyes shut, trying to resist any more movement, and swallowed back the overwhelming nausea.

He gasped when his hair got swept out of his face and a hand pressed to his forehead. Not quite gently. Still, he sighed in relief at the cool touch. A stark contrast to the warmth of the other hand. Ha… Weird… 

Logan huffed in annoyance right above his ear. “I fucking figured…” he grumbled quietly, mostly to himself it seemed.

Nico groaned when the hand on his forehead slipped away and pulled on his collar, forcing him mostly back on his feet. His elbow got yanked up. Despite his attempts to protest, the world tilted upside down under him. The hands moved undeterred, much too strong. He gave in, releasing all tension in his body with a final shudder. 

-

Nico felt warm. Too warm. He moved his hand, over fabric…? He grabbed onto it and pulled. Yeah, definitely fabric, he realized as he pulled it off of himself. Cool air touching his arms made him take a deep breath. Not quite relief, as he immediately felt too cold. He cracked his eyes open through the shivers. Bright light blinded him, making him groan. Slowly, he was able to make out what he was looking at. Who he was looking at. Standing right next to the couch he found himself to be laying on.

Before Nico had time to process, Logan narrowed his eyes, only hiding half of the two angry little flames that flared up in them. “You didn't think the fact you have a hundred and three degree fever was interesting enough to share?” he asked with more constraint than Nico expected. 

Nico glanced away and tried to shrug. “I don't have a thermometer…”. 

Logan's jaw twitched. He opened his mouth, revealing his tightly clenched teeth, then closed his eyes and took a sharp breath. “You can’t smartass yourself out of this one!” he hissed. 

Nico grinned humourlessly. “Ha”. He pushed his elbows down, trying to get up. “Watch me” he countered. Before he could even make it half way, Logan shoved a hand onto the base of his neck, pushing him right back down. Keeping him down, with way more pressure than needed. He slowly sat down on the couch, eyes and hand fixed on him.

Nico heaved under his grip, glaring up at him. Logan glared back down at him. He didn't even try to keep the flames at bay this time. “I'm not messing around, Spooky” he growled. Pushing down even harder, that was more than just a warning. 

Nico shuddered, ruining any chance his glare had to look threatening. 

The fire in Logan's eyes died down a notch. His jaw relaxed.

Nico's eyes darted down to Logan's hand when the pressure let up. Annoyingly, Logan didn’t move it away, rapping his fingers against the side of Nico's neck. 

When Nico swallowed, Logan finally pulled back. “Look, I know we're not exactly friends, but I'm not going to let you self-destruct right in front of me” he sighed. “You're staying here. At least until Gwen's had a chance to look at you” he stated. Ordered. 

No! No way! Not even more embarrassment! Nico couldn’t bear that. This shitshow had been bad enough. More than bad enough. The absolute fucking worst. A nightmare. One that was going to haunt him forever! Even if he could somehow ever find it in himself to let this go, there was no way Logan was ever going to let him… He gripped onto the blanket and prepared to protest when his throat closed up. Another cold shiver rolled down his shoulders. He clenched his eyes shut.

He felt Logan shift next to him. “Hey, are you-?”. 

Wait… Was that genuine concern…? No way, right? Nico opened his eyes in surprise. Not as surprised as Logan, apparently. Nico blinked, only just then feeling the tear roll down his cheek. 

Oh… 

Fuck! 

Nico quickly swiped the tear away with the back of his hand as the heat of the fever mixed with shame. His fingers trembled. He stopped wiping, leaving his wrist right there, in front of his eyes, to hide as much of his face as possible.

Neither of them moved for a few seconds. 

Nico couldn't take it anymore. He rolled onto his side and curled up a bit, holding his breath as long as possible. At that, he felt the weight next to him lift. He winced when the blanket got pulled over his shoulder, so careful it hurt... 

“Don't forget to drink your water…” Logan warned… Pleaded?

When the quiet footsteps moved out of earshot, Nico finally let go of the sob he'd been holding in. 

-------

Based on Strife, my whumpy lonfic. Thank you for reading!! :) If you feel like reading more like this (like a 400 page book lol), my longfic is up on AO3. Do make sure to read the tags and warnings to see if it’s what you’re in for (!): Strife - Chapter 1 - CryingCircusConductor - Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan [Archive of Our Own]

[cryingcircusconductor]

[PJO] Strife: XVIII. The ‘we’ in wedding

All warnings are spoilers: Discussion of incest, Bi-phobia, unwanted labeling, death of chair in the line of duty, more dog discrimination.

--------

His big day finally came. Nico bravely withstood all the nervous sweat, clattering teeth and anxious sighs. All happening right next to him at the breakfast table. 

“How are you holding up, Mark?” Nico asked carefully. 

Mark pursed his lips and nodded casually, two shades paler than usual. 

Sherman reached over the table and punched him in the shoulder with a loud, reassuring thud. “Just think of Cindy, bro. She’s waiting for you!”. 

Two mahogany brown flashes lit up at the mention of her name. Mark grinned through the nerves, a faint red broke through on his cheeks. 

-

Nico looked on carefully as the pale stranger in the mirror adjusted his collar. The tense young man went on to fix his messy black hair, slowly taming it. All the while, Nico silently blessed Aphrodite for thinking ahead and sponsoring his wedding attire a few months back. He’d offer her some champagne with a libation later. Not just for the suit, also for Mark and Cindy’s future. 

Satisfied with his work, he turned around and leaned back on the dresser, watching Logan button up his dress shirt. The same one he remembered. It was still true, Nico realized as he watched Logan’s suit jacket slip around his waist perfectly, Logan cleaned up nice. 

‘What are you looking at me like that for? You've already seen all of this” Logan pretended to complain. Well, not all of it was pretend, he reminded himself when Logan pulled his top button loose again with a single jerk. 

“Yeah, but… Last time I had to pretend I didn't” Nico explained, moving closer to button him back up. 

  “You didn't have to, you wimp. I told you that you looked hot” Logan chuckled, narrowing his eyes at the tie in his hand. He smirked and tied it into a noose. 

Nico huffed, pulling the tie from his hands and loosening it back up. “No way! You said I looked evil” he countered, quickly tying an appropriate knot and hanging it around Logan’s neck. 

“I love evil” Logan reminded him, voice low. His eyes glowed mischievously. 

Logan’s smirk turned into a scowl when Nico pulled the tie tight. Nico stifled a laugh and held onto it, quickly pulling their lips together. He felt the scowl give up instantly.  

“For the record, it looks even better with the earrings” Nico muttered, running the back of his fingers over the studs.

Logan smiled, then smirked as he hooked a finger behind Nico’s turtleneck collar and tugged. “Just so you know, hiding it only makes it more interesting for me… I like a challenge”. 

Nico glared at him. “If you try to undress me at the wedding, I swear I’ll make you regret it… ”

Logan’s eyes flashed in excitement. “Ooh~! Do I hear an even bigger challenge?”

Nico’s eyes narrowed in the opposite. “I could kill you in so many ways!” he reminded him in a thinly veiled threat.

Logan moved in closer. “I know! It’s so hot!” he mused. 

Nico moved out of reach. “Stop being trash! Just for today, alright?”.

Logan groaned in disapproval. Nico braced himself for the rest of what was promising to be a very long day. He shook his head and moved for the door, ready to go face the rest of Mark’s life, pulling Logan along by his tie to go do the same.   

Gwen turned to them when they made their appearance on the porch, making her long plum dress twirl. Her wavy hair had been caught in an elegant bun. Together with the dark lipstick, it drew even more attention to her pretty face. 

“Wow! You look great!” Nico concluded loudly. 

Gwen blew him a kiss. “So do you two!” she cooed, squishing their cheeks. 

“Look at those morons” Logan said, gesturing at Mark and Sherman over in the grass further ahead. 

Nico looked on while they threw rocks at each other in their fancy suits, giggling like toddlers as they did. “Well, at least they're happy” he replied. 

They grinned widely as they stood there watching them. 

Gwen huffed “Just because you two use words instead of rocks, doesn’t mean this isn’t exactly the same”. 

The smug joy in their grins dissipated instantly. Not even Mark getting hit in the crotch with a particularly good throw seemed all that funny anymore. 

-

The venue was perfect for the time of year. Well, it would be perfect most times of the year. The seemingly endless, large windows on all sides had a great view of the snowy orchard surrounding them. Hundreds of cherry trees stuck out their thousands of arms to catch the snowflakes as they fell. Large fireplaces kept all the cold outside.

Yan would have loved this, he realized with some guilt. She’d insisted he went, of course, but Nico didn’t even like parties. Well, that wasn’t what he was here for anyway, he reminded himself. Logan didn’t seem all that into parties either. So at least they could be mildly uncomfortable together.  

Nico glanced away from the familiar faces in their row of chairs, to gaze over the crowd of unfamiliar faces in all the others. Mark and Cindy were popular, he had to conclude. 

His eyes went over the bridal party. Four equally stunning women in four stunning, identical dresses guarded Cindy’s spot at the altar like lionesses. Next to Sherman stood three handsome, muscular men wearing the same monkey suits. All pulling faces behind Mark’s nervous smile as the photographer tried desperately to get a single decent picture. Sherman swiftly punched them all back in line one by one.    

On her cue, the elderly angel in the corner tickled her fingers over her gigantic golden harp. It started giggling a warm, romantic melody. 

A beautiful bride made her dramatic appearance from behind the large velvet curtains in the back. The countless small, shiny gemstones in the abundance of shapely white lace shimmered like ice crystals in the low light. Her long red hair draped over her shoulders and back, down to her waist, gleaming like it had been spun from the finest silk. A light veil obscured her face. Cindy was lucky Aphrodite wasn’t there. There was no doubt in Nico’s mind she would have struck her down in a fit of jealous rage before she could have taken her first step down the aisle. 

The proud older man on Cindy’s arm silently wept as he started to lead her down to the future waiting for her at the end of the path ahead. Nico glanced back to the altar at the sound of a dull thump. And another. He caught the last two of the groomsmen reaching over at their turn to beat the shit out of Mark’s shoulder in awe of his luck. 

Mark bit his lip, clearly trying not to cry. Not because of the pain, Nico reckoned, seeing as Mark hadn’t even taken his eyes off of her for a second. He quickly gave himself a slap in the face to get it back together. A very hard one. The sound of the smack got a shocked ‘Ooh’ from one half of the room, and a quiet snicker from the other. With all the pummeling, Nico wondered if Mark would still be standing for the next round of this ceremony…  

Cindy dealt him the final blow when her veil got lifted, revealing her beaming smile. Knocked out cold, Mark needed another encouraging punch from Sherman to start straining through his vows. His sweet, but honestly terribly corny vows, Nico found out. 

Logan’s hand brushed against Nico’s, he slowly locked their pinkies together. Ha. Funny, after that the words suddenly all sounded a lot less corny… 

“Cinnabun… You’re such a total babe, inside and out-!” Mark croaked tearfully. 

Cindy put both hands over her mouth in a silent gasp, even more tearful.

Nico only caught his laugh at the very last second, having to smack his own hand over his mouth to do so. Other than a half amused, half warning grin right next to him, luckily nobody seemed to have noticed.  

Two rings announced the final round. One kiss sealed both their victories.

Cindy’s father was the first to reach the couple, almost doing so in a single leap. After embracing his daughter, he moved onto Mark. He wouldn’t let go. Cindy’s mother politely, but firmly pried him off under the guise of it being her turn now.

Waiters rushed around chairs and glasses of champagne, preparing for the part of the day Nico had been quietly dreading a little. He stuck close to Logan as everyone started to mingle, waves of cheerful chatter flowing through the room. Logan put a hand on the small of his back, leading him over to Mark and Cindy.   

As they waited their turn, Nico stopped him from downing his champagne in one go by placing a stern finger on the stem of his glass, keeping it down at socially acceptable level. Logan tried not to choke and gave him an annoyed pout. Nico pretended not to notice.

Mark beamed at them with pride as he crushed their hands. “So? What did you think? Pretty impressive, huh?” he asked excitedly.

“Definitely!” Nico assured. “I think it’s really sweet you wrote your own vows. They were very you” he offered with full honesty, under another warning grin at his side. 

Two cackling toddlers in ill fitting suits ran up to Cindy and started pulling on her dress with their adorable, grubby little fingers. She turned around and bent over to greet the rowdy little gentlemen. Don't, Nico willed himself. He couldn't help it. He glanced down. Yep. Their landlord was a disgusting creep, but he definitely wasn't blind. 

Logan gave him an unimpressed look. “Really? You of all people?” he asked. “I expected better from you…” he added with a hiss. His faint smile gave him away. 

“People need to stop doing that” Nico retorted. He took a smug sip of champagne. 

Mark gave him a proud, very self satisfied smile. Nico half smiled and raised his glass a little. 

-

They watched Mark and his fellow himbos flex for the camera. The photographer quickly sped around them in various equally impressive moves to capture their true essence. 

“Damn, am I glad I turned that down…” Logan huffed as he watched them.

Nico snorted. Those pictures would have been priceless. He almost dropped his champagne when someone put their arms around his neck. 

“Sorry, Nicky!” Gwen cooed, quickly letting go. “I got a little excited!”. She pulled a stupidly handsome man against her. “This is Taylor! My date~!”. 

Taylor gave him a beautiful smile. “Enchanté” he greeted with a deep voice, offering a hand. 

Nico shook it.

“Nico” Logan offered for him with a quiet chuckle.

Right. Nico smiled through the embarrassment. The mild burn on his cheeks slowly simmered down through the rest of the conversation.

Gwen pulled Taylor along to the dancefloor. Nico watched her giggle as she got twirled. Her eyes burned the brightest blue he’d ever seen them. 

Nico turned to Logan. “Wow, I'm actually a little impressed that you managed to woo Mr. ‘Tall dark and handsome’ over there. No wonder Gwen was so angry”. 

Logan grinned proudly. “What can I say. I have a type. He's got nothing on you though, in any way. She can keep him” he mused, jabbing Nico in the chest. He hadn't even needed to, his words beat him to it. 

Nico just gaped at him, stunned, unable to get himself to stop grinning. 

Logan chuckled and leaned in. “Gods, I love it when I get you to shut up” he teased. 

Nico recovered a little at that. “Don't get used to it” he warned.  

A tall, slightly broad young woman in a beautiful green sun dress kept glancing over. As she noticed Nico notice, she quickly stepped forward. Her friendly looking, large blue eyes snapped to look at Nico, then Logan, then back at Nico again. Her tight blonde pony tail swung a little as she did. She stuck out her hand to Nico excitedly. 

“This little demon is my younger sister…” Logan explained, eyes fixed on her. “Amy, this is Nico” he added with a gesture. 

Nico smiled at her and reached out. As he grabbed her hand all friendliness in her eyes turned devious instantly. 

She held on tightly, turning to look at Logan. “He's cute” she declared to him. 

Nico felt his face start to burn, her grip didn't budge. Logan’s smile widened in clear annoyance. 

“Is this your boyfriend?” she asked, her mouth slightly agape and her eyes even more devious. She gripped Nico's hand tighter. 

“Yes, now give him back” Logan snapped, grabbing her wrist. 

Her eyes gleamed, her mouth twisted open further in a large, gaping grin. “I still can't believe you got an actual boyfriend!” she exclaimed. 

Logan's knuckles turned white as he squeezed her wrist tighter, scowling at her. 

She finally let go, giggling. Then she glanced at Nico with a smile. “Nice to meet you~!” she almost sang to him. 

“Yeah… You too” Nico muttered, still a little flustered. 

She'd already ripped her hand free from Logan's grasp and bounced off. 

“Little brat!” Logan grumbled. 

-

They found Clarisse standing a little off to the side in an uncharacteristically dainty floor length gown. She had an attractive hispanic man on her arm. The atmosphere got a little uncomfortable as she noticed them. 

“Hey, sis” Logan greeted. “Chris, this is Nico” he added with a nod to both of them. 

Chris smiled and reached out. They quickly shook hands. 

Clarisse took a sip of her champagne. “How are you?” she asked Logan firmly. 

“Ups and downs” Logan replied with a shrug. 

She hummed, neither in approval nor disapproval. “Good to see you” she said with stern look to both of them, leading Chris away. 

“That's the deepest talk we've ever had” Logan chuckled as soon as they disappeared into the crowd. 

They watched a young man scare his date with what Nico had to assume was an attempt at breakdancing. His date hid behind her clutch purse at the unmistakable sound of pants ripping. The young man pulled himself off the ground with a proud smirk, completely unaware of the large streak of white underwear tearing down his backside.

Logan downed a glass of wine, right through his evil grin.

“She’s got it bad enough. Don’t say a word” Nico warned.

“Why would I?” Logan asked coyly, a mild twinge of disappointment in the corner of his grin.  

“Because you've got no filter” Nico replied accusatorily. 

“Pff! There's plenty I don't talk about! Like, on purpose!” Logan almost shouted. 

“Yeah, right!” Nico almost shouted back. “Bullshit. You've never even once kept a single thought inside that thick skull of yours”. He pointed at him for emphasis. 

Logan turned dramatically. “Ha! How about the fact that we're related?! You're my dad's cousin. I think about that at least once a day! Never mentioned it before!”. 

Nico shuddered. “Gross! That's… Gross!” he replied, waving his hands in defense. 

“I don't know what that makes us, but it's something too close to be doing what we're doing” Logan added. 

“Stop! Just stop. You've made your point!” Nico demanded, waving his hands in exasperation. “I'm just saying, there's a lot more stuff you could not say to people”. 

Gwen walked over, hands in her sides. “Okay, lovebirds. What are you fighting about this time? And it better be good, if you're going to do this on Mark’s wedding day” she warned. 

“Incest” Logan replied. 

Gwen dropped her hands and spun around, strutting away at an impressive pace. 

Nico shoved his face in his hands. “That was on purpose…”. He sighed out as much frustration as he could. Not nearly all of it.

Logan winked. “Most things I do are” he teased. His grin turned a little apologetic. 

Nico sucked in his lips. “Tell me about it…” he complained. “You're always yourself. Around everyone” he added. A backhanded compliment, but somehow no less sincere.

Logan’s grin turned downright puzzled. “Who the fuck else would I be?” he chuckled, shaking his head. 

Ha…

-

As soon as he caught on, Nico had stopped resisting and let himself get pulled away to the hallway. No crowds. No loud music. No need to force a smile. He relished in that fact, frowning gratefully. 

Logan watched him intently. “This really doesn’t do anything for you?” he asked, gesturing at the wall hiding all the festivity. “It's pretty cute right?” he nudged.

“You want to get married?” Nico asked in disbelief. 

“And acknowledge the power of the state? Or even worse… The church? Nope. No way” Logan scoffed, then his expression softened. “But, for you? Sure… Of course I would”.

Nico felt his cheeks start to ignite. He hid his grin under a much deeper frown. “Hm. I told you, I'm not into parties. Especially not big ones… I'm way more of a funeral guy. Much more fun”. 

Logan chuckled and put his arms around him, hands on his lower back. “C'mon don't you think that's at least a little romantic? I'm really trying here…” he asked sincerely. He pulled Nico closer and kissed him behind his ear. 

Nico could feel his hips against his, swaying to the music the tiniest bit. Subconsciously he followed. He smiled to himself. He’d gotten a little lost in Logan’s genuine excitement. Logan kinda had ‘dog energy’ sometimes. 

Logan slowly slipped his hands lower. 

Ha… ‘Bad dog’ energy… “No. Bad” Nico said firmly. “Down!” he demanded. 

Logan moved his hands away and faced him. His eyes flickered dangerously. Crap. He should have figured he’d be into that… Nico didn't have time to protest. Logan moved Nico's chin to the side with his thumb, then leaned back in and licked him from his neck up to the back of his ear. Nico felt his breath get stuck in his throat. 

“I’ll be your dog if you want me to” Logan whispered in his ear. 

“Wh-! Gross!” Nico shouted, wiping at his neck. 

Logan pulled away. He tapped the tiny skull dangling from Nico’s earring, making it jingle under his ear. 

“You already are a dog” Nico said accusatorily. He was still annoyed, but couldn’t help smirking anyway. 

“Woof” Logan said flatly. 

Nico snapped to look to the side when he heard loud giggling. 

Luckily, they hadn’t gotten caught. Unluckily, he’d now caught someone else. A very tipsy elderly man and an equally tipsy elderly woman awkwardly made their way over to the door of the coat room in a mess of limbs, loudly shushing each other every time they bumped into something. Nico bit his fist when they managed to paw the door open and fell in on top of one another, quickly kicking their way behind the door. 

“Grandma! Grandpa!” Cindy scolded loudly from a distance. 

The doorknob quickly rattled, then locked with more muffled giggles before Cindy’s sister managed to reach it. Nico bit down harder, probably actually leaving a mark on his finger by now. 

Logan laughed with a poor attempt at quietly next to his ear. “Okay… That’s a little too romantic. Even for me. I’m going to get some air”

When Logan left, Steph peered around the corner. Nico looked at her. She quickly hid behind the doorway. He suppressed a laugh. 

“Your hair is sticking out” he pointed out. 

She reluctantly stepped into view, obviously upset. He looked at her expectantly. She looked right past him before she spoke. 

“You're gay right…?” she asked with a small voice. It didn't suit her at all. 

“Yeah” he replied. 

She looked up, visibly nervous. “How did you know?”. 

Oh. Part of him expected this. Part of him thought she was going to bully him. He didn't know which he hoped for... Stop being a pussy. He could actually help someone. In a way he'd missed out on himself. It's the least he could do. 

“Uh…” he let out. “You know what it feels like to like someone? As more than a friend?” he asked in return. 

Steph looked unsure. “I dunno” she finally replied. 

“When you think about them all the time, you always wanna be around them, you wanna kiss them…” he explained. Fuck. He better not have to give her the talk... That's where he drew the line. 

She looked miserable. “Yeah, I think so…”. 

He gave her a half smile. “Then I think you know if you're gay… Not what you were hoping for?”. 

She sighed and shook her head. He could see her eyes well up. 

“It wasn't what I wanted either…” he started. “You can take as long as you need with this, you know? You don't owe anybody anything. You don't have to share with anyone you don't want to. But… Once you stop being ashamed of it, it does get a lot better. Turned out pretty good for me, actually. I mean, some people suck… And it's not going to be easy all the time, but you seem pretty strong”. 

She smiled through the tears. “Hm” she let out. She sounded hopeful. 

“Wouldn't you… Rather talk about this with your brother?” he asked carefully. 

Steph shook her head, all hints of tears gone. “He's too different” she said resolutely. “He thinks everyone just does whatever they want…”. 

Nico hummed in agreement. Yeah. He sure does… 

“Thanks” Steph said softly, moving to leave.  

“Good luck, Steph” Nico sent along with her, making her pause for a second. 

She smiled at him, sincerely. “Thanks!” she repeated. She almost left, then didn’t. “Oh, it's Steph, by the way. Not Steph” she corrected. 

Nico blinked at her… Was… there a difference…?! He just smiled and nodded, vowing to never say her name again. 

Alright. No more hiding. He rolled his shoulders, bracing himself for the rest of the evening. 

-

Greg was drunk. An annoying drunk. “So, you're Logan's latest victim right? Mark told me” he elbowed Mark in the side. 

Mark didn't look very enthusiastic about it, a little wary even. 

Greg didn't seem to mind, or notice... “You better watch out” he continued. “That boy's been places. Lots of them. Not really one to break the whole bisexual stereotype” he laughed as he said it, seemingly not noticing he was the only one. “Is he really going to swear off women for you? If he is, you must be a pretty interesting guy!”. 

This was the first time Nico had ever actually seen Mark's eyes catch fire. The mahogany brown burned a lot darker than Logan's or Gwen's eyes. That only made them more intimidating. 

He swatted Greg against the back of his head, making him wince. “Shut your stupid fucking mouth, Greg” he commanded in a low growl. 

Greg did just that. 

Nico faked a smile. He tried to think of an excuse to get out of there. “You know, I don't actually know if he’s done with women. I'll go ask him right now” he put up his hand and walked off. 

“Uhm, you really don't have to do that!” Greg shouted after him.

Nico didn’t look back, eyes locked on the door. After the door, there were many more. A young couple pulled their faces apart to look at him, faces flushed, hair messy.

“Have you seen a guy about my height, dark blonde…? Probably some random blood stains on him for some reason?” Nico asked. 

The couple smiled. “Logan? He's outside”. They pointed at the door right across the hallway. 

The long spiny fingers of the cherry trees almost looked monstrous in the darkness, creeping out of the thick piles of snow. The moon cast cold, white light over the even colder, whiter field. Logan was too busy admiring it to even notice Nico’s intrusion.

A tie hung helplessly over the back of a lawn chair. Logan was definitely going to forget that. He probably already had. He managed to lose everything somehow. It was almost impressive… Almost. Nico made a mental note to grab it on the way back. Seriously, what would he do without him? 

Nico walked up next to him. He glanced from the moon to Logan, working up the nerve to speak. He took a sharp breath, catching Logan’s attention. “So, you like both men and women right?” he asked. 

“Some of them” Logan clarified. His tone was flat. No… Careful. 

“Right… So, you're bisexual…?” Nico asked further. 

Logan shifted. Careful turned into mildly disapproving. “I don't know. I never think about that type of stuff. I don't want to put a label on it. Labels mean rules. I know what I like, when I like it”. 

Nico smiled as he thought about it. That seemed fair. Fitting at least. Still, it wasn't very satisfying. Probably because he hadn't asked what he really meant to ask… Probably because it was kinda wrong to ask anyway… 

“Aren't you going to miss women?” Nico asked as carefully as he could. 

Logan's face turned cold for a second. Then a little bit of amusement shone through the cracks. “Was I supposed to lose all women? I better text Yan. She'll probably understand”. He pulled out his phone. 

“I swear if you text her that-!”. Nico regained his composure, holding up his hands. He was the one overstepping anyway. “Look, you know what I mean. And it's driving me crazy. I'm sorry, I have to know. I don't want to keep you from anything you wanna do. You know? Make rules for you and all that…”. 

Logan turned colder again, an air of sadness hung over him. “I just don't get where this is coming from all of a sudden. Wasn't Will into women too?”. 

Nico squirmed a little, really regretting this whole conversation. “Well, yeah… But, Will was a lot less…” he stopped himself and squirmed harder. 

“Slutty?” Logan asked, grinning slightly. 

“Active” Nico corrected hastily. “It's just… Being here, I met some people and someone asked me if you were really going to swear off women, seeing as-”. 

Logan got up and cut him off. “Please stop worrying about other people so much… For someone so cynical you sure are naive sometimes…”. 

Nico swallowed and looked away. This was too embarrassing. “Alright, but still… Are you sure? You’ve been with a lot more women than men, right?” he asked carefully. 

Logan’s hurt turned into mischief. “Yeah, but that’s just because most men can’t handle me. They’re probably intimidated by my strong, independent personality”. He shook his head in exaggerated disappointment. 

Nico huffed. It was either annoyance or amusement. Probably both. He wasn’t sure. He wasn’t really sure about anything right about now. Still, Logan was actually making sense somehow… 

“Look, Spooky, I promise you are more than stimulating enough for me. Seriously, who else would be stupid enough to ask me all these super offensive questions? Exciting as hell right…? And… I haven't been with anyone else in almost a year. Not even when you dumped me! Truth is, I've got my hands full with just you”. 

Nico looked down. Yeah. He definitely believed that. “I'm really sorry-” he started, forcing his eyes back up. 

“Don't be” Logan interrupted. 

“No, seriously. I'm sorry I keep doing this to you” Nico continued. “You could have had a normal relationship…” he sighed. 

Logan gave him a deeply offended look. “First off, how dare you imply I'd be into that. That's the meanest thing you've ever said to me. Second, that's probably also the biggest fucking lie you've ever told me”. 

Yeah. Fair. 

They smiled awkwardly at each other. 

“Next time just tell people to ask me that stuff directly. Part of me hopes they actually will”. Logan grinned deviously. 

Nico looked away again. “Yeah…”. 

Logan pulled him in. “Thanks for being upfront with me. I'm glad you dared to ask. I shouldn't have made it so hard on you”. 

Nico rested the side of his head against Logan's. Fuck nosy people, they can all eat shit. 

“You gotta trust me… and be a little more confident, you hot weirdo”. 

Nico laughed. “Yeah, I'll work on it”. 

Logan drummed his fingers on Nico's back. “Who was it?” he asked with a good attempt at a reassuring smile. 

Logan truly was like the sun, Nico realized as he watched the bright orange flicker. Eyes that could sustain all life on earth with their warmth when he smiled, hiding a very real threatening explosion so enormous it could just as easily wipe out the entire planet, and the seven around it… 

“I'm not telling you, this was bad enough. Mark hit him in the head already anyway” Nico tried in a mildly desperate attempt to appease him. 

Logan hummed. “Greg. That tracks”. 

Nico pursed his lips. “Please don't make this worse” he tried, a lot more desperately. 

Logan cocked his head a little. “Oh, don't worry. I'm just going to say hello. Catch up. Ask him some questions. You know? Just to clear some things up”. 

Nico didn't respond right away. 

“Please don't…” he repeated, down to begging now. 

Logan kissed him on the cheek. “I would never start a fight at a wedding, let alone my brother's. I'm not that trashy”. He patted Nico on the shoulder as he walked past him. “Not a physical fight anyway…” he added quietly. 

Nico debated staying here for a bit. 

He heard Logan shout cheerfully behind him. “Hey Greg, I wanna clear some things up with you real quick!”. 

Yeah, he was definitely staying here for a bit. 

“Are you seriously trying to run away, you fucking coward?!”. 

The moon looked beautiful from where he was standing. He smiled to himself. The moment didn't last. 

He heard a crash in the background. A woman screamed. Logan cackled. 

Alright… Guess that was the end of his little escape. He turned around and walked over, a little slower than his usual pace. 

He saw Greg sitting on the ground a little further away, a woman was fussing over him. She handed him a beer bottle. Greg pressed it to one side of his face. 

Nico walked up to Logan's side and scowled at him. 

Logan put up his hands defensively. “I didn't even touch him. He tripped over a chair”. 

Nico looked over again. There was a broken chair laying in front of Greg. Guess that checked out. “Still…” Nico started, disapproval clearly audible. 

“Yeah… Terrible shame” Logan said in agreement. “Watching that chair take him out like a pro… It made me realize that was probably my favourite chair…”. He pulled out his phone and took a picture of the scene. “I'll always remember its sacrifice” he said solemnly, looking at the picture. 

Nico shoved him. Logan seemed unfazed. 

Nico glanced at Logan's phone. He did a double take. “Is your background picture a pug on a skateboard…?” he asked. 

Logan grinned. “Yeah it’s a reminder to be more hateful” he replied casually. “I figured you wouldn't want me to use a picture of you” he added more seriously. 

Nico got caught off guard a little. “At this point I'd rather you use anything other than that Goddamn dog” he said with a cool tone. 

Logan smiled. He messed around a bit with his phone and quickly put it away. Nico could only catch a glimpse. He recognized the picture Logan had sent to him once. A warm feeling came over him. He grabbed Logan's hand. 

Mark seemed to have appeared out of thin air at their side. Nico only noticed him when he heard him sigh deeply. Mark looked at Greg, then at Logan. 

Logan gestured at the chair. “I'll pay for that”. 

Mark smiled and nudged Logan's chin with his fist. “No, don't want you to. Not your fault... I'll just see it as a tax for having Greg at my wedding… Drunk asshat…”. 

Logan gave him an appreciative look. “Thanks for hitting him”. 

Mark glanced at Nico. “You snitched on me on my big day? Snake…” he huffed. 

Nico shrugged. “It was a cute story” he said “Thought it might help Logan calm down”. 

Mark and Logan snorted in unison. 

Mark slapped his upper legs. “I'll go send Greg home. Time to wrap up anyway…”. 

They got the hint. 

“Alright, we've caused enough damage here. We'll get out of your hair. Unless you need help of course” Nico said. 

“Don't worry about the clean up, we've got people for that”. Mark smiled fondly. “Thanks for coming, both of you. I'll treasure the memories…” He jabbed Logan in the arm. “Send me that picture”. 

They grinned at each other. Nico lifted his hand. The shadows dripped down the walls, all over them.

They stepped out of the shadow of Gwen’s fridge, the darkest corner of her kitchen. Logan undid another button. Nico glanced down and smiled appreciatively at his chest, and lack of Goddamn tie… 

-------

Thank you for reading!! ;) All 24 chapters are out on AO3, if you feel like reading more. Do make sure to read the tags and warnings to see if it’s what you’re in for (!): Strife - Chapter 1 - CryingCircusConductor - Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan [Archive of Our Own]

Sidenote, I'm going to give up on trying to not make this ending/link promo look copy pasted, because honestly? It is, lol... :') And I'm probably just drawing more attention to it by thinking long and hard for a new smiley and nr of exclamation marks...

[cryingcircusconductor]

[PJO] Strife: XVII. Old flames in the campfire

All warnings are spoilers: Jealousy, embarrassing photo (implied), crying, walking in on people having sex (not explicit), mention of cheating (not perpetrated by main cast members!), sunglasses gore.

-------

The campgrounds were almost unrecognizable. Linen drapery hung across the entire area between the cabins, forming a large, flowy tent. Grecian couches in all colours formed various circles on the sides. Olive branches and other greenery decorated the large poles keeping up the whole facade. Even the mounted boar’s head guarding the Ares cabin was dressed for the occasion, wearing a neat little top hat.

The silenus, possibly even the Silenus, manning the DJ booth at the far end was already so drunk he was practically sprawled out over the turntables. Nymphs raved to the heavy beat and random scratches under the flute music, adorning guests with wreaths and coaxing them to join. Satyrs with bowties skipped among the hustle and bustle, juggling bottles and fruits. 

Demigods of all ages mingled in cheerful chatter. As age increased, the number of limbs and eyes steadily declined. Nico scanned all faces carefully, looking for a familiar one. 

“Are you in there?” Logan whispered in his ear, cutting him off on his trail of thoughts. 

“No” Nico replied dryly, swatting at his ear. He sighed. “It’s just… I'm kinda hoping we don't run into…” he stopped. 

Logan narrowed his eyes. “Will? I thought you told me you guys made up?” he asked. He glanced around. 

The nymph next to him froze. She pulled back her wreath to hide from his fiery scowl and backed away.  

Nico shook his head. “No, not Will. Nevermind”. 

Logan narrowed his eyes further, puzzling so hard Nico could almost feel it. “Jackson? But, you're friends right?”. 

Nico closed his eyes and sighed. “It's complicated”. He waved it away with his hand, hoping he'd let it go. He didn't know why he hoped that, of course he wasn't going to let it go. 

“Everything about you is always complicated. You manage pretty well, anyway. Why make a big deal out of this one?”. 

Nico clenched his eyes shut harder. No more waving, he straight up stabbed the air a few times. “I'm not making a big deal out of it! I'm just hoping-!”. 

He stopped himself and opened his eyes. Another nymph hurried away, wreath under her arm.

“Alright, it's just… I've been a massive asshole to him, just a few times too many…” he explained quietly. 

“Oh? Are you meaner to him than you are to me? Should I be worried?” Logan pried. 

Nico bit his lower lip in annoyance. “Believe me, no one compares to you. You bring out the very worst in me…”. 

Logan looked pleased with himself. “So, what's the big deal? He'd probably like to hear from you”. 

Nico felt the annoyance build up further. “I'm not gonna talk to him…!”. 

Logan side-eyed him. “Let me guess. You're too emo to deal with all your ‘love him or hate him’ feelings, so you're just avoiding him?”. 

Yeah… Pretty much… Nico shot him a defeated look. “Sue me”. 

Logan returned a reassuring smile. “Look, I get that the context makes it one hell of a mindfuck, but… There's definitely worse ways to find out you're gay than Jackson, right? He's objectively cool” Logan weighed. 

Nico thought about it. True. But, that was kinda the point, the ‘context’ was hard to ignore. “Why? Is your gay origin story worse?” he asked. 

Logan laughed quietly to himself. “No way. Can't top yours. Nobody died in mine…”. He seemed a little lost in thought. “Guess my weird feelings for the red Ninja Turtle back when I was six don't count, right?”. 

Nico huffed. He hoped not… He wasn't exactly dying to share his childhood fascination with the Ares Mythomagic figurine. For many reasons. “No, not good enough” he declared. 

Logan thought about it a bit longer. A smile crept over his face. “There was this handsome asshole in middle school. Typical bully. Always picking on me for the way I dressed. That sort of impressed me. Most people didn't dare. He started hitting me at some point, I started hitting on him... Once he caught on, he left me alone right away” he snickered. 

Nico smiled. Whatever he'd been expecting, it should have been this. Anyway, nobody died, but still, complicated enough. He got him now. “And if you saw that guy now you'd be happy to catch up with him?” he asked accusatorily. As he said it he immediately realized that, yeah… He probably would. 

Logan looked at him like he was stupid. “Yeah! Maybe he could punch me in the face, for old times sake” he said, only barely joking. 

“You're proving my point here. You're definitely the weird one this time” Nico concluded. 

Logan pursed his lips. “Fine. Maybe”. He nudged him, then made his way into the crowd.

Nico debated staying put. Maybe he could hide behind a tree until the reunion was over? He groaned, then followed after him. 

-

Yan brightened up when she saw them. The young man in the smart looking polo shirt standing next to her looked horrified as she jumped into Logan's arms. 

“Hey, guys!” she said excitedly, dropping back onto her feet. “This is my boyfriend” she said with exaggerated heaviness, carefully readjusting her wreath. 

Her boyfriend looked as pissed off as he did terrified while he shook Logan's hand. 

Logan gave him a bright smile, maybe as a small peace offering. “Hey, Logan” he stated. 

“Yeah, I was afraid so. Hey, Richard” Richard offered in return. The joking tone he tried to put on did not mask the bitterness in it one bit. 

Logan’s smile widened a little, a mischievous spark flickered through his eyes. “Funny! I actually already thought you looked like a Dick” he said casually. 

Nico and Yan elbowed him from both sides. 

“Ha, yeah… I prefer Richard…” he replied, not even trying to hide the bitterness this time. 

Nico pulled Logan against him, ready for the Sisyphian task of keeping him out of trouble. Logan immediately put an arm around him, way lower than he was supposed to… 

“Nico, Logan's handler” Nico offered. He swatted Logan's hand away before he could travel down even further and reached out to Richard. 

“Oh…!” Richard let out. He lit up immediately, smiling brightly. He gave Nico's hand a transparently firm shake. “Great to meet you!” he said loudly. 

Yeah, a great relief I bet… Nico smiled back, not fully able to suppress a mean little edge in the corner of his mouth. 

Yan clung onto Richard’s arm, smiling nervously. “Hey, so… Want to hear something fun? Richard speaks Italian!”. 

Nico perked up. Interesting? 

Before he could say anything, Richard snorted. “Well I am Italian, baby” he reiterated, smugly amused. 

Nico gave him an inquisitive look. “Ah sì? Da quale parte d'Italia vieni?”. 

Richard's eyes went wide for a second. He immediately regained his composure, sticking his hands in his pockets. “Sì, sì… Nonna, uh, bene…”. 

Nico nodded slowly. “Molto interessante…”. Another, much sharper edge curled at the corner of his mouth. He glanced over at Yan, looking up at Richard with clear adoration, and obviously clueless when it came to Italian… He looked back at Richard's forced polite smile. Guess it's your lucky day, Casanova. “Let's just stick to English. For the others…” he offered. 

Richard nodded, pretending to have the option to even consider it. “Right, right…”. 

Logan cocked his head. For a second Nico was afraid he’d caught on somehow. If he had, there was no way he’d keep quiet about it. Nico was sure about that… If he had, he proved Nico wrong. 

“I heard you also study art history. I bet that comes in handy”. 

Richard shrugged casually. “Yeah, well… Mostly for the dusty stuff. I’m more into contemporary, underground art”. 

The rest of the  conversation steered towards various artists with very complicated sounding names. Nico had never heard of any of them, and frankly didn’t manage to muster up much interest. 

After what felt like a lecture, Richard excused himself. Nico took a last look at Richard’s relieved face as he disappeared into the crowd. 

“Lo…?” Yan started carefully. “What do you think?”. 

Oof. 

Logan shot him a mildly nervous look. Nico returned one. 

Logan took in a breath, ready to face her. “Yeah, cute name… Artsy, smart... And he seems a little… How should I say this… Insecure?”. 

Yan managed to look angry and embarrassed at the same time. She pouted. “He’s not usually like that! And… I really like him” she said a little desperately, almost pleading. 

Logan gave her a genuine smile, putting up his hands. “That’s all I care about”. He reached out his hands. 

She smiled through her pout as she pressed herself against him. 

“I’ll try harder…” Logan offered. 

She squeezed him, then gave Nico a questioning look. The same one she’d given Logan just moments ago. 

“I’m not getting mixed up in this” he warned, leaning away a bit. 

Yan sighed. “Why can’t relationships be easy?” she complained, letting her head fall back dramatically. “I’m going to say hi to Kayla and Austin” she followed up, still a little grumbly. 

“Have fun, buddy”. Logan tugged onto a strand of her hair. 

With a hint of a smile, she returned Nico’s short wave goodbye. 

Logan shifted uncomfortably next to him. “People can learn to love each other, right?” he asked. 

Nico took a deep breath. When it came to Richard? There were many impossible things in this world that he doubted less… But, who was he to make this harder for everyone? Hell, he depended more than anyone on people not holding on to first impressions… 

“Sure” he hoped out loud. “And even if they can’t, at least they can learn to speak Italian…” he muttered through the sharp edge in the corner of his mouth. 

Logan shifted again, all in frustration this time. “I fucking knew it…”.

“I don’t think we should tell her. She’s clearly crazy about him” Nico urged.

Logan gave him an agonizing look. “I have to”.

“No you don't” Nico assured.

Logan scowled, opening his mouth to protest.

“No, no…” Nico interjected, waving his hands. “I mean, I'll do it”.

Logan smiled gratefully. “Thanks, Spooky” he muttered with an affectionate jab in the upper arm. “You’re the best”.

Nico smiled faintly, hoping Yan would agree enough not to downright hate him after spilling tea all over her boyfriend… 

-

Loud laughter pulled his eyes onto a tall young man in the centre of a large group. Though not quite as young as he remembered, the messy jet-black hair and pretty sea green eyes left no doubt just exactly who he was. He proudly held up a baby, short blonde curls with sea green eyes. The infant squeaked in glee as he blew a raspberry on its tummy.

“I’m going to find Yan” Nico threw over his shoulder, going the opposite direction. He didn’t hear a response, over the sound of his heartbeat in his ears. 

It took him a while to find her. In fact, since he couldn’t really focus on looking, it was her who found him.

Yan grasped his wrist. “Hey!” she chimed, pulling him to a stop. She looked him over. “Are you okay?”.  

“Yeah!” Nico assured, trying to forget the first predicament so he could brace for the next one. “But, uh. Yan, I need to tell you something…”.

Yan’s expression turned serious. “Well, first I need to tell you something”. She turned deadly serious. “If you hurt him again, I'll kill you…”. She put up three fingers. “Three arrows”. Her finger went down from her eye, to her heart, to her… Oh. 

Nico put up his hands in surrender. “Yan, I promise. If I do, you won't even have to. I'll do it for you”. 

She pursed her lips and put her hands on her hips in contemplation. “Okay. Good!”. She clapped her hands excitedly. “Aaah! I'm so excited for you guys! And now that that's out of the way…!”. She stopped herself, put up her hands and shook her head. 

“What?” Nico asked. 

Yan's lips curled into an evil little smirk. “Nooo… It's just, uh…”. She inspected her nails, pouting smugly. “Called it… You liar”. 

Nico sighed a sigh fit for theatre. “Yeah, yeah. You're a genius. I didn't even mean to lie. You just knew before I did…”. 

Yan cupped her ear. “Wait, I didn't catch that. What did you just call me?”. 

Nico snorted, leaning in. “This is beneath you, genius” he scolded. “And just so you know, we call you that all the time behind your back” he added with feigned venom. 

Yan cocked her head, clearly touched. “You do?”. 

Nico half smiled. “Well, in our defense, It's true”. His half smile filled out. “So… Is that why you asked if I was coming? So you could threaten me and gloat?”.

“No!” Yan screeched in offense. “I missed you!”. 

“Sorry, I know that” Nico chuckled. “I missed you too. Seriously, it’s your fault I showed up here…”.

Yan smirked proudly. “So, what did you need to tell me?”.

Shit. Time to ruin the moment. “Right” Nico started strongly. “About Richard…” he went on much much weaker. Man, he hated doing this to her… 

Yan shifted a little nervously. “Hm?”. 

Nico followed her example, twisting his ring a few times. “Here’s the thing. His Italian… It’s, uh”. He wagged his hand at her a few times, trying to come up with the right words. “Well, it’s dogshit…” he offered in the palm of his hand. 

Yan popped her lips, nodding slowly. A bright pink blush seeped into her cheeks. She glanced up at him. “Does Lo know?”. 

Nico sucked in his lips. 

Yan deflated, almost letting her shoulders drop to the ground. “Noooo~! He already doesn’t like him…” she groaned. 

“Well… But, he didn’t use to like me either, right?” Nico countered. 

Yan pursed her lips as high as she could, the corners of her mouth twitched into the smallest little smile. “Nico, I swear to the Gods, if Lo steals my boyfriend… I’ll rub those words in your face every single day for the rest of your life”.

Nico put a hand over his heart. “Ha! Sure! Yan, I promise. If Logan runs off with Richard I’ll marry you right then and there”. 

Despite the scathing sarcasm, he truly meant it. One of the easiest promises he’d ever made. After all… He might as well promise to never become a pug breeder. 

Yan cupped his cheeks, throwing her head back dramatically. “Oh! That’s the most romantic thing anyone’s ever said to me~!”. 

She puckered her lips at him, pretending to go in for a kiss. Nico squeezed them between his fingers. She laughed through his grip.  

Nico noticed a young woman walk up to Logan and greet him excitedly. He seemed happy to see her too. She hugged him. He hugged her back. They must know each other, Nico reckoned. 

Nico smiled to himself. He was happy he wasn't a jealous person, because this young woman was particularly beautiful, her smile especially. She seemed to be doing that a lot, smiling. That made sense. Logan was kind of a sociable person in his own way, they probably had a lot of catching up to do. 

With the alleged amount of Logan's previous escapades it wouldn't be healthy to worry about it anyway. And he didn't, he trusted Logan completely… She leaned in to Logan and whispered something in his ear. He seemed happy to hear it. 

Nico decided to go introduce himself. He turned to Yan, gesturing at them. “I'm just going to…”. Her knowing grin pulled him out of his facade. “Yeah, shut up…” he huffed as he walked off. 

He moved to Logan's side casually, put his hand on his chin, turned him to him and gave him a quick kiss. Just slightly harder than he'd actually meant to. 

Logan seemed a little surprised but almost instantly regained himself. “Speak of the devil!” he chuckled. He pulled Nico against his shoulder and gestured at him with his other hand. “So this is Nico” he said proudly. 

Nico felt his face heat up. 

The woman smiled her beautiful smile at him. “Hi! I'm Kim! An old friend of Logan” she said cheerfully. 

Nico stuck up a hand. “Hi, nice to meet you!”. Now that he had Logan's arm around him, he meant it. He was so distracted by that arm, in fact, that the rest of the conversation was kind of a blur. Kim seemed nice though. 

She leaned in a bit, looking at Logan intently. “There's some other people I have to tell” she said in a hush tone. 

Logan smiled back at her. “Yeah! I bet! It was great to see you, Kim” he said warmly. “Tons of luck” he added. 

She smiled, looked at Nico and seemed to mull something over. She quickly flashed a ring with a very promising, sparkly rock on her finger. She signaled to keep quiet, and winked. Nico smiled widely and stuck up a thumb. Kim sped off. 

“She seems nice” Nico declared. 

“Oh, she is. She's great” Logan replied “I'm happy for her!” he added with a smile. 

Nico looked at him for a second. “Old friend?” he asked. 

“Yep” Logan replied with a mischievous glint in his eyes. 

“Lucky you” Nico said, trying to sound sly. 

Logan narrowed his eyes a little. “... Are you… Jealous?” he asked apprehensively. 

Nico kept a poker face, the heat in his cheeks started melting it. He looked away, making Logan laugh. 

“Oh, Gods. You're giving me so much ammo here” he teased. 

Nico turned around with a painful look before he could stop himself, visibly stunning Logan. 

“Hey, I'm sorry” Logan started. Nico hated how serious he sounded. “I won't go there” he assured, throwing up his hands. His eyes quickly darted to a few women scattered among the crowd, his fingers rapping against his arm. 

Nico sighed. That poor sweet moron. “No, I'm sorry. I wish I wasn’t this weak” he sighed. A genuine smile took some of the weight off of his words. 

Logan smiled back. “Right, weak is probably the last word I'd use to describe you” he said, slapping Nico on the shoulder. 

Nico inhaled deeply. “Just so you know, I'm fine with everything and everyone from your past. I'm also glad you all still get along. It's even fine if you talk about it, I'm happy you do actually… But please just don't use it to mess with me. That's all”. 

Logan nodded. “Promise”. He grinned, staring at Nico for a bit. 

“What?” Nico asked warily. 

“Just proud of you” Logan shrugged. “Confronting people, sharing and setting healthy boundaries” he said with some exaggeration, nodding along. He held out a fist for a fistbump. 

Nico closed his eyes in annoyance and took a deep breath. He quickly nudged his fist with his to get it over with. “Yan took it pretty well, by the way. We might be getting married next summer”.

“Good!” Logan said brightly. “Am I invited?”

“Only if you take Richard” Nico told him sternly.

“Pass” Logan scoffed, all brightness out of his smile.

Nico held up his hand and clenched his fist dramatically. He hissed in feigned disappointment. “Guess we’ll have to cancel the wedding…”.

Yan wedged herself between their elbows. She glanced up at each of them, mild concern in her smile. “What’s this about cancelled weddings? Are you guys okay?”.

“Just scaring away some ex-girlfriends” Nico assured, gesturing at Kim jumping for joy alongside another young woman. 

“Exes? Kim? No~! She was Logan's first kiss. They were like… Thirteen” Yan said reassuringly. 

Nico grinned. “She's the one you cut up with your braces?” he asked, turning to Logan. 

“Yep, and she didn’t even care! What a trooper…” Logan said fondly. 

Yan giggled. “Yeah, just like every other girl that dared to kiss you!”. 

“Ha!” Logan scoffed. “What about all the poor guys that you made sit through hours of improv theatre?”.

“You can't talk to me that way! I supported you even with your stupid tongue piercing!” Yan complained, poking him… 

Logan shot her a menacing grin. “That's nothing! I stuck with you through your whole ‘scene’ era. Even during the crimped, racoon tail sidebangs!”. 

Panic shone through Yan's pokerface. “Those were iconic. You were so honored to witness that”. 

Logan's grin turned straight evil. “Okay then! Let's honor everyone else too. I still have the pictures”. He took his phone out of his pocket and went to work. 

Yan grimaced and clamped onto him, desperately clawing at his phone. 

He held it up, slightly out of reach. “You really thought I'd let you destroy all evidence?! These are going to be passed on for centuries!”. 

Nico took a step back just to be safe… 

Yan jumped up as high as she could a few times, gave up and climbed onto Logan. She aggressively shoved her hand in his face and pushed herself upward, grabbing the phone. “Ha!” she wheezed out, dropping herself onto the ground. They watched her run off, laughing maniacally. 

“Does she have your code?” Nico asked. 

Logan shoved his hands into his pockets. “Yeah” he said, suspiciously unbothered. “But, she has no idea how many backups I have”. The evil grin returned to his face. 

Nico looked at Yan squatting behind a couch in the distance, feverishly at work on the phone. Poor thing…

They weren’t the only ones watching her. Nico looked away from her to glance aside the same time Will did, meeting his eyes. 

Oh. “Hi…!” Nico greeted awkwardly. He gestured to Logan. “So, uh… You've met at camp before, right?” he asked nervously. 

The air was tense. Will glared at Logan. Logan smirked demonically and walked closer. A little too close. Way too close. He stopped right in front of his face. 

“Logan…” Will spat. 

“Will… Long time no see” Logan mused. He grabbed Will's shirt right below his neck. 

“Not long enough” Will responded, unsheathing a dagger. 

“Woahah! Hold on!” Nico stammered, throwing up his hands. 

Will and Logan broke eye contact and burst out laughing. Logan slapped Will on the shoulder amicabally, almost knocking him over. He grinned widely and turned to Nico. “You should have seen your face”. 

Will smiled at Nico, rubbing his shoulder. “We talked earlier, we figured we'd play a little prank on you” he said apologetically. 

Nico was at a loss for words, too relieved to think straight. Then he got his nerve back. “You guys are the worst. No wonder I dumped both of you” he quipped.  

Will pursed his lips “That was a mutual decision!”. A tone of hurt rang through his voice. 

Logan turned to Will. “He broke up with me through a piece of paper” he said with distaste. 

“No way!” Will said in disbelief. He gave Nico an astonished look. “You didn't tell me that when you came crying to me that night!”. 

Crap! His attempt at getting back at them was backfiring spectacularly. 

Logan looked at Nico, then at Will. It seemed to hit him. “Right! You're the one that got him to come crawling back to me!” he said excitedly. 

“Darn right!” Will responded with glee. 

They gave each other a high five. 

“Alright, alright!” Nico said, putting his hands up. “You two are getting way too chummy”. 

Will put his hands in his sides, pleased with his results. “So” he started. “How’s Aphrodite’s mission going?”

Nico took a deep breath. He sighed out his entire answer.

-

A thick bunch of brown curls on a tall frame stuck out above the other heads. Nico’s suspicion was confirmed when two cold grey eyes found his. Amira marched right over. People instinctively made way.

“Hello” she greeted. “Good to see you” she added with a faint smile to both of them.

“You too” Nico replied with a smile. “How are you doing?”.

“Still alive” she reported. “How about you two?”.

“Same” Logan returned. 

Nico shrugged in agreement. Amira nodded. They stared at each other in silence… They kept staring. In silence. Nico sucked in his lips, not nearly as comfortable as Logan or Amira seemed with the awkwardness.

Amira turned all her apathy to Logan. “Megan asked how you were doing. She seemed nervous”.

Logan cocked his head. “Megan? Nervous…? I mean, I'm not great, but that's got fuck all to do with her. I haven't seen her in ages. How is she doing?”.

Amira’s eyebrows lowered a notch. “I don't know. Busy, she told me”.

Aha… Even the awkwardness itself fell silent. 

Yan stepped out of the crowd. They looked at her. Nico couldn’t tell if she was looking at them, her glasses were fully fogged up. Tears ran down her cheeks. She was obviously not alright. 

“Are you alright, Yan?” Nico asked anyway. 

“I broke up with Richard”. Her lip trembled. 

“Oh…” they all responded. 

Nico sucked in his lips and bit down. Shit! Why did he have to tell her…?! He looked at Amira. She looked as stoic as always. Yeah… No help there. Logan just frowned. Aha. Not much help either, then… Nico looked back at Yan. What do you even say…? 

Not much apparently. Logan got up and stretched out his arms. Yan waddled into his embrace, burying her face in his chest. Logan picked her up and pressed her against him, putting his chin on the top of her head. “Now why'd you do that if you like him so much?” he asked. 

Yan started sobbing, her legs dangling listlessly. “He ~ Cheated ~ On ~ Me” she hicced. 

Oh… That fucking-! 

Logan's expression went dark, a low burning fire in his eyes. “Did he now…?” he growled. 

Yan grasped at his back, holding him tightly. 

“I'll rip his head off if you want” Logan grumbled, obviously not completely joking. “Or his nuts” he added, letting up a little, but still probably not joking as much as he should be. 

Yan let out a wet sounding laugh. 

Amira grabbed Nico's wrist and gestured to the other side of the tent. He nodded. They should probably give them some privacy, they weren't really helping. Amira stuck up a thumb to Logan. He gave them an apologetic wave.

Nico blew out all tension. Amira looked at him in stoic agreement. Nico didn’t know what to say, so he didn’t. Amira kept looking at him in even more stoic agreement.

“I’ll go and get Shane” Amira offered. She strutted off without even waiting for a reply.

Yeah. Alright. That would be a relief, actually. Amira and him didn’t really complement each other when it came to small talk he’d found out.

-

Nico waited. He waited faster. What’s taking Amira so long? His workplace is right there…! He stared at the dilapidated little hut off in the distance through a slit in the drapes. 

The distance started shrinking. 

Before he knew it, he’d knocked on the door. No response. Were they even there? He pushed on the doorhandle and let himself in. 

He obviously wasn't supposed to. 

Amira and Shane pulled their faces apart to look at him. She sat on top of him on his wonky deskchair, straddling him between her thighs. Shane's shirt was up to his chin. Amira's hair was a mess. She raised two thin eyebrows in just a hint of surprise and firmly grasped the top of her blouse, pulling it closed. Shane quickly moved his hands off her hips, hiding his nipples under them. 

Nobody said anything. Nobody kept saying anything.

“I'll wait outside” Nico croaked out. He took a step back and shut the door so quickly he almost slammed it in his own face. 

Amira came out, her blouse buttoned up like nothing happened. “I’m sorry. I got sidetracked” she offered flatly. 

“Yeah…” I noticed. Nico almost couldn't keep a straight face. “Uh… Sorry for barging in on…” his hands tried to finish the sentence, then gave up. 

Amira seemed unfazed. When Nico didn't continue, she did. “I like them happy and easygoing” she stated. “Much more obedient”. 

Nico sucked in his lips. “You really don't have to explain…”. 

Amira nodded. “We’ll be right over. We still have to sanitize the-”.

“Yeah, cool!” Nico quickly interrupted with a dismissive gesture. He closed his eyes trying to shield himself from the mental image of whatever mess they might have to clean. He walked off. 

-

Yan’s still puffy face greeted him with moist, pink surprise, waiting where he’d stood only minutes ago. Gods was he jealous of Nico from minutes ago….

“You look like you've seen an eidolon!” Yan chirped hoarsely out from under Logan’s arm. 

Nico snorted. “I fucking wish! I saw something much worse. I saw Shane and Amira… Doing it…”. 

He got two puzzled looks back. 

“Them…?” Logan asked. 

Yan wasn’t as good at these types of puzzles. “Doing what?”. 

They both looked at her, she looked at both of them. 

“... It” Nico reiterated. 

Logan's dirty grin seemed to help her find the final piece. “Oh! Oh, ew! Are you serious?!”. Another tear ran down her disgusted expression.

Logan pushed her back onto the couch behind her. She curled up on it, lifting her cheek on his lap when he sat down next to her. Nico carefully dropped down on the other side.

Shane’s awkward grin appeared in the slit in the drapes. It turned even more awkward when he took in Yan’s lack of composure. He stopped and quickly glanced at Nico for answers, raising his eyebrows. Nico slowly shook his head. Don’t ask, he projected into him with his eyes. Shane held up a hand in quiet understanding and pushed himself up on the back of the opposite couch. He lost a shoe halfway through his barrel roll over it. The couch wheezed loudly with his landing.  

Amira marched in and set herself down next to him. She turned sideways and stretched out her legs, firmly placing her feet in Shane's lap. 

Everyone stared at her. 

She rested her cheek on her hand, gazing over them with an extra sharp eyebrow. “I know all of you know by now”. 

Shane leaned back, resting the back of his head against his hands. He gave them a proud smile. “Go on, congratulate me” he said, beckoning them with a hand. He took a pair of sunglasses out of his back pocket and slowly put them on, letting out a low, smug laugh all the while. It would have looked more impressive if one of the lenses hadn't fallen out… 

Amira put a foot under his chin, nudging him in a clear warning. Shane shut up immediately. 

“So… You two?” Logan asked with a grin. 

Shane grinned back at him. “She likes that I'm good at following instructions” he shrugged. “And I like being told how much she likes that” he added with a dirty grin. He sat up straight. Then moved his hand down in front of his face, revealing a stoic expression, one raised eyebrow and his lips in a straight line. “Very good” he stated without any emotion. 

They all burst out laughing. 

Even Amira’s usually cold grey eyes showed a glint of amusement. “The ‘very’ is an embellishment, and you’ll have to work extra hard next time” she stated, pulling her feet off of him and hugging her knees. 

Yan crossed her arms and dropped down on the couch between them, pushing them further apart. “I can't believe you guys are making me a fifth wheel… I've been around the longest! I'm the glue!” she huffed. 

Amira gave her a stern look over. “What are you talking about? Shane and I are not together, he is just my sexual partner” she stated. 

Shane reiterated her words with a nod and a shrug. 

“Yes, but still…” Yan said disapprovingly. 

“You're free to join” Amira offered without any emotion. 

Shane wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. 

Yan's face turned to stone. “Actually, fifth wheeling is great… I'm really starting to like it” she replied breathlessly. She quickly got up from between them. 

Logan pulled her into his lap. “You'll always be my favourite girl” he soothed. 

She curled up against his shoulder and pouted. 

Nico rubbed her knee apologetically. “Sorry, Yan…”. 

She put her hand on his and smiled through her pout. 

“So… since when?” Nico asked, turning back to Shane and Amira. 

“The summer Shane left camp” Amira replied. 

“No way! That’s more than two years ago!” Logan shouted. 

“And-!” Yan started. “And…! You were still a huntress of Artemis back then…!?” she stammered. 

Amira’s stoic expression turned a little cold. “Yes, they weren’t very happy about my reason to leave. But, in the end it was their choice. I would have stayed had they been more open minded”. 

Yan looked at her in disbelief. “Shane is why you left the hunters?!”. 

Amira shook her head. “No, them forcing me into arbitrary, lifelong vows as an uninformed child is why I left. I was eighteen when I joined, I barely knew anything about the world or even myself at that point. No, Shane was just a vehicle” she declared. 

“Vroom! Vroom!” Shane interjected happily. 

Amira continued, unbothered. “Besides, I still believe they stared themselves blind on a technicality. I swore off love. All of them interpret that as staying away from men altogether, and I respect that choice just fine, but I don’t agree with it. Ironically, they all just turned out to be a bunch of hopeless romantics who don’t see the difference between intimacy and physical needs. I saw no need to align myself with that anymore. Not that I was welcome to stay, after bringing up my concerns… Lady Artemis was very clear”. 

Yan seemed lost. “You gave up your immortality for sex…? I can’t believe that’s why you left…”. 

Logan shrugged. “I can”. Shane bent forward to give him a fist bump. “Wasn’t about you specifically, but sure bud..” Logan muttered. They couldn’t reach each other. 

“Exactly. I’m a free woman. I can do with my body as I please” Amira reiterated. “I won’t give anyone that power over me. Not even lady Artemis”. 

Logan gave her a reassuring smile. She responded with a nod. 

“I can’t believe you guys kept this a secret for two years…” Yan complained. 

Shane side-eyed Amira. “Don’t look at me. I wanted to send out a mass e-mail”. 

She seemed unimpressed. “It has nothing to do with any of you. It made no sense to make a scene” she said firmly. “Not that I mind that you know. If any of you would have asked, I wouldn’t have lied” she added. “Well, It’s getting late. Good night everyone” she commanded. She lifted a foot and looked at Shane expectantly. 

He held it and kissed the top of her ankle. She gave him a faint smile before straightening up and striding off. 

“I'm just using you for sex!” Shane yelled after her. 

The rest of them groaned. 

“Shane! Gross!” Yan shouted at him, pressing her hands against her ears. 

“I know… But, I can’t let her know how much power she has over me…” he muttered, still looking at the door. “Anyway, how lucky am I right?” he asked dreamily. 

“You don’t mind that it’s casual?” Nico asked. 

“Nuhuh. Totally cool with me. I ain’t stupid enough to try to wife that woman, but I sure ain’t stupid enough to turn her down either” Shane replied cheerfully, weighing two invisible options in his hands. “As Aristotle famously said, it’s all about finding the golden mean between the extremes”. 

They all stared at him. 

“I don’t know what’s more disturbing, you knowing literally anything about Aristotle, or you trying to use him to defend your weird situationship… Just… stop it…” Yan warned sternly. 

Nico felt the corner of his mouth curl up a little, threatening to turn into a sharp little edge. “So… Pick up artist, what move did you use?” he asked threateningly casually. 

As expected, Shane took the question completely seriously, visibly going over the events in his head. “Wouldn't know, actually. I’m not any good at these things… I've only romanced like, three people” he processed. “Glasses, Blondie, Mole butt…” he calculated on his fingers. “Yeah, three” he concluded. 

Nico pursed his lips. “... And Amira, right?”. 

Shane grinned. “Yeah, I counted her”. 

Oh, Gods… Gross. 

“Four. You forgot Lo” Yan corrected with a mean little smile. 

Shane's grin died down. “No, I didn't forget him either…”. 

Logan slowly turned to Yan, looking worried. “Please tell me you're not Glasses…?”. 

“No~!” she screeched. “This fifth wheel is still rolling strong!” she added dramatically motioning her arms like train wheels. 

Shane gave Nico a serious nod. “I get why you‘d think I would have more luck with the ladies. Me being in one of the hottest bands out there…”.

Nico didn’t even dare to ask. 

Shane didn’t let that stop him. “You know? Skazon! The Hephaestus cabin Ska band! I play the trombone!” he explained proudly. 

Yan looked at him in astonishment. “You know how to play the trombone?!”. 

Shane looked at her like she was an idiot. “There's no such thing as knowing how to play the trombone, sweetie… You just blow it, if you know what I mean”. He wiggled his eyebrows, pursed his lips and jerked his hand towards his face a few times. Obviously miming… Playing the trombone. 

Yan's face turned to stone. 

“Besides, when it comes to good Ska, the only thing you really play is the fedora anyways. The rest is just filler” Shane explained further, his tone disturbingly serious all of a sudden. He got distracted by a satyr with a platter of mini hamburgers. “Murica!” he chanted loudly, punching the air. He swiped several before the satyr could escape. 

“Shane, aren't you technically Polish?” Yan asked reluctantly.

“As Polish as apple pie” Shane replied proudly, mouth full of hamburgers. 

Nico saw a nervous young man walk up to them, eyes fixed on Yan. He knew that guy… He knew that polo shirt… Logan must have noticed too, because he got up to face him. The young man's eyes widened right before he made a sudden beeline for the bathroom. 

“You owe her a pair of nuts, Dick!” Logan yelled after him. 

Richard sped up his pace. Yan grabbed onto Logan's arm and pulled him back down. 

“I wasn't going to do anything!” he hissed defensively. 

Yan sighed, and shook her head. When she turned back to the conversation Nico could see a faint smile on her lips. It stayed there entire rest of the night.

-------

Thank you for reading!! :D All 24 chapters are out on AO3, if you feel like reading more. Do make sure to read the tags and warnings to see if it’s what you’re in for (!): Strife - Chapter 1 - CryingCircusConductor - Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan [Archive of Our Own]

[cryingcircusconductor]

[PJO] Strife: XVI. Sentimental garbage

All warnings are spoilers: Dead birds (!) somewhat explicit described, Shame, guilt, insecurity, mild tongue stuff, mild biting, dog discrimination.

-------

Despite the cramp in his neck, Nico tried to keep it as still as possible, afraid Logan might pull his arm out from under it if he didn’t. He stared at his own fingers tracing a long faded scar on the palm of Logan's hand, light as a feather. It was nearly invisible in the dim early morning light, but he remembered every detail of it since the first time he’d taken the time to notice it. For safekeeping. He kept going when he ran out of scar, tracing all the curves and edges around it, careful not to miss a single detail. 

Logan's hands always knew how to draw his attention. Not too big, nor too small, but just right. Sturdy. Strong. A little rough. The type of hands that got work done. At any cost, as the many scars on them underlined. Perfectly imperfect. None of that even came close to his favourite part about them, though. He slowly locked their fingers together, savoring the warmth. 

Logan curled up his fingers and gently ran his thumb over the back of Nico's hand, probably still asleep. He’d slept through the entire night. That hadn’t happened even a single time so far.

Nico had been surprised about it. All night long. He couldn’t sleep. Too much to process, so he hadn’t even bothered to start. Worries littered over the relief he felt. How was he going to fix all this? Could he even fix this? Not for himself, he found out. He was never going to trust himself again… Then again, had he ever? Not that important. Logan had… Had… Nico needed to push the air out of his lungs by force. His chest almost trembled under the pressure. 

Logan tightened his grip on his hand. Nico felt Logan’s nose trail up from the crook of his neck, stopping right behind his ear. “You’re going to break my fingers” he mumbled right into it. Underneath the drowsiness, his tone was almost impressed. 

Nico fidgeted his hand free and turned over to face him. “Sor-” he started.

Logan’s disapproving groan crashed against his lips. “Shut up” he ordered, pulling barely an inch away. He wrapped his arms around his back. “Stop brooding. Just go to sleep” he added more softly, almost a whisper. He rubbed their noses together before settling back down.

Nico carefully slid his arms under Logan’s. He felt his heart beat against his chest, calm and steady. He slowly lost count.

-

All the brooding picked right back up hours later, as they stood on the porch, staring out at nothing in particular. Nico had countless memories of scenes exactly like this one. He never expected to be lucky enough to get to stand here again, shoulder to shoulder, in comfortable silence, hearing the flicks of a lighter for the second time that day… It was painfully familiar.

Nico decided to ask what he hadn't dared to yesterday night. “So you got back into smoking to spite me?”. He wished he was even remotely as bitter as he'd managed to sound. The guilt hiding underneath his words was much harder to deal with than just being a selfish asshole. 

Each time he watched Logan light a cigarette, every voice in his head reminded him that he had no right to be angry at him for breaking his promise. After all, Nico had been the one who'd practically done it for him, with the amount of bullshit he'd putten him through… 

Logan didn’t buy his cold attitude either, ripping his whole façade down with a single reassuring smile. “Nah, Spooky. Not everything I do s’about you, you know?” he said, clearly trying to sound sly. He tucked his lighter away and took a drag. “Trauma therapy is hitting hard. Probably would have fallen off the wagon regardless…” he said a lot more quietly. 

Trauma therapy…? Nico suppressed a smile. 

“Anyway, there are perks. I get to do drugs now” Logan went on. 

“Ha! That's great!” Nico said with genuine excitement. 

Logan stifled a laugh. Well he tried to. For a bit…

“About therapy” Nico muttered. “Obviously…!”. He nudged him with his hip. 

Logan nudged him back. “Yep, Gods bless the University of Utah, I guess? I thought it would have taken ages, but they've got a whole system for this type of stuff” Logan explained in mild awe. 

“So, is it as bad as you expected?” Nico asked. 

“It's been… Interesting” Logan started, visibly mulling it over. “EMDR is the fucking worst. The medication is hit or miss. Sometimes I feel pretty great, other times…” Logan clenched his teeth and cocked his head. “But that's going to be the dean and counselors’ problem when I go back to college in a few weeks”. 

Nico blinked at him. He blinked even more, suddenly a little affected. “I'm really happy for you”. His tone was much more strained than he wanted it to be. The sniff his body forced on him made sure he wouldn’t come off the wrong way.

Logan exhaled. “Yeah, well, it was about time. Still gotta do pretty much all the work…”. He crossed his arms. 

Nico hummed in agreement. “You'll be fine though. I really think so. You're a crazy strong person”. He felt his face heat up a little. 

“Thanks”. Logan slapped him on his back then gave him a devious look. “So, when are you going to therapy?”. 

Nico's face fell. He tried to move away. 

Logan put his arm around his shoulder and pulled them against each other, foiling his plans. “What's your excuse, huh?” he snickered, putting out his cigarette on the bottom of his shoe. 

Nico knew he was right. 

Annoyingly, Logan obviously knew he was right too. Luckily he let up, letting go of Nico's shoulders. “Hypocrite” he said with a smirk. 

The tension left Nico's back. “I'll think about it” he said. He meant it. “You first, though. Show me some results” he added. 

“Wow! That’s way too much pressure!” Logan complained in exaggerated exasperation. He turned to face Nico, hands in his pockets, eyes narrowed and staring closely into his. “What happened to being so sure I'm going to be fine, hm?”. 

Nico realized he'd talked himself into a corner. He sighed in defeat, then quickly shoved his hands in Logan's back pockets and squeezed. 

“Using sex as a weapon? That's low even for you”. Logan shook his head and sighed dramatically. 

Nico laughed. “We both know you're right. So stop making me squirm already, you sadist. And yes, you are going to be fine”. He squeezed again for dramatic effect. 

Logan smiled faintly, then looked back across Gwen’s backyard. He took a deep, pensive breath. 

Nico carefully slid his hands out of his pockets, not daring to leave them. There was a lot to be ‘pensive’ about since last night. Nico had made sure of that…  “What’s on your mind?” he dreaded out loud.

“I don't understand the hype around skateboards” Logan said deadpan. “Getting all excited over some wheels” he shook his head slowly. “Bunch of cavemen…”. 

Nico cracked up. “That's what you were thinking about?” he asked in disbelief. “Sometimes I forget how deep and poetic you are. It's hard to keep up with you…” he added sarcastically. 

Logan smiled. “C'mon, everybody has something they hate for no good reason. Especially you, I bet. You already hate everything anyway”. 

Nico leaned back and drew a deep breath. He took a minute. “I don't like pugs” he said finally. 

“Pugs?” Logan asked “Like, those chubby, wrinkly, gremlin dogs?” 

Nico drew his lips in a long straight line. “Yeah, the way they look and sound kinda freaks me out. Plus, they've got tons of health issues. They just shouldn't exist”. 

Logan seemed to be thinking. “That's not really the dogs’ fault though. Seems pretty harsh”. 

Nico sighed dramatically. “I'm not going out of my way to be a jerk to pugs! I'm just saying”. He looked at Logan. “Doesn't seem more harsh than hating on people on skateboards”. 

Logan shook his head. “You see, that's just not true. That dog can't help it. It was born that way. Skateboards are a choice. A very, very stupid choice”. 

Nico chuckled quietly and turned away. “Whatever”. He shoved his hands in his coat pockets. He grazed something. Right. “You should probably have this back” he muttered. He held the cigarette butt up between his fingers. 

Logan looked at it with disbelief. “I can't believe you kept that…”. His tone was hard to read. Somewhere between hurt, surprise and tenderness? He took it. “Why didn't you throw it away?” he asked, almost accusatorily. 

Nico shrugged. It's not that he didn't know exactly why, it just hurt. 

“I'll get rid of it…”. Logan scowled at it before shoving it into his pocket. 

Nico pursed his lips. Made sense, but still… 

“Sorry, but I don't want you getting all sentimental over literal garbage… It doesn't suit you” Logan said a little sternly. He nudged him with his shoulder. “I'll get you something nicer” he mused, running his hand through Nico's hair. 

Dumbass. You really shouldn’t… “Like what? A Scream Two shirt?” Nico quipped. 

Logan let out a short laugh. “I said I don't want you to get sentimental over trash”. 

Nico raised an eyebrow. “You said those movies are good!”. 

Logan huffed. “Yeah, because they are. But, you said they're dumb and even though you're wrong, that means it's not good enough!” he argued. 

Nico leaned the side of his head against his. 

“I'll think of something” Logan added. 

“Don't think too hard” Nico warned. He could almost hear Logan ignoring his advice through his temple. He cupped Logan’s cheek and turned his lips onto his own. The bittersweet taste of cigarettes still lingered on his breath. 

Logan broke away first. Based on his serious expression, Nico’s distraction hadn’t worked. “You don’t mind the taste?” he asked, no hint of teasing. 

Crap. He shrugged, trying to look sly. “Never licked an ashtray before? It's not that bad”. 

Logan narrowed his eyes, flames twinkling. “Is that a dare?”.

Right… Should have seen that coming. “I dare you not to…” Nico groaned.

A smirk crept over Logan’s lips. He sighed it away, looking over his shoulder at the trees behind them. “I think I'm going to try to quit smoking again” he muttered, maybe more to himself than Nico. 

They turned their faces to look at each other. 

Nico smiled. “Good for-!”. 

He cut himself off as Logan took out yet another cigarette. “Last one…” he promised with a guilty smile, putting his hands up. 

Nico threw the least impressed look he could muster at him.

“I know, I know… But, I'm really stressed out”. Logan clenched the cigarette between his teeth and searched his pocket for a lighter. 

Nico got up close, giving him a stern look. He put his fingers around the cigarette and firmly pulled it out of his mouth. Logan frowned. He opened his mouth to complain when Nico shut him up with a kiss. He listened as the annoyed groan Logan let out changed tune. He loved that he could make him do that. 

A smug smile spread on his lips as he pulled away. “There's other distractions than smoking” he said with feigned annoyance. 

Logan’s eyes glowed threateningly. “Yeah? You wanna be my next habit?” he asked, slowly moving closer. 

Nico backed up as he did, all the way until he hit the window. 

Logan closed in even further and rested his forehead against his. “Think you can handle it?” he dared him, narrowing his eyes in a threatening, deep stare. 

He ran his hands down Nico’s waist. The fire burned hot, quickly spreading all over. Nico let out a huff, not managing to sound unimpressed at all. 

Logan pushed his knee between Nico's, gripped his upper legs dangerously high, and hoisted him up on the window sill. Nico almost gasped as his back pressed against the window. He was about to scold him when Logan made quick use of the opening in his defense. 

Fuck. 

Nico shoved his hands against Logan's chest to get him to slow down a little. His arms shuddered as he felt Logan slowly run his tongue between his teeth. He let his elbows fold, slowly allowing Logan even closer. His hand slid up Logan’s chest and traced his collarbone absentmindedly. He ran his other past his waist, gripping onto his back. 

Yeah… Alright... I think I can handle it… 

Nico winced as someone tapped on the window, hard and impatiently. They broke apart. Logan scowled at whoever was behind the window. It was the ‘Gwen’ scowl. Nico didn't dare turn to look to make sure. 

Logan grinned and flipped her off. He immediately went back to his attack on Nico's mouth, even more aggressively than before. Probably trying to put on a show. 

Nico prepared himself to protest. He found it increasingly hard to mind when Logan moved down, biting his neck. 

No! Focus! He scolded himself, gritting his teeth. He was going to protest so hard! His body ignored him, pulling Logan against him as close as he could. Fine… He’d protest later… Promise… He barely even registered the angry sound of curtains being ripped shut. Sorry, Gwen.

-

Over the course of a few hours Gwen slowly forgave them. Well, half of them. She glared at the handprint on her otherwise pristine window, then at Logan. Nico smiled apologetically at her from the other side of the table, dousing the large blue flames just a little.

A very loud bang against wood instantly pulled all eyes towards the door. Mark quickly wiped the coffee off of his face and got up. 

Gwen was faster. Without hesitation, she opened the door just far enough to investigate, carefully peering around it. Her eyes went wide, her mouth in a silent gasp. She almost pulled the door back shut, then opened it further and pulled something out of it with a hard crack. 

She slowly revealed an arrow, with two clearly dead doves around it. The dark, dripping blood stain between their chests stood out in grotesque contrast to the rest of their pure white coats. The arrow had joined them together in death, right through their tiny hearts. She held them up by both ends of the arrow with a slight tremble in her fingers, seemingly hoping anyone could explain the meaning behind the meaningless violence. 

For what could have been minutes, nobody made a sound. Logan pointed at one of the lifeless little talons. Right above it was a small, tightly wrapped scroll. 

Gwen quickly laid the doves down on the counter and untied it with surgical precision. “It says ‘To the happy couple’... Mark, I think it’s for you…?” she relayed, tense and hesitant. 

Mark didn’t move at first, not until Gwen practically forced the small scroll into his hand. He didn’t make a sound as he unrolled it and read it, then read it again. “This… I have no clue what this is about… Eris…?!” he mumbled in exasperation. 

“That’s for us…” Nico said before the realization even fully dawned on him. He held out his hand. The papyrus felt coarse in the palm of his hand, ancient. The words looked carefully written, dark red ink… Or…? He decided not to dwell on that.

My favourite ill fated lovers,

First and foremost, I would like to congratulate you from the very deepest bottom of my Heart. 

If only that was my reason for reaching out to you. Regretfully, no. That cannot be the case. It has come to my attention that our much beloved lady decided to have mercy on you. How very typical of her. How very convenient. Bowing out right before having to kneel down. No. I will not accept that. You see, if I were to simply let you be after all of this, that would send the wrong message. I have a right to satisfaction and Demand you provide. However, I am not nearly as cowardly as our angelfaced succubus. Despite what you might believe, I am not nearly as ruthless either. As proof of my faith in you, I will allow you ample time to come present yourself to me. Precisely two months. Not a single day more. I trust you know where to find me. Do not make me come find you. 

I am truly overjoyed to share this special moment with you soon.

Eris

Logan let out a quiet huff over his shoulder. “Guess we’re not as lucky as we hoped…”.

Of course they weren’t, when had they ever? Nico sucked in his lips. He let Gwen take the thinly veiled deaththreat from him. 

She read it wordlessly. Her face paled a shade when she got to the end. She looked up, eyes darting to each of them, and opened her mouth. She closed it back up, almost as firmly as she did the scroll.

They all looked on as she threw it onto the counter, next to the doves. Anger gave way for tenderness as she picked them up. She walked out the door and stared at the flowerbed next to the porch.

Nico hurried after her, catching on to her plan. He gestured for her to leave it when she reached for the soil, using his other hand to will a small crevice. The ground sunk down under his palm, nowhere near Hades, two feet was more than enough. 

Determined to finally free the poor creatures from their leading role in the macabre display, Gwen quietly broke off the arrow head and slid the doves off onto her lap. One next to the other, she carefully placed them in the small, freshly dug grave. She slowly draped the surrounding dirt over them, tucking them into their final resting place. 

She took the remains of the arrow back inside. Nico watched her break them into small chunks and dump them into the trashcan with quick, disdainful flicks of her hand

-

Everyone had stayed silent after the uninvited funeral. Both Mark and Gwen opted to start their mourning period elsewhere, giving them some privacy to deal with the sudden bereavement. Uncharacteristically, neither Nico nor Logan had said a word since either. 

Nico looked across the table, for any signs that anything was wrong. He couldn’t find any in Logan’s content smile. Nor in his hands, perfectly still. He narrowed his eyes and clicked his tongue in frustration. That dumbass… Everything was wrong! “How can you be so calm about this?!” he hissed. “I come back and the day after we’re already in deep shit again!”. Aren’t you angry?! Sorry you let me back in…?

“Calm down, Spooky!” Logan groaned through his grin. “Course it sucks! But, hey. At least you did come back, right? We’ll figure it out together. And it’s not like it’s new shit. She even gave us more time than we had”. His tone was disturbingly reassuring. “Besides, it’s not even the worst ‘summons’ we got this week, right?” he joked. He cocked his head at Nico’s confused blinks. “You know…? The invitation for the reunion…? For all surviving campers…?”.

Nico cocked his head the opposite way. “The reunion-?” he started, then shook his head. “Wait, for all ‘surviving’ campers?! That’s what it says?!”.

Logan laughed. “I mean, yeah. Pretty much”. He reached behind him and pulled a paper from Gwen’s corkboard. “I should have guessed you’d missed it… The goat delivering them was shitfaced drunk. No way it could’ve tracked you down”. 

Nico looked at the frumpled piece of paper when Logan shoved it in his hand. A large red wine stain bled out over half the text, making it almost unreadable. He held it a bit closer.

 

Dear insert name,

It is I, Dionysus, 

God of wine, ecstasy and madness, in other words, fun! 

You're welcome.

It is your honor to be informed by me of the upcoming reunion for all former campers of Camp Half Blood. 

Those still alive, that is. 

To be honest, it might just be four or five of you. 

Chiron is not good at his job. 

Be sure to remind him of this fact at the party. 

It's going to be sick bro!

Be there, or be square!

The mighty Mr. D

Nico looked at the date. Tomorrow's date… “No fucking way…” he sighed.

“Yeah, that’s what I figured” Logan chuckled. He pulled out his phone. “I should let Yan know, though. She asked about you…”.

Yan… Nico gently pushed his phone down, stopping him from typing. “I’ll go…” he muttered. “Just for a little while!” he made clear when he saw the size of Logan’s grin grow dangerously fast. 

He had to go, he owed it to Yan. With all the new old developments, this might be the last chance he’d get to see her. It had been ages since last time. A lot had happened these past months… He swallowed dryly.

-------

Thank you for reading!! :) All 24 chapters are out on AO3, if you feel like reading more. Do make sure to read the tags and warnings to see if it’s what you’re in for (!): Strife - Chapter 1 - CryingCircusConductor - Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan [Archive of Our Own]