the thing about fandom is it tends to thrive on unanswered questions and doors left open. space to make up your own bullshit and theorize and headcanon. so to an extent i understand why shipping Two Guys Who Stand Next To Eachother is always so overwhelmingly popular because like. well if you know the writers are never gonna go there then it basically becomes your city now. you're the giant rat who makes all the yaoi. i can't really deny the appeal.
[part one bc turns out i have many thoughts]
In which KITT and Michael meet sooner in KoTP, along with a few other misc changes
[under cut bc long post]
Wilton Knight decides the best course of action to leave a legacy is to get himself another son (what with Garthe being estranged and on the run and all)
And he did just find a half dead cop in the desert while taking a joyride in the chopper (i know thats not canon but hear me out its fucking hilarious)
Just a bit of facial reconstruction and some forged documents, and hello Michael Knight
Michael is, admittedly, rather distressed about this whole thing, Devon and Bonnie are baffled by the sheer insanity of basically kidnapping a grown man to play house with for the last month or so of your life
Garthe is also not thrilled by this development when he eventually finds out, but that's not for a while yet
During his recovery, a stir-crazy Michael stumbles upon KITT while wandering to alleviate some boredom after being bedridden for days
Michael is more than a little freaked when KITT first turns on his scanner
KITT, however, is ecstatic.
Michael’s nerves are promptly calmed when this silly little autistic car asks if he’s here to visit and starts rambling about how he misses company
Don’t get him wrong, he loves Bonnie, she made him afterall, but he’s lonely. He hasn’t been allowed to see his brother in over a year, the only mechanic with clearance to work on him is Bonnie, Mr. Miles is always so busy with the foundation and doesn’t get enough free time to talk, Mr. Knight only visits when he wants a progress update, and Mr. Garthe left when KITT’s programming was still in alpha so they never got the interact
'To hell with it' Michael thinks, how often do you get to talk to a sentient vehicle?
They end up talking for a while, falling into an easy banter that comes so naturally like they were made specifically for each other, before KITT reluctantly tells Michael he should go before Bonnie gets back, knowing this new person likely isn’t supposed to be in the garage and doesn’t want to see him get in trouble [getting in trouble is what got KARR sent away and KITT doesn’t want that to happen again :( ]
Michael hesitates a moment before he promises to keep visiting KITT as long as he’s staying at the Knight estate, a promise he is fast in keeping
Bonnie is admittedly suspicious of KITT’s sudden uptick in mood over the next couple weeks, but he seems happier and that’s what matters to her
She tells him that they’ve found a suitable driver for him and he’s very excited when she tells him that they’ll be introduced in the next day
Of course KITT is happy when telling Michael, though there’s a wistful undertone to his synthesized voice, an unspoken ‘i wish it was you’ KITT leaves out but Michael hears away
They stay up late that night, just talking, and Michael doesn’t end up getting to bed until around 5am
He doesn’t mind though, talking to KITT is worth being tired over (<< man who is falling for a car)
Later that morning (after 3 hours of sleep and several coffees) Devon tells Michael that Wilton would like to speak with him, hesitantly he agrees
So Wilton makes his pitch to Michael, who doesn’t immediately reject the idea but certainly doesn’t agree to anything either.
He asks for time to think about it and Wilton says he doesn’t have anymore time to give, but perhaps Michael could be swayed into agreement once he sees what he would get to work with
Michael finds himself facing a very familiar door, thinking to himself that there’s no way, right?
The black Trans Am gleams under the garage lights, as sleek and beautiful as he was last night, scanner speeding up when Michael steps through the door
The Knight Industries Two Thousand
KITT swears something in his circuits nearly pops when he realises what happening
Bonnie makes introductions, they aren’t supposed to know each other after all, and they play pretend well enough
KITT and Michael mutually showing off during the drive with Devon (they do still accidentally run through the garage door, though it's out of barely contained excitement)
Devon swears he’s never driving anywhere with Michael ever again (this will not last)
Taking what Devon said about KITT being designed to prioritise Michael’s safety to a logical extreme
KITT’s primary directive is the wellbeing and needs of his driver above everything else, meaning it supersedes his ‘preservation of human life’ and ‘preservation of self’ protocols (FLAG accidentally overcorrected the problem with KARR lmao)
KITT is allowed to situationally choose violence, as a treat
Michael doesn’t hesitate accepting Wilton’s deathbed offer, let the old man die thinking that Michael is doing this altruistically for him
The body isn’t even cold before Michael back in the garage to see KITT
Maybe, Devon thinks, he’s just overwhelmed by so much death recently? Maybe he’d rather get to know his new partner then sit in quiet grief?
Bonnie swears there is something suspect about how easily the two interact, but she can’t prove anything (though honestly she can hear how energetic KITT is and as long as her boy’s happy she’s happy)
Well, it’s time to head to silicon valley, we’ve got revenging to do :)
has anyone noticed that after the porn ban of 2018 tumblr was essentially killed from the mainstream and everyone flocked to other social media sites like twitter and meta. then those sites got enshittified to where twitter became Nazi Central and meta sites had an entire meme around getting “zucced” aka mark zuckerberg himself would ban you for saying a no-no word like fuck. and then the mainstream shifted to tiktok where infamous toddlerspeak sentences like “he got unalived by a pew pew” were born because if you once again say a no-no word like kill or gun or any other word that isn’t corporate i mean kid friendly then the algorithm will bury your post into the ground. and somehow we’ve come full circle and tumblr is now the most bearable social media site because although we can’t have female presenting nipples we can at least talk to each other like adults. has anyone noticed that at all or is it just me and the flaming skull
I don't need the chatgpt random algorithm to write emails for me because I already have a custom and 100% flawless algorithm called "writing the exact same three emails with the names changed"
#1: "hi [landlord], hope you're doing well! [apartment thing] is [broken/a problem]. we need it [fixed/replaced/handled] by [date]. let us know when you'll send someone over so we can be here to let them in. thanks so much, [op]"
#2: "hi [professor], hope you're doing well! unfortunately, I'm [sick/stuck at work/dead] and won't be able to submit [assignment] by [due date]. could I please have an extension? if not, is there anything else I could do to make up this credit? thanks so much, [op]"
#3: "hi [customer service person], hope you're doing well! unfortunately, [product] [didn't arrive/is broken/wrong color/gave me a rash/poisoned my crops] and I'd like to receive a [refund/replacement]. here is the documentation of the order and photos of [broken thing/wrong thing/my rash/dead crops]. thanks so much, [op]"
Writing an email is so easy and I will tell you how it's done. This is the advice is for everyone with an email job, but you can apply it to normal human interaction.
The FIRST SENTENCE is the thing you want the recipient to do. Do not make them guess.
I want to let you know about ... (This email is to inform someone of something not to ask them to do anything)
Could you please do ... (This is a request. You want them to do something).
I'm looking into x and wondering if you can help me (this is also a request but for information instead of an action).
People do not want to read an email and even if they do read it, most people are skimming and not interested. Tell them what you want first, then provide context or other information (when you need a thing is often key). If the email is informational, you can even add "you don't need to do anything, this is just to keep you informed!" People will appreciate not having to figure out what you want from them.
If you can't articulate what you want the recipient to do with the message, you are not ready to email them. I read too many emails where I have no idea what the person wants from me.
Put the most important thing first and everyone will be impressed! AI cannot do this for you because it can't tell what's important! Only you know that, which is why you must write your own emails.
to everyone who wants help with emails: go through the notes of this post. there are ideas I've never thought of and plenty of scripts for all kinds of situations/jobs
One time when I was a kid a group of girls and I had to treat another student for hypothermia by ourselves because she had so many invisible health issues that the adults we asked for help didn't believe us. The student in question was actively hallucinating. When I finally ran for help the people I grabbed were slow as shit to respond, casually joking about how "dramatic" the person in question was.
The kid was picked up by an ambulance 30 minutes later.
Now as an adult working in security I get SO MANY folks- upper-middle aged mostly- coming to me to 'rat out' people they think are faking it.
I was once sent into a bathroom because a client demanded that the "fucker won't get out, so go drag them out"- I was NEVER going to do that, so I did a wellness check instead. You know who it was? A person recently released from the hospital after a car accident. They had a hole in their skull and major hearing loss. They couldn't answer the owner because they couldn't HEAR the owner.
Another time about a homeless man who got around town by kicking the ground from his wheelchair. "You know he doesn't actually need that thing, his legs work fine, it's just for pity points"- Oh, so he's not paralyzed, his wheelchair is performative? Funny story Dale, I actually know that guy, he was backed over by a truck and has chronic pain from his shattered pelvis. But sure, let's make him stand up and walk everywhere so nobody feels too bad for him and tries to help him or something.
"She doesn't need that scooter, I've seen her get out of it."
"Look how fat he is, because he just rides around and refuses to get up."
"She doesn't really need that cane- she comes here without it all the time"
Sincerely, truly, from the bottom of my heart- as someone who isn't physically disabled but hears this shit all the time- fuck off
girls love the overgrown megastructure. girls want to live in the overgrown megastructure. girls want to build communities and societies in the overgrown megastructure
