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Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
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he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
todays bird
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@crystxlised
- ✴ PINNED POST ✴ - Hello hello this is a sideblog to @rvmovrhasit follow backs will be from there Private, indie, selective
I’m 20+, my name is Mur and I’m angry at FFXIII/FFXIII-2 canon so I made this. I can’t stress enough how canon divergent is this so bear with me. - DOC - MEMES - ASKBOX - MAIN
i know i’m in a long ass semi-hiatus rn but... shit is not getting better home so i really am not feeling motivated to write I DO WANT TO!! and i have some lovely memes and threads to reply and i will get to them I PROMISE
anyways thanks for the well wishes and u can find me on discord to talk about whatever whenever love u all
❝But what is grief, if not love persevering?❞ ❝In a real magic act, everything is fake.❞ ❝This is our home.❞ ❝ Then let’s fight for it.❞ ❝She’s one split end away from cutting her own bangs!❞ ❝We can’t reverse death.❞ ❝I don’t understand this power, but I will.❞ ❝It’s not like your dead husband can die twice!❞ ❝You are my sadness and my hope, but mostly you’re my love.❞ ❝I have what I want and no one will ever take it from me again.❞ ❝This is your only warning.❞ ❝The urge to run from this feeling is powerful.❞ ❝You tied your family to this chaotic world and now one can’t exist without the other.❞ ❝Thanks for the lesson, but I don’t need you to tell me who I am.❞ ❝I’ll let you keep this pathetic corner of the world all to yourself.❞ ❝We are an unusual couple.❞ ❝They’ll never know what you sacrificed for them.❞ ❝I’ve been feeling weird-ie all day.❞ ❝My mother-in-law is in town, so I wasn’t.❞ ❝You have no idea what you have unleashed.❞ ❝You’re gonna need me.❞ ❝Life moves pretty fast in the suburbs.❞ ❝I am not what you say I am.❞ ❝The world’s not the same as you left it.❞ ❝The only way forward is back.❞ ❝Because family is forever.❞ ❝I only remember feeling completely alone. Empty. I just….endless nothingness.❞ ❝It can’t all be sorrow, can it?❞ ❝Don’t use the last 5 years as an excuse to be a coward!❞ ❝We could never truly leave each other, even if we tried.❞ ❝You don’t get to make that choice for me!❞ ❝Who knows what might be next?❞ ❝And all we had to do was be ourselves.❞ ❝Perhaps the rot is the memories. The wear and tear are the voyages.❞ ❝She believed you’d come back.❞ ❝It doesn’t really speak to my skill set.❞ ❝I did not break your rules!❞ ❝Please - I can be good!❞ ❝We have said goodbye before, so it stands to reason…we’ll say hello again.❞ ❝I can fix it.❞ ❝You were born for this.❞ ❝Power isn’t your problem, it’s knowledge.❞ ❝This world you made will always be broken. Just like you.❞ ❝I read somewhere that it’s bad luck to say goodbye in the dark.❞ ❝Perhaps I just wanted to see you clearly.❞ ❝So long, darling.❞
answer some questions and i’ll give you a character arc
romance / friendship arc
you started this story a little hard, or awkward, or stubborn. that's okay. it's harder than it should be to admit, but what you really want is love. that's what your story is all about - not just the act of loving, but the allowance of it. the confession that you do not want to fight or bleed or save the world, but to simply feel the way two hands fit so easily together. you will have two chairs and a table and you will shut your blinds, and you will say the word love without faltering. this is a happy ending, and you do not need to feel guilty. it hurts our hands to fight - never to hold.
tagged by : @seraphicwept
tagging : @crownbled @pyrewarped @hercbled @seraphicwept ( do it for tseng!! or seph!! or lucrecia!! ) && whoever <3
friendly reminder that im fucking tired of people adding drama to the dash to “stop the drama” and to say “i don’t want more drama”... like honestly, are we all in preschool? So i wanted to take a second to say IF I HAVE EVER MADE SOMETHING TO AGGRAVATE YOU, PLEASE TALK TO ME. IF SOMETHING AWFUL HAS HAPPENED, IF I’VE BEEN RUDE, TALK TO ME. If I see one more damn post about random shit talking about everything and everyone without names im gonna flip honestly
Cloud;
❝Yeah… THAT’S NOT IT.❞
Cloud fixes her with a quizzical expression, a brow quirked as she laughs. He’s never backed down from anything before, but he’s also never been faced with something quite this… UNUSUAL.
Hostiles found in the shape of monsters, machines, and men are FAMILIAR to him. The mysterious woman draped in star-stained fabrics, seeking his hand, however is not. But Serah had roped him into this with a promise, and they both know Cloud isn’t the sort of man to break a promise. No matter how ridiculous it turns out to be.
HE SIGHS, sheds his glove as best he can with Serah pulling on him, offering his hand to the woman who eyes them from behind the table.
❝Fine. Whatever.❞
Since coming to Midgar, there had been several things that had fascinated her. One of them was, surprisingly, SUPERSTITION. Superstition had always been necessary to Serah, the fear of the Gods ( if you could call them that ) instilled in her heart for as long as she remembered. It hadn’t changed with time, only amplified as her story had unraveled. In the topic of superstitions, rituals, spirituality, this world was definitely more open to it than hers, and it seemed so interesting to her. Especially because there seemed to be no true fundament behind it. Of course, tarot caught her attention from the start, from the beautiful cards to the extensive meanings. That’s why when Cloud had innocently commented how he would like to know what was bound to happen next, Serah had beamed at the chance to confuse the boy with some tarot readings. And if she discovered something about the mysterious blond or if the readings ended up working, well that would just be perfect. “ How rude. ” she joked, her tone as lively as ever. She didn’t even take offense, it’s not like she truly meant it. [ Adorable ? Huh. ] “ C’mon, just have a little faith, you’ll have fun ! Have I ever lied to you ? ” she asked, as if they had known each other for a long time. It was not the case, but Serah was familiar with everyone she knew.
** secret love sentence starters.
“ meet me tonight ? at our spot ? ”
“ i’m sorry, but you know we can’t do this. ”
“ you almost had even me believing that. ”
“ don’t you think you were a little too convincing ? ”
“ i wished it could have been you. ”
“ i think of you often, even when i know we cannot see each other. ”
“ i cannot keep this up. ”
“ i can’t pretend not to be jealous. ”
“ i wished it could be you on my arm. ”
“ people will talk if you continue. ”
“ i thought this was what you wanted ? ”
“ how can you lie so easily ? ”
“ as soon as i see someone else close to you, i get jealous. ”
“ how can we live like this ? pretending ? ”
“ i don’t know if we should be alone together. ”
“ we could have been happy. ”
“ it’s difficult to be so close but not be able to kiss you. ”
“ i broke the rules for you, isn’t that enough ? ”
“ i wish that i could stop loving you. but i can’t. ”
“ pretending i wasn’t in love with you is the hardest thing i’ve ever done. ”
“ maybe some people are only meant to fall in love with each other, but not be together. ”
“ i love you, not them. ”
“ will there ever be a day where we can tell them about us ? ”
“ were you with them ? ”
“ is that why you didn’t answer your phone ? ”
“ i missed you whilst you were gone. ”
“ i hate seeing you with them. ”
“ we shouldn’t do this here. ”
“ you love me, don’t you ? ”
“ you know how i feel. ”
“ please remember that i love you. ”
Cloud;
❝How’d you talk me into this, again?❞
“ Simple. I’m adorable. ” a chuckle, a tug of his shirt, a whispered hurry up. The faint light of the shop visible in the dark street. “ Plus, you can’t back down now, right ? ”
soooooooooooooooooooo.... it is my bday!!! hello!!! i hate my life!! nah im joking but like im super duper tired and im sorry for still maintaining the semi-hiatus (as always, im here in discord and lurking, will probs write a couple of threads im too excited about to leave behind... or whatever) but yes, im still really busy and depressed but probably next week shit will be better? don’t forget to add me on discord if we’re mutuals asjfljs hmu to ask for it!! love u all
so... i failed my finals i’ve never been so fucking mad i’m still on semi-hiatus bc im too sad to write xd
Tseng;
WHAT OTHER SORT OF FATE MIGHT HE HAVE BEEN DESERVING OF? He had renounced ever single piece of the man he might have once been or become, all to assure the best and safest bet at surviving. Oh, the ever so efficient Shinra method: if you could have not silenced it, or, if there could have been no way to buy its silence, then, you killed it. Thus it had been that, shred by shred, Tseng had long surrendered his spirit to the ever-hungry machine that had devoured him whole, having spat out only a semi-living cadaver.
“Brave words,” Tseng bitterly commented. So naïve, too, he said in his thought. Once, perhaps, there could have been a shred of hope to be found for him as well. However, the Turk was well-aware he was past forgiveness, past cheaply given sympathies. He wished for the sympathy of none, craved for the mercy of none. On this matter he chose, for the moment, not to comment.
“I’m not the sort of man for whom you should waste your breath.” At last, the Turk brought himself to gaze into Serah’s eyes, the shadow of a smile dancing on his lips. “I’m not the sort for whom you ought to pray, either.” A bitter chuckle. “Believe me, there is no prayer in any language known to us that could ever produce a change.” There is no prayer that can now save my soul. Or, there could have been naught to save. How was a soulless man, after all, to be saved?
P r a y i n g. He had mentioned praying. And maybe it was because she had been used by the Gods / discarded like a paper towel, crystallized into nothingness / or maybe it was because she had prayed everyday since arriving, but she couldn’t believe in miracles anymore. It didn’t help that the man she was talking about was standing outside the door of her cell, open but so far out of reach, however she did believe there was something else in him. Something that didn’t agree with was happening, hushed words whispered into her enclosed space, sometimes being too honest or lying too much. She sighed, playing nervously with her hands. She wondered, at times, if there was anything she could say that would melt his heart. That would guarantee her S A F E T Y. But she knew by now that it wasn’t possible, that his loyalties lied elsewhere, that maybe he was as trapped as her. “ What else am I going to waste my breath on, Tseng ? Asking for mercy ? ” she joked, mouth dry and pasty, her throat struggling to make certain sounds. She had just finished an interrogation, three hours of it. ( She didn’t want to think about. She didn’t want to THINK about it. Fuck. ) Her eyes lifted, lashes adorned with pearly tears, to look at the door, opened in front of her, almost taunting. If only she was stronger, if only her legs didn’t burn with every step she took, she could just RUN. And maybe Tseng would stop her, or maybe he would let her go. She entertained the idea, losing herself in the daydream, wishing for the sunlight in her skin one more time. “ And anyways, I don’t even know what sort of man you know. Just that you come here. And talk to me. And that you have a pretty voice. ” the last sentence came out in a thin voice, her throat giving up for a second, the strain bringing even more tears to her eyes. She cleared her larynx and tried to talk again. “ Thank you for talking to me. . . ” [ Why the FUCK are you thanking him, she thought, he’s not helping you. He’s not doing anything. But she couldn’t fault him, she understood surviving. ]
Tseng;
FROWNING, TSENG LISTENED FOR A TIME, WITHOUT SPEAKING. He lit a cigarette. A fine moment of musing indeed! Not that the Turk was particularly drawn to the idea of discussing life, death, and disappearance, but, nonetheless, he listened as he smoked. The more he thought of it, the more Tseng concluded this simply was not the sort of discussion to be had while in a sober state of mind. He had seen plenty of death and plenty of disappearances in his line of work. Too much death. Too many disappearances. Too much loss, all until the very essence of his spirit itself had become eroded.
“There are some out there,” the Turk finally spoke, “Who lived to commit terrible deeds. They live, remembered in history as grand criminals.” I should know, he thought. “So, then, which one is better: to live a decent life and die forgotten? Or live a life of tumult and, then, be remembered as a thing of nightmares?” He should have known, should he have not? After all, he had mourned for a friend who had returned to the world as a thing of nightmare. He felt the sting of that blade even to that moment, although it had come to pass years ago.
Much to his irritation, he had noticed he had spoken more than he had smoked. The cigarette now again between his lips, Tseng lit it anew, returning to the ever comfortable state of silence. He had already said too much, he had revealed too much. When had he even grown so starved to be heard?
Close to a hundred days had passed, if her counting was right. Which it could not be, considering she hasn’t seen the sunlight since she entered what she now liked to call H E L L. But unlike in Dante’s Divine Comedy, where one would shine and save her from damnation, the closeness of Tseng was actual t o r t u r e. The smell of his smoke graced her nose, the familiar fragance of the captor she had grown close too. Well, she wouldn’t say close, but it definitely kept her sane to at least have a normal conversation a week. She was always curious about the man’s replies, as mysterious as the voice she could never put a face to, listening intently to his words. His was a take she had not thought about, one that might ease other’s worries, but not exactly hers. She does feel bad, slightly guilty about not truly understanding what the man meant. If there was something Serah would never cave in, it would be EVIL. It didn’t matter how much they kept questioning her, hell, even torturing her. But he had a point, she would want neither of them for herself. Her thoughts drifted to her family, the sister she had never found, the boy she had left behind, the man she was supposed to marry. Those were the ones she was truly worried about, the ones that would probably be looking for her at that exact moment. [ Or so she desperately hoped, for Noel to swipe in and save her, for someone to save her. ] That day she was finally allowed to have some water in a while, and so her voice seemed less raspy than usual when she talked, finally giving him an answer well thought out. “ I want neither, I just want. . . ” she stopped, wondering if she should be disclosing that many information. She was never sure of where the interrogation finished and the conversation started. A sigh, enclosed hands in her lap, knees hitting rough floor, almost scratching. “ I guess I don’t want to d i e here. This is probably going to make me a laughing stock, but I would like my family to know. ” if I died was implied / the possibility so real in her eyes; she was worried to even say it out loud at the far chance of it becoming real. She noticed the sound of the lighter, interrumpting her words for a split second. Interesting, Serah thought, that meant it had turned itself off. Having grown accostumed to his visits, this caught the girl off guard. It was her the one that usually talked, using the minutes as some type of relief, of emotional explosion. [ It’s not like she expected to make any friends, or even get out alive ]
seph ( @inanisvitae ) said : “ i’m afraid that if i let you see every side of me, you should shrink back in fear or disgust. ”
Deep conversation at four a.m. and the darkness of the world surrounding them / sitting in their garden enclosed by the beautiful flowery smells / had become a constant in their day. At first, the conversation part was lacking, but neither of them could ever sleep, permanent dark circles under their eyes, and so the routine had unseemingly started. It was later, when one of them would dare to b r e a k the precious silence, that they would embark themselves into a journey of discovery. Both of each other and themselves. And while the wind blowed and sometimes even deafened them to the other’s words, Serah enjoyed the calm and embrace of the blackness. She couldn’t see that well, but she knew the garden in front of her was beautiful. In the day she could discern the flowers, and the pretty colors blurred in her eyes creating beautiful watercolors. In the night, like that one, the only thing she could see was light. The flickers of light reflected by the dark grass, the water droplets in the flowers seemed little moons, and Seph by her side like the S U N, bright in contrast to the dark. Tonight she had not even bothered to go to sleep, the loneliness too much to face alone. She had sat out, in their usual spot, cold stone meeting warm flesh. It was summer, but chilly at night, and so she had also remembered to bring a soft blanket to cover herself with. Ready for a full night comtemplating the S T A R S she couldn’t truly see. She expected to be alone, when she had woken up there was no Seph in the kitchen, no Zeus coddling his legs, but it wasn’t long until the silver haired man occupied his place right by her side. They had been getting closer, which is what someone would expect out of sharing space, but Serah knew they were both shut off. ( She had always been so open. Where was that now ? ) Nonetheless, every passing day she felt like she had learnt something new about her housemate. Things like he was as scarred as her, if not more. Things like he would protect her, and Zeus, to the death. And she was oh so grateful, seeing him as a saviour figure, someone that had changed in her eyes as much as her eyes had changed with time. That’s why when the silence was broken for the first time that night, this time by the tall man sitting next to her, her head turned violently towards him. Why would he be scared ? There was nothing him could ever do so Serah would hate him, he had saved her after all. She knew he had SECRETS, things he had never told her, but they both kept so many to themselves. “ Didn’t I shrink in fear the first time we met ? ” she joked, voice soft but eyes open in panic. Was this his way of saying goodbye, or was he warning her for something ? However, she kept her bubbly facade, a variable she was not willing to change, would the result change as well. “ No, but. . . There’s nothing you could say, Seph, that would make me be disgusted or afraid of you. ” her tone was sincere, she would never lie to him. She had no reason to. One small and delicate hand slowly crawled over to his bigger one, not knowing if that gesture was to reassure him or herself. Pink strands of hair were framing her face, her big eyes still opened to the maximum and glazed over, trying to look at his eyes directly but looking right through him. A look that said everything she wanted to convey, albeit not finding his eyes exactly. “ Why don’t you promise to never be afraid of me, and I will do the same ? Then we won’t have to worry about what we say, about our past. I KNOW you, Seph. I know T H I S you. I don’t care about anything else. ”
more prompts for your feels
“ what am i supposed to do when i can’t even trust my own mind? ” “ i have to believe death is the end. because all that waits for me in the afterlife is a debt of sin i don’t think could ever be paid off. ” “ what do you see when you look into my eyes? ” “ it doesn’t always have to be you, you know? your shoulders aren’t the only ones that can bear the weight of the world. ” “ i don’t think hearts break. shattered things can only be broken once. but torn things can be mended again and again until it’s all scars and stitching. ” “ i can’t remember what it’s like to be truly wanted. ” “ every time you look at me i feel invisible. ” “ loneliness is a slow and cruel poison. ” “ i’m afraid that if i let you see every side of me, you should shrink back in fear or disgust. ” “ for once in your life, what is it that you want. ” “ i’ve been wrapped in my sorrow for so long, i’m afraid i’ll feel too cold without it. ” “ i just want to see you smile again. ” “ can’t you stop running for one second? ” “ i’ll be here. when you’re ready to talk. ” “ being strong doesn’t mean never asking for help or admitting you’re in pain. ” “ don’t shut me out. please. ” “ don’t look at me like that. ” “ the world isn’t made up of heroes and monsters. just broken people balancing between the two. ” “ i just wanted to do something good for once. ” “ why can’t you tell me what’s wrong? ” “ just trust me. please. ” “ why can’t you let me in? what are you so afraid of? ” “ you’re so worried about losing me/them you’re missing everything in front of you. ” “ i’m not leaving you. ” “ you’re not alone. i’m here. ” “ you see everyone so clearly except yourself. ” “ don’t you understand? i love you. and nothing you’ve done, no matter how much of a monster you think you are, is gonna change that. ” “ i find broken things interesting. maybe that’s why i like you so much. ” “ i want to be whatever it is you think i am. ” “ you see the good in everything. that’s why i like it when you look at me. ” “ i’ll still be here when you wake. ” “ i promise i’ll never hurt you again. ” “ as long as i have you, the rest doesn’t matter. ” “ what did they do to you? ” “ i’m not sure i should leave you alone. ” “ i won’t hate you. i know you think that’s what you deserve but it’s not. ” “ i want to love the parts of you that you hate. ” “ i’m scared of what you’re becoming. ” “ i’m sorry, i’m not what you think i am. ” “ you’ll always have a home with me. ” “ what happened to you? ” “ i thought i’d never see you again. ” “ you’re such a fucking coward. ” “ i envy anyone who has the privilege of being loved by you. ” “ you scared me. ” “ please, don’t ever give up on me. ” “ i’m not giving up on you. not ever. ” “ i know you love me. but it’s not the way i want to be loved. ”
my phone just died and finals are still here CAN SOMEBODY KILL ME on a better note, I’m gonna revamp my harley quinn blog this weekend after finals are over so check it out lmaooo it’s alive rn but i haven’t done anything in like 3 years lol but if u want to follow its @bitxmx
HOPE WILL ALWAYS SURVIVE IN THOSE WHO CONTINUE TO FIGHT .
lil disclaimer about being away, i’m not exactly in hiatus bc i do want to write and talk and will probs do followbacks still and everything BUT my country is going thru a hard time rn with the whole cxvid19 thing AND i’m on finals week so i might be so spacey and absent im sorry hehehe
send prayers to me cause i don’t know if im gonna even pass this semester, or be alive next week idk, the world is uncertain and im caught in its uncertainty
