Cube-Farmer

[honeytuesday]

my blog is just one long love letter to myself and all the people i used to be

[honeytuesday]

[quixoticrobotic]

every horror writer in history wanted what the 19th floor subplot in the Wayside School books had

[maculategiraffe]

[quasi-normalcy]

Also the gentlemen with the black attaché case who offer you the choice between being safe or being free and the dead rats who live in the basement.

[nimthirielrinon]

I have no idea what Wayside School is

[quasi-normalcy]

It’s a trilogy of absurdist children’s novels published by Louis Sachar (the author of Holes) about a school that was supposed to be one storey with thirty rooms but is actually thirty storeys with a room on each floor because the builders were holding the plans sideways (and apparently this is how architecture works). Each book consists of a series of thirty loosely interrelated short stories about the students on the thirtieth floor, and there are a bunch of weird anomalous things that become running gags throughout the novels and, actually, now that I think about it, I can definitely see how Night Vale would have been inspired by this

[axolotlesque]

psa: a new installment called ‘wayside school beneath the cloud of doom’ was published in 2020, still written by louis sachar, and was released 25 years after the previous entry. it was explicitly inspired by modern stressors, including climate change and the 2016 election.

[cop-disliker69]

[somethingusefulfromflorida]

This is what Willem Defoe was writing on his detective pad

[canwriteitbetterthanueverfeltit]

watching movies is so much more fun once your ear is trained to recognize the Wilhelm scream and the Dies Irae

[canwriteitbetterthanueverfeltit]

You both get it

[canwriteitbetterthanueverfeltit]

If you would like to join the fun and train your ear (aka never be able to be normal during a movie again)

Wilhelm Scream compilation

Dies Irae compilation

[canwriteitbetterthanueverfeltit]

Another important truth

[toskarin]

dr who is kind of existentially terrifying in the sense of "what if you could get taken basically anywhere in spacetime, but you keep getting taken to britain"

[natalieironside]

Y'know what my ideal unproblematic ship is? Ketch-rigged, with a deck mortar for bombarding enemy shore defenses.

[universejunction]

As if bombarding enemy shore defenses is unproblematic

[natalieironside]

Every time I had a problem, I lobbed a 24lb explosive shell at it & then I had a different problem

[angelsfire2023]

I thought this was talking about romantic ships, like shipping two people

[natalieironside]

My friend, it is a pun

[empress-runner]

Ketch!rigging/deck mortar 5k words rated explicit

[nudityandnerdery]

Opposite of a slow burn.

[shock]

if fallout 76 really is a world where “every character is a real person” & there’s no NPCs im making it my civic duty to be like this lowly tavern barkeep and then once i’ve established enough of a rapport i’m going to nuke all of west virginia and it will be in character 

[b0gchamp-deactivated20230613]

someone help where’s the screenshot of some post somewhere about the mmo player who barkept for a longass time then fucked absolutely everyone over

[yessica-k]

This one?

[quasi-normalcy]

I love the way that Star Trek fans just accept that Galaxy Quest is part of the film franchise.

[not-in-front-of-the-klingons]

Galaxy Quest is what i imagine people would be like if star trek suddenly became real tomorrow.

[frompawntoqueen]

Galaxy Quest was voted the 7th best Star Trek movie out of 13

[dduane]

…Never forgetting the classic line, “Ohh, that’s just not right.”

[assiraphales]

karl urban is lowkey a v slept on actor talent wise ngl

[assiraphales]

man EMBODIES every role he plays

[doctorbluesmanreturns]

Karl Urban is such a good actor that not only did it take me years to realize he was both Eomer and Bones, he played three different roles on Xena and I only caught one of them initially

[deepspacepirate]

One of my favorite tropes is post apocalyptic towns being named after dilapidated signs with missing letters, like Novac (no vacancy) and Eaden (dead end). There’s something inexplicable about it

[togepipi]

catch me in the city of fre shavaca do

[evilkitten3]

now that i think about it, jonathan harker would’ve been a great character in frankenstein. he’s so completely oblivious to dracula’s red flag parade that he’d probably completely avert the creature’s murderous rampage by accidentally befriending him after spending a page and a half writing about some weirdly tall homeless guy with daddy issues he ran into

[unfried-mouth-wheat]

“I’ve met the most peculiar man today. He was far taller in height than I have ever witnessed before. His face gave off a general sense of ugliness, though I cant quite place why considering he seems to be quite handsome when not in animation. A multitude of scars seemed to cover his body, perhaps from a terrible accident and the subsistent surgeries. I’ve noticed that he always looks close to crying. When i asked his name, he replied, in length, that he had none. How queer! As he seemed fairly harmless, and rather in need, I invited him to accompany me on my passage to Count Dracula. He looked bewildered, but accepted. I know not whether he shall continue to accompany me when I return to Mina, but I’m quite certain she would never reject hospitality to so miserable a man!”

[unfried-mouth-wheat]

Also consider:

My dearest Margaret, so odd a stranger has joined my ship! I know nothing of him other than he seems to be some sort of European, like Victor, though not the same. He introduced himself as Count Dracula, and spoke with utmost clarity and mastery of the english language. Victor looked upon him in a rather fragile state and cried out.

“Is one demon not enough for my so miserable life? Must another specter haunt my every waking hour, even now as I am so wretched? Oh, save me Walton, save me! The devil comes near, and he dost wish to smother all hope of respite and tranquility!”

Saying such, he leaped from where he was seated on the deck, and promptly fainted. I apologized for my friend’s behavior and brought Victor back to my cabin.

Sincerely, your confused brother, Robert. W

[brain-depositary]

You know, considering Victor’s extensive experience with dismembering dead bodies and reanimating and the fact that his problem for his entire book was that he didn’t think anyone would believe him, I do sincerely think that Frankenstein would catch onto Dracula’s deal at once and immediately make it everyone else’s problem.

[evilkitten3]

victor accidentally fucking up dracula while jonathan accidentally un-fucks up the creature? sign me the hell up!

[brain-depositary]

All these posts declaring that Victor would only be able to cry and faint at Dracula seem to forget that his first meeting with his creature started with him hurling insults and trying to fistfight the 8 ft tall supernatural brick shithouse of muscle while having the constitution of a consumptive heroine so like while this absolutely wouldn’t bode well for his long term survival in Dracula’s castle you’ve gotta admit it would be way funnier.

Essentially the creature would find the one guy who’s too polite to say anything about his appearance while Dracula to his horror would have met the one man in the world who’s even more of a fucking nightmare to deal with than him.

[brain-depositary]

Frankenstein, eyes bloodshot and probably on totally normal Victorian amounts of cocaine: “Hey buddy count I found all these fresh cadavers in your basement —“

Dracula: “Vait how did you find my cadavers”

Frankenstein: “Look, I need them for reasons and you just had them laying around and were obviously not using them and they’re peasants right? So —“

Dracula: “Vhat do you possibly need cadavers for?”

Frankenstein: “I already told you, REASONS! Anyway I can’t help but notice all of them are totally drained of blood and I need the blood.”

Dracula: “how are you getting them out of the ground so quickly, you’re like a hundred pounds soaking vet —“

Frankenstein: “THE BLOOD, Dracula. I need the BLOOD. WHERE THE FUCK IS THE BLOOD. TELL ME, DRAC.”

[brain-depositary]

Later:

Frankenstein: *long winded flowery speech about how Count Dracula is a fiendish devil and vile abomination etc for what he’s done to the corpses*

Dracula: My brother in Christ YOU’RE the one robbing MY graveyard!!!

Frankenstein: *suckerpunches him*

[evilkitten3]

you’re the only person on this post i trust. please never stop i love you

[memewhore]

[memewhore]

[1stfrom92]

When your lady on her period.

[macsceneshawe-deactivated201606]

this got  funnier as it went

[nefepants]

“Don’t call her a bitch but

GET YOUR BITCH SOME CHOCOLATE”

[theequeenpin]

Facts 😂

[p0kemina]

There needs to be some sort of induction ceremony

[victoria-wayne]

This is the only comedy sketch that doesn’t make fun of women and their period. It try’s to make you relies how weird and annoying periods really are. That’s really refreshing

[jelloapocalypse]

I legitimately wish they showed this to me in 6th grade health class.

[memewhore]

[spaceshipsandpurpledrank]

[dragonnan]

I’M HOWLING!!!!