Pronouns: She/her/hers.
I write fic and RP and read stuff. See thegreatestcreativeproject for The Magicians and Eliot Waugh RP content. Check my linked listing for other RP blogs. Avoiding Rhythm of War spoilers, please.
RP Sideblogs | AO3
[image description: the epic handshake meme. one arm is labelled gay people and the other is labelled lesbians. in the middle it says "fuck yeah bro". end id]
hey guys, quick reminder! this post is about uplifting other people!!! tags like 'ugh, but men are gross lol' or 'op has never met a man' are not welcome and will recieve an insta block! men are cool! women are cool! thank you for coming to my fucking ted talk! :-)
[id: comic about a calico cat. In the first panel, she sits on a counter labelled “My Platform” and hits “Fic” off the edge to the sound effect “*post*”.
Five minutes later, she sits on the ground, labelled “archiveofourown.com”, and twists her head around to stare at the fallen Fic, thinking “Comints?”]/end id.
[id: another comic with the same cat and Fic. She crouches down and baps Fic with one paw, thinking “Comint?” again?
Between the panels, she sits in a more dignified pose, glaring at Fic. “…”
In the final panel, she continuously baps Fic, her paw a blur, poor Fic deforming under the pressure, but there are still no comints.]/end id.
“Do it scared” “do it alone” are all great tips, but my biggest takeaway from therapy is do it messy. This is especially true if you’re getting out of a burnout, which I experience often. Literally just do it messy. You don’t need to pick the perfect trail to walk, the perfect playlist to listen to, whatever the fuck it is. You don’t need to have a meticulous to do list and wake up at the exact time you planned and drink the exact amount of water you planned to drink. Like the biggest thing for people like me to remember is sometimes it’s okay to do it messy. Put on a random yt workout and just get it done in sweats. Do 5 minutes of a daunting task and go from there. Sometimes just getting up is a win during intense burnouts or depressive funks. Literally just do it messy.
a healer in a plague-stricken city discovers their apprentice is immune to the symptoms, but also a silent carrier that is actively spreading the disease
two friends running a small criminal operation are offered immunity if one testifies against the other, but both begin separately planning to take the fall to protect the other’s future
a successful warlord meets their former apprentice, who has become a pacifist negotiator
after growing up in an extremely toxic environment, one sibling wants to leave and the other doesn’t understand why
when one of the kids of a supernatural hunter family is turned into a werewolf, their sibling needs to dismantle their belief system to help keep them safe
finding out that they only got their job because a friend pulled some strings without telling them causes someone to reevaluate their skill and success
former roommates at an academy for muscle-for-hire meet again. one has become a bodyguard, the other an assassin, and both now have the same mark
after finding out their best friend betrayed them years ago, they chose to get revenge now, as the pain is fresh
a spirit becomes accidentally attached to a random disaster of a person and helps them tackle everyday life
[Prompt Calender: June 5th, Aromantic Visibility Day]
it's so fun for me every time this appears on my dash because not only did i walk past it irl several times, it's on what is widely considered the busiest bus route in europe
"But it's not FOR them!!!" The biggest military power in the world belongs to a christofascist nation overseen by a felon found guilty of 34 federal crimes and has greenlit a gestapo with more direct funding than the entire military of Canada for the purpose of ethnic cleansing. Let Hetero Jessica throw some biodegradable glitter at a municipal parade
At this point if anyone is trying to exclude anyone benignly pro-queer from a pro-queer space I'm just going to assume you're a fed or something idk like something something destabilize the movement from within or whatever
I am making a VERY big point of the Ally flag in all my pride stuff at work.
Feel awkward about people maybe thinking you’re queer but still want to clearly signal “queers are okay with me”? SURE. LOVE IT. HERE’S YOUR WEIRD FLAG.
Don’t fucking at me about allies right now, they are ALSO actually getting fucking killed over us. Take your puri-gay shitty tent somewhere else mine is great with people’s cishet friends and relatives showing up to have our backs.
(“but what if they -“ shitty behavior is shitty behavior I don’t care if you INVENTED queer sex, if you’re acting like a douche i’ll kick you out. wanna act decent and accept the premises of queer coexistence and freedom, cool, i’m not judging you for feeling ok with the gender title they gave you in the delivery room or being attracted to people with the other standard issue title, grab a pop).
If you're with us, you're welcome. Sure, sometimes you have to wear the costume before it becomes the clothes, but also, some of the best people at Pride are the slightly confused moms, dads, and siblings who show up whether or not they understand. "Love is love" also means "I don't need to get it to show up for you."
SO, your state is trying to overturn gay marriage, huh? Wish I could say I'm surprised, buuuuuuuut, I'm not. Good-ish news: I'm a medical social worker. I'm semi prepared for this!
If the state you currently reside in outlaws and dissolves your marriage, you are going to need DOCUMENTS. Documents documents DOCUMENTS!!
"What documents, Jay?" Durable Power of Attorney for Healthcare. Durable Power of Attorney for Finances. Living Will. Actual Will. There are probably more but boy howdy these are the BIG ONES. Why? Because these documents are what we in healthcare, those in law enforcement, and those in the court/property law system use to designate your Next Of Kin.
NEXT OF KIN means a lot of things SOCIALLY, but legally? Your next of kin is the person who is LEGALLY RECOGNIZED as having default decision-making power for you. Documents specifying a Decision Maker are often called ADVANCED DIRECTIVES. This means you complete these documents, under your own volition, as set of instructions to be followed if you later become incapacitated.
"What the hell does incapacitated mean?" It means you aren't clinically dead BUT it has been determined that you are unable to safely make your own decisions. Examples of incapacitation include being: unconscious or in a coma; being conscious but permanently mentally unsound due to dementia or a traumatic brain injury; being temporarily mentally incapacitated due to a psychiatric episode.
"What does my decision maker do?" Simply put, they make decisions on your behalf. And actually, if the precious, precious documents are completed correctly and thoroughly, they mostly give voice to your wishes. They are the one (or ones) who decide:
"Burial or cremation?"
"Do you want an autopsy?"
"Who is to be informed of this death and invited to the funerary service?"
OR
"Will you be suspending curative efforts or switching to hospice?"
"Will you be placing [patient] into a care home or keeping them with you?"
"Do you consent to homecare services?"
"Do you accept the current diagnosis or do you wish to hear additional opinions?"
OR
"Do you want to try an organ transplant?"
"Do you want to enroll in a clinical trial?"
"Are we permitted to perform blood transfusions on this patient?"
"Are we permitted to provide this patient with psychiatric interventions?"
OR
"Are we putting this money into a trust or dividing it among family members?"
"Are we selling this house or gifting it to an heir?"
"Are we selling the deceased patient's furniture or donating it?"
"Are we burying this body or giving it to science?"
That is for Durable Powers of Attorney, both healthcare and financial.
"What's a living will, then?" is a detailed list of instructions left regarding care during your period of incapacitation, especially when Death is the expected outcome. Where as a DPOA might specify only a few short things: "No ventilator" or "Don't donate my heart, take everything else" or "No pig valves, not even to save me", a living will can be more elaborate, and doesn't necessarily name a singular decision maker. Many states in the US do not treat living wills as legally binding. But, in the absence of more concrete documents, they can be a valuable guide for family members and key members of your care team. We encourage these often in palliative and end of life care, due to those patients being at risk for extended periods of incapacitation.
If you have MS, Huntingtons, Cerebral Palsy, HiV, Schizophrenia, Bipolar Disorder or a history of psychosis, a family history of Alzheimers and/or Parkinsons and/or Vascular Dementia, I urge you to consider a living will. If you do extreme sports or otherwise frequently risk severe head trauma and/or prolonged oxygen deprivation, I strongly urge you to consider a living will. If you have a history of severe substance abuse and/or suicide attempts, I strongly urge you to consider a living will.
"Ha! No WAY man, I ain't signing away my rights to NOBODY. I'm staying in control 'til the moment I die." Unfortunately, no. You will not. If you are unconscious, you cannot make choices. If you become too psychotic to find your way outside and collapse from dehydration because you think your tap water is poison, they will not let you make your own decisions. If you begin suffering from dementia and believe your are seven years old and still in your hometown, they will not let you make your own decisions. If you are effectively brain-dead but breathing on your own, you cannot make your own decisions.
I have had many patients who thought it worked like this, and I have needed to explain to them that their logic is flawed. Your refusal to acknowledge these laws does not exempt you from them, and if you do not choose an advocate/decision-maker ahead of time and then are determined to need one, The System will simply choose for you.
"If I don't pick somebody, who gets to make decisions about my care?" Your next of kin. Who your next of kin is determined be goes like this:
Do you have a LEGALLY MARRIED SPOUSE? If yes, that is your next of kin. Marriage trumps everything else. Keep in mind, if you are living apart from a person you are not "with" but are still LEGALLY married to, that person is still next of kin. Even you no longer speak to them regularly, they can absolutely seize power over your healthcare and your finances. Even if you are currently legally married to your first choice decision maker, fill it out anyway. They are actively working to strip us of our rights, so dig your heels in.
If there is no spouse, they will seek out any adult children you may have, and assign Next of Kin to the eldest one.
If there are no adult children, they will seek out your parents. Yes, even if you are an out and proud trans lesbian, and they are aggressively cruel MAGA cultists who exclusively refer to you through the use of slurs.
If there are no parents, they will seek out your siblings and give decision making over to the either the oldest one. Or, more often at this point, whoever picks up the phone first. Yes, even if you hate your siblings, they have a much firmer claim over you than your friends or your partner in a world without marriage equality.
If there is NO biological family willing to step up and make choices for you, THEN they will turn to friends and unmarried partners, but, the bio family can sue to reclaim their rights at any time.
"Jay, that's not true!! When I was in the hospital and couldn't speak for myself, I didn't have that filled out and they still knew to call my girlfriend instead of my mom. Doctors understand that families are complicated, they wouldn't do this!"
I have watched this happen. I have watched lovers and friends and "chosen family members" who lived with the patient for years be tossed out like fucking trash in favor of blood relatives the patient despised, all because those same lovers and friends couldn't be bothered to sign two sheets of paper one time. While I am thrilled for those of you who have escaped this sort of nightmare, not everyone will be as astronomically lucky as you were. Doctors are fully capable of picking and choosing their moment when it comes to using "protocol" to hurt you, and the sheer number of institutions meekly showing Trump their belly should make you think twice before trusting a bureaucratic machine to protect your rights out of compassion.
Why is it easier and more comfortable to sit in a position that actively damages my joints than it is to just sit with okay posture. Why does my body crave its own destruction
immediately after an interaction: i have GOT to get more normal oh god i need to get more normal immediately i have to get more normal or they're going to hunt me down they're going to hunt me down and flay me for sport
during an interaction: and why not put a little spin on it? why not add some conversational zest?
A problem with the whole Important Queer Media™ discourse is that a lot of folks don't seem to be able to parse "Important" as anything other than a moral judgment, and it's really not. Art is a dialogue. All works are in conversation with other works, and sometimes, works that have merit are deeply in conversation with works that suck. Acting like we can't talk about the latter at all is essentially demanding that we imagine an alternative universe in which those works weren't part of the conversation, yet somehow we ended up in the same place – and while alt-history may be a fun intellectual exercise, it's not a great critical lens.
all the “peer pressure is bad” education we give kids is practically useless because all it cares about is telling them that Drugs Are Evil rather than the much more useful lesson of ‘the person who responds to you saying you don’t drink by telling you they’ll find a way to get you to is also going to be shitty about all your other boundaries’.
it’s not weird to find fanfiction from 2021, or 2017, or 2014 that you’ve never read and actually taking your time to read it.
it’s not weird to love it and comment and leave kudos because the author will probably still see it someday and it will make them happy.
it’s not weird to like said author’s work so much that you want to go look for other fics from them.
it’s not weird to go through the authors profile and look for other fics from the ships you like (or maybe some that you’ll give a chance because you liked the author) and maybe bookmark them for later.
it’s not weird to read these other fics and like them too and comment on them because you actually like them and you want to let the author know.
it’s not weird to read fanfiction from 5, or 8, or 10 years ago and actually enjoy and engage with it because it’s perfectly normal to relate to something that’s less than a decade old!
let’s stop treating fanfiction like they’re instagram posts that stop being interesting in 24 hours! fanfiction is NOT social media, fanfiction is art!!! and art doesn’t get old in one day, one year, or even a decade!
read fanfiction! write fanfiction! comment on fanfiction! let’s not let fanculture die people!!!!!
There's a recurring online tendency to aestheticize consensus itself. The imagined future village is full of emotionally compatible people who enjoy communal gardening, conflict resolution circles, acoustic folk music, mutual aid potlucks, and repairing bicycles together at sunset. Which is nice for the people who genuinely enjoy that lifestyle. But plenty of humans are solitary, prickly, obsessive, urban, nocturnal, sensory-seeking, technologically attached, contrarian, novelty-seeking, private, or just plain difficult. Those people do not evaporate after the revolution. They do not get Left Behind while you are Raptured into the Utopia. They become your neighbors.
This isn't quite the same thing, but it reminds me of something I've been thinking about lately: there is no society, however utopic, that people will not complain about/try to change/get in the way of, and there is no remotely decent and stable society that doesn't have space for that. If your idea of an ideal society involves everyone thinking and acting the same way, you're at best wildly naive and ignorant, and at worst have some nasty ideas about what should happen to people who act or think differently to you.
If you care about social justice please learn to recognise how abusers can and will manipulate social justice language to avoid responsibility, manipulate you and make you believe you’re a horrible person who deserves harm.
With my ex it started slow with things like “your friends are bigoted towards me, but ask me for evidence and you’re victim blaming/ not believing survivors. So you need to cut them off or you’re supporting abuse. Also I heard them talking behind your back and they also hate you for being disabled, cut them off or you’re complicit.”
But before I knew it I was totally isolated and it had turned into “asking me not to sexually assault you is ableist actually, because my ADHD makes me impulsive and I always forget you asked me not to do that. Just because I don’t use a wheelchair doesn’t mean I’m not disabled, – you’re just another wheelchair user who’s bigoted about invisible disabilities”.
That might sound completely ridiculous, and you might wonder how I ever fell for something so blatantly false, but we often rely on other people to get a sense of reality and perspective on things like this. So when someone has cut you off from the world like my ex had with me, what they chose to tell you is normal becomes your selves of what is real. Especially when they make out that you having any kind of doubts about what they’re saying is a result of a mental health problem, severe bigotry and unconscious bias, or both. It’s what makes gaslighting so effective.
It’s also worth saying that this can come from anyone. I’ve talked about a romantic partner here because that’s what I know, but it can come from a friend/ friend group, someone you know online, a queer platonic partner, the people you do activism or political organising with. Any kind of relationship can be abusive.
Abuse can also come from someone who is marginalised in ways you aren’t, or who you feel is “more marginalised” than you feel you are.
It can come from people who are part of groups who are unfairly stereotyped as more likely to be abusive, and those people might tell you that anyone criticising or questioning their harmful behaviour is just falling for the stereotype.
Please remember that the correct response to “All of group A are evil abusers” is never “everyone in group A is an innocent victim incapable of doing harm, and anyone who says otherwise is a bigot”
While not nearly as isolating as what you're describing, I want to point out that the commonly seen "wisdom" of "keeping it in the family/relationship" (aka loyalty to your family/partner means you don't bring up your issues with them to other people) also really easily leads to that reality-warping effect.
It's how I was raised and there was a point in my life when, after 4 years of escalating abuse & finally being free, I mentioned to someone how my ex had spoken to me. When she asked me why I would stay with someone who kept insulting me, I was genuinely confused - why would I break up with someone for being honest with me? Wasn't it a good thing we had such open communication?
Having been raised in abuse and taught to cover up to it just made me ripe to continue being abused even more and constantly act like my ex was the best part of my life, while hating each and every bit of myself more and more every day.
Not openly talking about it with anyone meant that I was just left with my abuser's claims that this is normal and my struggling with it is my own problem, and eventually I internalized them bc I was so used to being the problem.
