dont touch my eggs

Im not a porn bot but that's all u get to know. oh and my profile and header are from mushi-shi which is a dope anime about a mysterious guy that solves people's magical problems in ancient japan, recommend heavily

[aropride]

possibly one of the best tweets to come out of covid so far

[flintenweib]

british prime ministers have the longevity of an average pet hamster

[gummybearattacktheworldofdespair]

[kaylmao]

work like a red onion

play like a white onion

fuck like a green onion

[cumjongun]

Writing a main character that is a deity?

The story i am currently building would have the first installment protagonised by a minor goddess, a nature deity whose job is to create mist and clouds for this valley settlement, to give them shade and rain. It's not a capital G god story, but I think most of the plot would have her interacting with humans. I reeeally want to avoid her character feeling... mary sueish or overpowered just by her very innate being as a deity, especially in contrast to the humans. What can I do to actively combat this or avoid it?? Less obvious stuff, like, she isn't going to be all powerful or anything.

[manicpixiedreamkiller]

how many sharks does a tornado need to be considered a sharknado

1

2

3-5

10 ????

more ??????

other ????????????

Voting ended onMar 27

[manicpixiedreamkiller]

this is the level of analysis we’re looking for here people

[chillyfeetsteak]

wheeeeee wahooooo lalalala

[holdyourcolour]

Happy Wet Beast Wednesday

[orcboxer]

it's meee I'm your guardian angel hiiiiii 😇 okay🙏 so. in about six months, you're gonna die of starvation. 🥺 and if I don't protect you, I will get: #fired! 🫢 and that is No Good 🙅‍♀️ hahaaa So. 🙏 I looked into causes of starvation, and it turns out: Your death is totally preventable! 😯 Uh oh! 😆 There's more than enough food to sustain you without interfering with anyone else's survival, but you're not allowed to have it! 🤨 Whaaat? 🤷‍♀️ Apparently, your death is premeditated by thousands of things called "shareholders." So. 🙏 I've been killing people,

[vastwinterskies]

good thing they didnt have Grindr during the age of sail imagine coming into range of the enemy and in the tense quiet before the storm all your officers' phones go off

[dreadwedge]

used to be jump scares on youtube videos was the sudden demon or the screaming woman. now jump scares in videos is the nordvpn or the betterhelp. really makes you think. really makes you consider. really makes you believe. really makes you investigate. really makes you bifurcate. really makes you spiralize. really makes you shiver and dance. it makes you shed your skin. it makes you engage in futile acts. it really makes you partition the hard drive. it makes you cut apart the hard drive. making you dissect the hard drive. making you reconstitute the hard drive. making you fill the hard drive with a glue-like substance. making you fill the hard drive with a glue-like substance that is derived from beans. i am making you fill the hard drive with a glue-like substance that is derived from beans.

[br1ghtestlight]

spent MONTHS looking for this stupid tumblr post bcuz i constantly want to reference it and it wouldn't come up no matter what i searched despite it being (what i thought) was a popular well-known tumblr post only to find that the original blog turned off reblogs and deactivated and that it only got 12k notes total. but im posting it anyway to preserve its legacy

[energyprison]

Male Hysteria is a condition where a prolonged lack of prostate stimulation causes the patient to behave eratic and promiscuous, often to the detriment of his own life and the lives of others. Unfortunately it has never been diagnosed even once because nobody cares about mens mental health

[catasters]

[angelicdewdrop]

[diehellasrache]

I think I'm going to remember this phrase every time I cook for the next five years

[heckinpupperino]

[junk-thunder]

i pull out my handgun and shoot myself in the head and the bullet flies cleanly through the hole that was already there from when i shot myself in the head last week