Fuck you, I'm hilarious @dacyrdemonz - Tumblr Blog

“average person eats 3 spiders a year” factoid actualy just statistical error. average person eats 0 spiders per year. Spiders Georg, who lives in cave & eats over 10,000 each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted

laerugo

#tapping the reblog button with utmost care because i’m handling a historical artifact (via @malarkiness)

mortimermcmirestinks

holy shit OP is not only still active but is still making absolutely banger posts in this exact style 11 years later

the-tumblur-searchbar

THE ORIGINAL??????? IM BLESSED

cutedummybish

😔😔😔

ripempezardexerox

sorry-im-a-terminalidiot

midnight-kfc

You’re laughing. My mother sold me as an NFT to One Direction and you’re laughing.

frottinq

you people will reblog anything

tibets

the grape died in surgery but I have good news

hoshifromkpop

justintaco

I really hate those stupids posts that are like:

“What about REAL monster girls??? Not just weird humans?? like real huge MONSTERS?? With giant sharp claws and big sharp teeth?? Where are those???”

You’re thinking of bestiality. You want to fuck a T-Rex.

justintaco

viewtifulmarkovich

If it passes the Harkness Test, I’m down.

viewtifulmarkovich

For the uninformed:

randomitemdrop

This isn’t an item or even a game mechanic but I think y’all know you need the Harkness Test at some point or another in most campaigns

wumblr

here’s my issue with the harkness test

archdemoning

howtofuckamonster

The takeaway here is that Scoobert Doo is a fuckable monster

bemusedlybespectacled

look, the harkness test isn’t whether a monster is ATTRACTIVE, it’s whether fucking the monster is UNETHICAL. “do I find scooby doo hot?” is a separate question from “IF I find scooby doo hot, would fucking him constitute bestiality?”

felixitas

manstrans

questioning myself after making this

sew-birb

Steve Buscemi was in Spy Kids 2??

evil-cowboy-wizard

That’s your big takeaway from this post??

numbaoneflaya

Everyone says who you first marry in skyrim says a lot about you but i married that homeless guy in windhelm the Once Honored guy w the bald ass head bcs I read that unless u do he dies in the civil war and so i married him thinking i could divorce him on friendly terms and help him get back on his feet but you cant get divorced i learned too late and he keeps asking my DB for a gold coin every day despite living in her house and yelled at meeko and then i met serana and fell in love thinking i could marry her if I got old baldy out of the picture bcs he never even changed out of his raggedy ass robes anyway so lure him into the small room in lakeview manor and close the doors so the kids dont see and one hit mercy kill him but the kids hear anyway and start screaming and the bard hears too and attacks me and I have to kill the bard and the kids are still screaming. but every time i come back the bodies wont despawn so theres just my dead homeless husband and bard in the house making the kids cower in the corner so i cast reanimate and try to walk my husband outside but that just makes things worse bcs hes making those zombie moans and as SOON as i load outside the door he turns into a giant ass zombie ash pile and goes “thank….. you….” so the rest of the game I just had my dead bald husbands goo ashes right on the front steps of my home and Seranas not even marriable

dungeondaddy69

pukicho

What would you do if there was a child right in front of you

Call his shoe game weak

pukicho

Hurt his feelings no matter what

evilnicegirl

optimisticbananaharmony-deactiv

tracking down bill gates and asking him why anyone would use the start menu for a web search and killing him no matter what he says

cheaphalloweencostume

hey Emily I know we haven’t talked in 5 or 6 years, how’s it going? kids doing good? pregnancy going okay for you? anyway I sent you this because some rando on the Internet thought you might be happier knowing you inadvertently reposted MLP fetish art. wait what’s MLP? well okay let me start off with saying I am a completely normal individual caught in the crosshairs of a violently loud subculture on the internet I am not actually a part of but I constantly bear witness to. secondly does your kid watch cartoons? well you might have seen