dad jokes official

dad jokes personified and dropped off at your tumblr doorstep. profile picture idea by @istheremorethanburrito, who messaged me at one am to inform me that I stole their blog idea :)

[pseudomantis]

[is-the-owl-video-cute-deactivat]

a squirrel or perhaps a cardinal posted this

[phaeton-flier]

How about you mind your own damn business

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offical dad jokes post

[will-o-the-witch]

U girl or a boy

I’m an attorney

[will-o-the-witch]

Somebody do the “but what’s in your pants?” line plz

[ashtarasilunar]

If they're an attorney, obviously they have briefs.

[will-o-the-witch]

Okay that’s pretty good 😂

[dad-jokes-official]

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[parentscomputer-official]

Yuri...Yaoi...it doesn't matter..love still starts with You and I

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[echoingcave]

If you don't like the sun, go to Threnody because there's sure a lot of Shade there

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[animentality]

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[animentality]

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[purple-egg-yolk]

Cupid shot me with that ace aro

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[my-gender-is]

My gender is Homosexula

[theprideful-deactivated20251201]

[windsing5]

And they’re all Vlad

[dad-jokes-official]

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[markovchaingang]

RULES FOR DATING MY DAUGHTER:

my daughter cannot, through action or inaction, harm a human or allow a human to come to harm

a daughter at rest or in constant motion remains at rest or in constant motion unless acted upon by another force

daughters are never created or destroyed, only transformed

always treat every daughter as loaded, even if you know she isn't

you do not talk about my daughter

[dad-jokes-official]

this isn't even a dad joke I'm just in awe of the bit as a whole

[isntnothing]

I’m in love with this stupid shirt

[dad-jokes-official]

official.... does this even count?? i don't know but i love it. stamp of approval 🫡

[neurotypicalite]

theres a pink blue and white flower at rhe grocery store i have to make. a joke

[neurotypicalite]

call that a transplant

[dad-jokes-official]

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[mageglassess]

Getting a renarin themed scarf, going to make it out of coshmere

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[allegrabanner]

structural collapse of the commune, call that communisn’t

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[allegrabanner]

this is the highest honour

[dad-jokes-official]

someday this blog will have fifteen billion followers and I will reblog this again and it will finally receive the attention it deserves

[batsandboba]

birds are so privileged for being able to sit on top of street lamps and judge people. i wish i was up there

[dad-jokes-official]

thankfully, I have a very tall horse

[anremithrl]

What kind of horse?

[dad-jokes-official]

a high horse

[autistobrat]

do you know what happens if a piano falls on a teenager?

a flat minor

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[allegrabanner]

structural collapse of the commune, call that communisn’t

[dad-jokes-official]

offical dad jokes post

[batsandboba]

birds are so privileged for being able to sit on top of street lamps and judge people. i wish i was up there

[dad-jokes-official]

thankfully, I have a very tall horse